Full Moon Rising
by BeautifulMessenger
Summary: Alice wakes up thirsty on an empty beach, remembering nothing about herself. What will she do when she realizes she thirsts for blood? Who was she before she woke? Will she ever meet the compelling blonde man from her dream? This is Alice before Twilight.
1. Awake

**September 1920**

I was drifting. I couldn't tell what was up or down, if it was dark or light, if I was warm or cold... I was frightened, and sad... very, very sad... I could almost remember why. How long would this take? I had an idea that I might be in pain, but the weightlessness made me unsure of anything.

_I hope this works_, I thought.

But what was it I hoped would work? I tried to remember. There was something important happening or something important that was going to happen and I desperately wanted to remember... I had to remember. But I couldn't remember, and the harder I tried the more elusive the memories felt. I was hoping for something, but what was I hoping for? And I had been wondering something just a moment ago, but now I didn't even know what I was wondering about. I continued to float and gradually the fear and sadness faded. I held onto them. I had a feeling that, no matter how painful those feelings were, I wanted to keep them with me. I couldn't remember why. The sensation that I might be in pain faded, too. For that I was glad. Why should I be in pain?

I had an idea that at one time I did know what was going on. But it eluded me now.

Where was I? Fresh fear flooded through me when I suddenly realized that I didn't know where I ought to be let alone where I was. I didn't even know who I was. And every moment the memories that I had been grasping at faded further. Moments ago they were just below the surface, on the tip of my tongue I might have said. Now they were deeper, like knowing I'd had a dream but not being able to recall what that dream was. And now...

Nothing.

Gone. Completely and utterly erased.

I floated now empty of everything, my entire world a vast void of emptiness.

I could have been floating for seconds or years. There was nothing by which to gauge the passing of time.

Then something changed. As I floated I felt like I was dreaming. In my dream I saw a man, an incredibly handsome man with wavy blonde hair. The alabaster skin on his exposed neck, face, and arms was ravaged by scars. His eyes were dark and sad. His expression was one of resigned hopelessness. It was painful to see. I had an urge to comfort this man I didn't know.

I noticed a small woman, then. She was a little clearer than the beautiful blonde man in this dream. She was small, slight, and every bit as pale as he was. Her short black hair was striking against her white skin. She, too, had dark eyes, but hers were happy. No, not happy... _ecstatic!_ Her eyes sparkled and a brilliant smile lit up her face. I realized - as sometimes happens in dreams - that I was looking at myself. My dream self went up to the man. He looked at me warily, like he was afraid I was going to attack him. Then wonder replaced the caution and sadness in his eyes. I reached out my hand to him and he took it immediately. My smile widened into a broad, elated grin.

I gasped, and then realized I could suddenly feel my body. I hadn't known until this moment that I had been unable to feel anything. I also hadn't realized that I had been holding my breath. For how long? It must not have been very long because I didn't feel like I needed the oxygen.

The air tasted funny; kind of musky, salty, moist, and earthy. Like dirt, and pine, and the sea, and plants, and a million other things. Some I recognized but most I didn't.

I wondered briefly about the dream I had just had. It had been a very good dream. Was I asleep? That seemed the best explanation for how bizarre everything seemed right now. But I didn't feel like I was asleep. I lay still, not sure if I really wanted to wake up all the way. Maybe my dream would return.

I could see light, though I hadn't opened my eyes yet. It had a strange purplish hue that I couldn't quite name. Just like I couldn't quite recognize what some of those flavors were in the air. There were noises, too. The sound of waves crashing, wind blowing through branches, leaves rustling, frogs croaking, crickets chirping, and millions of other sounds I couldn't place.

As I lay there with my eyes still closed I gradually became more aware of my body. The floating sensation was almost completely gone. I realized that I was thirsty, very thirsty. My throat felt bone dry. I opened my eyes to see where I was, hoping there was some fresh water nearby.

I was lying curled on my side on a sandy shore. The waves were breaking nearby, running up the beach towards me only to run out of energy and give up a couple feet away. It was nighttime, but everything seemed very clear. The moon must be full and very bright; it seemed as bright as daytime.

I blinked and looked harder. It was strange how I could see all the little droplets of water spraying from the waves offshore. Impossible that I could distinguish every grain of sand on the beach, even the dust in the air. But that wasn't so important. I was thirsty and I didn't see any drinkable water around here.

I sat up slowly, surprised at how easy it was. The moment I thought about sitting I was rising, like there was no effort involved.

The thirst was building, starting to burn in my throat. Why was I so thirsty? It must be because of the seawater. Maybe I'd been swimming and the salt dehydrated me. That seemed like a logical explanation. There had to be fresh water around here somewhere. If I followed the shoreline I should be able to find a creek. My thirst was getting downright distracting.

I stood and looked around. Behind me there was a pile of broken wood and some rope in a jumbled mess. I had been lying on a good deal of the wood. Strange that it hadn't been uncomfortable. It didn't look like driftwood, more like some sort of raft had crashed into the shore during the last high tide or a recent storm. Maybe I had been on that raft. Maybe I was from a shipwreck. That might explain the memory loss. A tragic accident? Repressed memories? Or a head injury? Only I didn't feel injured anywhere. I felt fine, except for being very thirsty.

Terribly thirsty.

Horribly, unbearably, _maddeningly_ thirsty.

Burning thirst began to choke me. My curiosity about the wood and where I was, my past, the dilemma of not knowing my own name, all of it faded. I simply had to find something to drink. I didn't know how I could be so thirsty. Surely I must be too dehydrated to even stand.

Something caught my eye then and the urgency of my thirst receded slightly as curiosity took over. Something was carved on one of the planks of wood nearest to me. I examined it curiously.

ALICE, FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS

Was that for _me?_ If things were as they appeared, if that wood had been a raft and I had been on that raft, perhaps someone had written that message for me.

"Alice," I said the name out loud to see if it sounded familiar at all. But I was distracted by the sound of my voice. It sounded so... melodic, inhumanly beautiful. It didn't sound like me, but I couldn't remember what my voice was supposed to sound like.

Something else caught my attention; a strange, spicy, pleasant scent. I leaned forward and inhaled through my nose. The scent came from the wood. It was strongest in the indentations where the words had been carved. How strange...

Inhaling through my nose triggered something. The thirst flared in my throat again, stronger than before. It burned and I clutched at my neck trying to put out the flames from the outside. My skin felt remarkably firm and smooth, but I didn't pay attention to that. I had to find something to drink, and now.

Instincts that I didn't know I had took over. Before I had time to realize what I was doing I was rushing down the beach, much faster than I should be able to, sifting through the different scents I happened across. I found a freshwater creek, as I had expected, but it didn't smell right to me. Maybe there was something wrong with that water. I passed over it without even bothering to take a sip. I smelled some smoke on the breeze, probably from a campfire. I inhaled deeper and caught another scent that went along with it.

Instantly I launched into a sprint. I flew over the ground, my feet barely touching the sand. My mind was focused only on the delicious scent I was following. I didn't recognize it, but I knew that whatever it was would quench my thirst. I had to find it, and nothing could stop me. The burn in my throat was maddening, as though I'd swallowed a mouthful of hot coals. I could hear the source of the smell now, gentle breathing and two distinct thudding hearts. A tiny portion of my brain was suddenly panicking.

What was I thinking? What was I _doing?_ I knew what my next course of action would be, what it had to be, and it was horrifying. The tiny portion of sanity fought to stop me. But the rest of my mind was no longer in my control. A few more moments and I came upon a small tent with a smoldering fire out front, two adults sleeping inside. Nobody else was in sight or hearing.

It all happened very quickly. In less than a second I was the only one in the tent breathing. The tiny portion of sanity in the corner of my mind was nowhere near strong enough to stop me from quenching my thirst.

It wasn't until after I was finished - my scorching need faded but not completely satisfied - that I fully comprehended what I had done. Though I still didn't know who I was, I now knew _what_ I was.

I felt sick at the thought.


	2. Daydreams

**June 1914**

I stretched out lazily on a tuffet of grass under my favorite oak tree watching the sunlight sparkle through the leaves. With my long black hair fanned out over my head I luxuriated in the warm breeze and sweet smell of the grass. It was the perfect time of day to lay outside and let my mind wander. The sun was just starting to descend from its zenith and I would have enough shade to last me a good three hours in this spot if I wished.

Maybe I would just lie here, or maybe I would go find Dee. She preferred playing out in the meadow to lying in the shade. I always warned her that staying in the sun too much would give her freckles, but she never listened. She was only ten and too young to appreciate how ghastly freckles would be later on when she met a boy she liked.

Maybe I could take Dee inside and we could plan her birthday party together. She would probably like that, even though her birthday wasn't for another five months. Still, if we started planning now maybe Father would let us do more this year.

I closed my eyes letting my mind drift a little. Dee didn't go to the meadow today. I was sure of it. She was going to go to the river to skip stones... and she was going to get her dress wet. Mother would scold her for that. If I hurried I might be able to stop her, but I didn't want her to always rely on me to get her out of trouble. I wouldn't always be around to warn her and she needed to learn to take care of herself.

I sighed and frowned when something else intruded on my mind. Something was coming. Something big and catastrophic, but I wasn't sure what it was. I was avoiding telling Mother and Father about it. They always looked at me a certain way when I tried to tell them these things. They believed me, and they loved me, but they thought I was a freak.

I sighed again. I was a freak. Ever since I was a baby I could sense when things were going to happen. I would cry before being given my vaccines when I was too young to even know what they were. I would look to the door and smile before Father would walk through it, home from work. When Mother was expecting another baby I knew before she did, and I knew I would be having a sister. If only I could have used my extra sense to know how much I would one day wish I had kept it all a secret.

I got up, shaking off my dark thoughts, and tied on my hat before skipping down the hill. I made it to the creek in time to see Dee wading out of the shallow water, slipping a little on the stones, with a chagrined expression.

I giggled, and she looked up.

"It's not funny, Alice." She scowled at me.

"It is a little," I snickered.

"You know Mother is going to be angry."

"Yes, so why did you decide to go swimming?" I teased.

"I fell in!" She pouted.

I watched her waddle onto the shore, looking utterly pathetic. She could be such a klutz.

"All right, I'll try to help," I said, rolling my eyes.

Dee knew I was...different. But unlike Father and Mother, it didn't bother her at all. In her own way, Dee was every bit as different as I was. But we kept her ability a secret. It was bad enough that our parents should be frightened of me. As much as they tried not to show it, still I knew that they were. It was better for Dee to not show what she could do. I looked into the future of things, and she looked into the past. If you gave her a lock of hair, she could tell you about the person it belonged to. If you went away and came back, she could tell where you had gone and what you had done.

I sighed and concentrated; closing my eyes and rubbing my temples with my fingertips.

After a few minutes I had a good idea of what I was after.

"Mother will be in the kitchen for about ten more minutes. If we sneak in the front and don't make any noise you might get upstairs before she sees you."

"Thanks, Alice!" She leaned in and kissed me on the cheek then we hurried back up the hill to take advantage of our window of opportunity. I held Dee's hand, hoping to keep her from tripping on the way and getting her dress muddy. That would just be adding insult to injury.

When we got to the house we tiptoed to the stairway, trying to avoid detection. We didn't do a good enough job. Mother heard us come in and I tried to rush my sister up the stairs, but it was too late.

"Hello, girls. Dinner will be ready in... _Cynthia Desiree_, just look at your dress!"

"It was an accident, Mama!" Dee wailed.

"Accident or not, your dress is a disaster. What did I tell you about playing by the water? Now get up to your room and make yourself presentable. You are not to leave this house again today! Do you understand me? We'll discuss further consequences later." Dee scowled but made no objection.

"Your father will be home soon," Mother continued, addressing both of us now. "Today has been a big day for him, so I want you both on your best behavior. Mary, I want you to go with your sister and put her in something nice for dinner."

"Yes, Mother."

I rushed upstairs with Dee and helped her out of her wet clothes.

"What do you think happened to Father today?" She asked, tentatively.

"Oh, I don't know. Probably a busy day at work or something." I was rummaging through the closet, looking for one of my favorite dresses for her, a pink and green-tiered skirt with white lace on the bodice. I wished I had one like it, only maybe purple instead of pink, and cut a little differently. Cap sleeves instead of long and a shorter skirt...

"But, Alice, Mother seems scared. What if something bad is going to happen?" she interrupted my daydreaming. I looked at her and she really seemed concerned.

I smiled, shaking my head. Dee wouldn't let it go. "Let me find your dress and I'll see if I can tell anything."

She flashed me a relieved smile and went to find some dry undergarments.

A little more rummaging in the closet and I finally found her dress. I pulled it over her head and began to lace it up. But my mind was largely elsewhere.

Father worked at the restaurant six days a week and weekends tended to be more stressful. Being a chef was a stressful job to begin with, but he had aspirations. He wanted to work for bigger companies, five-star hotels and political events. He wanted to provide more for his family and to make a name for himself in the process. Could something be going on tonight that would change that? Could some disaster be about to happen? Could this be what was causing my unfathomable and nebulous fear whenever I let my mind wander?

I felt a spasm of fresh fear as my mind touched on that. I had no idea what it was about, but I couldn't find anything that it didn't touch in some degree. It was like there was something huge and terrible about to happen and it would affect the lives of everyone around me.

But that fear wasn't about Father, at least not specifically.

There _was_ something going on tonight, though. Father would be coming home late, and he would either be very happy or very sad. I couldn't tell which or why. All I could tell for sure was that he wouldn't be home until after dark.

"Alice?" Dee was watching me. My hands were still held out in front of me, even though I had finished tying up her bodice.

I shook my head, blinking, trying to dislodge the vision and come back to the present.

"Father will be home late. But it's not necessarily a bad thing. It might be good news."

"What's wrong?"

I forced myself to smile. She must have noticed the moment of fear while I was lost in the vision.

"Nothing, really. Here, let me braid your hair. And I think the green satin ribbon would look really nice with this dress."

She eyed me suspiciously for a second so I went to the dressing table to fetch the ribbon. I braided her hair and tied it up.

"There. You're lovely," I said, satisfied. "Now if you'll just stay out of the sun so much and remember to wear your hat maybe those freckles will fade a little," I teased her, tweaking her nose.

She giggled. "Maybe I'll meet a boy who _likes_ freckles. Did you ever think of that?"

I appraised her with pursed lips and narrowed eyes. "Maybe, but why take the chance?" We both laughed then and I skipped downstairs to help Mother in the kitchen.

"Mary, set the table, dear. I'm just about ready to put the biscuits in and I need to freshen up."

"You have plenty of time, Mother. Father won't be home until after dark." I said the words automatically, reflexively. I immediately regretted them. My back was to her, but I could almost feel the tension coming off her. I winced.

"Oh. Well then." She responded in a clipped tone, a mixture of fear, regret, guilt, and forced civility. It was the tone she always used when I let myself slip up. Which happened more often than either of us liked.

"In that case..." she continued in the same tone, but didn't finish. She hesitated, and then left the room.

I swallowed hard, trying to dislodge the lump in my throat and felt tears welling in my eyes. I took a deep breath and finished setting the table.

After dinner the three of us waited in the sitting room for Father. I looked ahead for him once in a while, waiting for any change that might make it clear what we might expect when he got home. A few hours after sunset it cleared up a little. Father would be happy, _very_ happy. I sighed, smiling at my sister. She looked at me curiously, but Mother was in her chair reading on the other side of the room, so I just winked.

We sat in silence, each of us occupied with our own tasks. Dee was sketching on her drawing pad, I was embroidering a handkerchief, and Mother was just finishing her novel when we heard the sound of Father's footsteps outside the house.

We all put down our things and stood up just as he opened the door.

"Papa!" Dee exclaimed and ran into his arms. I skipped to him after her and was caught up in a hug of my own.

"Good evening, my angels!" he chuckled.

He went to Mother and kissed her. Then turned to address all of us.

"I have some excellent news for everyone." His eyes sparkled as he took in our rapt expressions. "There was a very special guest at the restaurant tonight. A man named Frank Monteleone, who recently acquired a hotel in New Orleans. As it turns out, tonight he was so impressed with his meal that - " He grinned conspiratorially. "Guess who he asked to be the new sous-chef at his hotel?"

Dee squealed and bounced with excitement.

"Oh, Papa! Really?" I asked, hardly able to contain myself. We were going to move to New Orleans!

"Charles! Oh, I'm so relieved!" Mother cried.

"There's nothing to worry about now, darling." He glowed at her. "Mr. Monteleone is willing to assist us in finding a place in the area and getting set up. We'll be there in a few weeks. You're going to love it in New Orleans. The city life will suit you and the girls, I think."

We all gathered round him as he ate his supper, which Mother had kept warm for him by the stove. We talked about the move, the hotel, the city, and how wonderful life would be now that Father would be working as a chef at a fancy hotel.

I sneaked a few glances at Dee that evening when I thought our parents wouldn't notice. I wanted to know if she saw anything that would explain the uneasy feeling I had. Her face was serene, unclouded. Maybe I was just being paranoid.

When we finally got into our nightclothes and settled into bed, Dee was excited. I would have been, too. I should have been. We were moving to the big city; the clothes, the balls, the shopping, the society. I should have been ecstatic. But the uneasy feeling was getting harder to push aside. It was as if something wanted to be seen, was _trying_ to be seen. But there was a darkness about it that I didn't want to face.

When I was little, my parents had told me that I had a 'gift'. Sometimes it seemed like more of a sick joke to me. Sure it was occasionally useful to be able to see what was going to happen. But it caused problems more often than not. And sometimes I didn't want to see if something really bad was going to happen, or if something was going to happen that I shouldn't know about. And then I had to keep secrets. Like when Father had met a lady friend a few years ago... a _special_ lady friend... He still didn't know I'd seen that. I wished I hadn't. I even kept it secret from Dee, though she probably already knew about it. In fact, she was probably trying to keep it a secret from me for the same reasons I kept it from her.

But this new, dark, frightening thing didn't feel like it was about anyone in particular. More like it was about _everyone_. What if there was a sickness coming? What if it was an earthquake? A hurricane? No, it was bigger than that.

"What is the matter, Alice? Didn't you hear what I said?"

"I'm sorry, what?"

She just sighed, exasperated. "You've been acting peculiar all day. I thought you were worried about Father. But he's got the job now, so what's wrong?"

"I... I don't know." I stared down at the floorboards. I felt guilty for letting Dee bear any of my undefined burdens. My little sister shouldn't have to deal with my demons.

"Is it about Father?"

"I don't know, Dee." I sighed. "Did you see anything from him tonight? Anything that happened?"

Dee pursed her lips. "Not really. Just that he had to work very hard. His boss was kind of mean to him, but he did a good job. A man wearing a nice suit who was eating the food asked to see him and offered him a new job. But we already knew all of that."

"Oh. Well I guess I'm just being silly."

"Maybe you'll feel better once we're in the city. It's going to be wonderful, isn't it? Think of all the shopping you get to do once we're there!"

"And the parties!" I agreed.

We both giggled and settled in for the night.

~||x||~

"Mary! Mary! Wake up!"

Mother was shaking me, eyes wide and voice trembling. Dee was standing next to her, her face white. I heard a strange, loud, high-pitched noise.

I was suddenly out of breath and I realized that the noise was me. I had been screaming. It made sense, though. Moments ago I was in the midst of explosions, smoke, blood, and death. I was hearing gunfire, cannons, and screaming of thousands, hundreds of thousands, _millions_. I could almost smell the burning flesh. I could almost feel the impact of the bombs.

I gasped for air. Trying to calm down. Trying to push the horrible images out of my mind.

"Were you having a nightmare, dear?" Mother stroked my forehead, pushing aside locks of sweaty hair. I was still trying to catch my breath.

"Um... Yes... A nightmare." I panted. Only it hadn't felt quite like a nightmare. I felt a little too _real._

Mother heard the uncertainty in my answer. I saw a moment of conflict in her expression, but she decided not to ask any more questions.

"Well, it's over now. You girls get dressed and come down for breakfast." She smiled and kissed my forehead, then left.

When we were alone Dee looked at me with wide, questioning eyes.

"Don't worry about it," I told her, trying to shake off the disturbing images again.

She let it go for the moment and we dressed and hurried downstairs to have breakfast. I still felt shaky. My hands were trembling so I clenched them tightly at my sides.

"Good morning, my angels!"

"Good morning, Papa!" We chimed and went to claim our morning kisses.

We were all settled at the table and enjoying some oatmeal when Father opened the newspaper. It was June twenty-ninth and one of the headlines caught my attention.

**Assassination of Austrian Heir and Wife**

As I read the headline I was suddenly caught up in one of my unwilling visions. It was strange how they worked. Sometimes I had to concentrate so hard to see something, but sometimes I had to see whether I wanted to or not. And this I certainly did _not_ want to see; blood and death; explosions and gunfire; giant armored machines of destruction; dirty, exhausted men shouting in English and unfamiliar languages; weeping families.

"Mary? Are you okay?" Father was watching me with a concerned expression.

I realized that I was staring straight ahead, open-mouthed, with my trembling hand held over my bowl but my spoon had dropped, clattering to the table. My eyes were moist.

I looked at Dee and Mother. They were watching me, too.

I burst into tears and the truth poured out of me in a moment of weakness.

"I'm frightened," I sobbed. "Something happened today, or maybe it was yesterday. But I think a war is going to start. A really, really bad war! So many people are going to die! I saw them! I saw them being killed...it's so horrible!"

I sat there sobbing while Father and Dee stared at me with pained, helpless expressions. Then Mother came up behind me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. She waved off Father and Dee and held me while she waited for my sobs to quiet. When they finally did she gave me a long grave look.

"Is this what you were dreaming about last night?"

"Yes," I sniffed.

She sighed. "We always knew you were special...I only wish you didn't have to bear such a burden. These...things you see, they are frightening enough for us, your family, to deal with. I love you with all my heart, Mary, but you know it's frightening for me and your Father, and even your sister sometimes. And it breaks my heart to know how much more frightening it must be for you, especially when you see something like...like this." She whispered the last words.

"Now, you need to remember that there are some things you can change and some things you can't do anything about. If what you see is really going to happen, well, there's nothing you or any of us can do about it. I don't really know what you saw in your dream or just now. I know it has caused you pain and I wish you didn't have to deal with that. But don't you _dare_ start blaming yourself if it really does happen. It's bad enough that you had to see it. Don't take the extra burden of thinking there's something you could have done to prevent it. Try your best to put it out of your mind. Don't think of it again. Promise me?"

I nodded. "Yes, Mama."

"That's a good girl." She smiled softly and brushed my tears away. Then she embraced me tightly. "If there was only some way we could make this go away. Isn't life complicated enough for a young woman without having to deal with this, too?"

I smiled a little. "I don't mind so much...most of the time."


	3. Lost

**September 1920**

I crouched over the lifeless, drained bodies in the tent on the beach. It had been so wonderful, and so horrible. In the moment it had felt like all was suddenly right with the world, an ecstasy beyond anything I could have imagined possible. But now...I was a monster. And I was still thirsty. The burn in my throat had ebbed, but I still wanted more. I _needed_ more.

Suddenly I saw something. The vision reminded me of the dream I'd had while I was still floating. But in this vision I did not see the beautiful blonde man. It was an average-looking man, slight, with cropped light brown hair. He was pale and graceful, and he was swiftly approaching the tent where I was hiding with my victims. He moved in a stalking, cat-like manner and his expression seemed... frustrated.

Some instinct in me kicked into high gear and I rushed out of the tent in a flash, crouching defensively, glaring into the night.

I heard the sound of movement in the brush and caught a scent on the breeze. It was similar to the scent on the wood where I had awoken, and similar to my own scent. But it was still distinct.

A snarl erupted from my chest, warning the approaching one that he would not catch me unaware. The approaching sounds seemed to slow a little, hesitating. Then the man emerged from the brush.

The second I saw him, moving in the same stalking motions with the same frustrated expression on his face, something clicked in my brain. The vision I'd seen had warned me of his approach. Somehow I knew he was coming before my other senses could pick it up. Could I _see_ the future?

He shifted out of his crouch and appraised me for a moment, pacing gracefully in an arc, keeping his distance. With my senses heightened in alarm I noticed a strange new phenomenon. I seemed to see what he was about to do a moment before he actually did it. Every step he took, every shift of his weight, even when he cocked his head to the side in curiosity. It was as if each action were performed twice, once in my mind, and once in reality. It was like an echo, only backwards.

I didn't let this revelation distract me, though. I sensed that this man was a danger, somehow, and I was still crouched low, teeth bared, and ready to fight.

The man - or was he a blood drinking monster like me? That seemed right - the other monster made one more cautious pass, then stopped and sighed heavily.

"It's really too bad," he murmured quietly. His voice was smooth and soothing. "You don't need to be afraid of me. I have no reason to harm you."

"What do you want?" I spat at him. I didn't know why, but I didn't trust him. My instincts were telling me to defend my kill, even though I knew they were already drained. But I also suspected more danger from this one for some reason.

"It doesn't matter. I can't have what I want anymore." He gritted his teeth and his eyes flashed back up the beach, toward the place where I had awoken. "I got what little I could. That will have to suffice." Then he smiled at me, wickedly. "I was curious to see how you'd turned out."

"You aren't making any sense!" The frustration was maddening. It stunned me. I was suddenly livid. I had no idea what was going on or what had happened to me, and this strange man was making cryptic remarks seemingly just to irritate me, as if he knew more about me than I did. It was only more maddening to know that he probably _did._

My anger erupted into action. I launched myself at him, blindingly fast, intent on ripping off the first body part I could grasp.

He dodged me easily.

"Calm down!" He chuckled. "I told you I'm not here to hurt you."

"What happened to me? Tell me! What's going on?"

"Didn't he tell you?" He looked bewildered.

"Who? What are you talking about?"

We stared at each other for a moment, still as statues; me in frustrated expectation, he in shock.

"You really don't remember? That's odd. I wonder why - "

Like a strike of lightening I launched myself at him again. I was starting to use my strange foresight to anticipate his moves, to see if it would help me. He dodged my attack again, but not so easily. I got much closer this time. He was more wary of me as we repositioned ourselves. I had a shred if his shirt grasped tightly in my fist, evidence of how close I'd come to catching him.

"Ok, I'll give you the basic idea," he conceded. " Do you remember that searing pain you were in about twenty minutes ago?" He raised an eyebrow as if he was pointing out something so obvious it didn't even warrant mentioning.

"What are you talking about? I wasn't in any pain!"

He stared at me, frozen in place for a moment. I stared back, waiting for him to say something, _anything_ that would make sense. I was getting irritated with his silence and he must have sensed that I was about to lose my cool again because he rushed on.

"All right, all right...I'll tell you." He held up his hands, palms forward, gesturing for me to calm down. "You are a _vampire_ now. A few days ago you were a human, but one of our kind," he gestured to himself, "Bit you and transformed you into one of us. That would explain why you're out here on the beach in the middle of the night drinking the blood of hapless campers." He gestured to me and I looked down at myself. I was wearing some sort of long white nightgown. It was torn and smeared with the blood of my victims. A little compartment of my mind was annoyed by this. I probably looked like a wreck.

"I'll even give you a bit of free advice." He smirked. "You'd better clean up after yourself if you want to survive." He nodded his head in the direction of the tent. "And it's also probably not a good idea to be wandering around town in the daylight, just trust me on that one."

He eyed me again with regret in his eyes and then sighed, shaking his head.

"Well...see you around...maybe." Then he turned and rushed away, swift as an arrow, through the brush.

I watched him go. Then I looked back at the tent. A small shudder ran through me; partly because I was horrified at what I had done. But part of me shuddered in desire for more. I wanted to run away from the scene, to run from this whole nightmare.

Before that thought really had time to sink in I was caught up in another vision. If I ran, if I just abandoned this tent without cleaning up my mess, there would be police, news stories, inquiries and even though those people would never get near me, eventually...dark cloaked figures would come. I would run from the cloaked ones, but they would eventually catch me and...

I gasped at what I saw. No, I couldn't leave things like this. I had to destroy the evidence. Whoever those cloaked ones were, I did not want to meet them.

I gathered the whole tent with the bodies inside and wrapped it all up in one big bundle. I was still amazed at how strong I was, easily able to lift the whole thing with one arm. I carried everything into the water. I figured I would go as far out as I could and bury the evidence in the sand offshore.

When I got out in the water, however, I was surprised again at how easy it was to swim. I was strong, and didn't have any trouble breathing. In fact, I didn't feel the need to catch my breath at all. I was a little distracted by this but I forced myself to remember that I was on a mission. I swam a good distance out and found an underwater current that would carry my gruesome package far out to sea. I let it drift away and started slowly swimming back to land.

As I swam I took stock of my situation. I had no memory of who I was before this day. It seemed from the note on the wreckage, if that note really was for me, that my name was Alice. It seemed that I was now a vampire. I craved the blood of human beings; I'd proven that much. I was also all alone. I obviously couldn't keep company with humans, and the one vampire that I met didn't seem interested in a companion, not that I really wanted _his_ company either. I only owned one very ugly article of clothing that was blood stained, torn, and drenched in seawater. But I did have one point of brightness to look at, the very first thing I could remember: the vision of the blonde one. If that was a vision of the future, if I would one day meet him, there was hope after all. He seemed happy to see me and I was certain that I would be happy to see him. I didn't know when that would happen, but it would be something to look forward to and that was enough for now.

I skipped lightly out of the surf and looked down at my gown.

At least most of the blood had rinsed off...

"Well, first thing's first." I told myself, trying to wring out some of the water. "I need to get some new clothes."


	4. The Ball

**February 1918**

I had been right about the war. That assassination that I'd seen in the newspaper had been the catalyst for what was now being called "The Great War". Cousin Geoffrey had been drafted and, as much as I had tried not to, I saw his fate before it happened. I hadn't told anyone, though. It would have only made things worse.

After four horrible years the war was finally coming to a close, but there were still plenty of horrible things happening. I was trying to take my mother's advice. She was right, there was nothing I could do about it. Still, that didn't stop the nightmares. I was starting to just expect those now. It was customary for me to wake up in the middle of the night screaming. It was a good thing that Dee and I had separate rooms now in our new flat in the city, or my poor sister would never get a good night's sleep.

Today I would do my best to put that all out of my head. Father told Dee and I that we should go shopping today to get dresses for a party at the hotel. In the past few years he had gone from being the sous chef to being the head chef at the hotel. He was making more money than our family had ever dreamed of. Now a big event was coming up and he had enough influence to get seats for everyone in the family to attend the dinner. Mother said she'd rather not, but there was no way Dee and I would miss this opportunity. Fancy dresses, music, dancing, and the kind of food that Father _could_ make but never did at home!

Dee and I caught a taxicab and I directed the driver to a tailor I knew of.

"Can't we just go to a department store?" Dee whined.

"I am not going to let my little sister wear something off the rack!" I scolded, feigning shock.

She rolled her eyes at me. "It would be cheaper, and easier, and take a lot less time," she countered.

"But not nearly as much fun!" I grinned at her.

"Are you going to insist on designing a hat for me, too?"

"Maybe." I said, still grinning. "There's a designer in France that I've read about who makes some unique hats, very simple in style. Most of them are all black... I kind of like them." I added, thoughtfully.

"Black? Like for a funeral?"

I just laughed. "Don't worry, Dee. It's an evening event, we won't need to wear hats."

"Black." She wrinkled her nose. "It'll never catch on."

We arrived at the tailor and Dee lost interest quickly with the details of her dress. She chose a white linen fabric and a basic design but let me make all the little details. When it was my turn I was almost going to choose a pink fabric when I thought of those black hats again and got an idea.

I browsed around for a while and the tailor was eying me speculatively when I paused on something I liked.

Can you make me a dress out of this fabric? I asked.

"That's jersey, ma'am."

"I like it."

"It's used for making... er... unmentionables... for men."

"And I want it without a corset."

Dee was staring at me now. "Alice!"

"But, without a corset the dress will be shapeless," the tailor complained.

"Just do it, okay?"

I spent the next fifteen minutes specifying the details of how I wanted the dress to turn out. I had a picture in my mind of an elegant sheath of fabric, clinging to my skin and complimenting the curves I had rather than creating an artificial shape of its own.

"But, Alice!" Dee hissed at me when we left. "He said that fabric was for men's underwear! And are you sure you want a _black_ dress? Nobody else is going to be in black. It's a _party!_"

"It doesn't matter to me what it's normally used for, all that matters is that it will work. And I know it's a party. You should know me better by now, Dee, really." I rolled my eyes. "It's going to look fantastic, I'm sure of it. Trust me."

The weeks passed swiftly in anticipation of the event. Father labored over recipes and planning the different courses and beverages. Dee and I could hardly talk about anything else; the dancing, the food, the music, and the men. Surely there would be some young men there to flirt with, dance with, and break their hearts before the evening was done.

Dee's dress turned out lovely. I'd made sure that it wasn't too complicated; a little lace here and there, a bit of ruffle around the hem, but no flowers or feathers to distract from her natural delicacy. The dress made her look older. She was only fourteen but to look at her one would assume she was a young woman.

My dress had turned out exactly how I'd planned. It was slender, black, elegant, a little stretchy, and comfortable. I felt a little exposed not wearing a corset, but it looked gorgeous on me. It was a daring gown, Dee was right about that. But I would be surprised if, after seeing it, every lady there didn't immediately want to go out and buy one of her own.

We took the time to put up each others hair. I pinned Dee's locks and curled them, adding some baby's breath here and there. She helped me as I twisted and braided mine into an intricate bun.

Father needed to be at the hotel much earlier than we did since he was running the kitchen. So a couple of hours after he left Dee and I bid Mother goodbye and caught a taxicab.

The Hotel Monteleone was situated in the Little Italy area of New Orleans and was easily one of the most prestigious buildings on the street. The atmosphere of the party when we entered was intoxicating; the music, the hum of a hundred conversations mingling in the air, the clinking of crystal, the aroma of the food and flowers.

The doorman took our coats and I felt a moment of smug satisfaction when I heard his surprised gasp and murmurs from the ladies in our general vicinity.

"I will admit it, sister." Dee whispered in my ear. "Your dress does look very nice."

"But?" I asked. I could hear it coming.

"But wouldn't it have been more fair to give the rest of us a chance with the men?" She giggled.

I laughed with her. "Men were never the object of my efforts, merely a convenient side effect. Besides, at your age you should still be looking, not buying."

We found our seats and began chatting pleasantly with the others at our table. After a little while someone new approached and sat down in the yet-unoccupied seat to my left. He was tall, with dark hair and olive-toned skin; well dressed and well muscled. He looked like he was in his early twenties.

"Good evening," he greeted us. "I hope I am not intruding on the conversation by arriving so late." He spoke with what sounded like an Italian or Sicilian accent. His dark eyes skimmed over the faces of everyone at the table and finally rested on me.

"Not at all," the man across from me replied. "The meal is going to be served soon, and it's dull to talk while eating, I always say."

The newcomer was still appraising me. I blushed, and he finally looked away.

"The name's Carolla, Sylvestro Carolla. Some call me Sam."

The man across from me seemed to flinch at the name, and the other couple looked up in shock. But Mr. Carolla didn't appear to notice. He was looking at me again.

"I don't believe I have ever had the pleasure..." His eyes flashed to Dee for a moment as if he felt a little of the impropriety of singling me out without paying my sister any attention.

"Brandon." I answered, a little bit shaky. "Mary Brandon, and this is my sister Cynthia. Our father is the head chef at this hotel."

"That is good to know. Now when I find our meal to be superb I know someone can show me whom to thank." He smiled warmly. I blushed again. This was my first big party and I wasn't used to this kind of attention.

"Miss Brandon, might I trouble you for the favor of a dance?" He stood and held out his hand for me.

"Gladly," I answered, trying to sound calm. I wondered if it was the new dress that was garnering all this attention. Not that I hadn't sort of expected that...

As we walked out to the dance floor I looked back at Dee to see what she thought of the situation. She was watching us and had an alarmed expression on her face. Frightened even.

Frightened? I had been worried that she might be a little jealous, but not _frightened._

We began the dance and I tried to focus on the simple steps while distracted by my sister's reaction. The man across the table and the other couple had been shocked when they heard Mr. Carolla's name. Was he well known, and not well liked? He seemed perfectly genteel to me. But I had never heard of him before.

"You are a very graceful dancer, Miss Brandon, if I may say so."

I smiled at him. "Thank you. I love to dance."

"Then it is fortunate you are so good at it."

Perhaps I could get some information from him directly? I tried to play it cool.

"Do you dance often?" I asked.

"Not very. But perhaps I would if there were always such an agreeable partner available." He smiled at me.

My face warmed. This was starting to get ridiculous.

"Do you not attend parties like this often, then?" I asked, trying to get back on track.

"Not often, my line of work doesn't bring me into these social circles very frequently."

"What is it you do?"

His face darkened a little. "Nothing of very great significance. Not yet. But I hope to make something of myself and my family."

"You're married?" I was a little shocked. A married man should not be flirting in this outrageous manner. Was that why Dee had been frightened, was he trying to make me his mistress?

"No, not married." He smiled. "But I do have a lot of brothers."

I calmed down a little. "And what is it you plan to do that is so significant?"

"Let's just say that I would like to be a man of honor, a man of respect."

The dance ended and the meal was announced. We returned to our table and I was still stumped at why everyone else was so afraid of Mr. Carolla. If Dee was frightened it must be because she had seen something in his past that scared her. If she saw something in his past, perhaps I could see something in his future that would enlighten me.

While we waited for the food to be served I tried to concentrate on his future. It was very difficult. I hardly knew the man and that made seeing him harder. I also had no idea what I was looking for. And every five seconds or so someone would say something to me or ask me a question. It was very frustrating.

Our food finally arrived and I had a solid thirty seconds to really concentrate while everyone was being served. Then I saw something. It wasn't what I was looking for, but it was certainly alarming enough.

"Wait!" I shouted, and yanked the spoon out of Mr. Carolla's hand just before it reached his lips. In my effort to stop him I accidentally knocked his whole bowl over. Soup splashed over both of us, soaking his shirt and the front of my dress in steaming, orange creamy broth.

The whole room went silent. Everyone within a three-table radius, and possibly even further out, was now staring in our direction.

"There's..." I hesitated. How to say this without sounding crazy? There was no way. "There's something wrong with your soup," I stammered pathetically, blushing bright red.

"I'll say. It's all over the place." The man across the table mumbled.

"What do you mean?" Mr. Carolla's eyes suddenly shifted from shocked to wary.

"I... I don't know how to explain it. I think..." I was going to sound like a lunatic if I told the truth. But I couldn't think up a good lie. I wished I had a bit of time and privacy so I could see what would happen if I just said it.

"Was it poisoned?" He demanded.

My eyes were suddenly as wide as his had been moments ago.

I nodded weakly. "Yes, I think it was."

Suddenly everyone at the table was trying to discreetly push away their bowls, obviously relieved that I'd made a scene before they could eat. Oh, no! What would this do to Father?

"How did you know? Was it your father?" he asked, almost as if he could read my mind. His now enraged eyes flashed to the back of the room, towards the kitchen.

"No! No, my father would never do that to anyone! He wouldn't even be able to, he has no control over which dish goes to which person, especially at a party!" I was suddenly so worried about Father that I was babbling. "I have no idea how you got bad soup, really!"

He looked up and I saw him catch the eye of a gentleman sitting at the next table. He was an older and heavier man with a mustache, also olive-skinned with black hair and dark eyes. That man eyed me then nodded to Mr. Carolla who gave one quick nod of acknowledgement then looked back at me.

"I thank you for your intervention, Miss." Then he addressed the whole table. "It appears that I am no longer in proper attire for the evening. If you will all excuse me."

He bowed quickly, and then he left.

I looked around at all the faces still staring at me. My eyes dropped down to my soup-splattered dress. Then I sprang away from the table and ran for the door.

I should have known that Dee would follow. She met me out front. I was weeping pathetically as the doorman brought us our jackets.

"Alice..." Dee began, but she didn't seem to know what to say.

"I feel like such an idiot!" I sobbed.

"You're not! Alice, you did the right thing." She sighed. "You just didn't have time to do it very well."

I still felt humiliated, and frightened of what this might mean for Father.

"Do you want to know what I saw?" she asked, timidly.

"I guess so."

"He's not a very good man," she whispered. "He hurts people for money. Or he used to. Now the people who work for him hurt people for money. They send letters to rich people demanding money. If they don't pay... they die. They do other things too, not quite as bad. But I think a lot of it isn't legal."

This revelation frightened me, but didn't surprise me as much as it probably should have. I had sensed that he was hiding something during our brief conversation.

Our taxi arrived and we climbed in and went home.

When Mother greeted us, surprised to see us home so soon, I gave an abridged explanation.

"I spilled soup on my dress so we came home early."

"Oh, dear! Go get changed and I'll fix you something to eat."

"No, thank you, Mother," I answered, dully. "I'm not in the mood for dinner anymore. If it's all right with you I'll just go to bed early."

"Certainly, dear. Whatever you need."

When I climbed into bed I tried not to let myself cry. The humiliation would surely wear off eventually. Things would go back to normal. I only hoped that tonight, for once, I might escape the nightmares.

I wasn't so lucky.


	5. Monster

**October 1921**

My life was almost entirely a nightmare. From the moment my mind had come out of that strange dream-like state I'd been either burning with thirst or killing to satisfy that thirst. I wasn't sure which was more horrible, but I was afraid that it was the burning. If I couldn't control the burn, if soothing the fiery thirst for a few days was more important to me than the entire life of a stranger... I knew what it said about me and I was disgusted with myself for it.

My hunts so far were driven purely by instinct. I just tried to clean up the mess afterwards. My particular talent was very helpful in that respect. If I were about to do some irreparable damage I would know beforehand. Then self-preservation would take over, saving me from the fatal mistake. Or if I was about to miss something in the clean up process I would see the dire consequences and go back to take care of it. Always, it was the visions of the cloaked ones coming to seek and destroy which made me act with prudence.

Who _were_ these annoying and lethal vampires? They seemed to be the food police. Whoever they were I hoped I would never have to meet them in person. They terrified me.

I was hunting as usual in a somewhat remote camping area in Canada, far enough from civilization to not be conspicuous. As I glided through the trees I caught a particularly sweet scent on the wind. This one smelled better than the others, sweeter somehow. I followed the scent in, my better nature receding as I anticipated how delicious this meal would be.

I arrived at to the source of the scent; a small girl, maybe five or six years old. She was huddled against a rock, shivering and crying. Her blonde hair was wet and dirty, sticking to her face. Her trembling lips were blue from the cold.

I registered all this in a tiny fraction of a second before launching at her throat. It happened very fast. She didn't even have time to scream before my teeth crushed against her flesh, her bones crunching under the force of my attack.

Her blood was so very sweet. In the heat of the moment I wondered if it was because of her youth. If all children were so delicious maybe I would seek them out. A delicacy!

There was not much blood in her tiny body, hardly enough to put a dent in my thirst. When I dropped her empty corpse I saw her face again and froze.

Her small face looked peaceful in death. Seeing her long blonde hair, her soft cheeks, her tiny nose, the shape of her mouth, her delicate eyes closed as if in sleep. It touched something in me. I felt an unfamiliar tight sensation in my stomach. An ache in my throat that was not from thirst. My eyes pricked and I felt an urge to blink.

I grimaced and looked away. But I could not escape the wave of remorse that crashed over me, so much more powerful than ever before. I choked out a sob and fell to my knees, clawing at my face. I wanted to erase the image from my memory, but it was forever burned there. I could still see her sweet face behind my eyelids.

Why did she affect me so? Was it because she was a child? Was it her obvious defenselessness? Whatever it was, I had to do something to prevent this from ever happening again.

I wanted to run away, but I couldn't just leave her body there. Not because there was any danger to me, but I somehow felt that returning her body to her family was the right thing to do. I managed to collect myself enough to lift her fragile frame and follow her scent back the direction she'd come. She had wandered far from the hiking trail. It seemed that she'd gone off to look at something, or perhaps she was just playing, and couldn't find her way back. Her path was chaotic for awhile when she must have been searching for familiar territory.

I was close to the trail when I heard a call coming from a distance. Humans. They were searching for her. I would do what I could so that they could find her. I couldn't be sure, but it seemed to me that it would be better to know a loved one was dead, and had died quickly and painlessly, than to wonder if they were lost and frightened and never know if you could have saved them.

I laid her body on the ground. Then I climbed a tree, wrapped my legs around the trunk and heaved down on a thick branch, snapping it off. I dropped to the ground, branch in my arms, and went to lay it over the child's neck, right over the break.

A vision flashed, warning me that I was making a mistake. The humans would notice the crescent-shaped wound on her neck. A wound that looked conspicuously like a bite mark.

_Ugh!_ I felt physically sick at what I had to do. But I couldn't avoid it.

Gingerly, as delicately and respectfully as I could, I rearranged the wound on her neck until it looked more like an accidental gash.

I took one more long look at her face, almost welcoming the pain it brought.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered to her. I laid the heavy branch over her neck.

The girl had a small stuffed rabbit tucked under the ribbon tied at her waist. I took this and carried it to the trail's edge, dropping it where the humans would find it, giving them the clue that would eventually lead them to her body. Then I ran.

I ran far and fast, escaping the human civilization, escaping all traces of human scent.

I wandered in the woods for a long time. Not sure what I was planning to do but afraid to hunt in case something like that happened again. What if next time it was a _baby?_ What if I caught the scent of a pregnant woman while hunting? I didn't even know what would become of an unborn child if that happened.

I had to have a plan. But nothing I thought of was guaranteed to work. Every idea I considered involved getting dangerously close to humans while thirsty to check on my prey before I acted. I needed more advanced warning than that.

Days turned into weeks while I wandered in the icy north and I still had no plan for hunting safely. I wished I could control my talent. So far my visions just happened when they happened, usually as a warning when danger was approaching. But if I could look into my future volitionally, that would be so much more useful. I could see my prey from a safe distance; make sure I was only doing something terrible, not something disgustingly monstrous.

What if I could?

I thought about the little girl. Her delicate eyelashes brushing her cheeks; her mouth, the way her upper lip curved like an infant's; the way she'd looked so innocent and peaceful in death. If I'd not been a monster that night, I might have been able to help her. I could have taken her to her family. She could have been alive right now, with a future ahead of her. If I'd been able to see her before I started hunting I was sure I would have saved her, no matter how good she smelled.

I was pretty far north in Canada by now. I had to be nearing the arctic circle. There were no humans, but I was very thirsty. I felt my willpower deteriorating with every day that passed. It was hard to concentrate at all with thirst so strong. But I had to try.

I decided to start with something I knew was in the future, and also probably the only thing that could hold my attention for any length of time; the beautiful blonde man from my first vision, my very first memory. I knew that he wasn't a man. He was what I was, a vampire. But I couldn't think of a "vampire" without thinking "monster".

I remembered the vision with perfect clarity. He had honey blonde hair, his eyes were dark with thirst, he was tall and muscular but lean. He saw me and seemed wary at first. But his expression changed to wonder when I smiled at him. I approached him and took his hand. He smiled back.

I closed my eyes and re-lived the memory over and over. Who was he? In the vision I seemed happy to see him. Would I meet him soon? And why couldn't I tell where or when this would happen? It was like my occasional visions of the cloaked ones in that way. The place and time was vague, but it had a sense of certainty about it.

I focused on my memory of his face. I felt compelled to comfort him while I examined his scars. There were several on his cheeks and jaw, a noticeable one over his left eyebrow. His throat was so ravaged it looked almost like one massive scar in itself. I started counting only to stop when I'd reached three hundred. I didn't really _want_ to know how many had tried to kill him.

I focused on our initial encounter now. I would be excited, but he would be wary at first. And no wonder, with all those scars he was obviously accustomed to danger. Maybe he thought I was going to hurt him. Would it be easier for him if I wasn't excited at first; if I stuffed all my pent up anticipation inside and played it cool, for his sake, hiding how completely thrilled I was to see him?

Suddenly my memory shifted. Things shimmered, shuffled, changed.

It played back again only this time... I was sitting somewhere, looking in no particular direction and facing away from him. The blonde man approached, not walking toward me but like he was going past me. Then he stiffened and looked at me warily, probably catching my non-human scent.

I looked up at him and smiled politely. But his suspicion only darkened.

"Hello. I'm Alice. I've never seen you here before," I greeted him, casually.

The suspicion and confusion in his eyes didn't let up, he actually took a step back, retreating from me. It was as if he could tell I was putting on an act, hiding what I really felt.

The vision ended.

What was _that?_ I thought I'd just been remembering an old vision, but it had changed when I'd considered doing things differently. It wasn't just a remembered vision, then. I'd called up a real one!

I squealed with excitement and jumped up an down clapping my hands, startling a flock of birds in the tree next to me.

I had to try again, now that I had a clue what I was looking for. I decided it would be best to stick with the original plan. I would be completely honest with him. I wouldn't hide my excitement, but just let things flow naturally.

I focused. I could tell that there was a slightly different feel to the vision than there was to the memory of it. They appeared similar but as I watched it play back I could still remember the altered version from before. Both versions were clear in my mind, but the tenor of the one I was "seeing" was different from the one I remembered, distinguishing it as a vision and not a memory.

Now I needed to try to see something new, something I'd never seen before. Hmm, how could I do that? I had nothing really to start with. So I just concentrated hard, willing myself to see something, anything.

Nothing happened.

I kept trying. Could I see into the next second? The next minute? The next hour?

Nothing.

I stayed in that spot, motionless with concentration, but I couldn't make myself see a single vision.

I was having difficulty concentrating. My thirst was so strong it was nearly unbearable. It distracted me.

After a few frustrating and fruitless hours I decided that I would have to go hunting. I would just have to go and hope for the best. Once my throat wasn't burning, perhaps I would have more success.

I was still focusing when I decided this. The moment I made the decision a new vision flashed before me. It was myself, flying over the ground, tracking my prey.

That was it! My future was driven by the decisions I made. That was why I couldn't see anything before; I hadn't made a decision to _do_ anything yet.

Holding tightly to the vision I sifted through various possibilities. Where could I go? East? West? South? North was out of the question. All I would find up there were geese and maybe an occasional seal or polar bear.

While I was weighing my options my vision shifted, shimmered, flashing between the different outcomes as I explored the possibilities. As I grew more comfortable controlling my extra sense I started going faster. I still felt like I had a tenuous hold on it. As if I would lose it with the slightest distraction. There were so many paths I could take, so many thousands of options ahead of me. There was no way I could possibly consider them all.

Then I stopped. I'd found a promising outcome; a solitary human man in the deep woods. He was twenty miles southeast from my current location. Now that I had an idea of how to use my gift I found it to be very helpful. It would have been difficult to find this human by scent alone from so far away. Unless a particularly strong wind had come by from his direction it would have been nearly impossible. But I knew the path I would take to find him and I took it.

Even though I was relieved that I would be not harming a child, and even though I was delighted that I was learning how to use my gift, a corner of my mind was nagging me. Sure, this man I hunted now was no child, but he had been once. Perhaps he had children of his own who depended on him. Perhaps he had a wife and parents who loved him. Perhaps he was a really decent person.

I was still a monster.


	6. Premonitions

**March 1918**

I'd stayed in bed longer than usual this morning. I felt horrible, but I wasn't ill. Mother and Father both said they didn't blame me for what had happened. And I knew that there wasn't really anything different I could have done. In fact, if I hadn't done anything things would have been worse, a lot worse. If things were this bad with just the rumor that the soup had been poisoned I could only imagine how bad it would have been if someone had _died._

After my little... outburst... at the party, rumors started spreading that the chef at the Hotel Monteleone was poisoning the food. Some claimed he only poisoned criminals, some that he only targeted people he didn't like, and some that he would randomly drop poison in a dish now and then. A lot of people claimed that they didn't believe any of this nonsense. They knew Chef Brandon and he would never sacrifice his reputation in an assassination attempt. But, even so, they no longer ate at the hotel.

There were other rumors, too; rumors about Chef Brandon's lunatic daughter. She showed up in a scandalous black gown then had this fit of hysterics and ran out of the room covered in soup. At least _this_ rumor was true.

Nobody had bothered testing the soup for poison. I was actually glad about that. I would rather be thought of as a lunatic than bring down more undeserved heat on my father. A couple of weeks after the incident Mr. Monteleone told him that, regrettably, he could no longer afford to keep him in his employ. He had promised to do everything in his power to help him find another place to work, though.

I wished there was something I could do to make things better. Maybe I could get a job as a seamstress to help make up for the lack of income. Maybe there was some way I could help Father find another job somewhere, a job just as good as the one he lost or better.

I rolled over. There was light streaming through the window and the bedroom was starting to warm a little. It had to be late in the morning, but nobody bothered to come get me up.

Slowly, I rolled out of bed. I knew I shouldn't be moping. It wasn't helping anything. But I couldn't help feeling like this was all my fault. I decided to go downstairs and see if Mother needed my help with making breakfast, or maybe it was lunchtime by now.

I pulled on my dressing gown and quietly started down the stairs, only to stop a little ways down. I heard voices. Unfamiliar male voices. It was a good thing I hadn't gotten down there dressed like _this!_

I listened harder, trying to hear what they were saying.

"...the hotel wasn't the first time?" A large, deep voice was asking.

"No," Father answered. "She's always seen things, ever since she was small. It's sort of...chaotic. We never know when it will happen. Sometimes she has nightmares. Sometimes you'll be in the middle of a conversation with her and she'll sort of drift off. I'm not sure if she understands it any better than we do."

"How often does she have these... episodes?" an older, professional-sounding voice asked.

There was a long pause.

"It's hard to say," Mother answered. Her voice was so low I could barely make it out.

"Once a week? Once a month?" the older man pressed.

"Several times a day, I'd venture," Father answered.

"You said that the things she sees sometimes actually happen?" the deep voice asked.

"Not always," Mother answered. "Sometimes she seems certain something will happen, but then it doesn't."

"Has she ever tried to hurt herself or someone else?" the older voice asked.

"No! Of course not!" Father snapped angrily.

"Pardon me. I'm merely attempting to be thorough. Has she ever been accidentally put in danger during these episodes?"

Another long pause.

"A few times," Mother answered. "Once she was crossing a street and stopped halfway, just staring off into space. I had to run and grab her so she wouldn't get run over. Another time she was building a fire in the hearth. I came into the room and saw her just sitting there while the edge of her dress caught fire. And another time-"

"That's quite enough ma'am. I think I get the idea," the older gentleman interrupted.

"What kinds of things does she see?" the deep-voiced man asked. "The things that come true?"

"Well, we're not sure exactly what she sees. But, she sometimes seems to know ahead of time if something bad is going to happen to her or someone she loves," Father answered.

Then Mother spoke.

"She knew that we were having another baby before I did when I was expecting Cynthia," she explained. "She can tell when a storm is coming before there is a cloud in the sky. She had a nightmare about the war before it had even started. Once, when she was very young, she pointed out a group of people to me and told me they were going to die. I told her that was a horrible thing to say and how could she know such a thing. She answered that she couldn't see them anymore after that day. Those people were boarding a ship. I read in the papers the next day that their ship sank."

There was another pause.

"Can you help our daughter, doctor?" Father asked, his voice rough with stress.

"It is possible. I have had some success with cases such as these, there are some highly promising experimental procedures which may prove beneficial for her. Your daughter's condition, I believe, is not a very serious one."

"So, you've successfully treated cases like hers before?" Father pressed.

"Yes, frequently. I believe some testing is needed to determine exactly what form of psychosis your daughter suffers from. It is possibly combined with a form of epilepsy, absence seizures, or partial complex seizures. Has her condition progressed to depression?"

I heard someone gasp.

"Lately she hardly comes out of her room," Mother answered. "She doesn't go outside anymore. She and her sister used to do everything together. Now she hasn't yet even come downstairs today."

"I see," the older man replied.

"She's just upset about what happened at the hotel," Father explained. "I lost my job because of that. I've told her that I don't blame her for what happened, but I think she feels responsible."

"Events like that can trigger depression," the older man mused, as if he were agreeing with what Father said. "I believe your daughter is a good candidate for these treatments. I can have my assistant pick her up next week and we'll begin therapy right away."

"Thank you, doctor," Father said. "But we still haven't decided whether or not this is the best option for Mary. And we also have no way, at this time, of paying for the treatment."

"Mr. Brandon," the deep-voiced man spoke, "I think I had better explain my purpose at this meeting. The man your daughter possibly saved was a close personal friend of mine. I was at the hotel that evening and, if I might say so, my friend seemed quite taken with her. Later, when I learned all the particulars of your situation I decided that it was in my power to do a kindness for your family in return. I am here because, if it was determined that your girl needed treatment, I wanted to be able to provide for her. So please, don't let financial concerns deter you from seeking medical care. I will provide whatever is needed."

"Mr. Matranga... That is very generous of you. I can assure you we are most grateful. Still, we need time to discuss this privately."

"I see. That is quite understandable." The older man replied.

"I will be in town for the next few days. Should you decide to have your daughter treated at my hospital you can contact me at the hotel."

My parents saw the two men to the door and it was quiet downstairs for a long time. I sneaked back to my room and sat on the edge of my bed to think over what I'd just heard.

Did I have a medical condition? A psychosis? I hadn't ever thought of it that way before. I supposed it was possible. There wasn't any other logical explanation for the strange visions and nightmares I had.

When I finally went downstairs, fully dressed, Mother and Father didn't say anything to me about their two guests. But I could tell they were distracted. I tried to be more cheerful, more my usual self. I didn't want them to worry. But, of course, I was caught off guard by another vision.

We were all having dinner, in the middle of a pleasant conversation. I was beginning to think that I had eased Mother and Father's worries.

Suddenly I was thinking about something entirely different. Just like before the war, this vision didn't necessarily affect anyone in particular, but it affected everyone. I saw hospitals overflowing with the sick; large single-roomed buildings with hundreds of cots; doctors and nurses moving from cot to cot, taking pulses and temperatures; people walking the streets wearing masks; nurses carrying the dead on litters; churches, theaters, and schools all closed to the public, on their doors were notices warning of a flu pandemic. It felt very certain.

I felt a sharp kick under the table and snapped out of it. I looked over at Dee, but she wasn't looking at me. She seemed to be concentrating hard on her dinner, acting very innocent.

"Are you all right, Mary?" Mother asked.

"Yes, I'm fine. I was just daydreaming, I suppose." I tried to blow it off. She and Father exchanged a concerned look.

That night I heard Mother and Father talking in their room. I couldn't make out what they were saying but I was sure I knew what they were talking about.

There was a timid knock, and then Dee opened the door.

"Alice, are you okay?" she asked.

"I'm okay, Dee." I smiled at her, hoping it looked genuine.

She came into the room and sat on the edge of my bed.

"Alice, I saw... something." She sighed.

"What was it?"

"Mother and Father spoke with some men today," she told me, staring at the floor . "One of them was a doctor. They want to send you to a special hospital because of your visions."

I sighed. "I know."

She looked up at me.

"I heard them talking," I explained.

"What are we going to do?" she asked, frightened.

"I don't know," I told her honestly. "Maybe it's a good thing. Maybe they'll be able to stop the visions I have."

Her eyes got wider as I spoke.

"Alice!" she hissed. "How can you say that? It's not a _disease._"

"Maybe not. But it's not fun, either. It's been years since I've had a good night's sleep. I scare my own parents. And it would be nice to have a conversation with someone without worrying about suddenly drifting off and seeing random things that haven't even happened yet."

"You don't scare me," she challenged. "And you know I don't mind if you see something when we're talking. Besides, what makes you think that this doctor can do anything for you in the first place?"

"He said he's treated people with this kind of condition before. He thinks it's some sort of epilepsy. But if it turns out he's wrong I can just come home. Who knows? If I give it a chance, maybe it will help. Even if it just helps me sleep at night, or if it helps me keep from seeing things when I don't want to. I don't even really mind if I stop seeing things altogether. I think it might be nice to be normal for once."

Dee scowled at me. "I don't know who you are, but you're _not_ my sister."

I scowled back. "What are you talking about?"

"_My_ sister doesn't sit around in bed all morning moping about something she couldn't help in the first place. _My_ sister doesn't lie to me about being okay when something is wrong. _My_ sister loves that she can see things before they happen and would _hate_ to be normal. And _my_ sister wouldn't go off to get medical treatment when she knows there's nothing wrong with her!"

I had to smile at her little rant. Dee had a bit of a temper.

"I'm sorry, Dee. I suppose haven't been myself lately. I promise I'll really give it some thought before I agree to anything. Okay?"

She frowned and her eyes narrowed. She didn't like my answer, but she wouldn't press the issue further.

She hugged me goodnight and went to her own room.

I slept restlessly. My night was filled with the images of the war mingled with new images of the flu pandemic I'd seen at dinner. Sick people, injured people, dying people. I was starting to get used to it.

Then it changed. It was so sudden, like switching on an electric light. I had no idea what it was. But it was something big, something drastic. There was almost a physical jolt through my body. Like jumping naked into an ice-cold stream on a hot day.

I woke up with a start, gasping for air. I was covered in sweat, my heart was racing and I was trembling violently.

My bedroom door burst open and Mother rushed in. I must have been screaming again.

"Mary! Mary, are you all right?" She sat on my bed and stroked my face.

I couldn't answer her; I was still gasping for air and trembling. I just clutched her, held her tight for comfort.

When I could finally breathe I still couldn't answer. My gasps had turned to sobs. I didn't know what I had seen, or if it was even really a vision like the others. But it was the worst thing I had ever experienced.

Mother held and rocked me, stroking my hair. My trembling faded and my sobs quieted. I opened my eyes and saw Dee in the doorway. She didn't look frightened or reproachful like she had last night. She just looked sad.

"What's the matter, Mary?" Mother asked. "Was it another nightmare?"

Mother had never asked me about my nightmares before.

I shook my head.

"I don't know. I can't explain. There aren't words for it."

"It was bad?" Her brow furrowed with concern.

I nodded.

"But it's over now."

I nodded again.

She stroked my face and gazed into my eyes. "I think your father and I would like to talk to you about something. So get ready and come down to breakfast, okay?"

I was still trembling a little bit. For some reason, her words sent a fresh shiver down my spine.

"Okay." I already knew what we would be talking about.

**AN: Thanks for reading! Please leave a review if you've enjoyed it so far or have** **any questions, suggestions or recommendations. ****If anyone wants to know why Alice had her strange new nightmare, just ask me in a review and I'll pm the answer to you. ;)**


	7. The Calling

**April 1928**

I was lying on the branch of a tall hemlock deep in the woods of northern Montana. It was a sunny day so I had to wait until twilight to hunt. When the sun set I would be able to move freely in close proximity to humans without worrying about making the costly mistake of being seen glimmering in the light. The first time I experienced that phenomenon I'd been delighted; my skin was so beautiful in the sun. But the delight quickly wore off when I realized what limitations it put on my freedom.

It had been nearly three weeks since my last hunt and my thirst was becoming unmanageable. I carefully controlled my thoughts so I wouldn't be thinking about my potential victims. Thinking about quenching my thirst only made it worse. Instead I tried to work out what I would do this time to "clean up my mess". Perhaps a rock slide? That took a lot of fabrication, and wasted a lot of blood if I was going to make it convincing. A bear attack? That took less fabrication, but would waste a lot more blood. Someone was bound to get suspicious if a bear supposedly mauled my victim but the blood just somehow disappeared.

Ugh! I groaned and balled my fists over my eyes. Thinking about all that hypothetical blood was making my throat burn.

It was so much easier when someone could just vanish - get lost in the woods never to be found again. But if that happened too frequently the humans would start asking questions, and that could get very dangerous.

I didn't want to feed on humans... on _people_. I kept reminding myself that that's what they were - people. Thinking of them as "humans" made them seem so different, insignificant, like animals. All the vampires I'd encountered so far considered them like that. Humans were like cattle. To think of them as people only led to feeling unnecessarily guilty. Like naming your pet pig only to turn it into bacon the next morning.

But I remembered that when I woke to this new life I'd felt human for those first few moments. I remembered the horror I'd felt after I'd fed for the first time... I didn't want to lose that. It was a part of who I was before I could remember. I had been human then.

If only they _were_ animals; life would be so much easier.

I decided to watch the blonde man again - Jasper, I'd learned his name was - to pass the time. He was even less satisfied with his life than I was with mine.

Jasper lived in the south and was one of the key members of a very violent coven that claimed a large territory in southern Texas. They lived very differently than I did. His was a life of constant war. I saw that it was his job to train up strong new vampires to fight for his leader and creator, Maria. They would make war with others for reasons I couldn't quite fathom, or fight off attacks launched at them from others. About once a year the young ones were destroyed and replaced by fresh recruits, though I wasn't exactly sure why.

I could see how much this was hurting Jasper. He couldn't stand the life he was leading and I ached for his pain. Even when I saw visions of him taking the young ones aside, one by one, to destroy them, I felt only sorrow. Sorrow for the ones he was destroying and sorrow for his suffering as well.

I wished there was something I could do to help, but I had no answers. And I saw that if I tried to go to him now it wouldn't go well. He wouldn't trust me.

I was impatient to meet him, but I didn't see that happening anytime soon. In my vision I couldn't see where or when our first encounter would happen. Many decisions had to be made still. I was certain that he would eventually leave his violent life, though I didn't know how or when. Maybe that was the key decision I was waiting for.

I sighed inwardly. When would I finally have the perspective of an immortal? Ten years, fifty years? However long I would be waiting for him seemed like an eternity. Of course I'd only been immortal for a little over seven years now. Seven years of waiting and wandering alone. It felt like a long time already. Perhaps on looking back, a century from now, it would seem like only an instant.

I idly wondered what our lives would be like then, after we met. I felt such a strong connection to him already. Would he feel that for me, too? Would we fall in love? Would we always be together?

Thinking about this gave me an idea. I decided to look ahead and see what would happen. I was a little surprised at myself that I hadn't done this earlier. I had been so focused on our first meeting and looking for what would finally bring us together that I hadn't thought, until now, to look at what would happen after.

It was very easy to see this. Looking into the future was as easy as turning my head to look in another direction. Jasper and I would travel west and north. Where exactly we would go wasn't certain. Some paths took us into snowy mountains, some out to the green coast, some to icy windswept plains.

But then I saw something that made me pause and focus. We were meeting others of our own kind; a male and a female. They were obviously vampires, but so much more civilized than the others I'd seen. I was shocked when I saw that they had a house. Actually, they probably had several houses. Different paths we might take, different decisions they might make, brought us to many different possible meeting places, but they were always in a house. They were also wearing clean, pressed clothes. The female had well-styled long brown hair. And even more unusual... they both had _yellow_ eyes. How strange! I'd seen my own bright red eyes when I was new. I'd seen eyes black with thirst. And I'd seen the darker burgundy eyes of mature vampires. But I'd never seen this before. Were they a different kind of vampire altogether?

They were surprised to see us, that was obvious, but they were not aggressive at all. They didn't even ask us to leave their territory.

I focused harder, seeing if I could catch any bits of conversation. Hearing anything this far in the future was difficult, so many things could change. But surely I could at least catch their names.

The male introduced himself as Carlisle. His mate - he called her his "wife" - was Esme. There might be others living with them. In some visions it was only one other male. His name was Edward, but he wasn't very firmly there. It was as if he might or might not be with them at that time. In one vision there were four more females and another male; Tanya, Kate, Carmen and Irina were the females. The other male was Eleazar.

I was completely stunned at the sheer numbers in that particular house. Seven! Possibly eight. But even just seven vampires all living together! How was that possible? Especially in such a remote area! The house in that particular vision was obviously far from any large city; in the snowy north near the western coast. There was an enormous white mountain nearby. It had to be out near Juneau or somewhere insanely remote like that. And these were most certainly not young vampires.

In Jasper's coven the numbers were high, but almost all of them were young, created for the sole purpose of fighting. And when their usefulness was at an end, so too would be their lives. But this group didn't seem to be like that at all. They were all mature and lived together peacefully.

I was wildly curious. And since I had a reference point to go from I wanted to know more about these vampires whom Jasper and I would someday meet.

I traced Carlisle's timeline backwards. It was a little difficult, I wasn't as attuned to him as I was to Jasper. He and Esme did move around, but not as much as normal vampires did. It seemed they could spend ten years, maybe even longer, in one place. They had to have at least five permanent homes scattered throughout the country, probably more. How did they do it?

I focused closer to the present time. Seeing the near future meant I could see more detail, and I needed details to figure out how these strange ones worked. I concentrated on Carlisle, skimming around just a few weeks into the future and looking for anything that could tell me where they were and what they were up to. There were a lot of things I didn't understand, things that seemed out of context or just plain wrong. I saw Carlisle with a bloody body. That made sense. But at the same time he was surrounded by living humans and none of them were frightened of him. That did not make sense. I saw Esme walking down a city block at a mind-numbingly slow pace. She went into a store and discussed wallpaper with a salesperson. How bizarre! I couldn't really get a fix on Edward. His future seemed to be shifting around a lot. But I finally gathered enough information to figure out where they were. They were in New York. It looked like they were somewhere in Rochester.

I still had a while before twilight, so I decided to close my eyes and eavesdrop. I focused on a split second to the future and watched. The vision was very clear, almost as if I was in the room with them: a fly on the wall. They were standing around a large wooden table in a dining room, having what seemed to be a serious discussion.

"I might be able to actually do some good out there, Carlisle," Edward was saying. He was finally clear in my vision. I was experienced with my gift enough to know what this meant. He was with them now but wasn't decided about whether or not he would be with them in a week or two.

"Perhaps," Carlisle answered. "I will admit that some good may possibly come of it for the humans. If you follow through with your plan and are very careful you may save more lives than you take. But it is for _your_ sake that I'm concerned. No matter how justified the murders are, they are still murders. You will have that riding on your conscience forever. It is a heavy burden to bear, one I wish you would not choose to take up."

Edward frowned at this. "I've been thinking about this for a long time, Carlisle..."

Carlisle raised an eyebrow and Edward half smiled in response.

"Okay, I've been thinking about it for the past nine years at least. These people, the ones I intend to stop, they're barely more human than I am. How could I regret ridding the world of such... such monsters? Before you changed me I was prepared to head off to war. I was prepared to kill people to make the world a better, safer place. Only those people probably didn't deserve to die. And I am now able to know for certain that I will never harm an innocent. Surely this is safer for my conscience than the war would have been."

Carlisle looked sad. He looked over at Esme for a moment, and then looked back at Edward.

"I know," Edward said, as if he was answering a comment from Carlisle.

Had I missed something? I couldn't look again because the moment had already passed, but my memory was perfect. Nobody had said a word.

"I've thought of that, too," Edward continued.

"Edward... what?" Esme asked, reaching out and placing her hand on his arm. So, it seemed I wasn't the only one out of the loop here. There was something strange going on. Maybe Carlisle could communicate without words when he wanted to? Or maybe Edward could know his thoughts? I guessed it was possible. It would probably be less strange than what I was doing at this very moment: eavesdropping on their family life from thousands of miles away by looking into the future.

"It means I can't stay," Edward answered her. "I won't put you two in jeopardy. I'll have to cover a lot of territory to avoid raising alarm. Also, I won't be able to mingle with the townsfolk when my eyes are red with human blood again."

For two full seconds Esme was frozen with a shocked, pained expression. That gave me some time to process what I'd just heard.

Things were falling into place now. Edward was talking about leaving Carlisle and Esme so that he could hunt humans. This fact was confirmed when he mentioned his eyes being "red with human blood again". That meant that the three of them hadn't been hunting humans at all. That was why their eyes were yellow instead of the deep burgundy I'd come to expect. So what were they doing? Were they abstaining entirely? I'd thought that was impossible. They would grow weak and eventually, I imagined, the thirst would drive them mad. But what other explanation was there? I would find out soon enough. Esme was coming out of shock and the drama was about to unfold some more.

"Edward, no! Don't leave us! You have to stay! You are a part of this family. You know you're like a son to me, I can't bear it if you leave," she begged, clinging to his arm as though she would prevent him from leaving by force if necessary.

"I know you love me, Mom. And you, too Carlisle. You have both been wonderful parents. I couldn't have asked for better."

They just looked at him, both with anguish in their eyes. He nodded slowly.

"You won't be lonely anymore. You have each other now," he continued, looking first at Carlisle, then at Esme. Was he answering unspoken thoughts? Maybe that's what he had been referring to when he spoke of being "able to know for certain" that he wouldn't hunt an innocent. He must be a mind reader.

In that moment his future firmed up in my vision. It had been vague before, but now I could see that he wasn't going to be with them any longer. He'd made the decision to leave.

Esme frowned. "It's not the same, Edward."

"I'll visit when I can."

Carlisle clapped a hand on Edward's shoulder and looked him seriously in the eyes. He must have seen the resolve there. His face grew even sadder.

"We'll miss you, son. Come home when you're ready. You'll know where to find us, and you will always be welcome."

Edward's future wavered for a moment. Carlisle's words had moved him and he lost a bit of his resolve. Then it cleared again. He nodded to Carlisle, kissed Esme on the forehead, and left.

I stopped watching then. The scene in the house was painful. Everyone, it seemed, was dealing with pain right now.

I checked in on Jasper briefly; he was stalking his next meal and I didn't want to watch that.

That reminded me, though, that there was one vitally interesting enigma that had yet to be solved regarding Carlisle's coven. How did they live in such close proximity with humans and yet not feed on them? The temptation must be too much to bear and I couldn't imagine lasting more than a month before losing all self-control.

So I went back to watching Carlisle. He was holding Esme while she choked out tearless sobs into his chest. They were consoling each other after Edward's defection. I slowly looked a little further into the future, skimming over boring parts and parts they probably didn't want me to see. The next morning Carlisle would change his clothes, put on a white coat, and leave the house. He would walk down the street at a human pace, out in the open in the middle of the day. It was a cloudy day, but still this surprised me. He would enter a large building, greeting others there by name. They would greet him back and seem happy to see him. It took me longer than it should have to realize where he was, because it just didn't make any sense. Why would a vampire go to a hospital? It looked, in fact, as though he worked there... as a doctor.

This just kept getting better and better!

He would be surrounded on all sides by sick, injured and bleeding humans. But it didn't seem to bother him at all. Was this where he got his blood? Was he a good doctor for most of these humans but every now and then had a "tragic accident"? That didn't seem fitting with what I'd learned about his character so far.

I skimmed further ahead. He would treat all his patients without doing them any harm, go home to his wife and the next morning go right back to the hospital. The next day he'd do it all over again. Day after day it was pretty much the same thing. Even when a man would come in with his side shredded from a car accident. This was the vision from before that I hadn't understood. Carlisle with a broken, bleeding man and surrounded by other doctors and hospital staff. Seeing it made my throat burst into flames. All that blood! But Carlisle maintained his perfect self-discipline throughout and would even be able to save the man's life.

By the end of the week his eyes would grow dark with thirst. That weekend, instead of going to the hospital, he'd sneak out in the night, racing over rooftops heading south.

Ah, finally something I understood. He was thirsty; he would hunt. He was a vampire and that was what vampires did.

Before long he would be in a wilderness far from the city. He'd stop and close his eyes, inhaling deeply. I watched intently. I couldn't imagine that there would be any humans so far from civilization. This vision wasn't quite as clear, because this would happen in about a week. He might stand there for a brief moment; he might hesitate. He might move to a different location. But eventually his eyes would open and he would shift into a crouch. He would stalk something. And then he would ambush... a deer? A black bear? A cougar? There were dozens of different outcomes. But every single one resulted in Carlisle hunting some sort of _animal_ instead of a human.

I paused, reflecting on an image of Carlisle, crouching over a white tailed buck, his mouth pressed over it's jugular, drinking deeply. I considered that image for a long time, wondering what it might signify. Then took a deep breath and opened my eyes, coming out of a very long trance. I noticed that twilight had already passed and I was laying on a tree branch in the dark.

I sat up and leaned against the trunk, not because I was uncomfortable, but because I thought that maybe a different perspective on my surroundings might help me gain perspective on what I had just seen.

Vampires hunting animals... It seemed so bizarre. But that would explain everything. This was how they could stay in one place for so long. This was why they didn't grow weak and mad with thirst. Maybe this was why their eyes were gold and not red. And, maybe, this was why they weren't depressed the way Jasper and I were. Maybe this is what made them a family instead of a coven. Maybe this is how, sometime in the far future, we could all live together peacefully.

When I added that last piece to the puzzle even more of it made sense. Jasper and I would adopt this strange way of life. Then, someday, we would join this unusual coven... this _family._ We would be free of the depression that comes with eating people and having a conscience at the same time. And we would be together.

I felt a surge of hope when I realized this, and the weight of depression lifting. Even more than that I felt joy knowing that this hope applied to Jasper, too. He didn't know it yet, but someday he would be free.

I laughed to myself out of pure joy and got to my feet. I was thirsty and it was time to hunt.

I smiled conspiratorially to myself. Perhaps there were some deer nearby?


	8. Inevitable

March 1918

Things had gotten worse. After that first horrible nightmare - or was "episode" a better word? - I continued having them several times a night. And the suffering wasn't just at night anymore, either. During the daytime I had this strange feeling. I felt like something big was coming, but I couldn't tell what it was. It was a mindless, nameless, intense sensation.

I saw myself going to the hospital. That was the only thing that was certain. No matter what I did I would end up going to that hospital. It was like the decision wasn't up to me, even though Mother and Father assured me it was. They promised that if I didn't want to go I didn't have to.

But, when I woke that morning after the nightmare it was already firmly established. It wasn't up to me anymore. I doubted it ever really had been. So I had to agree to go. It was the only way to maintain any semblance of control. If I refused, then someone or something would force me, and that was not the kind of situation I wanted to be in.

It was as though I was running full tilt down a very steep hill. Waiting for me at the bottom of the hill was a cliff. I couldn't stop or slow down or I'd lose control and start falling. So the only option I had was to run headlong down the hill until I ended up jumping off the cliff. I only hoped it was a short drop.

I couldn't see what would happen at the hospital. I couldn't really even get a good look at the building. I could only tell it was a large imposing structure. It frightened me.

And I certainly couldn't tell what would go on there. Not even enough to be sure if going there would be a good thing or a bad thing. I had two hypotheses about why my extra sense was blinded after my arrival at the hospital

My first hypothesis was that once I got there the treatments would work. If the treatments worked I would stop seeing the future. So maybe that was why I couldn't see anymore after that. My second hypothesis - the one that seemed to make better logical sense - was that I would die at the hospital shortly after arriving, so I didn't have a future to see anymore after that.

I had to admit that either eventuality was frightening to me. Dee had been right. I didn't really want to be normal. I liked being able to sense what was coming. Now that it was possibly going to be taken from me, I knew that I didn't want that at all.

But I had no choice. I had to agree to go. If I didn't I would be taken as a prisoner.

I had been packing my luggage in silence while Dee sat on my bed, crying.

I was trying to not think about what I was doing. Trying to ignore how much this was hurting my sister. Trying not to think about what might happen to me. As a distraction I checked on the weather, wanting to know at least something about what the day would bring. I saw a vision of the sun coming out later. That would be nice. Maybe it would help my family feel a little better. I tried to see what would happen on my journey to the hospital and suddenly everything went blank.

I couldn't see it, not at all. It was worse than my previous, vague visions of the hospital. It was like the vision simply didn't exist.

I went back to checking the weather and that was perfectly clear: the sun breaking through the clouds and streaming in through our front window. It was just my own future that had suddenly vanished. I tried to put it out of my mind and concentrate on packing. But I couldn't help wondering what it meant.

Dee continued crying, as I finished filling my bag. Luckily, she hadn't noticed my sudden distraction.

"You know I'll come back as soon as I can," I assured her.

"I'm afraid, Alice. I don't trust that doctor. What if they hurt you?" she sniffled.

"You never even met the doctor, Dee. How can you not trust him?" She needed close proximity to use her gift on a person. So even though she saw the doctor in Mother and Father's past, she couldn't see the doctor's past unless she was in the room with him.

She glared at me. "I just don't. It's too dangerous, I don't think you should go."

I sighed. Time to reveal a little more truth.

"I don't think I really have a choice anymore, Dee," I told her softly. "I would rather not go. But if I don't agree to, I will anyway. Someone will make me."

Her eyes got wider as I spoke.

"What? Mother and Father wouldn't make you if you didn't want to go!"

I shrugged. "Maybe not. But someone will. And I'd rather go of my own free will than be dragged there against it."

"Alice! Don't you see? This just proves that it is dangerous! Why would they force you to go there if their intentions are good?"

"It doesn't make any difference. My options are the same. Go against my will or go willingly. I think it's better to go willingly, that way maybe I still have some control of the situation."

Her eyes got panicky. "We should run! Let's just get out of here. You already have a bag packed. I'll put some of my things in there, too, and we can sneak out."

I thought about that for a minute. Dee saw that I was concentrating and gave me time to really look into it. I concentrated hard. It was vague and uncertain but I could see it. For a moment I was relieved that I could still see my future, it was just the trip to the hospital I couldn't see. Then I focused on what this new vision showed me. It wasn't promising. I was pretty sure we didn't have a good future on the run. We wouldn't have access to food. We'd need a place to sleep. We would be desperate after a while, willing to do anything to have our basic needs met.

That wouldn't work. I couldn't let something like that happen to Dee. But maybe on my own...I looked into that. If I ditched Dee and ran away by myself...it wouldn't be much different. And eventually something would happen. I would be captured and forced to go...to the hospital.

I sighed. "It won't work, Dee. Someone will find us and I'll be taken there anyway. And I also don't like what I see happening to you. You stay here with Mother and Father. I can handle myself. If I have to, I'll just pretend that the treatment worked. If I'm normal then they'll have no reason to keep me, right?"

Dee just looked at me with a tortured expression. Her cheeks were wet with tears and her lower lip quivered. I embraced her, kissing her hair, and she burst into sobs again.

"It'll be okay," I assured her. "You worry too much."

"Stop trying to pretend like this is no big deal, Alice." she sniffed. Her anger wasn't very impressive when she was crying. "Promise me!"

"Promise you what?"

"Promise me that you'll come home. I want to know that you see it, for sure!"

I had to stop myself from grimacing at the request.

"I don't know exactly when I'll be back. Things are a little...unsure right now. But I told you I would come home as soon as I am able to. I promise that."

Dee looked suspicious of my response, but just then we heard a knock at the door and I knew it was time. I kissed Dee on the cheek and gave her a reassuring smile.

"Come on," I told her. "It's time for me to go."

She shook her head, looking away.

"I'll be down in a minute," she whispered.

I hesitated, but decided to give her a moment. I locked my trunk and lugged it downstairs. Dee stayed in my room, probably trying to compose herself before coming down for goodbyes.

"Here, let me grab that for you," Father said when he saw me struggling with my luggage. "Mary, this is Mr. Dwight. He's here to escort you to the hospital."

Father gestured to a young man standing just inside the door. I gasped when I saw him. His shoulder-length hair was wavy and jet-black. His eyes were dark and brooding. He was standing very still in a pose that seemed rather uninterested, bored even, but something about him seemed threatening to me. He was also extremely handsome. Probably the most handsome man I'd ever seen in my life. Still, I felt so intimidated by him I couldn't bring myself to look directly into his face. None of this was the reason I'd gasped when I saw him, though. I gasped because when I looked at him, it was like looking into a void. I felt off balance. I couldn't see. Suddenly, standing in this room with a stranger, I couldn't feel my extra sense at all.

A mere second had passed. Father was still reaching to take my trunk from me.

"Alaric Dwight," the strange man introduced himself. "I'm pleased to meet you, Miss Brandon." His voice was rich and smooth. But he didn't really seem pleased to meet me at all. If anything, it seemed that he was enduring some sort of unpleasant chore by coming here. The sound of his deep voice sent a small shiver down my spine.

Automatically, I reached my hand out to shake his. But instead of taking my hand he reached for my trunk.

"Allow me," he murmured. He took the trunk from Father, lifting it with ease in one hand though I'd barely been able to manage it with two. He moved with unexpected grace out the door leaving me alone with my parents.

The moment he left I felt more normal, not completely, but a little better. Like my extra sense was beginning to return. I was still stunned from the experience. It probably showed on my face.

"Don't worry," Father assured me. "We'll come by to visit you soon. And you can write letters and tell us everything that happens."

"Oh, Mary!" Mother cried. She caught me up in a strong embrace. "It won't be the same around here without you."

She released me and looked around, curiously. "Where's Cynthia?"

Just then we heard the creak of the stairs as Dee came to join us. Her face was dry, but her eyes were red and swollen from crying. I felt myself choke up. I hated what this was doing to her.

She saw me standing by the open door without my trunk and ran to me, hugging me tightly.

"Please, Alice?" she whispered in my ear. "Please stay."

"I can't, Dee," I whispered back. "You know I would if I could. I'll come home as soon as I can. I promise."

She let me go then and I saw fresh tears on her cheeks. I brushed them away.

"I'll miss you," I told her.

"I'll miss you, too."

"If you're ready, Miss Brandon..." I jumped a little when the voice startled me from behind.

"I'm sorry..." he said more softly. "The automobile is ready. We can be on our way." I couldn't be sure, because I couldn't really look him in the eye, but I thought Mr. Dwight looked a little anxious. It could have just been me projecting my feelings onto him, though. The strange sensation of looking into a void was back.

I gazed longingly at my family again. Mother and Father looked sad. So did Dee, but she also looked perplexed. She was gazing at Mr. Dwight with a puzzled expression. Huh, maybe she couldn't see him either? How curious.

I told them all goodbye one last time and walked out into the muted light of the cloudy day with Mr. Dwight. The last thing I saw before getting in the car was the three of them standing in the doorway, looking as wretched as I felt as they watched me leave. Mr. Dwight closed the door after me.


	9. First Taste

******_Author's Note: I'm so grateful for all the reviews and favorites! You guys are great! I appreciate every single one. Vampire Alice is beginning to find her place in the world in this chapter. Enjoy! :)  
><em>**

**April 1928**

Eyes closed in concentration, I scanned the future through various routes I might take on my hunting trip. I really wanted this to work, and running into a stray human while hunting would surely spoil things. Fortunately there weren't many humans nearby.

I found a promising path and took it, ghosting north-east, far from signs of civilization. I soon found what I was looking for; a small herd of white-tailed bucks grazing in a meadow. Their antlers were still velvet and small this time of year.

The crosswind breeze meant the deer were neither upwind nor downwind from me. If I was going to go about this hunt the usual way I would go downwind to catch their scent and let it pull me in for the kill. But I was too excited to postpone it any longer. It wasn't as if I needed to find them by scent. There was no real need to stalk this prey either. There was no way they could outrun me or fight me off.

I crouched for an instant, focusing on the largest buck, concentrating on the hot spot on his neck where I could see the blood pulsing beneath the surface.

Three seconds was all it took. Three seconds for me to launch myself out of the tree, fly through the brush, streak across the meadow, tackle the unsuspecting buck, and snap it's neck. But when I took my next breath...

_Ewww!_

The rest of the herd startled, turned tail, and bolted from the meadow. The buck I'd dispatched was lying in my lap, neck broken and paralyzed, but it's heart was still beating.

I leaned towards it and sniffed. Ugh, it was so... wrong! It smelled like... a zoo! Like the way a child's hands smelled when they'd been petting filthy goats with sweaty fingers. How could I drink, that?

I sat for a moment with the dying buck in my lap and weighed my options.

I had three choices, it seemed. I could either hunt humans, not hunt at all, or hunt animals. I could easily see what would happen if I attempted these paths. It was obvious what would happen if I continued to hunt humans. It had already been happening. My craving for human blood would at times be satisfied, but I would always be dealing with the ever-growing weight of guilt. I would continue to be a murderer. I would never be able to join Carlisle's family. That much was plain. Only those that had given up hunting people could join them.

I had tried not hunting as often. But I'd never tried not hunting at all. I considered that. With the unappetizing odor of the animal in my lap it actually seemed a viable option at the moment. Could I leave the animal here, run away, and never drink blood again?

I saw myself leaving. I would wander far from humans. My eyes would turn utterly black, ringed with dark bruise-like circles. I would grow weaker. I saw myself beginning to hunt, only to break off before catching any scent, like my resolve was slipping. Then I'd wander farther north, into the arctic where very few humans ever ventured. After a while... I would snap. I would hunt, it was inevitable. Eventually some human or some animal would venture too close and at that point I would have no choice.

So I would not succeed. And that option also would mean that I wouldn't be able to find Jasper or join Carlisle's coven. So complete abstinence was not a viable alternative.

That only left me with option three. Could I give up satisfying my desire for human blood? Could I exist for the rest of eternity on animals?

I sniffed the buck again - hoping that my ruminating might have changed the way it smelled to me - and groaned in disgust.

I took a breath to settle myself and leaned in for my meal.

Once I began drinking it was a little easier. Still not one hundredth as good as human blood, but it was satisfying to be drinking something hot, thick and wet. Feeling the animal's heartbeat also made it easier. I just had to try not to smell or taste the blood. That's what put me off.

When the animal was finished I tossed aside its drained carcass. My thirst was more manageable, but not really satisfied. That was odd. Was I going to have to hunt again? That buck had to have at least as much blood in it as a large human. Probably more. And it had been years since I'd needed more than one human to satisfy my thirst. Maybe it took more animal blood to do the job?

I growled in irritation, and then isolated the scent of one of the other bucks. I tracked it's escape path, following it out of the meadow and into the woods. It had run a good distance, for a deer, before slowing to a walk. I must have really terrified it.

I heard the sound of its panting and the thudding of its heart as I drew closer. I instinctively maneuvered downwind. Thinking that if I let myself hunt naturally maybe it would be easier to drink the stinking blood.

The animal was cowering behind a patch of bushes, panting heavily but it's head was erect, ears swiveling and eyes darting, wary of danger. A slight breeze washed it's scent over my face and my nose wrinkled in disgust. Ugh, I certainly hoped it was just an acquired taste.

I launched myself at it, catching it's head as I leapt over it's body and deftly snapping it's neck as I landed. I didn't hesitate this time. I pressed my teeth to it's throat and began drinking immediately. Running on instinct did make it easier.

It only took me a few minutes to drain it's body. When I was finished I stood, wiping some smeared blood from my face. Why did I still feel thirsty? Sure the burning in my throat wasn't as bad. And the empty feeling wasn't as noticeable. But I still craved blood! How many stinking deer would it take?

I tracked down the rest of the herd. Five more times I hunted. Five more times I took down a full grown buck and drank every drop of blood from it's body.

When I finished the last one I tossed it aside, disgusted. I felt full. I felt the warmth of the animal blood flowing throughout my body, from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. I could almost feel the blood sloshing around inside of me. I wondered how much more blood I could cram into myself before something burst. But I still felt thirsty!

True, it wasn't the all-consuming scorching thirst I'd experienced when I was new. It wasn't even as bad as the "normal" thirst I experienced when going a week or two without feeding on people. But I was used to being entirely free of the burn for a while after hunting. Was this normal?

I had to laugh at myself, then. Here I was, a precognitive vampire in the woods drinking the blood of deer and asking herself if it was normal.

What did I expect? If it was easy then probably all vampires would hunt this way. If it meant that I didn't have to kill people, if it meant that my eyes would no longer glow bright red, if it meant that Jasper and I could have a future together with Carlisle's family, then it would be worth it.

It had to be.

**AN: As always, reviews are highly encouraged. If you are enjoying this story, let me know, I'd love to read it. If there's something you think ought to be different _please_ review and tell me!**


	10. The Drive

**March 1918**

Mr. Dwight opened the driver's side door. I felt a fresh wave of anxiety as he lowered himself into the driver's seat next to me, but I didn't understand why.

Was it because sitting here, right next to him, I couldn't even feel my extra sense? No, that wasn't really it. It wasn't because he was incredibly handsome, either. There was nothing frightening about that; intimidating maybe, but not frightening. Was it because he represented the hospital? The uncertain, terrifying future? Maybe.

It was silly to give in to the fear. Still, I was compelled to edge away from him in the forced proximity of the car. I felt my heart pounding faster than usual in my chest.

_Calm down!_ I told myself. It didn't work. I decided to strike up a conversation as a distraction.

"What do you do at the hospital?" I asked.

His eyes flashed to my face.

"I'm Dr. Gorton's assistant." he answered. I'd already known that much, except for the doctor's name. And he didn't seem to be willing to volunteer any more information than that.

"So do you usually pick up patients?"

He flinched a little at my question and glanced at the sky. "No, not usually. Most patients are brought in by their families." We were on the main road now and he started driving faster. We were going nearly forty miles per hour and the ride was getting a little bumpy. His eyes flickered to the sky again.

"Are we in a hurry?" I asked, a little irritated at the jostling but still too intimidated to openly complain.

He gritted his teeth. "I'm concerned that it may rain before we reach the... hospital. There's a good deal of unpaved road on our route it and it's an unpleasant drive when muddy."

"Well, you don't need to worry about that," I answered brightly. That explained why he kept looking up at the clouds. "It won't rain today. In fact the sun will be out soon."

His head whipped around and he stared at me. I was a little worried because we were still barreling down the road at almost forty-five miles per hour. But his dark eyes burning into mine terrified me more. I felt the blood drain from my face.

"What? Can you know that?"

I nodded meekly. "I... I thought you would know. That's why I'm going to the hospital. I see things in the future. Sometimes they happen. The doctor said he had a treatment for me."

"Sometimes?" There was no escaping from the intensity of his gaze.

"It's not as certain with people. The weather is easy, though. I saw that this morning. The sun will be out around noon."

He groaned and looked away, trying to coax even more speed out of the straining engine.

"What's the matter?"

"I need to get back!" he snapped, harshly.

"I don't understand - " He looked at me again and the words stuck in my throat.

"How does it work? Can you see things when you want to?" He wasn't speaking in the soft tones he'd used in the house anymore. His voice was hard, stressed, and it frightened me.

I nodded. "Usually."

"Can you see when, exactly, the sun will be out? How much time we have before then?"

This was getting really weird. The strangeness of the request muted my fear a little and I was able to answer him with a semblance of calm.

"I can't now." I shook my head.

"Why not?" he snapped, gazing at the sky again.

I shrank away from the anger in his voice.

"I don't know. I can't see things near you. That's never happened to me before. I can't even feel my extra sense now. It's like you're blocking it."

He turned and stared at me again, with anxious, incredulous eyes. He took a deep breath and composed his features, but his dark eyes were still burning with anxiety. After a few moments he spoke again, using the soft, gentle voice from in the house.

"Miss Brandon. I know this is very untoward of me. But I must ask you to try to remember, if you can. Did you see anything that might have given you a more specific time when the sun would shine?" His voice became very smooth and soothing, like warm butter. "Please, try to remember. It is of the utmost importance."

My heart was still racing and it took a minute for me to process his request. Once I put all the words in the right order in my mind and finally made them make sense I decided... why not?

I closed my eyes and tried to recall anything that might help. The vision had been from the perspective of the living room window. The cloudy day suddenly lightened, then warm yellow sunshine streamed in. I hadn't seen the clock on the mantelpiece in my vision. Even if I had I probably wouldn't have remembered what time it showed. But I had noticed some things that might help.

"Looking from our living room window, the sun will just be touching the upper branches of the old oak out front. The sunbeams through the window will reach about three inches beyond the chaise under the sill."

He gazed at me with real interest for a moment, as if he was impressed. Then his expression grew very dark and he turned to stare out the windshield. He was silent, brooding for a long time.

"That's the best I can do," I told him, apologetically.

"You did well," he said, but his voice was seething with anger. He still didn't slow the car.

"Then what's the matter?"

"Nothing!" he spat.

That got my back up.

"What's the problem? So what if the sun comes out? It's not like it'll kill you!"

I'd expected him to respond to my anger. But he just stared ahead unmoving, his expression blank.

"No, it won't kill me," he murmured, as if to himself.

In the silence that followed he seemed more intimidating. He was so still, except for the movements necessary to drive the car. His eyes were very dark; I'd noticed that, when he was interrogating me earlier. He had dark purple circles under them, like he hadn't slept in a week. He was very pale, too. Could he be sick? Maybe that was why he worked at a hospital. He seemed strong and healthy to me, but it would explain a lot of things if he weren't. The circles under his eyes, the pale skin, the fear of sunlight; maybe they were a result of an illness? Hadn't I heard of sicknesses that caused a person to fear bright light, or to be very sensitive to the sun? I felt guilty, then. If he was ill, then I had been very rude to him.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, not really loud enough for him to hear, but he looked at me anyway.

"I'm sorry," I said louder. "I shouldn't have gotten angry at you. It's none of my business why the sun bothers you."

He sighed and looked out the windshield again. "You don't understand..." he murmured.

"And I don't need to. That's what I'm saying. I know what it's like to be different. It's not right for me to demand an explanation from you."

He looked at me again. I still felt a little overwhelmed by his stare, but it was getting a tiny bit easier. I was able to actually see his face. It was the face one might imagine for Alexander the Great.

He groaned, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. I looked out the windshield, afraid we were going to drive off the road, but we didn't.

He grumbled something unintelligible under his breath - it sounded almost like a different language - then he looked at me again.

"Miss Brandon, I'm afraid I cannot take you directly to the hospital."

"Why not?"

His eyes narrowed a little. "I won't tell you the truth. So would you prefer a lie or no explanation at all?"

I felt my heart jump a little at this and swallowed.

"Am I allowed to know where we're going?" It felt odd not being able to see for myself if I wanted to.

"I haven't decided. Would you mind venturing into the wilderness? Or perhaps you would prefer to see a few picture shows? I believe there is a new one featuring Mary Pickford."

The stress was fading a little from his eyes. When he finished his speech he actually smiled slightly. The smile made his face even more beautiful than before.

It took me another long moment to process what he'd said. This ride to the hospital was a lot more bizarre than I had expected it to be.

"We can go into the woods if you need to. I'm really not in the mood for a picture show." I decided it would be uncomfortable to be sitting next to him in such a dark room for so long. At least in the woods there would be some light.

He nodded once and then the car suddenly lurched to the left and we were bouncing down an overgrown unpaved road, hurtling between trees at thirty miles per hour. I gripped my seat with both hands and clenched my jaw to keep my teeth from rattling together.

The trees soon surrounded us on all sides. He pulled the car off the dirt road under the boughs of an enormous oak and shut off the engine. I looked out the window and couldn't see the sky at all through the interwoven branches above. We were in such a deep shade it almost seemed to be dusk outside.

"So... what do we do now?" I asked as the dust settled around us.

He raised an eyebrow. "We wait."

"For... how long?"

"Until the sun has set," he answered, as though it was obvious. "You may take a nap in the back seat if you would like to."

"I'm not tired," I told him. I realized I was still clutching the seat and cowering against the door. I forced myself to let go and sit up. We sat in silence for a long time. I smoothed out my dress and fidgeted. Mr. Dwight just sat still, his eyes flashing to me whenever I moved.

We probably had a good five hours before sunset. It would be ridiculous to spend it sitting in uncomfortable silence. So I decided to strike up a conversation again.

"What do you do at the hospital, since you don't normally pick up patients?"

He didn't look at me when he answered. "During nights, cleaning and maintaining security. I do some landscaping, too, but only recreationally. During the day I organize the food preparation and occasionally assist the doctor with his patients."

"That sounds like a lot of work. I'll bet you get tired working both days and nights."

His eyes flashed to my face for a moment but he answered in a calm voice.

"I alternate days and nights. But it's true that sometimes my shifts don't leave much time for sleep."

"Maybe they should hire someone to help you," I suggested, eying the purple circles under his eyes.

"I actually enjoy my work most of the time," he admitted. "I consider myself fortunate to have found such a good fit. In exchange for my willingness to perform a large amount of unpleasant menial labor I am granted a good deal of latitude for my hours and methods. So long as I perform my tasks the administrator doesn't interfere with my preferences... at least not usually."

"Oh." I was pretty sure that last part was added because picking me up today was _not_ one of his preferences.

We sat for another immeasurably long moment in uncomfortable silence. I wasn't sure what was worse, the off-balance blindness I felt in his presence, the awkward silence in the car, the irrational anxiety I felt being so close to him, or the fear of where he would be taking me soon.

Since I was stealing glances at him whenever I could, I noticed when Mr. Dwight's eyes widened. He gazed upwards out the window, towards the canopy above. Just then the light outside grew slightly brighter, warming to a yellow-green hue. The sun had come out, but it didn't quite reach us here in the shade.

"Right on schedule," he murmured, and then looked at me. "You were right."

"Of course. Like I said, the weather is easy."

He shook his head slightly, almost in disbelief, then looked out the windshield again. His eyes were slightly anxious, as if he were waiting for an enemy.

I watched him, wondering what his bizarre behavior could all be about, but too afraid to ask.

After a while he turned his forceful eyes on me again. I struggled to keep from trembling.

"May I ask you a personal question?"

"As long as I don't have to answer." I smiled timidly.

He smiled back for a second. Then his smile faded and his forehead creased in curiosity.

"Why are you going to this place? You don't seem the usual type."

I raised my eyebrows in confusion. "But the doctor said he's treated cases like mine before."

"What kinds of cases?"

"I heard something about seizures and psychosis when he was talking with my parents."

"He has treated psychoses before. And he's experimenting with some treatments for epilepsy. I have to admit, though, Miss. Brandon, that no patient _like you_ has ever been admitted before. Much less of her own free will."

I frowned at the reminder. "I don't really have a choice."

"Why?" he pressed.

I sighed. "I decided it was best to go willingly than wait for someone to make me."

"Someone would have forced you?" His brow furrowed. "You saw that with your talent?"

I nodded.

"Do you know who?"

"No. It seemed to be a group of men, but I couldn't really see their faces." It was strange, I'd only just met this man today and already he seemed as comfortable with my abilities as Dee was.

He frowned and looked away, out his driver-side window.

We sat in silence again for a while. Then I thought of another question to ask him.

"What is the hospital like?"

He didn't move or respond though I waited expectantly for over a minute. I was about to repeat my question when he finally answered quietly.

"It is not a pleasant place, Miss. Brandon."

I heard my breath catch. I'd suspected as much, but it was still disturbing to have it confirmed.

"Why not?" I whispered.

He sighed and growled something to himself between his teeth. It sounded like: "...should _not_ get involved..."

I waited.

"It would probably be more prudent if you waited to come to your own conclusions when you arrive."

"Oh."

We sat in silence again for a few more minutes.

"May I ask another personal question?" he asked, turning to face me again.

"Okay."

"You have a remarkable ability. Do you truly wish it to be purged?"

I looked down when I answered. "I thought I did, at first. I know now that I don't. And I'm afraid that the treatment will work and I'll lose it."

He turned to stare out the windshield, not responding.

"Can I ask _you_ something, then?"

"Ask."

"How is it that you are so... accepting of what I can do? Everyone else - except my sister - thinks I'm a freak."

"Do _you_ think you're a freak?" he countered, turning to examine me.

"I know I am. I embody the definition."

He nodded, smiling a little. "True. But, in case it has escaped your notice, I am not entirely normal myself."

I frowned.

"Does that disturb you?" He smirked.

"I'm just curious. I don't like secrets unless I'm the one keeping them."

He smiled. "Maybe I'll tell you one of mine someday."

So he had more than one secret. It figured. I was surprised to realize that I was actually almost comfortable sitting alone in the cab of the car with Mr. Dwight. The anxiety I'd initially felt in his presence was starting to wear off a little. I still wasn't able to look into his eyes for any length of time, but I felt my muscles relaxing and my heart slowing. I took a deep breath and leaned my head against the back of the seat.

"If you would be more comfortable, you are welcome to recline in the back seat. I will wait outside to give you privacy."

"I am starting to feel a little drowsy," I admitted. "But you don't need to stand outside. That would be silly. We still have hours before sunset."

He got out and walked around the car to open my door.

"I don't mind. And don't fear, I will stay close to make sure you're safe." He chuckled and I got the feeling I was missing a joke.

I stood up and stretched. "If you really want to." Then something else caught my notice. "But first I, um..." I felt my cheeks warm. "I need to have a private moment, if you don't mind."

He looked confused. "You want me to leave?"

"No,_ I_ need to go." I looked around for a promising trail or distant clump of thick bushes.

"I don't understand." He still looked confused.

My face got hotter. "Are you going to make me say it? We left my house a long time ago and... I had a lot to drink this morning."

He stared at me a moment longer, like I was babbling in some foreign language. Then suddenly awareness dawned on his face.

"Ah... oh, I see." Then he too looked around. "I don't... um. I mean, I'm not certain what, precisely, you require."

I stifled a giggle. His helpless floundering amused me. It made him seem much less threatening.

"I think I can manage on my own. Just wait here, okay?"

He nodded, obviously relieved to be free of whatever responsibilities he'd feared were necessary.

I walked down the dirt road a little ways and found a small trail. I followed that into the brush until I couldn't see the road anymore. It was awkward, but this was not my first time. When we'd lived in the country Dee and I would wander far from home while playing and sometimes things needed to happen sooner rather than later.

I was walking back to the road, feeling much relieved, when I noticed the foliage rustling low by the trail. When I came to where the trail opened up to the road I turned... and screamed.

A six-foot alligator was there, just on the other side of the brush. It's toothsome mouth open wide as it whipped it's head around, barely missing my left leg. I jumped back, staggering in my hasty retreat.

I was so focused on the alligator that I didn't see how it happened. But suddenly a white hand was clamped down over the alligator's mouth, holding it shut. In the next instant the beast was lifted up off the ground and completely restrained in the arms of Mr. Dwight.

I stared, open-mouthed at the impossible scene. Mr. Dwight had one arm around the alligator's lower body, restraining its hind legs. His other arm was around it's head with his hand still clamping the creature's mouth shut. The huge alligator was thrashing its tail, trying to whip its body around but otherwise completely immobilized.

Mr. Dwight looked at me for a moment. My mind was so paralyzed by shock that I couldn't tell what his expression was. Then he turned swiftly, jogging down the road and out of sight, hauling the struggling gator with him.

Once my heart started again I slowly walked back to the car and climbed into the back seat. What had just happened? Was that even possible? I'd thought alligators were so strong! I'd heard of people wrestling with them before. Could Mr. Dwight have learned how to do that somewhere? Maybe he'd once worked at a zoo? It had looked so easy for him, though!

I jumped when the front door of the car opened.

Mr. Dwight poked his head in.

"Are you quite well?"

I nodded. "How did you do that?"

He got in and closed his door, then twisted around in his seat to face me.

"I am... a bit stronger than I look. Also, it's fairly easy to hold the creature's mouth closed. You could have done that part yourself if you'd known how."

I just nodded again, still a bit stunned.

"Are you still frightened? I should have made sure it was safe before letting you go alone."

"I'm okay now. Just surprised. What did you do with it?"

"I took it far enough away that it won't come back." He grinned. I couldn't help cringing a little at the sight of his perfectly white teeth flashing in the dark of the car.

He turned around and looked out the windshield. We were quiet for a long time again. But this time it didn't feel awkward, just peaceful. I felt myself relaxing again.

"Are you going to be in trouble for bringing me in so late to the hospital?" I asked.

He didn't turn when he answered. "I ought to be. But probably not. As I said before, I'm granted a significant amount of latitude in my position."

There was something very strange about this man. Very different. When I'd met Mr. Carolla at the ball he had seemed very pleasing on the outside - very genteel. But after talking with him for awhile I'd felt that there was a darkness there, underneath the pleasing surface.

With Mr. Dwight my impression was just the opposite. At first he'd seemed very dark. Unbelievably handsome, but frightening in a shivers-down-your-spine sort of way. But now that I was able to talk with him I was beginning to feel that, in spite of the intimidating and even chilling presence he exuded, there was a good man underneath.

"Are you ready to sleep?" he asked.

"I think so." I wasn't sure if I was tired, but taking a nap would help pass the time.

He didn't say anything else, he just opened the door and stepped out to give me privacy.

I uncurled myself as much as I could in the confined space, wrapping my coat around my body for warmth. While I lay there I let my mind wander out of habit. I tried to see what Mother and Father were doing. I tried to check on Dee. I tried to see where I was going and what would happen to me. But it was all to no avail. Mr. Dwight was right outside the car and I couldn't see anything. Not even to make sure my family was okay. It was frustrating and sad. I could probably guess how my family was, though. They would be distraught. Especially Dee. I wished that it didn't have to be so hard on her.

After a few more minutes of fruitless searching, seeing nothing, I felt my eyelids droop.


	11. Mingling

**January 1929**

I had been hunting animals for about a year, but still living like a wraith, keeping to the wilderness and avoiding humans at all costs.

I still didn't feel fully satisfied after feeding, but by now I was sure that this was to be expected. Animal blood eased the burn in my throat, kept me strong, and fortified my self-control, but that was all it could do.

I tried not to spy on Carlisle, Esme, and Edward. After reflecting on the first time, I decided that my eavesdropping on their family life was a rude intrusion on their privacy. But, even so, it seemed that once I turned it on I couldn't turn it off. I cared about them. So if anything major was about to happen in their family I would automatically see it, just as I automatically saw things about to happen to myself or to Jasper. Apparently as soon as I cared for someone, their future was tied to mine and there was no escaping the occasional update on their lives.

So I saw that Edward was wavering in his resolve to be a vigilante. He hadn't yet decided to go back to Carlisle and Esme, but he would eventually. It appeared that he was afraid his return would cause them pain. He was afraid he'd disappointed them too much. But I knew the truth. They would welcome him home with open arms.

It was fascinating to me, to see how Carlisle and Esme lived among humans almost as if they were human themselves. So I had been toying with the idea of mingling with humans myself. Now that my eyes weren't a freakish shade of red and I was less of a danger to them, I was highly curious to see what humans were like when they weren't shrinking from me in terror.

I wondered if I could use my gift to keep myself in check, or if perhaps that would only make things worse. If I was monitoring my future I might have some warning if I were about to lose control. But if I saw a vision of myself hunting an innocent bystander, would that only make me more dangerous in the heat of the moment?

I decided that I would have to risk it. I couldn't always be wandering around in the middle of nowhere. Besides, I wanted a new dress. The one I was wearing was pretty well shredded.

I checked the weather ahead and saw that it would remain cloudy in Chicago for the rest of the day. Perfect! The city was only a half hour's run away.

I ran swiftly and almost silently through the trees and deserted fields. I streaked through farmland and ghosted through the outskirts unnoticed. When I got to the city I stayed hidden. The way my dress was tattered I was practically naked. I was also a little nervous. This would be my first real encounter with humans and already the delicious scent wafting from the streets was making my throat ache and my mouth water. It had been a long time since I'd smelled such powerful human scent. I focused on my resolve to maintain self-control and moved forward.

I sneaked in the back door of a clothing store that looked like it carried petite sizes. While the shop attendant took care of another customer I snatched a dress and sneaked back out.

I slipped into the dress in the back alley. It fit nicely, but I was dying to see what it looked like. It was shimmering gold satin, full length, with a braided halter top. It was form fitting and the satin felt good on my skin. Since it was floor length nobody would see that I wasn't wearing shoes. So maybe I could just walk into the next store. Maybe they would have a mirror?

I hastily brushed as much of the dirt off of my bare skin as I could, regretting that I hadn't thought to rinse off in the river - some psychic I was - and hesitantly stepped out of the alley.

I spotted a cute pair of shoes in a store window about a half-mile down the street. I started walking that direction, reminding myself to move in slow motion.

_Keep it slow; no sudden movements; try not to look suspicious._

I watched what the humans were doing in case I forgot to do something important, like blink. But, to my dismay, almost all of the humans were staring at me!

What had I done? Did they all notice that I had bare feet? Was I too dirty? Was I acting strangely?

I scanned the future. None of them were planning on talking to me, but their behavior would be the same all the way to the shoe store. Wide eyes and open mouths following me the whole way.

I decided it would be best to just ignore their disconcerting reactions while I tried to figure out why they were behaving so strangely.

It took an excruciatingly long time to get to the shoe store going at a human pace. I was tempted to break into a jog to get there a little more quickly, but I was fairly certain that human women didn't normally jog down the street wearing this kind of dress.

I entered the store confidently, so as not to appear suspicious. The scent in the warm room was potent. I felt the aching burn in my throat and swallowed a mouthful of venom.

The man at the counter looked up and gawked openly. My sudden and powerful thirst made me irritable and the gawking annoyed me more than it should. I smiled at him, baring my teeth a bit too much.

His breath caught and he swallowed convulsively, heart suddenly racing.

"G... Good afternoon, Ma'am," he stammered. "May I help you find something?"

"If it's all the same to you, I think I'd rather look around myself first," I answered, smiling again but not showing my teeth this time. I didn't need to terrify this poor man.

"Yes, yes certainly," he replied, looking like he was about to have a nervous breakdown.

I quickly scanned the shoes and found a pair that would go perfectly with the dress. As I considered them I realized that I'd made a mistake in my planning. I hadn't taken into account the need for money when procuring these shoes. I was so used to just pilfering whatever I needed the thought hadn't occurred to me.

So, I would need to start obtaining money somehow. On a brighter note that meant I would need a handbag to carry it in, too. I smiled at the thought. And, if I was going to interact with humans more than just this once I would need more than one outfit, more than one pair of shoes, more than one handbag, and somewhere to keep all this stuff, too.

My smile faded into a frown. It would take more than just this one evening to start mingling with humans regularly. This was more complicated than I had initially presumed.

The man at the counter was debating over whether or not to offer me assistance again. He was also considering asking me where I lived and if I enjoyed live theater and French food. I saw several visions playing out as he weighed his options.

"How much are these?" I asked, holding up the jewel-studded heels.

"That pair is six dollars," he offered. "Would you care to try them on?"

"No thank you," I lied. He would surely notice the fact that I didn't have any shoes to take off before putting these ones on.

"I may be able to reduce the price for you a bit. If you don't mind, may I ask what your spending limit is?"

"The price isn't a problem," I lied again. "I just left my handbag with my husband," I added in a burst of inspiration. Kill two birds with one stone.

I saw his face fall immediately at the word 'husband'.

"I like these shoes. I might be back for them later."

As I was heading out the door he stopped me.

"Ma'am, aren't you cold out there?"

Cold? Oh, suddenly things made sense. It was cold outside. There was snow piled up in drifts and icicles hanging from roofs. And I was walking around outside without a coat in a thin, sleeveless, backless satin dress not even hugging myself for warmth.

I didn't miss a beat, though, in my answer.

"Yeah, but my husband is carrying my coat, too. He's in the next shop over. I just sneaked over here while he wasn't looking. He doesn't need to know I'm planning on another pair of heels." I winked at him.

"Oh." He smiled, looking somewhat appeased. I made my escape.

I walked as quickly as I could while still maintaining a human pace. It was maddening! I hugged myself and rubbed my arms, trying to look like I felt cold, and bolted into the first dark alley I came across.

"Well, that could have gone better," I mused to myself.

I would just have to keep working at it, learning how humans behave and how to mimic them.

I had to admit it, too. It was fun pretending to be human. It was more fun than I could ever remember having. Not that that was saying much, under the circumstances. Still, it had been so dull wandering around alone for the past nine years. This would be a challenge, a chance to have a life, and good practice for when Jasper and I would eventually be living with Carlisle's family.

For the first time I could remember, I was excited for my immediate future.


	12. Asylum

**March 1918**

A sharp tapping noise woke me. It sounded like someone hammering a rock on a windowpane.

Stiffly, groggily, I sat up. For the first few seconds I wasn't sure where I was or what I was doing. Then I remembered. I looked and saw the devastatingly handsome face of Mr. Dwight outside the car window; his hand was raised as if he was about to tap on the glass again.

I noticed, too, that the light outside was dim. The sun was going down. How long had I slept?

It was chilly in the car. I hugged my coat tighter and opened the door.

"Time to go?" I asked.

"Yes," he answered quietly.

I hopped out and shivered a little, wishing I could stretch but not wanting to let go of the death-grip on my coat.

"I must've been asleep a long time," I observed with a yawn, climbing into the front seat.

"Five hours," Mr. Dwight confirmed in a neutral voice.

"It's funny. That's probably the best I've slept in a long time. I don't think I had a single nightmare."

He closed the door for me and I waited while he walked around the car to his side.

"You know," I observed when he sat down. "I think it's because you were there."

He looked up at me like he thought I was crazy.

"You think you slept well because I was near?"

"Yes. I have nightmares because of... whatever it is about me. The visions. But since you block the visions, I think you blocked the nightmares, too."

"That's an interesting thought." He'd turned out onto the dirt and was driving back toward the main road now, slower than before.

We sat in silence again. It seemed to me that he was brooding over something.

"Mr. Dwight. Can I ask you something? And please tell the truth."

"I can't promise to tell the truth. But I do promise not to lie to you."

I had to smile at his bizarre response.

"Fair enough. Well, here it goes. Do you think the treatment can work? Is it possible that it will get rid of the visions?"

"You don't want the treatment to work," he reminded me, looking straight ahead. His voice sounded cold and strained.

"No, not really," I admitted. "But if it did... I would be able to go home. And if it's a choice between my visions and my family, I'll take my family. And since I can't see for myself what's coming..." I gestured to him, meaningfully. "It would be nice to have your educated opinion. It would be nice to have a little hope. Or at least know what I might reasonably expect. I'm not used to feeling normal." I wrinkled my nose in distaste at the word.

Suddenly the car lurched to a stop. I braced myself to keep from smashing into the windshield. We had just arrived at the main road. Now we sat at the crossroads, engine idling, headlights shining out perpendicular to our path.

"No! Dammit, dammit! Why?" His hands were balled into fists and pressed against his face in agony or fury. I couldn't tell which.

I just stared, shocked and confused by his sudden exclamation. His voice roared so loud it hurt my ears. I felt the blood drain from my cheeks and my heart raced, but I was frozen in place. I didn't understand what could have upset him.

"What did I say?" I asked in a small voice.

He just groaned and slowly pulled his hands away. His beautiful face was still fixed in an expression of pain. Then, very slowly, as if he was fighting himself the whole way, he turned to look at me. His black eyes were forceful, overwhelming.

"Miss. Brandon. Mary. Alice. Whatever you call yourself. Listen carefully and understand what I'm telling you."

He paused for a response. I was still so stunned that I could only nod mutely.

His hands clenched the wheel, knuckles going white. I thought I even heard the sound of the metal creaking under strain.

"I told you that where I was taking you was not a pleasant place."

I nodded again when he paused.

"It is not a hospital." He said the words slowly, enunciating carefully. I stared, wide-eyed. "I work at an asylum, most of the patients at which are criminally insane."

I continued to stare. My breathing was shallow and quick. I could feel my heart pounding under my ribcage. I wasn't sure if it was because of the information he was giving me or because I felt like I was staring death in the face. Who knew death could be so beautiful?

"Do you understand so far?"

I nodded again and whispered, "Yes."

"As far as curing you," he said the word like an expletive, "I believe, for good reason, that the doctor has more of a chance of killing you than ridding you of your visions. And the best possible outcome for you at this point is that you will remain incarcerated at the asylum, undergoing dangerous treatments for the rest of your life."

He watched my reaction carefully.

"Do you understand?"

"Y...Yes. But..."

"But, what?"

"Why are you telling me this?"

His eyes had not blinked this entire time. But now he closed them. When they opened again they were a little softer.

"Because I can help. I can take you away from here. I can give you some money and you can start a new life somewhere. Somewhere far away."

This took me a little while to process.

"You... would do that?"

He winced a little at my question and looked away. Then sighed.

"Yes, it seems I would."

"But, wouldn't you be in trouble for that? Or does your latitude cover this too?"

"No. I'm sure this would be an unforgivable sin. But it is only a job. I can find another."

I gazed at him, admiration growing and displacing more of the irrational fear. He had, only hours ago, been boasting how much he enjoyed his work. But he was willing to sacrifice it in order to help me, a stranger he'd only just met.

I thought about his offer, trying to see it from all sides.

"I would never be able to go home," I murmured.

"Maybe not," he admitted.

"I would never be able to se Dee again," I breathed, barely whispering. The sound didn't even reach my own ears.

"You would never be able to see her again if you were dead, either," he murmured grimly, just loud enough for me to hear.

I eyed him suspiciously. How had he been able to hear me? And even if he did, how did he know whom I was talking about? Like before, how had he known to call me Alice? There was more to this man than he showed.

His eyes flashed to my face again.

"Well?" he demanded.

I shook my head.

"I already saw that if I tried to run they would find me," I explained. He was shaking his head now, about to contradict me so I rushed on. "And, I can't leave my family like that, either. If there's any chance that I can get out of this place and return to them I have to try. And also..." He was eyeing me darkly so I added this last part in a subdued voice. "I can't ask you to do this for me. It's not fair for you to give up the career you love just to keep me out of trouble."

"Miss Brandon..."

I smiled wryly at him. "You can call me Alice. I like it better."

His lips twitched, like he was almost going to smile back.

"Alice, then. I don't believe that you have a good chance of ever seeing your family again. No matter what you decide."

I frowned. "Then there's still a chance."

His eyes grew sad. He scrutinized my expression, deciding if I meant what I was saying or not.

"If there's anything I know about the world," I continued, "It's that almost everything that happens was once just a small chance."

"You're sure you want to do this?"

I nodded solemnly. "It's the only chance I have to be with my family again."

He watched me for another long moment, then sighed and pulled off of the dirt road, turning left and continuing toward the "hospital".

It was very dark when we arrived. The only light came from a few lanterns out front. In the darkness the building felt foreboding and I was suddenly more frightened than I had been before.

We parked in front of the main doors and Mr. Dwight took my trunk and walked me toward the large edifice. As we neared I heard the tortured screams and moans of the other inmates echoing in the dark. I began to tremble.

Mr. Dwight kept pace with me even though I was walking very slowly. I glanced sideways at him and saw that he was watching me. I figured he was giving me one last chance to escape. I swallowed hard, remembered the look of sorrow on Dee's face, and marched forward determinedly.

The big double doors in the front opened to a poorly lit cavernous room with stone floors. A huge stairwell led up to the second story. The sound of my footsteps echoed in the emptiness. The wailing of the other patients sounded hollow and eerie coming from the long hallways to the left and right.

The only footsteps I heard were my own, so I glanced back to see where Mr. Dwight had gone, but he was right next to me.

"Are you ready?" he murmured softly.

"Yes." I nodded, but I wasn't sure if it was a lie or not.

He led me to the right towards a wooden door in the back corner. The door opened to a small office, warm and glowing with soft light. I stayed just outside the room, a little too nervous to enter. The wall opposite the door was stacked with books from floor to ceiling. I smelled the scent of pipe tobacco burning.

"Ah, you've returned. And a tad late, I see." I recognized the voice. It was the old man who had come to visit my parents. It seemed like an eternity ago. He sounded more surprised than angry at the tardiness of his assistant.

"Yes, Dr. Gorton." Mr. Dwight didn't offer an explanation. And it didn't seem that one was required.

"Well, take this one to room one nineteen. And, ah, you can just leave the trunk here."

What? My trunk? What did he mean, leave it? All my clothes were in there! And my books!

I was so paralyzed by fear that I could only gasp softly rather than rage violently as I would have liked to.

Mr. Dwight set the trunk down and shook his head slightly when he saw my expression. Then he began to lead the way down the hall.

"My trunk!" I squeaked, still not able to muster the furious tone I was going for.

"I'm sorry. It's policy. In fact, you'll need to change out of your clothes and into a gown once we reach your room."

"You never said they would take my clothes!" I hissed.

"Would that have changed your mind?" he asked. Mostly his tone was sorrowful. But I thought it also sounded a little amused.

I considered that for a moment. "No," I sighed. "I suppose not."

The screaming and wailing was getting louder as we walked. There were large heavy doors with tiny, rectangular barred windows in them spaced evenly down the length of the hallway. As we passed each one I could hear the various noises of misery coming from each. Moaning, sobbing, cursing, rambling nonsense, and of course the screaming.

We reached a door near the end of the hallway with no sound coming out. Mr. Dwight pulled a key from his pocket and unlocked it.

I stepped into the room and felt my heart drop to the floor at what I saw.

It was almost completely bare. There was a straw mattress on the floor in one corner with a thin, coarse wool blanket laid over it. At one end of the bed was a folded piece of cloth. No pillow. Just inside and to the left of the door was a small wooden stool. In the wall above the bed was a narrow window covered by a metal grate. I went closer to get a better look. On the outside of the window were thick metal bars. And outside of the bars was a second metal grate. I doubted that, even when the sun rose, I would be able to see anything outside.

"You'll need to change into that," Mr. Dwight said. Catching my attention. He was pointing to the folded cloth on the bed.

"Oh, okay."

He didn't move.

"Should I knock on the door to let you know when I'm done?" I asked, unsubtly hinting for some privacy.

"I'm not supposed to leave you alone until I'm sure you don't have any unauthorized materials in your possession," he answered coolly. But then his eyes softened a little. "I can turn my back, though." And he obligingly turned to face the closed door.

Feeling extremely uncomfortable I took off my dress and folded it onto the bed. Promising myself that someday, somehow I would find a way to wear real clothes again. I began to slip on the ugly nightgown.

"Um, Alice, you're supposed to wear only the garment provided..." Mr. Dwight muttered.

I whirled around, but he was still facing the door.

"How did you...?"

"Please..." He sighed. "I have been forced to dress people against their will before. I'd rather spare both of us the humiliation."

"Fine!" I grumbled, and stripped off my undergarments, watching him closely to make sure he didn't peek. I yanked the offensive nightgown over my naked body and gathered up my real clothes in a bundle.

"Take them!" I thrust the bundle at him.

"Thank you," he answered, turning to me. "And I am sorry about this. You know that."

"Yes, I know," I glowered.

He smirked at me, then chuckled, shaking his head.

"What?" I asked, frostily.

"When I told you that if you came here you would probably never leave alive, it seemed to barely concern you. But we take away your clothes and..." He gestured to me, as if he didn't need to bother finishing his sentence.

"Clothes are very important," I challenged, loftily. "And those are all of my favorite dresses your doctor confiscated."

He continued to shake his head. But he closed his eyes and it seemed like he was concentrating on something. When he answered his voice was colder, withdrawn. All humor gone.

"He's not my doctor. He's yours. Now I suggest you get as much rest as possible. Someone will probably come in the morning to help you get settled."

I felt a stab of fear. "Wait!"

He turned, halfway out the door.

"Won't I... I mean...Will I see you again?"

He didn't look back at me when he answered.

"Probably not."

Grief washed over me, then. I had grown so comfortable with him. Secretly I had felt a little bit better about coming knowing that I would have one friend.

His black hair obscured his face while he continued.

"I have many responsibilities that keep me occupied during waking hours." Then he turned his head slightly and his eyes touched my face. His forehead furrowed.

"You might possibly see me out working on the grounds on occasion."

"That's right. You said you did landscaping, didn't you?"

"When I get the chance. Goodbye, Alice."

"Goodbye, Mr. Dwight."

He hesitated, looking like he was about to say something else. Then decided against it and closed the door.

I turned back to my stark room. It felt even more empty and cold now that I was alone. After my nap earlier in the day I didn't really feel tired, but there was nothing else to do in this room.

Since Mr. Dwight left I felt my extra sense returning a little. But I still couldn't see anything. It was a strange sensation, like being able to feel your legs but not being able to move them.

I padded over to the bed and grabbed the itchy blanket, wrapping it around myself for warmth. The mattress smelled of urine. I crawled to the corner of the bed and huddled there, back braced against the wall. Shortly after that the sound of my sobbing joined the laments of all the others in the hall.


	13. Money

**February 1929**

After my first less-than-successful attempt at mingling with humans I decided to be more prepared in the future. So this time I had a plan. Since I couldn't get a job without a legal identity, and since I also wasn't sure I could handle that much interaction yet, I would have to get funds some other... slightly less legitimate way. I wouldn't steal my money, but I decided that I would probably be pretty good at gambling. I just had to locate some seed money and then find my way to the dark underbelly of the city where I could transform a handful of change into something more significant.

I "borrowed" a fur coat and pair of shoes first. I had to be able to wander openly outside in the cold Chicago winter without attracting too much attention. Once I was appropriately bundled against the chill I began executing my plan.

The first part wasn't hard at all. I scoured the cracks and corners of the streets as inconspicuously as possible. It took me a couple of hours, but eventually I'd gathered about five dollar's worth of change. Then all I had to do was follow my nose. Since alcohol was still illegal all it took was locating the most populated area with the strongest odor of bootleg.

It surprised me how strong my hunting instincts were still. Just trying to find this establishment, following human scent, it was hard to resist the urge to drop into a crouch, to stalk forward silently from the shadows, to give in to the desire that felt like a need for hot, wet... _pulsing..._

I concentrated hard on the bitter scent of alcohol wafting in the air, trying to follow that and ignore the delicious aroma of the humans that went along with it.

When I finally arrived at the building I waited outside, watching. It wasn't the best disguise for a speakeasy. No windows, just one door, no sign at all that it was a gathering place, but the sounds of the slightly rowdy crowd inside was suspicious coming from such a façade. If I had been a police officer, rather than a vampire trying to make a few bucks, I would be suspicious of this place. But maybe I was being too critical. I wasn't sure if the humans could even hear the noise from outside.

As I watched and waited several people went up to the door, knocked three times and spoke a few words to the large muscular man who answered. The man eyed them each in turn and let them in. So now I knew the secret password. I hoped I was strong enough to handle this.

I approached the door and knocked gently three times. The door cracked open and a particularly concentrated whiff of human scent washed over my face. I wasn't thirsty, but my throat ached at the potency of it and my mouth filled with venom. I swallowed, struggling to keep my expression casual. I certainly hoped this got easier with time.

The huge man appraised me. His eyes widened and his pulse quickened. I didn't know if he could sense how dangerous I was or if he was attracted to me. He didn't look like the type who would be wary of a ninety-pound girl. I was pretty sure his bicep weighed more than I did. So the latter was more likely. He probably had a lot of blood in his body. In fact, half his blood would probably satisfy my thirst, the rest would be pure pleasure...

_Focus, Alice!_ I chastised myself.

I smiled at him, careful to keep my teeth hidden. His eyes popped wider. Blood filled his cheeks. So appetizing...

"Is the moon shining tonight?" I asked demurely.

He smiled back a little as his eyes moved up and down my figure.

"Doll, for you the moon shines _every_ night." He opened the door wider and let me in.

"Thank you," I told him, though I wasn't sure exactly what he'd meant. Was he inviting me to come here every night? Was he trying to flirt with me? If so we both wanted something from the other that we couldn't have.

"You're new to these parts, huh?"

"Sort of," I answered, honestly. My eyes were already roving through the crowd, looking for a good opportunity. "I've been away for a while. But I'm back for a visit."

"Well, if you need anything..."

"I'll know who to ask." I smiled at him and winked. It felt good to tease this human. It distracted me from my thirst and closed the conversation sooner than trying to shut him down would have.

I spotted my table.

In the hazy back corner of the room was a group of men playing cards. I was certain they were placing real bets, with real money. If I could get them to accept me at their table I might be able to double my five dollars tonight.

I scanned ahead, checking for any danger, and was a little surprised that pretty much no matter what I did they would practically beg me to join them. Maybe I wasn't as scary as I thought I was? Maybe it was just because I was with humans who were used to considering _themselves_ the dangerous ones?

I sauntered up to the table, noticing with some pleasure how I was instantaneously the center of attention in this small establishment. This was going to be fun.

When I arrived at the poker table the eyes of all the men there were already wide and fixed on me.

"Evening, boys," I said, working to make myself sound alluring. "I was hoping to find an open table tonight. Do you think you might have room for one more?" I arranged my features into a sad-but-hopeful expression, hoping I wasn't overdoing it.

The men just stared. The cigar dropped out of the mouth of the man next to me.

I waited a second longer, then looked dejected, as if interpreting their silence as a refusal. "Well, that's too bad. I guess you can't blame a girl for trying." I shrugged with a small, resigned smile. "I'll just try down the other end of the street. You fellas have a good night." I patted the back of the man to my right and popped his cigar back in his mouth for him.

Suddenly they were all clamoring to their feet.

"Of course you can stay!"

"I don't like playing with only five anyway."

"Let me grab an extra chair."

"You need me to lend you some green?"

"This hand was no good anyhow."

Soon I was sitting at the table surrounded by five very accommodating gentlemen. They dealt me in, but for the first few hands I didn't do much actual playing since I really didn't know how the game was played. I watched carefully what they did, keeping tabs on what was considered good and bad, how and when bets were placed, and skimming the future a little to see what would happen if players made different decisions. By the third hand I was sure I had a complete understanding of the game.

"You runnin' out of cash, darlin'?" the man to my right, Johnny, asked.

"I still have a bit," I answered.

"Here, let me get you a drink. What'll you have?"

"Oh, no thank you." I chuckled. "That's not necessary, I'm not thirsty."

"Nonsense! No beautiful woman loses money at my table without havin' herself a drink. Hey, Pete!" He called back to the bar. "Get this lady here a glass of your finest red!"

I groaned inwardly. There was no way I could refuse the drink now without being very rude or very suspicious. At least the wine wouldn't hurt me. I could be sure of that much.

The men dealt out another hand and while we were all examining our cards my glass of wine arrived. Johnny had said it was their finest. So I was determined to act normal.

"Here you are, miss," the bartender said, setting the glass on the table.

"Give that a try and tell me it isn't the best you've ever tasted!"

I gave him an appreciative smile and gingerly brought the glass to my lips.

It didn't smell bad, but it wasn't appetizing at all. It had a fruity floral aroma to it.

I let some pass my lips, then fought, very hard, not to gag, or convulse, or even clench my fingers, as that would shatter the glass. It tasted so wrong. The fluid in my mouth was bitter. It tasted of rotten plants, probably because that's exactly what it was made of. It felt warm in my mouth but not hot like it should. It was too thin too..._dry_ somehow. I choked it down, but it did nothing for the aching thirst in my throat. I might as well have been drinking a bottle of perfume.

"Well?" Johnny asked, waiting for my approval.

I smiled winningly at him and answered honestly. "It's the best wine I've ever tasted."

"Glad to hear it!" He grinned. "Pete!" he hollered back to the bar. "Keep it coming! I don't want to see this lady's glass empty, you hear me?"

"Sure thing!" Pete called back.

I groaned inwardly again and tried to concentrate on the game. I could feel the wine inside me, like a foreign object. My stomach was trying to push it back out.

At least I was able to really play now.

It was almost too easy. It was the simplest thing in the world to know what cards I would get if I traded, or to know if my opponents were bluffing, or if they would call my bluff if I decided to press my luck with a bad hand.

I had to lose a little now and then. Though I was sure they wouldn't accuse me of cheating, at least not out loud. Still, I didn't want to leave any kind of suspicion behind me. I also had to keep drinking the disgusting red liquid in my glass. I felt a little bad that Johnny was wasting all this wine on me. But I was also pretty sure he was hoping to get me drunk enough to find him attractive.

After a few hours I'd successfully tripled my original five dollars and decided to call it an evening. I didn't want to take all of their money, and I didn't want to have to swallow any more of that awful red beverage. Animal blood would taste heavenly compared to this stuff.

"Thank you all for the company and the delightful evening." They all stood when I did. "But I think I'm through with the game for now," I announced.

"You're leaving?"

"Aw, the night is still young!"

"We can do something else."

"Don't go, miss Alice."

"Do you need a ride back to your place?" Johnny asked.

"No, thank you." No need to add that I didn't have a "place". I smiled an apology to the rest of the guys then I turned and walked to the door. I thanked the doorman - or was he the bouncer? - And turned to wave to my new friends. They were watching me go with regretful eyes.

Once I was outside I heard one of the men mutter. "I think she took us for a ride..."

Another man snorted. "I don't care. She can fleece me whenever she wants to!"

I chuckled. Then hurried to a dark, remote corner of the city and retched up the awful wine into a gutter. I hoped I would never have to do that again. But, just thinking about it, I caught glimpses of my future self having to wear a fake smile while eating or drinking all sorts of disgusting human food.

I moaned, wondering briefly if it was all really worth it.

Yes, it had to be.

Then I got down to business. I had enough money now to do what I needed. The shops were all getting ready to close so I went a little too fast to make it in time, knowing that no one would catch me. I bought a much simpler cotton dress, leather shoes, and wool jacket as quickly as I could. Then I ducked into an alley to change out of my stolen ensemble.

I darted back to the shops I'd pilfered from, sneaking in and replacing my stolen clothes then sneaking back out again before the items could be noticed.

There. That was one less thing to feel guilty over. And I still had about eight dollars of my winnings left. I would be able to use that as seed money the next time I visited a gaming table. Soon I would have enough to pull off a more complicated charade. I'd be able to visit the same place more than once. I'd be able to make real human friends and have a real life... sort of. The thought cheered me.


	14. Inception

**March 1918**

I woke with a start. Had I heard something? I was balled up, shivering in the corner of my smelly straw mattress with the itchy wool blanket wrapped around me.

I heard it again: a key turning in the lock of my door.

The door creaked open and a nurse walked in; she was large, wore a disinterested expression, and appeared authoritative. "Come with me," she demanded, "We've got to get you cleaned up."

This news baffled me. I was probably the cleanest thing in the room. But I got up anyway. She seemed like the kind of woman who didn't take argument well.

She marched me down the long hallway, back toward the large entrance, and into a large steamy room. I was instantly grateful. It would be nice to soak in some warm water and fight off the chills from last night.

"This way," my nurse barked. She was leading me towards a strange chair. There was a medical-looking tray next to it with... scissors... and clippers.

"What?" I asked, baffled.

"I need to shear ya."

I just shook my head, backing away slowly. I must have misunderstood her. That was the only explanation.

"Get your skinny arse in that chair or I'll have to strap you down in it!"

"You're going to cut my hair?" I gasped.

She just rolled her eyes and lurched at me.

Before I knew it we were in an all-out wrestling match. I kicked and screamed and tried to drag myself away. If I could just get free, I thought, I'd make a run for it. I didn't care that I was only wearing a thin nightgown and was miles away from anywhere.

"No! No, I won't let you! Get away from me!" I screeched.

"I need some assistance!" the nurse called. Two more nurses came in and I was overpowered. They forced me - screaming and crying, -into the chair and strapped my arms, legs, and chest down with leather restraints. The two new nurses held my head still while the large one snipped my long hair close to my scalp with scissors. Then she took the shears and clipped the rest off. I felt the cold metal pressing against my scalp followed by the cool air. When she was finished the two assistant nurses released me. My head felt oddly light. I wasn't struggling any more. I just sat there, letting sobs shake through me while tears streamed down my cheeks.

"Clean this up while I get her to the tub," the larger nurse instructed the two assistants.

She took me by the arm and dragged me to the other side of the room where a large bathtub waited. I looked back and saw all my beautiful long black hair lying in a pile on the floor.

I wasn't even allowed to bathe alone. The fat nurse stripped off my gown and helped me into the water. She lathered up a sponge and began scrubbing me, but I was too miserable to care very much.

When I was "clean" she helped me out of the tub, toweled me off, and gave me a fresh gown to wear.

She walked me out of the room and was taking me somewhere new when a voice stopped us.

"That's all right Miss Margaret. I'll take Miss Brandon from here."

It was not the voice I was hoping for. An old man was approaching us. He was short, almost as short as I was, and very thin. His face and neck were creased with countless lines and wrinkles, his head nearly bald except for a ring of white hair just above his neck and around his ears.

"This one can be a bit feisty, sir," the nurse, Miss Margaret, warned.

"Ah, you'll be a good girl for me, won't you Miss Brandon?" he asked.

I just nodded. My dejection was slowly turning into a cold hatred of this place and everything in it. But I could promise not to attack this old man at least.

"All right, then." He held out his arm for me and Miss Margaret watched us carefully, ready to intervene if need be.

I took his arm, feeling a little sick at the contact. I was pretty sure I didn't want to have anything to do with the doctor after what I'd been through so far.

"Where are we going?" I asked quietly, trying not to let the hatred seep into my voice.

"There is someone here to see you," he answered.

Instantly my mood shifted. It was my family! Maybe Father had come to see that I was settled in? Maybe It was Mother? Maybe Dee was with them? I could ask them to take me out of this place! We would take my trunk and leave immediately. My hair would grow back eventually and all this would be just a horrible nightmare!

"How are you finding your accommodations?" the doctor asked.

My mood was so much lighter that I was actually willing to speak to him.

"I honestly don't care for my room much. It was very cold last night. Also my mattress smells bad. And there isn't anything to do. And I haven't eaten since yesterday morning so I'm very hungry."

"I'm sorry your room isn't to your liking." He sounded sort of detached, like he hadn't really been paying attention. "I'll see what we can do to make it better for you. Ah, here we are."

We arrived at a room and Dr. Gorton opened the door for me. I rushed in only to skid to a stop when I saw who was in there.

There was a rectangular table with two chairs, one on either side. The chair nearest the door was empty. In the other sat a large man with a dark complexion, dark eyes, dark hair and a mustache. He seemed to be about in his fifties. He looked vaguely familiar.

The man looked at me then raised an eyebrow to the doctor.

"This is the girl?" he asked in a deep voice that I recognized. The same voice that had been with the doctor's that morning when he was discussing having me brought here with my parents. It seemed so long ago.

"Yes, of course," The doctor answered. "I would appreciate it if you kept this visit brief. She had only been here less than a day and the whole thing can be quite traumatic."

"I'll be the judge of how long my visits are to be," the big man snapped. He motioned for the doctor to leave. When we were alone he looked at me again.

"Do you have any idea who I am?" he asked me as I sat in the chair across from him.

"Not really."

"That is unfortunate. My name is Mr. Matranga. You may consider me your patron in this hospital."

"I already know it's not a hospital." I scowled, refusing to feel threatened.

"Clever girl." He smiled, but it was a sinister smile. "I'm here to see you because you have something that might be useful to me."

I stared at him blankly for a moment. I didn't have _anything_ anymore. Everything had been taken from me. What could he want?

"The last time I saw you, you saved a colleague of mine from being poisoned. You remember this?"

Then I remembered where I'd seen him before. That night, right before Mr. Carlotta had left the table he'd caught the eye of another man. They'd exchanged a meaningful look. This man, Mr. Matranga, had been at the hotel that night!

"Yes, I remember."

"I want you to help me. It seems you can know things that are going to happen. I want you to tell me what you see, everything. You will be... my _oracle_." He smiled greedily. "In exchange, I will make sure you are very comfortable, you will want for nothing. You want nice food, it's yours; beautiful dresses, they're yours; lavish furnishings, jewels, anything you want, it's all yours."

I scowled at him. "And if I refuse?"

He scowled back. "I'm sure you have been here long enough to know how unpleasant it can be. You would not want to spend the rest of your days here, alone, would you?"

"My family will come for me," I challenged, "When I tell them I want to go home they won't let you keep me here."

"Ah, my dear." Mr. Matranga smiled and shook his head as if he were embarrassed for my slowness. "Your family will not come for you."

"Of course they will! They didn't dump me here to get rid of me!"

"They won't come for you because you are dead."

This stunned me for a moment. I felt like I couldn't make my voice work, so I just stared at him.

"That's right." He smirked. "You died yesterday. The doctor was attempting a dangerous experimental treatment. There was a tragic accident and you lost your life. They should be receiving the news shortly."

"But... You _can't!_" I wailed, tears beginning to trickle.

"I can. I already have. Very conveniently there was a fatality here the day before yesterday, so we have a body to bury. All the paperwork is drawn up. I will, of course, provide for a very nice funeral. And your family will have no reason to visit this dark place."

"Why are you doing this to me?" I wailed.

"I already told you," he answered. "It is not my intention for you to suffer. I'm sure I can make you quite happy, if given the chance."

"Telling the people I love that I'm dead does _not_ make me happy!" I sobbed.

"What's done is done," he said, in an offhand tone. Then he just silently watched me weep for a minute. "It appears that you may need time to consider my offer," he said when I didn't immediately accept the proposal. He stood and lumbered towards the door.

"And, of course, this must all be very traumatic for you," he added as he stepped out. "It would be best to keep our first visit brief."

When he walked out the doctor came in.

"Now, my dear," the doctor said, barely noticing that I was crying. "I hope that wasn't too much for you. Mr. Matranga is an intimidating man, but he is funding your treatment and a good deal more. So it's best to let him have his visits."

I was beyond responding. I just followed him lamely, thinking and crying. There had to be something I could do.


	15. Sister

**April 1933**

I'd gotten a small apartment in Halifax, Nova Scotia. It was a little difficult to procure an apartment because I didn't have any papers. I wasn't a legal citizen of anywhere, no identification, no birth certificate, nothing. But humans, especially the males, were always eager to smooth things over for me. And if all else failed, a handful of cash would do the trick. I was lucky enough to find a renter who would overlook my lack of identification or bank account, provided I paid my rent in cash on time.

Money was really no problem now. I could always run off to a different city to gamble and turn a handful of change into a small fortune in a matter of days if I really needed to. My personal financial needs were very small. But money was useful for maintaining my props.

I was getting much better at mingling with the humans. It was still difficult for me when I was thirsty, but the constant exposure to their scent was helping. I was able to ignore it easier and easier as time passed.

I sat on my bed, staring out the window into the city. I was already finished with the books I'd checked out the day before, so there was nothing to do but wait until sunrise. It was kind of ironic that I was stuck inside at night, forced to pretend I was sleeping. Someone was bound to get suspicious if they saw me wandering around outside in the sleepy town. The sky slowly lightened. Morning was arriving, and today's forecast was cloudy with showers just after sunset. Perfect.

I slipped into a short dress and tugged on my Florentine hat and gloves. I wore gloves whenever possible just in case it was necessary to touch someone. I didn't want them to feel how cold and hard my skin was.

I skipped out of my room and down the stairs.

"Good morning, Daisy!" I sang to my neighbor as I bounced passed her.

"Good morning, Alice. You're in a good mood today."

"I suppose I am." I smiled at her. "I love cloudy weather. I hope we have a thunderstorm tonight!" We wouldn't.

"You are a strange one, miss Alice." She chuckled at me, shaking her head. "It's cloudy most every day."

"I know," I laughed.

I did a quick scan. Yes, Daisy would certainly be on my list today. She had been having trouble keeping up with the rent. Her six-year-old boy had caught a bad flu this past winter and the doctor bills were high. If she couldn't make the rent by this weekend she and her son would be evicted. She would not be able to afford it on her own, and they had nowhere to go.

I smiled at her and skipped out into the daylight. Out of habit I tested the air temperature as soon as I was outside, a little chilly for humans. I'd keep my coat on and buttoned.

I walked down the street in slow motion, greeting the people I knew and smiling politely at the people I didn't know - these would invariably gawk at me. I'd learned to just accept that. At first I hadn't realized that I was so beautiful to them. I was so used to the terror in their eyes I hadn't recognized the admiration.

I made my way, very slowly, toward the waterfront market. By the time I got there a small crowd had already gathered.

I spent most of the morning buying food from the vendors who needed - and deserved - business the most. Praising their wares loudly enough for others to hear. I tried to avoid sampling the goods as much as possible. It wasn't entirely avoidable with these pushy merchants.

When I was done I carried my bags, three in each hand, back up to the city.

There were six people on my list today.

The first was a mother of four. Her husband spent all day every day working or looking for work but it wasn't enough. Their children were starving and the youngest three would have to leave soon to live with distant, wealthier, relatives if they were to survive. The father would find decent work soon, but not soon enough. If they didn't get help their family would be broken up.

On the outside of the first bag I wrote the words;

_A gift from a friend._

They would never accept the food if they weren't sure it was meant for them.

I waited outside the back of the house for the right moment. The children were playing out front, their mother in the kitchen, watering down milk and boiling old soup bones in a vain hope to squeeze more nutrients out of them.

She turned to take care of her youngest and I took my chance. Fast as lightening I flitted in through the window, set the bag of food down on her counter, and sneaked back out again.

Less than a second had passed. I collected the five remaining bags and continued toward my next stop.

The next person on my list was an older gentleman. His entire family: his wife, his son, his daughter-in-law and two grandchildren had been killed when two ships collided in the harbor sixteen years earlier. The whole north end of the city had been destroyed in that explosion. Over time and with much work the city had been repaired, but this man was still without his family. Now his health was beginning to fail him. He couldn't work anymore and he had no one to care for him. He was too proud to seek help, but he needed it.

This one was simple. I merely set the bag of food on his front step, knocked twice, and sneaked away before he could get to the door.

Bag after bag I anonymously donated to those who I saw needed it the most. There were always more than I could get to in any one day, so I tabulated a new list as I worked, preparing for tomorrow. I continued like this until late afternoon; I had only one bag left and it was time to make my appearance at the diner.

"Good afternoon, Miss Alice!" the manager called when I opened the door.

"Good afternoon, Thomas."

"Will you have your usual or would you like to try something new?"

"Just the soup, please." I smiled.

"Whatever you say, darlin'," he chuckled.

I sat at my usual stool, tucking the bag of food under the bar where it would be discreet.

Thomas always pushed me to try his specials, salads, sandwiches, fried chicken, or omelets. But he was used to my preference by now. I only ever ordered the plain tomato soup, made with water not cream. It was hot, wet, and salty. It tasted disgusting, of course. But it didn't make me feel like gagging immediately so it was slightly more bearable than chunky, slimy solid human food.

I decided to use the moment of peace while I waited for my order to check in on Jasper. I didn't feel guilty watching him as I did the Cullens. I knew that when he learned the truth he would be surprised but not offended.

I saw that not much had changed in his life. He was still with the female, Maria. They always kept a handful of young, strong, vampires ready in case someone attacked them. Jasper was allowed to hunt often, but hunting seemed to depress him.

I hoped he made his decision soon.

I was a little worried, too. How would this vampire, so used to fighting and blood, react when I asked him to forsake hunting humans and join a large, permanent, peaceful family with me? I couldn't see how he would react to that yet. But I couldn't help thinking that the dietary change alone would be hard for him. It would be like asking a human who ate bacon for breakfast, chicken for lunch, and steak for dinner every single day to suddenly go vegetarian.

It would surely seem like an odd suggestion: becoming a "vegetarian vampire". I chuckled quietly to myself at my little joke.

"Here you are, Miss Alice," Thomas announced, snapping me out of my reverie.

"Thank you," I beamed at him.

"Oh, Thomas?" I called as he turned away to polish his glassware. "Do you happen to have an envelope?"

"Sure thing. You need to mail something? I can drop it off for you tonight."

"No, thank you. It's for a letter but I'll be delivering it in person."

I started in on my soup, forcing myself to maintain a blank or thoughtful expression while I swallowed it.

I hated having to do this, but normal people had routines. Normal people had favorite restaurants, favorite foods. I could slip up on a lot of the things that normal people did, but if I slipped up with too many of them it would be noticed. And this - coming to a diner nearly every day and ordering the same thing - was one of the easier things to keep up and gave me more room to mess up in other areas - like swimming with friends at the beach on sunny days - without causing too much suspicion.

My mind wandered back to Jasper before long, not watching his future but just thinking about him. Ever since I'd learned how to control my visions I'd had an internal debate going on about whether or not I should just go track him down and steal him away from that world.

I wanted very much to find him, to reach out to him and ease the pain I could so easily read in his eyes. I wanted to take his hand and lead him away from all the suffering. I wanted to see him smile, hear him laugh.

But whenever I thought about it, the future would get all muddled. I wasn't sure if this was because I hadn't made a firm decision yet or if there was some other reason. But I was beginning to come to the conclusion that I shouldn't find him. _He_ should find _me_. It was the best way for him, the easiest for him to cope with. One of these days I would be living somewhere and he would come into my sphere. And that would be the right time. I had to be patient. The one thing I knew for sure, the one thing that was as clear and certain as the sun rising in the east, was that one day we would be together.

The longing for that day was almost painful.

"Who is he?" Thomas asked, handing me the envelope I'd asked for.

"I beg your pardon?"

"A lady doesn't get a look like that in her eyes unless she's in love." He nodded, knowingly.

In love? Me? With Jasper?

"Well?" Thomas pressed.

_Could_ I be in love? I didn't know. I had no prior experience to compare it to. All I really knew of love was what I'd seen in humans. It was caring deeply for someone, at your own expense, sometimes irrationally. I supposed how I felt for Jasper _did_ fit that description pretty well.

"He's..." I smiled shyly. "He's the only one for me." I shrugged.

"Ah, I see. Did he turn you down, then?"

He said the words without considering them first, catching me by surprise.

"No!" I answered, shock and confusion in my tone.

"I'm sorry," Thomas mumbled, blushing an appetizing pink. "I just assumed, given how sad you looked and all..."

"Oh," I sighed, a little relieved. "It's just that we're apart now. We won't be able to be together for awhile and I... I miss him," I explained, surprised at how true the words sounded.

"Well, I'm sorry for that, too, then."

"That's all right. I just need to be patient. It's not like I'm going to get all old and gray waiting." I laughed a little too hard at my private joke and he chuckled with me.

When I was done with my soup - "done" being at least two thirds of the way through the bowl - I paid my tab and wandered out into the streets again. I walked up to the library and returned the books I'd borrowed the previous day. I'd been studying the French language and was pretty sure I had all the grammar, syntax, and vocabulary I needed. I just had to work on my accent a little. I couldn't do that with a book, so I browsed for something new.

My eyes finally rested on a title I'd been avoiding whenever I came across it. I was a little worried about checking this one out for a couple of reasons. First, I didn't like the idea of reading horror, at least as it might apply to me. And second, I didn't want the librarian to see the title of the book and my face at the same time. There was a slight possibility that she just might make a connection there. But I was also morbidly curious. My curiosity finally got the better of me and I pulled Bram Stoker's Dracula off the shelf.

I did a little more browsing, picking up a couple poetry books as well before heading to the front counter and checking them out. The librarian smiled at me and didn't seem surprised or concerned at all when she saw the titles I'd selected. That was a good sign.

I walked back to my apartment, always in slow motion. It was amazing how much time could pass while merely walking a mile at human speed. When I finally entered the apartment building I paused before heading up the stairs, listening.

Daisy's apartment was empty. There were no heartbeats or any other sounds coming from her quarters. I would have just left the bag and envelope on her doorstep, but there was a chance that it would get stolen.

I checked quickly to make sure no one would see, then climbed up the wall to steal the key she kept hidden above her door frame. I entered her apartment and left the bag of food and envelope of money in the middle of her floor. Then quickly sneaked back out, locked the door, and returned her key to it's hiding place.

I smiled to myself. This would make Daisy and her son very happy, and she really did deserve it.

It was starting to get dark out. The street lamps were coming on.

I went to my room and ducked into the bathroom to expunge the tomato soup and bits of food I'd been compelled to sample at the market. It was not a pleasant experience. I didn't think I would ever get used to it.

Then I plopped down on my bed and grabbed my book, prepared to be entertained by a vampire story.

And it was entertaining. I could hardly help giggling at most of the crazy things the book claimed about vampires. I also cringed from time to time at how close to the truth some of the descriptions of the count were. Some of the mythology wasn't quite as far off as I had hoped it would be. I also had to admit that it was fairly well written. I was just at the part where Jonathan Harker was being seduced by Dracula's three wives when a sudden flash interrupted me and I was caught up in a vision.

My first reflex reaction was to think, No! Not Jasper! Whenever the future intruded on me like this it was because something big, and usually dangerous, was about to happen to me or someone I loved. Since I was alone in my room with no sound, sight, or scent of an approaching danger I feared that there was some danger to him, maybe a battle was about to go horribly wrong...

But it only took a fraction of a second for me to realize that this vision had nothing to do with Jasper or me.

It was the Cullens.

I wrestled with the vision, bringing it under control and focused on the near future. I was amazed at what I saw.

Carlisle was examining the body of a broken and bleeding woman. Of course he wasn't feeding on her, I was long past expecting anything like that from him. But as he examined her he was deciding something. The future wavered. It was a bizarre thing to see. I was watching Carlisle in nearly the present. The things I saw were happening just a moment after I saw them. But I could also see glimpses of things that would happen weeks and years later. They were out of focus and I wasn't really paying attention to them. Like things seen out of the corner of the eye.

Carlisle was suddenly resolved. He picked up the dying woman, carrying her in his arms, and took her to... his house?

What was he thinking? I scanned a little farther into the future, forgetting to feel ashamed at spying on them. When I'd gone about a day ahead I saw the woman in an empty room, writhing in pain. Her wounds all appeared to be healed. It didn't make any sense. How had her wounds healed so soon? And if she was no longer injured why was she in pain? And if she was in pain why wasn't Carlisle, a compassionate and skilled doctor, doing anything about it?

Carlisle, Esme, and Edward were there in the room with her.

"What were you thinking, Carlisle?" Edward asked, obviously irritated. "Rosalie Hale?" He said the name with distaste.

Carlisle looked down at the writhing blonde with sadness in his eyes.

"I couldn't just let her die," he murmured. "It was too much - too horrible, too much waste."

Edward looked away and shook his head.

"I know," he sighed, frowning at his father.

"It was too much waste. I couldn't leave her," Carlisle repeated, staring at the blonde woman, Rosalie.

"Of course you couldn't," Esme agreed, taking his hand, following his gaze.

"People die all the time," Edward reminded him. He still sounded irritated.

Carlisle and Esme shot him a reproachful glance at the same time. Edward looked a little chastened.

"Don't you think she's just a little recognizable, though?" he pressed. "The Kings will have to put up a huge search - not that anyone suspects the fiend." He growled the last part.

"Yes, I know," Carlisle answered. "We may have to move sooner than expected this time."

"What are we going to do with her?" Edward asked, irritation fading but still there in his voice.

"That's up to her, of course," Carlisle answered with a sigh. "She may want to go her own way."

And in that moment I was sure that Rosalie could hear and understand everything they said. Because in that moment the future in my peripheral vision became clear as crystal and I saw it all. She would choose to stay with them. She didn't want to be alone.

And something else became clear now, too. Something I sort of understood for a while, but only now did I really put the pieces together. Seeing the future vision of Rosalie, breathtaking and glorious, with marble-white skin and flaming red eyes.

Carlisle was changing her. He was creating a new vampire. Rosalie would be... my _sister_.

Considering that idea, I suddenly felt warm inside. I would have a sister! I wasn't sure exactly why, but the idea thrilled me.


	16. Visitor

**April 1918**

I wasn't sure how much time had passed, maybe a couple of weeks. I hadn't seen anything more of Mr. Matranga, but I _would_ be seeing him again. Of that I was certain. It seemed my gift would return in Mr. Dwight's absence. Unfortunately, I had also seen something very depressing. The night after Mr. Matranga's visit, as I had been settling down to sleep, I saw a vision of "my" funeral.

There were a lot of people there, extended family and friends that I hadn't seen in a long time. Most everyone was crying, but the worst part was seeing Dee there. At the end, when she approached the coffin, she knew the body in it wasn't mine.

She didn't take it well. She cried and screamed and almost lost her head. As I watched the vision I silently begged her to keep her mouth shut. Don't let them know, Dee!

But all she did was cry, "Alice! Alice! Alice!"

I knew it had to be hard for her. I wondered what she thought had happened. Maybe she thought there was a simple mix up and they sent the wrong body to the wrong funeral. Or maybe she would eventually get close enough to Mr. Matranga to know what was going on. I really didn't want that to happen. I didn't want my sweet little sister to get involved with this darkness.

Life in the asylum was tedious. Most of the time I just sat alone in my room - or was "cell" a better word? I was sure the boredom would drive me truly insane after a while. We ate three times a day. The food was very foul, usually a tasteless slop, stale bread, beans, potatoes, cold coffee, tea or water.

Twice, so far, I'd been allowed to go outside into the yard for short periods of time. It was a large field with gardens and trees, but it was fenced in. When I'd seen the gardens I was reminded of my friend, Mr. Dwight. But, though I walked amidst the gardens he must have tended, I didn't see him while I was out there.

My hair was starting to grow back a little. It was a thin, velvety layer on my scalp now. I wondered how long it would be allowed to grow before they would shear me again, and shuddered at the thought.

I was curled up on my hard mattress wrapped in my coarse blanket, shivering. I was waiting, like I did every night, to be tired enough to sleep despite the cold.

Suddenly I had a strange sensation. It was the off-balance feeling that I had only experienced once before, when I was with Mr. Dwight.

A few moments later there was a light tap on my door. It was so quiet I wasn't sure if I'd actually heard it or if it was my imagination.

"Miss Alice?" someone called softly from the other side of the door.

"Is that you, Mr. Dwight?" I asked.

"It is. May I... Is it acceptable to you if I enter?"

As miserable as I was, and even though I felt a little betrayed by him, I was still glad he was here.

"You can come in."

The latch clicked and the door creaked softly open. His figure was tall and dark in the shadows. I couldn't see his face.

"You're cold?" he asked.

"Yes," I shuddered again. "It's freezing in here!"

"One moment." He disappeared out the door. Before I could take another breath he walked back into the room, carrying an extra blanket.

"Th..thanks." I shivered when he wrapped it around me.

Now that he was closer I could sort of see him in the moonlight from my window. His face was every bit as beautiful as I remembered. In the silver colorless moonlight it looked like his eyes were a little lighter, the circles under them not as noticeable.

"Are they treating you well?" he asked.

"I don't know," I answered. "I suppose stealing all my clothes and shaving off my hair is standard protocol?"

"Yes." He frowned.

"They haven't hurt me if that's what you're asking. They haven't even tried any treatments on me."

"Yes, I know. That is why I was concerned."

"You were worried about me?" I asked, smiling a little in spite of my misery.

"When the doctor didn't bring you in for treatment, it made me think that there is another reason they have you here. I was worried about this before, when you told me that you would be forcibly admitted if you didn't come willingly."

"I think I know why now." I frowned. "Mr. Matranga came to see me the day after you brought me here."

"Mr. Matranga..." Mr. Dwight murmured. It sounded a little like a growl.

"Yes, he wants me to see the future for him. I'm not sure what he's looking for. He told my family that I'm dead so they wouldn't come looking for me." I whispered the last part so my voice wouldn't break. My throat got tight and I couldn't say anything more.

Mr. Dwight was watching me. It was too dark to read his expression well, but it looked almost like he was sad.

"I'm sorry," he said. "Mr. Matranga recently gave a large donation to the asylum in exchange for certain favors. I only learned about this shortly after bringing you here."

"What should I do?" I asked, mostly to myself.

"I'm not sure. You could go along with him, he would treat you well as long as you cooperated. But you would be helping a very bad man. And if he once thought you were betraying him he would likely kill you."

"I won't be anyone's tool!" I scowled.

I thought I saw him smile in the dark.

"Then you refuse to cooperate. He might attempt to make your life here miserable, but he believes you are valuable and he wouldn't harm you as long as he thought he might yet persuade you to his side."

"I guess that's what I'll have to do," I sighed. I was warming up nicely with the extra blanket and starting to feel sleepy.

"I should go and let you sleep," he said, and walked toward the door.

"No! Wait, please."

"Is there something else?" he asked looking back at me.

"It's just that... It's been so long since I've been able to talk to anyone. I would really like some company for a little while."

He looked away from me, staring at the ground.

"It's not really a good idea for us to be friends, miss Alice."

"Please? Just a little while? And I think you're the only one here who I would want to be friends with."

He sighed and sat on the opposite edge of the bed from me.

"Have you decided yet?" he asked.

"Decided what?"

"Whether or not this is a pleasant place?" He smiled grimly and I frowned.

"It would be better if it wasn't so boring. Also the food is terrible. I'm sure I'm going to be malnourished soon."

"The food?" he asked, sounding a little shocked. "What's wrong with the food?"

"Please! Have you tried it? Ugh. I don't know what's in that slop they give us for breakfast but it's disgusting. And we never get fruit or meat or vegetables. And the bread is always stale."

He seemed fascinated, watching my tirade. When I was done he looked thoughtful. After a long minute I remembered our conversation in the car. He'd told me what he does at the "hospital" and one of the things on his list was preparing the food.

Oops.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I... forgot."

"It's gruel," he said.

"What?"

"In the mornings. For breakfast I prepare millet gruel."

I could think of nothing to say to that.

"What would you prefer?" he asked.

"No, it's okay. Really, I shouldn't have complained."

"It would help me to know."

"Well... maybe oatmeal with raisins. Or even porridge. A little spice would be good if that's possible. Like cinnamon or nutmeg. And a piece of fruit once in a while would help. Just think of what you like for breakfast. Unless you like the gruel that is..."

"No," he smiled. "It was just easy to make in large quantities. And it's all I could think of, really. I'm not much of a cook."

I smiled at that. I would have laughed at the understatement, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings.

"You said it's boring here, too," he noted. Changing the subject, it seemed.

"Unimaginably boring. They leave me in this room all day. They've only let me outside twice this whole time. I don't even know how long I've been here, the days seem to blur together. I wish I at least had a book or something."

"Three weeks you've been here."

"Three weeks?"

"Yes."

"Wow."

"Do you still think you can return to your family?"

I thought about that for a long time before I answered in a small voice. "No, I don't."

"Why not?" he asked, but it didn't sound like a denial. More like he was checking to make sure I'd come to the proper conclusion.

"First of all, if I try to go back they'll know that my death and funeral were faked. They'll know someone was trying to use me, and it would be too dangerous for them to know that. They'd probably end up on a hit list. And also... because I don't see myself returning to them."

"I thought you couldn't see anything around me?"

"That's true, but only when you're close. When you leave it comes back. But I still can't see you no matter where you are. I wonder why that is?"

"I don't really know," he shrugged, looking away as if avoiding the subject. "You're probably right, though," he continued. "About your family, that is. It would be safer for them to stay in the dark about this. At least for now."

We sat in silence for a moment while I debated asking another question.

"Mr. Dwight?" I began, timidly. "May I ask...why do you care about me? I'm grateful, really, but... It must be an inconvenience to you, coming here to check on me and asking after my family. And before, when you offered to help me run away... Why did you even bother?"

"I don't truly understand it myself," he answered, cocking his head to the side as if he was having a hard time grasping something. "Somehow, you're different from the others. Not just what you can do, but who you are. All the others, manias aside, seem mostly only to care about themselves. But you... You care about other people. Even when I frightened you in the car, you were concerned for me more than for yourself. Then you allowed yourself to be committed to an asylum in hopes that you would one day return to your family. But now you learn that a criminal is bribing the superintendent in order to use your abilities. Yet you willingly stay here in order to protect them. There is something noble in you, and I admire it."

"Oh," I whispered and felt my cheeks warm. I was glad it was too dark for him to see that.

"I had better let you get some sleep," he said, rising from the bed.

"Mr. Dwight!" I called. I didn't want him to leave not knowing when or if I'd ever see a friendly face again.

"Alice," he answered quietly, looking back at me. "You may call me Alaric if you wish."

I beamed an invisible smile in the dark.

"Alaric, then. Will I see you again?"

He paused, considering. "Yes, I think you will." It sounded like he was smiling, but I couldn't see well enough to be sure.

Then he left.


	17. Brother

**September 1935**

I was wandering around in the Sault Sainte Marie forest of northern Michigan. The unusually sunny weekend was forcing me to keep out of the public eye. I'd already hunted enough to last me awhile, and now there wasn't much else to do for two more days until the clouds returned.

I had moved to Michigan mostly because I still felt the urge to not stay in one place for very long. It wasn't as bad as before I'd gone "vegetarian". But I didn't dare risk staying more than a couple of years in any one location. It was still so strange to me, living among humans as if I were one myself. I didn't trust myself to pull it off, even though I could easily see beforehand if someone was getting too suspicious of me.

I honestly tried not to spy on the Cullens. But just because I wasn't looking didn't mean I didn't_ see._ I couldn't help knowing what was going on with them. Their family had moved to a small town in West Virginia - a predictably cloudy city near a large forest. Rosalie had decided to stay with them, and so they obviously couldn't live in Rochester where she might have been recognized.

Before they left Rosalie'd had a moment of melodramatic revenge on the men who'd stolen her human life. It was half humorous, half pathetic, and completely disturbing. I tried to keep the visions of her torturing her would-be murderers out of my head until the events were safely in the past.

She and Edward didn't seem to get along very well at all. This upset Carlisle more than I thought it should. But he was a very compassionate vampire, so it did make sense that he would want a harmonious household. Esme just did everything in her power to keep the peace.

At first I had been ecstatic about the prospect of having a sister. But, after getting to know her better, I had to admit that I was more than a little bit jealous of Rosalie. I had been waiting for thirteen years so far to join the Cullen family. In some strange way I missed them, though I'd never actually met them. And she, by some twist of fate, had managed to join their family in a single night and she was _bitter_ about it. She didn't even know what she had. It peeved me.

I could see that there might be a lot of tension between us in the future.

I came across a lake and decided to go for a swim to distract myself. I glided effortlessly into the calm water. The sun glistened off my skin and danced on the waves. I sank beneath the surface and swam in lazy circles on my back, watching the light shifting and wobbling as the water moved.

I stayed there under the gentle ripples fighting the urge to use my gift to spy on the now-larger Cullen family.

I thought about Jasper instead. I recognized now that I truly loved him. I had learned a lot about him in the last thirteen years, a lot that I would need to conceal at first if I wanted to avoid terrifying him. I'd fit things together, bits and pieces of the big picture fit into place over time.

He was obviously a fighter first and foremost. As far as I could tell his entire existence revolved around the constant wars in the south. His first instinct was to think of everything from a militaristic perspective. He was also unusually empathic. Whenever he was with another vampire he seemed to understand how they perceived him, and how they felt about things. He also had a high level of compassion for his victims. I wondered how such an unusually sensitive vampire ever got mixed up in war. I would either have to ask him someday or just wait for the missing pieces of that puzzle.

Jasper also seemed to enjoy reading. Whenever he had the opportunity he would collect books. I'd even seen him sneaking into the human world to take books from libraries and bookstores. I usually kept tabs on the titles so I could find them later and read them myself. A lot of his choices reflected his violent life, but he also chose poetry, philosophy, history, and other scholarly works.

The light filtering through the water was shifting colors, changing from yellow-white to red-orange, to silvery indigo. I could safely go "home" now if I wished, but I would have to leave again tomorrow or stay inside all day.

I would have sighed at the thought, but I was still submerged and didn't want to get water in my lungs. Not that it would be painful, but it was a highly uncomfortable sensation, nonetheless.

I swam to the surface and splashed lightly to the shore, startling some deer that had ventured out of the trees for a drink.

Maybe I would have to find a place to live farther from the public eye next time. If I didn't live in town, then I could be free to come and go as I pleased regardless of the weather. I would need a lot more money to afford a move like that. It would have to be a house, not an apartment. Perhaps I would invest in a speculation. I would be good at that. Even though the stock market was at an all-time low _I_ would have no trouble predicting the trends and making a profit..

Then I reconsidered. At a time like this, with the economy the way it was, the money I gained would be money lost by other people who might not be able to afford it. It would drive the market down even further. I couldn't do that. It would be better, for now, to continue gambling on horse races, slot machines, and with the thugs who could afford to lose a fortune. Still, it might be good to invest in a stock or two now and hold onto them. In a few decades, when the economy recovered, I would have made enough money to last quite awhile. I would probably never need to gamble on the dark underbelly again. I just needed to find a good forger to get some legitimate-looking documentation for myself.

I was standing at the waterfront, gazing at the rising moon and making plans for the future, when I was caught up in another vision.

I found myself suddenly watching Rosalie stalking through the forest. She had easily adapted to the vegetarian diet and always hunted far from any civilization. She was in the Appalachian Mountains now, south of the Cullen's new residence. A gust of wind rustled through her hair and she caught a new scent. She darted in the direction of the oncoming breeze and I realized why this vision had intruded on me. I could tell from the frenzied look in her eyes that the scent she was tracking was not an animal. It was a human. What would happen next was inevitable.

I was about to push the vision aside. I didn't want to watch Rosalie fall off the wagon. Even though I didn't much care for her yet, I still respected her privacy enough to let her stumble without an unwelcome audience.

But then she came to the human and the vision suddenly changed when she saw him. He was a hiker, or perhaps a camper. A bear had attacked him and he lay in a pool of his own blood. My throat ripped into flames just seeing it in my mind. If I had been there, I would not have been able to resist giving into the need. But Rosalie...vain, conceited, _young_ Rosalie, broke off mid-hunt when she came upon him.

Instantly, my respect for the beautiful blonde female skyrocketed.

She gathered the broken man in her arms - he seemed somehow to be still alive - and ran with him. I watched in awe as she carried him back north, back to Carlisle. It took her a while, even though she was running as fast as she could with the dying man in her arms. It had to be nearly a hundred miles. Maybe more. All the while the man, dripping with fresh warm blood, was mere inches from her nose, her _mouth._

When she brought the man's body into the house Esme and Edward immediately retreated. I couldn't blame them. I would have, too.

Carlisle helped her lay the man out on the floor without jostling him too much.

"Please, Carlisle?"

"Rosalie... are you sure?"

"Yes, please! Before it's too late. You said it would be too much waste to have let me die. It would be far too much to let him. Just look at him!" Her voice broke and I saw an expression of pain in her eyes when she looked at the man; pain that had nothing to do with thirst.

The man was barely moving, but he was wincing in pain and groaned softly now and then.

"You have to save him. Please, I don't think I can do it myself!" Rosalie begged, her voice hitching.

Carlisle looked into her eyes for a moment and nodded.

The future swirled and shifted, dragging me along and the next moment I was seeing the Cullen family, now five strong. Rosalie and the new member in each others arms. In this vision I was finally able to really see this man who would be vampire. He was large, muscular, with curly black hair. His smile was huge and never seemed to fade as he gazed into Rosalie's eyes. Rosalie was gazing back at him, her eyes sparkling and a wondering smile stretched across her face. It was the first time I'd seen her expression without a hint of malice, disgust, condescension, superiority, or any of the other unpleasant looks I'd come to expect from her.

I smiled in spite of myself. I had to admit it; that was pretty darn romantic. Or, rather, it would be. And now the family would be even larger when Jasper and I joined.

I wondered momentarily if it would be Edward's turn next to find a partner. Forgetting to feel intrusive I scanned his future, curious to see if that was on the horizon.

I was still working out the timetable for my visions. I could tell easily when something was a mere second in the future. I could tell a few days to a week ahead if I tried. A month out and it got tricky. And I could tell when something was more than a year in the future, but it was hard to know if it was one year, two years, or even five years out. When I started looking into decades I was pretty much beyond my depth. I looked as far as I could into Edward's future, just curious and hoping not to stumble onto something I shouldn't see.

I was so far out that the world around us was starting to look unrecognizable. Things that might happen mixing up with things that certainly would happen. Houses, cars, and technology that I hadn't even considered possible swirled in a jumble around us. But Edward was still alone.

There was definitely a sense of uncertainty about it. I had the idea that there were yet decisions to be made that might affect the outcome. But, sadly, I saw nothing but solitude for him for a long time.


	18. Friend

**April 1918**

The sound of a key in my lock woke me again. The door creaked opened and a tiny elderly nurse shuffled in with my breakfast tray.

I rubbed my bleary eyes and groggily propped myself up on my elbow.

She set the tray on the floor by my bed and shuffled back out. When my eyes focused I was amazed at what I saw: a bowl of oatmeal, still hot and steaming, with brown sugar and cinnamon sprinkled on it. There was an apple, a slice of toast with butter, a glass of water and a small glass of what seemed to be fresh cream.

I had no idea how Mr. Dwight... _Alaric_... would have managed such a feat overnight. I also felt a little guilty. My criticism must have really affected him.

I picked up the tray and ate everything gratefully, it tasted wonderful. The cereal was hot and sweet, the cream was cold and frothy, the apple was crisp and juicy, even the water tasted delightful.

A little while after I was finished with breakfast one of the attendants came for me and I was taken out into the lawn. It must have been my turn to go outside.

The day was warm and sunny, and I hoped to see Alaric out in the garden. I wandered among the flowers, trees, and shrubs, wondering if I might just stumble across him and thank him for the change in menu. But he was nowhere to be found.

I had a lot of time on my hands and decided to walk along the fence, as close to freedom as I could get. There was an area where the wilderness encroached on asylum territory; perhaps an acre of the lawn was completely wild in one corner. I felt hopeful as I meandered into the little piece of forest. From here I could not see the manicured lawn, or the gardens, or the asylum at all. It felt almost like I was escaping.

I danced through a shallow sea of ferns, enjoying the false sense of freedom and solitude. Sunlight streamed greenly through the branches above. Eventually I came to a large flat rock among the foliage. I sat on it and pulled my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them. It was chilly here in the shade once I stopped moving. I closed my eyes and listened to the leaves rustling, the birds singing. I wished I could just stay there and not go back.

Too soon, I heard the attendants calling for everyone to gather again. I briefly considered mutiny, but there was no hope for that. I was still inside the fence; they would find me and then I wouldn't be allowed to come outside at all. It wasn't a vision; it was just inevitable.

The rest of the day was more of what I'd come to expect. It was bath day so I was obliged to take an assisted sponge bath and put on a clean gown. Lunch and dinner were both vast improvements over previous meals. There was vegetable soup with fresh rolls and cheese for lunch. And we had boneless chicken cutlets, brown rice pilaf, and steamed carrots for dinner. If I ever saw Alaric again I would have to thank him profusely.

After the group supper we were all taken back to our rooms. I immediately noticed a change when I walked through the door. My blankets, rather than lying in a pile on one side of my bed, were laid out flat. There was also a pillow where there had been none before.

I went to sit on my bed and examine the pillow, as if to make sure it was real, when I noticed yet another change. The smell. I had gotten so used to the odor of stale urine I almost didn't notice it anymore. But the mattress didn't smell at all. It was still a hard lumpy straw mattress, but it was quite an improvement nonetheless.

I put my hand on the pillow and felt something hard underneath. I lifted it to see what was concealed there and gasped. There, hidden beneath my pillow, were three of my books, laid side by side on the mattress. Through the Looking Glass, The Princess and the Goblin, and A Midsummer Night's Dream.

I couldn't move or even breath for a moment, shocked as I was. Then my breath came out in what was almost a sob and almost a laugh. I was grinning so hard my face hurt but there were tears running down my cheeks.

I snatched up the first book and hugged it tightly to my chest, laughing out of pure joy. Then I scooted back to lean against the hard stone wall and began reading immediately, loosing myself in the adventures of a different Alice.

I wasn't sure how long I sat there, curled up on my bed and reading. But eventually the light dimmed too much for me to make out the words anymore. So I lay the book on the floor - face down and open to hold my spot - crawled under the covers and snuggled my new pillow, luxuriating in the comfort it offered.

Just as I was closing my eyes a very familiar off-balance sensation crept up on me. A few moments later I heard a tap at the door and sat up excitedly. I didn't hesitate this time but called "Come in!" loud enough for him to hear but hopefully quiet enough to not be overheard by others.

The key turned in the lock and the door opened. The familiar dark figure of my friend Alaric glided gracefully into the room.

_"Thank_ you!" I breathed fervently before he had a chance to say anything. "For everything, thank you so much."

"You're welcome," he answered quietly in his mesmerizing voice.

"The food today was much better," I informed him. "And I'm not just saying that to avoid hurting your feelings." I grinned.

"I tried to take your advice. I ended up reading a cookbook... or two. I'm glad my experiment was a success. Meal preparation did take a good deal longer today than usual... but perhaps that's a good thing."

I was afraid of crossing the line, but my curiosity was running wildly out of control. Something he'd just said sounded so unbelievable I had to ask.

"You read two cookbooks last night? And you were able to gather all the ingredients for our meals today? All after staying with me for hours after sunset? How did you manage it?"

He hesitated, then came closer, sitting on the edge of my bed again.

"I'm not sure if I should tell you," he answered, hesitantly.

I watched him for a minute.

"You can trust me," I told him, solemnly. "I know I sometimes seem flighty, but I can keep a secret."

He chuckled. "As long as you're in on it?"

I smiled. "That's right."

"Alice... you know I'm different."

"I know there's something different about you. But that's okay." I shrugged. "There's something different about me, too."

"Not like this..." he whispered, so low I thought he was talking to himself.

"Whatever it is, I promise I won't tell anyone."

He thought about that for a while. "I'm not even certain that I'm concerned about that anymore. I'm more worried that..." He turned his piercing eyes on me. They were somehow intense even in the shadows. "...That you will be frightened."

"Well, you are sort of intimidating. I admit that. And I have been frightened of you before, even though I'm not sure why." I scowled, remembering the irrational terror I used to feel just being near him. "But I believe that you are a good person. I can see that easily enough." I was a little embarrassed telling him all of these things. But I felt that my open honesty might help him.

"You aren't frightened of me now?" he asked, sounding surprised.

"No, not really."

He was cocking his head to the side, as if trying to understand or trying to hear something.

"But... then why...?"

"Why what?"

"Never mind."

I took a deep breath and let it out in a huff.

"Will you at least tell me how you managed to fix the food so fast?" I griped, whining a little.

He chuckled and thought about it for a minute before answering. "I'll tell you a little, I suppose. It might be a shock to you, though," he warned.

"I can handle it," I promised.

He watched me carefully, then decided I meant it.

"I didn't sleep last night."

I waited for the shocking revelation, but he didn't add anything more.

"That's it?"

"I was awake the whole night. I read two cookbooks, cover to cover. I went to the market and called in some favors to get a few ingredients I needed delivered early this morning. I threw out the food I don't intend to use anymore. I delegated new assignments to the kitchen assistants and reorganized the kitchen to accommodate the new menu plans."

"All last night?"

"Correct."

"So... were you sleeping today? Is that why I didn't see you outside?"

He hesitated again.

"No. I wasn't sleeping today," he sighed. "I haven't really told you what I intended to. I'm sorry. Let me try again."

"Okay."

"I... don't... sleep," he said very slowly. Like he was trying to hold the words in and trying to force them out at the same time.

"You don't? Not ever?"

"I can't. I haven't slept in a very long time."

"Oh," I felt a wave of sympathy for him. How horrible that must be. "I'm sorry. Isn't there anything a doctor can do? A medicine that can help?"

"No." It sounded like he was smiling. "Don't worry about me. I don't even get tired, so it's not so bad."

"But, Alaric, people need to sleep. Your health will fail you if you don't." I reached out, instinctively, and rested my hand on his arm. I was surprised at how hard his muscles felt under his shirtsleeves.

His eyes met mine then, and he carefully pulled his arm away.

"Like I said, don't worry about me. I'm quite healthy."

That confused me even more. I looked down, trying to piece the puzzle together.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked.

"It doesn't make sense. I don't want to think you're lying to me, but why else would you be so pale, and not want to go into the sun, and not be able to sleep?"

He stiffened as I spoke, then rose to his feet.

"It's starting to get late. I should leave."

"Wait! No, I'm sorry. I won't ask any more questions."

"Alice..." He looked back at me and hesitated.

"Really. I was just worried about you, that's all. If you say you're healthy I won't question it," I promised.

He paused a little longer then sat on the stool by the door and looked at me. On the other side of the room he was in the darkest shadows, the moonlight from my window didn't reach him there and I could no longer see his face.

"Are you still having nightmares?" he asked.

I was surprised that he remembered about that.

"Sometimes. It's not as bad as before... It's like I'm numb to some of them."

"And you still can't see anything when I'm near?"

"Not a thing. I'm getting used to it. I can always tell when you're nearby because... Well I don't know how to describe it. I sort of feel like there's something missing. Sort of off-balance."

"That's very interesting. I wonder..." He trailed off.

"What?"

"I think I will tell you one more of my secrets," he said in a lighter tone. Like he was changing the subject.

"I knew there was more." I smiled.

"Of course you did." It sounded like he was smirking. "But I think you would be particularly interested in this one."

"So... what is it?"

"Do you have a memory of something very painful, something you would very much like to forget?"

I thought about that for a little while. Then I remembered what I'd learned about Father and his "special" female friend. I shuddered and nodded.

"What if you could forget it? Would you, if you really could?"

"Are you saying that... you can make yourself forget things?"

He shook his head. "No, I can make other people forget things."

I stared at him, considering that.

"Really? So if you did that to me it would be like I never saw..."

"You would never be able to remember it, not even if you wanted to. If you wrote down the memory beforehand, you would be able to learn what it was, but it would only be the written record. You still wouldn't be able to recall the painful images, sounds, or thoughts associated with it. It's irreversible, as far as I can tell. So it's not something I lightly decide to do."

"How does it work? I mean, how do you know which memory to take away? Can you see the memories yourself?"

I probably should have felt silly asking for clarification on something so unnatural. But I was only curious. The bizarre had been a part of my life for so long, with my visions of the future and Dee's visions of the past, it felt normal.

"I can search through memories, and I experience them as I do," he answered. "But that takes a lot of time. It's much easier to erase large chunks of time than to sort through specifics. Then I don't have to see what I'm taking. The more I erase, the longer it takes. For example, if the person was an old man and I needed to erase one year of his youth, it would take about four hours. I would have to find the time frame, then selectively erase the right portion."

"Can you do it from a distance? Or do you have to be close?"

"I need physical contact. But once the process is started, I can leave and allow it to finish itself."

"What does that mean?"

"The process in the mind takes longer than my actions do. So, for example, if I were to erase the last two days of your memory, I would only need a moment of contact with you. But you would be unconscious for a little over a minute while your mind adjusted to the change."

I thought about this for a while.

"This is very interesting," I admitted.

He smiled at me. "And you were right before, it _is_ strange to have someone accept such an unusual ability so easily."

I giggled. "Yeah, and I thought _I_ was a freak." Then something else occurred to me, my brow furrowed while I considered it.

"What are you thinking about now?" he asked.

"I was thinking, maybe the reason I can't see you is because you're different, like me."

He shook his head. "No, I'm pretty sure that's not it."

"Then what do you think it is?"

"I think it's because I'm even _more_ different than you are."

I laughed at the impossibility of such a thing.

"I think I'd really better go now," he said, rising from the stool. "Remember to hide those books under your mattress before they come to tend your room in the morning."

"Alaric?" I called as he was leaving.

"I'll be back tomorrow night," he promised with a smile in his voice.

"Thank you," I sighed, relieved to have a real friend in this hopeless place.


	19. Together

**September 1948**

I skipped out of my shack and flew down the gravel path and onto the dirt road heading into town. I was so excited I very nearly took the door off it's hinges as I darted away. I only slowed down when I reached a curve in the road that would bring me into view of humans.

I was living in a small forgotten building in the undeveloped outskirts of Camden, New Jersey. I'd fixed it up quite a bit, but it was still considered uninhabitable so it had to be kept a secret. I only kept the place so I would have somewhere safe and dry to store all of my props.

I'd been reorganizing my shoe collection when I'd seen a vision that had changed the outlook for my entire day. Jasper was going to be passing through Philadelphia, just across the river! I was so giddy I could barely keep from bouncing up and down as I walked.

Jasper was here at last! After twenty-eight years of waiting he finally came to me!

A couple years ago he defected from that horrible vampire war-zone in the south at last. He'd had quite enough, so when his friend Peter told him there were other ways to live, he immediately abandoned Maria and everything else in the south.

I'd been tempted to track him down then. But I could tell that it wasn't time yet. And I remembered my resolve to let _him_ come to _me._

He stayed with his friend Peter, and Peter's mate Charlotte, for a time. It was hard for them, though, to be together. They were good friends, but Peter and Charlotte seemed to be uncomfortable around him for some reason I couldn't fathom. So after another year Jasper left his friends, and ventured out on his own.

It had taken almost all my self-discipline to keep from hunting him down then. But I managed to wait, somehow. And, after two more years of waiting, it was worth it. He was finally coming to me!

Or at least he might, possibly.

There was a chance, anyway...

He could always change his mind and move on before we actually met. In fact, if he caught my scent before seeing me in person he probably would skip town. He wasn't in the mood to make a new acquaintance; he hadn't been for many years. So I had to be very careful where I went in case there was a chance he would cross my path.

I could see the areas he would likely visit today. I had to hurry if I was going to be sure of getting ahead of him, especially since I would be taking a roundabout route to keep him form catching my scent.

I crossed the river, moving painfully slow while cars passed me at speeds I could easily exceed. One of these days I would have to learn how to drive. Even fifty miles per hour would be better than having to walk at a human pace.

Once I was back on land I sneaked onto back roads and alleys - sometimes climbing onto rooftops when I could get away with it - and was able to travel much faster. This method of travel was easy for me, easier than it would be for any other vampire even. Normal vampires couldn't know a half second before a human looked their direction to be able to slip silently out of sight just in time.

After about an hour I had traveled far enough west to come about and approach Jasper's path from the opposite side, the side that kept him from detecting me in advance. Now I just needed to find a place to wait for him.

I concentrated on Jasper's future, trying to discern where he might go.

He would travel west through the city. Later in the day it would start raining and then he might choose to enter an establishment of some sort to stay dry, trying to act like a human. He was thirsty today, so his dark eyes would make mingling with humans less conspicuous. This also meant that he was more dangerous to them and would likely be in a bad mood, too. But I would see what I could do about that when the time came.

I couldn't be positive where he would be when the rain started, but I had a good idea of the general location. So I ghosted through the alleys, flew down unused dirt roads and trails, and skipped to a stop near a small old diner.

This place was my best bet. If it didn't happen here today I might be waiting years for him to come so near again. I took a deep breath, trying to settle down. My excessive excitement might have been dangerous to delicate things nearby, like humans, cars, buildings… Even so, I couldn't help dancing as I approached the diner. I breezed through the door, ignoring the wide eyes and murmurs of surprise from the other patrons, and settled onto a high stool at the counter.

The young waiter gawked at me when he saw me sitting there.

"Good morning," I sang, grinning widely, showing my teeth. I wasn't trying to frighten him, I was just in such a good mood I couldn't help myself.

"Oh!" His heart was suddenly racing. I felt a teensy bit guilty for scaring him. He shook his head, snapping out of it. "Um, yeah. Good mornin', miss. What can I get for you?"

I hadn't really thought about that part. I frowned a little, considering. I didn't really want Jasper's first encounter with me to involve retching up human food.

"Is it okay if I just have a water?" At least that would stay down, even if it didn't do anything for my thirst and made me feel uncomfortably sloshy.

"Sure, no problem!" he answered, enthusiastically. "I haven't seen you around here before," he continued.

"I live in Camden," I told him, too happy to be irritated by his prodding.

"What brings you way out here?" he asked, setting the glass of water in front of me.

"I'm meeting someone." I beamed. Saying it out loud made it feel more certain and my spirits were flying again.

"That's nice," he said, smiling back at me. "Let me know if I can get you anything else."

"Sure." I grinned. I appreciated him leaving me alone. Usually men pressed their company on me as long as they could manage it. It was nice to have a reprieve from the norm, especially today. I was very distracted.

I sat at the counter, sipping my water, and gazing out the front windows. The minutes ticked by and the other patrons snuck surreptitious glances at me when they thought I wouldn't notice. I was used to that by now. I could tell that, in this instance, it wasn't because they were frightened of me. They were fascinated.

I scanned the future, Jasper's and mine. It was still not very certain and I felt my hopes diminish slightly. What if he didn't come here? What if he was a minute or two too fast and farther west when the rain hit? If that happened he might cross my scent. He might not think much of it at the time, but he would recognize it the next time we met and that might make him more wary.

I concentrated, worried that I'd made a mistake. But I couldn't see that happening. If Jasper didn't come into this diner he would veer further north when the rain started, keeping out of the most populated areas. He wouldn't cross my trail. I sighed, relieved.

I wanted to see more details, but there were too many variables for me to be certain on much. In order to narrow down the options I committed to staying there on that stool until either Jasper walked in the door or I was certain he was headed out of town. Once I decided that things cleared up quite a bit. All the possibilities that included me leaving the diner disappeared.

There were four clear options now. Jasper might not make it to the diner on time. He might pass the diner before the rain hit. He might be at the diner when the rain hit but decide not to enter. Or, he might reach the diner at just the right time and decide to come in out of the rain.

The suspense was terrible.

"Miss?" The waiter was trying to get my attention. I snapped out of it.

"Yes?" I asked.

"I can bring you some hot water and lemon free of charge if you like. I know it's a bit chilly out there today."

"That would be nice, thank you." He was a considerate person. I would leave a nice tip.

I watched the sky darken as the storm clouds rolled in. It was the middle of the day but it looked like nightfall was coming early.

My hot water arrived and I sipped at it. The heat made it more bearable, but I was thirsty today and the mouthwatering aroma of all the humans around me made the water much more unpleasant in comparison than it normally would have been.

I continued gazing out the windows as minutes turned into hours. Other patrons came and went, and I never left my stool.

"More hot water, miss? Or would you care to order something?"

"More water will be fine," I answered with a small smile.

"I hope your friend isn't standing you up." He frowned a little. His protective concern was sort of cute. "Do you need to use the telephone to call them?"

"No, but thank you for offering. He might be a while yet, but it's okay."

I caught just a hint of disappointment in his expression when I said "he", but the young waiter nodded and refilled my hot water with no further comment.

I checked on Jasper. He was much closer now, walking down the road at human speed. In a half mile he would be passing the diner. About that time the light mist outside would turn to rain. He could still decide to pick up his pace and be beyond the diner when that happened. He could also decide not to come in, but continue on in the wet. But it looked hopeful. It was very likely that his pace would remain steady, which would put him outside the diner about thirty seconds after the rain started falling. And when that happened, I couldn't be sure, but he might decide to come in.

I sipped my water, crossed my ankles, and twisted my short hair around my index finger. It was hard to remember to act human when so much of my mind was preoccupied. I took a deep breath through my mouth, trying to stay calm.

Jasper needed me to be calm. I could see that much. I had to be honest with him, but not overwhelming. If I tried to hide my excitement he would get suspicious. But I also couldn't jump up and run to him. That would frighten him. So I had to restrain myself a little.

The lunch hour was over now and the diner was half empty. Jasper was very close, and the rain was starting to fall. I saw the millions of drops of water streaking past the window. I heard them hammering on the roof.

_Sip your water. Uncross your ankles. Smooth your dress. Remember to blink._

The rain started pouring harder, the wind howled against the building. Jasper approached the diner and paused, considering... I saw the future shifting back and forth as he was deciding whether or not to move on.

_Breathe. Blink. Fidget._

Then, all at once, the future flashed clear and strong. I felt like my chest would explode with relief and excitement. He'd decided to come in!

I couldn't help the huge grin that spread across my face. I quickly reached into my purse and left an outrageous tip for the kind waiter, knowing I probably wouldn't remember to in a few seconds.

The vision was so strong now it was hard to let it go. Like other important visions it was forceful and I had work to make myself come into the present. I didn't want to see this in a vision, I wanted to experience it here and now!

My eyes were riveted on the old wooden door. It creaked open, the little silver bell rang announcing a new customer to the staff.

_He_ entered.

His eyes were very dark, just a hint of ruby around the edges. His blonde wavy hair was dripping from the rain. His face, though scarred from hundreds of battles, was more beautiful than I had ever imagined it would be. My visions hadn't done him justice. His walk was casual, weary even. But the moment the warm air from inside engulfed him he stiffened and his eyes, wide in alarm, darted around until they found me. He'd caught my scent.

I'd been expecting that.

I hopped off my stool, still grinning, and walked to him without hesitation.

He was clearly bewildered, and a little frightened of my advance. But I knew better than to pretend there was anything going on other than the truth. So I said the first thing that came to mind.

"You've kept me waiting a long time."

This confused him even more. But, to my extreme amusement, he ducked his head in apology. "I'm sorry, ma'am."

I stifled a laugh and held my hand out to him. An offer. He took it, and in that moment I suddenly felt whole. Like my life until then had only been half complete. I felt amazement, wonder, and hope swelling in my chest. The emotions were so profound, so strong, it was like they were pouring into me from the outside.

He was watching me with his dark, thirsty eyes. But a smile was starting to form at the corner of his mouth.

"You want to get out of here?" I asked.

He hesitated for a fraction of a second, and then he nodded.

I turned back to the waiter.

"Thank you for letting me wait here. My friend finally arrived."

"I'm glad for you," he answered. Then he looked at Jasper. He was clearly intimidated by the extremely dangerous vampire that just entered his diner. But he frowned and spoke his thoughts anyway. "You really shouldn't keep a lady waiting so long, it's rude."

I laughed at the baffled expression on Jasper's face. But he dipped his head in apology again and answered the waiter confidently.

"I assure you, sir, it won't happen again."

We ducked out the door into the downpour and hurried out of sight.

Once we were in relative privacy, at least for the next three minutes, I saw that Jasper wanted to get a formality out of the way. So I paused and let him.

"I feel I ought to introduce myself," he said, uncertainly. "Though it seems somehow you already know me. My name is Jasper. I'm charmed to make your acquaintance."

I was still thrilling at the feeling of his hand in mine and smiled when I answered him.

"My name is Alice. I'm very glad to finally meet you, too."

His expression was baffled again. He chuckled, though, shaking his head. "Do you mind my asking what exactly is going on?"

"It will take a little while to explain, and we can't stay here. We could go back to my place, or we can hide in Fairmount Park until dark."

"Your place? You have a residence?" He asked this as though he was sure he must have misunderstood my meaning.

Just then the future shifted. A group of youths were going to duck behind the building where we were hiding in hopes it would be a shortcut to the diner. They were in a hurry to get dry. Jasper was too thirsty to handle their close proximity in this conveniently private location.

"Oh!" I gasped. "We'd better start moving. Please come with me." I tugged on his hand and he followed willingly. We hurried through the pouring rain and wind. Almost all the humans were inside by now, those that weren't were in their cars, but visibility was very low with all the water pouring on their windshields, so we could move much faster than normal.

I took Jasper north. The park was only a mile away. No humans would be there in weather like this. I was certain we would be in seclusion. It took us about four minutes to get there. When we were surrounded by trees swaying in the wind we stopped and I let go of Jasper's hand. I felt a little sad to do so, but I was afraid to make him uncomfortable.

He looked at me with questioning eyes, waiting for my brilliant explanation.

I smiled. "I'm a clairvoyant."

His eyes widened, but he didn't respond.

"I can see the future, so I've known for a very long time that I would meet you," I clarified.

"Really?" he asked, then shook his head and frowned. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to doubt your word. But it's just so - "

"Weird?"

"I was going to say 'unexpected'."

"I know," I grinned. "But I think 'weird' is more appropriate."

"So... you're saying that you saw that I would go into that diner, and waited there for me?"

"Not really. I saw that I would meet you someday. I didn't see you going into that particular diner until about five seconds before you did. That's when you made the decision. I was waiting there all day because I saw it was the most likely place to ambush you." I grinned.

It looked like he was about to say something, but he decided against it before I could really see what it was. He seemed to change his mind and said something else.

"I'm sorry, Miss Alice. I'm just having a difficult time fully... comprehending what you're telling me."

"That's okay. I'll try to explain better. Let's see... I mostly see my own future. But I can only see the future of the path I'm on while I choose to be on it. If I change my mind, my future changes. It's the same with everyone else. If you change your mind, the future I see for you changes. That's why I couldn't see you going into the diner before you decided to. Sometimes, though, the decision is obvious. If it was firmly in your character to do something when an opportunity presented itself, I would see that easily because you wouldn't have to make a decision when the time came."

"So if it were my usual habit to always enter diners to get out of the rain..."

"Then I would have seen it right away, even before the rain started falling." He seemed to be catching on. But his eyes were still guarded.

"Miss Alice, I'm pleased that you are so happy to meet me, but... I can't help but feel that I'm missing something."

He was right. It would be a little odd for me to go out of my way to meet someone at a diner if there wasn't some reason to do so. I looked down, slightly embarrassed.

"You're right. There is more," I confessed. I looked back up into his eyes, they were staring at me in confusion.

"I see us..." - Passionately loving one another for all eternity? That might be a bit much for him right now. - "...traveling together. In a few years we'll join a large coven - " His eyes widened in alarm." - in the north." He relaxed a little. "They have an unusual way of living alongside humans peacefully. I've been practicing with it for awhile, but they are much better at it than I am. Really they're more of a family than a coven. We'll be happy with them."

There was a long pause as he absorbed this new information. He must have had a lot of questions. He looked away and seemed to be trying to decide which one to ask.

"How do they do it?" he finally asked.

I watched him carefully as I answered the question.

"They don't hunt humans. They hunt animals."

"Animals...?" he murmured, a hint of disbelief coloring his tone. I felt a small wave of doubt, but I wasn't sure why.

"It is fairly disgusting," I admitted. "They take a lot of getting used to, but they do take the edge off the thirst and keep you strong. I think of it like a human going vegetarian. It's not completely satisfying, but it works. Also, on a diet of animal blood your eyes turn gold, not red. So it's easier to mingle with humans, that makes living a normal life a lot easier."

He looked into my eyes, noting the slight ring of gold around my irises. He shook his head. "I have to admit, Miss Alice, it's difficult for me to believe what you're telling me."

"I had trouble believing it even when I saw it for myself. But Carlisle is really a remarkable vampire. He's been doing it for a very long time and I've never once seen him hunt a human. The level of self discipline he has attained is beyond anything I would have thought possible." My voice was full of admiration, but I was surprised by a small twinge of jealousy. Where did that come from? I'd never felt jealous of Carlisle before.

Jasper was watching me carefully, then he took a breath and spoke slowly.

"So, you and I - " I smiled, enjoying the sound of that. " - will travel together to find this...family of vampires that feeds on animals, and Carlisle is their leader."

"That's right. I'm not sure how long it will take yet." I frowned. Maybe I should have been paying more attention to that part. "But it shouldn't be too hard. They don't move around very much. They usually buy a house and live there for several years before moving on."

"Unbelievable," Jasper murmured. He was gazing at me in a peculiar way. "So where do they live now?"

"They're in Kalispell, Montana now. They've been there for a while."

I focused, looking into the Cullens' future plans and possible outcomes. They'd stay in Montana for another year and a half at least. Then they'd probably move to Astoria, Oregon. If we went to them now it would be very awkward. They already had their stories straight, their legal documents, their alibis. If we just showed up out of the blue and joined we'd be accepted, but it would be difficult. They would want to move sooner, to start fresh in a new city. All the better to maintain their perfect facade. Rosalie would be irritated.

But if we waited and met them as they were moving into their new home in Astoria it would go much smoother. We would be able to fit ourselves seamlessly into their act without raising too many questions from the humans. I decided it would be better to gradually make our way to the west coast and meet them there.

"Miss Alice? Are you all right?" Jasper was watching me, concerned.

"Huh? Oh, I'm sorry." His worried expression was unchanged. "Don't worry, there's nothing wrong with me. I was just checking on the Cullens, Carlisle's family. They will move to Oregon in a little less than two years. It would be best for us to meet them there. They are already established where they're at and I don't think we should interfere."

"You were seeing the future just now?" he asked.

"Yeah, I sort of phase out when I do. I can't see the future and the present at the same time." I shrugged. He relaxed a little, but still seemed a tiny bit worried.

"So when you're seeing the future you're vulnerable?"

"Vulnerable? What do you mean?"

"I mean, if you were in a battle you wouldn't be able to use your ability. You wouldn't be able to see what was going on around you if you were trying to see what was about to happen."

I smiled, feeling a little smug. "Maybe I'll show you sometime exactly how vulnerable I am in a fight." Once the decision was made the future flashed and I saw the inevitable outcome. I laughed out loud. It would be good!

His concerned expression relaxed a little bit. "You must already know what I can do, then," he said smiling.

I was surprised; something I wasn't particularly used to. "You have an extra ability, too?"

"I thought you would know. You seem to know so much about me already." He seemed puzzled.

"No. What is it?"

"I can sense and manipulate the emotions of people... and vampires around me."

I just stared at him, processing that and working out why I hadn't been able to see it before.

"You're surprised," he noted.

"It's probably the one thing I wouldn't be able to see in a vision," I admitted. "How could I have seen that, unless you happened to be telling someone about it when I was seeing your future for some other reason."

"You never saw a vision of me telling _you_ about it? It's not something I ever intended to keep a secret, so it was bound to happen eventually."

"I was so focused on our first meeting," I admitted, shaking my head. "I usually have to be looking for something specifically to see it clearly. And after our meeting, I was mostly focused on finding the Cullens." I looked up at him and smiled sheepishly. "I will admit that I watched you a lot. I kept tabs on your future, checking on you. I was worried about you. But this window," I opened my arms to indicate the present. "The time from now up to when we finally join our family, I never paid very much attention to it."

Then something else clicked in my mind. "Wait... you can sense all the emotions I'm feeling?"

He smiled, warmly. "As I said."

It took me a second to decide if I was more embarrassed, amazed, happy, or relieved. I finally threw all those out and settled on amused. "No wonder!" I laughed.

"What's so funny?" Jasper asked, chuckling a little with me.

"A few years ago I considered playing it cool when we first met. I thought that if I acted disinterested at first it might be easier for you. But I saw that you would be suspicious of me if I tried that approach. I never understood why, but now it makes sense! If you felt these emotions coming from me while I tried to make small talk of course you wouldn't trust me."

He chuckled again, looking a little bit self-conscious. "I will freely admit that I hardly knew what was happening when you approached me. I had no frame of reference for it. All I could think was that you might be planning to attack..."

He stopped talking when I frowned.

"You really thought _I_ would attack _you?"_

His eyes were sad. "I was born in the south. My entire existence was ruled by war for almost a hundred years. It wasn't until only a few short years ago that I finally escaped that."

I could see he didn't really want to talk about the past. So I kept it light. "I know. You'll tell me more about that sometime. But for now it's enough that neither of us is going to do any attacking. Agreed?"

"Agreed." He smiled. I'd never seen him smile so much before. Just seeing it made me feel warm inside.

"The sun will be setting soon. Would you like to hunt with me?" I offered.

The grin instantly vanished and he was suddenly wary and uncertain. Now that I understood the nature of his gift I was starting to distinguish the emotions radiating from him from my own. It was very subtle.

"I mean we should hunt animals. It's usually better to go after them in the daytime while they're still active. But in this storm it doesn't matter, I just think it's better to get it out of the way so we can travel in the dark tonight."

"You'll show me?" He seemed hesitant.

"Gladly. Afterwards we can stop by my place and tie up all the loose ends there before moving on."

"I am curious. I think I would like to try it."

"You're still not sure if it's possible, are you?" I accused, smirking a little.

"You're right."

"Don't worry," I assured him. "It works. It just takes practice."

I stood and held my hand out for him again. He took it and I felt a wave of relief. I wasn't sure if it was his or mine. I smiled and led him southeast.

The wind and rain was so thick by now that I doubted if the humans could see us even if they were looking right at us. But we were still careful. My usual hunting grounds were about twenty miles east of Camden and it took much longer to get there with Jasper than it would have taken me alone. I didn't want to push him to trust me, that would come eventually, so I let him be cautious.

After about an hour we entered the deep green woods and could really move. I let go of his hand and we took off, flying swift as the wind through the trees. I watched Jasper run with graceful and powerful yet understated movements; the run of a vampire who is confident in his abilities.

I stopped when we got to a likely spot.

"Give me a minute to make sure it's safe, okay?" I asked.

"You're going to look into the future?"

"Yep," I answered brightly. "Just a sec." I scanned ahead. I was pretty sure no humans would be out here today. But it was still a possibility that someone might have gotten lost in the woods, caught off guard by the inclement weather.

It was all clear. And, providentially, there was a herd of deer nearby and a pair of black bears a few miles to the south.

I refocused on the present and was a little surprised at the slightly protective edge to Jasper's feelings as he scanned the woods surrounding us. Had I missed some danger? I did a quick check to be sure, but nothing was coming.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

His eyes flashed to my face.

"Nothing," he answered, innocently.

"Were you trying to protect me?"

He looked at me with edge of guilt and embarrassment to his emotions.

I wanted to roll my eyes, but I smiled instead. It was sort of sweet.

"That's really not necessary, you know. If there was anything dangerous nearby I'd see it."

"Forgive me," he said. "It's hard for me to let my guard down."

I reached out, slowly so as not to startle him, and touched his arm.

"There's nothing to forgive. I just don't want you to worry unnecessarily."

A smile was playing at the edges of his mouth while my hand rested against him. I could feel the wonder and tenderness radiating from him. The physical contact made it stronger.

"Are you ready to hunt?" I asked. My voice was high with excitement. I hadn't been this excited about a hunting trip since the first time I'd attempted the vegetarian diet.

"Ladies first," he answered, bowing and gesturing for me to proceed.

"Okay, I saw a herd of deer about two miles north. Watch."

I danced through the trees and he followed behind, giving me a lot of space like he was worried I would perceive him as a threat. I wanted to roll my eyes and tell him to stop being silly, but I let it be.

I approached the small herd from the west, keeping myself downwind. Once I caught their scent I crouched low and started stalking, letting instinct take over. Then I was grateful for the distance Jasper had left between us. I could tell, now that I was running on instinct, that if he was following any closer I wouldn't be able to concentrate on the hunt. I'd be fighting the urge to turn and challenge him, to defend my kill, even as unpalatable as it was.

The deer were huddled in a thicket, trying to keep warm and wait out the storm. I sped up, my thirst flaring in anticipation. They never even heard me coming.

In two seconds I'd killed one and knocked two others unconscious. The last one escaped, but only because I knew I didn't need it to satiate my thirst. I was practiced enough by now that I didn't get blood on my soaking wet dress as I sucked the first doe dry. When I was done with that one I instantly moved to the next, then the next.

When I was finished I took a deep breath and sighed, closing my eyes and feeling the warmth of the fresh blood radiate through my body and diluting the useless water that I'd swallowed at the diner.

I opened my eyes and saw Jasper drop out of a nearby tree where he'd been observing me.

"What do you think?" I asked. He had a speculative look on his face.

"I'm not sure. How does it taste?" His nose wrinkled a little.

"Terrible," I smiled. "But you get used to it. It's a lot better than the horrible guilt of hunting people." As I said this my mood shifted. My face darkened and I looked away. I remembered the little girl from so many years ago and felt the tightness in my throat, the stinging in my eyes. I could still remember her sweet innocent face perfectly. How frightened and defenseless she'd been...

Jasper gasped and was next to me in an instant. He rested his hand on my shoulder and I felt a sudden wave of peace wash over me.

"Please don't be sad, Miss Alice," he soothed. "I understand. Honestly, I do. And I'm ready, should I track down the last doe?"

I sighed and looked up into his concerned eyes.

"No, I don't think so. Deer don't taste very good, and it's your first time. There are a couple of black bears down south. I'll help you find them."

"Oh, you shouldn't have done that. The bears should have been yours, if they're more palatable."

"It's okay, Jasper." I smiled, touched by his consideration. "I want to do what I can to make this easier for you. I had deer my first time and it was a very unpleasant experience."

He half smiled, but clearly still disagreed with me.

"Okay, follow me." I skipped off, heading south again with Jasper right at my heels. We passed through a clear cut area, down a hill and circled around a large pond. When I caught the scent of the bears strongly enough I stopped.

"Here we are!" I announced.

Jasper looked around, listened, and sniffed the air experimentally. "I'm not sure what I'm looking for," he admitted.

I picked up a broken branch from the trail.

"This." I handed it to him and he sniffed it, then wrinkled his nose.

"I know. It's easier once you start tracking. Just try not to think about it. And once you're feeding... try not to taste it too much."

He nodded, but his mood was reluctant.

"I'll wait here if you'd prefer, and meet you at the den when you're finished."

He hesitated. "I'm not sure if that's a good idea."

"Why not?"

"I'd rather you stay with me... if you're going to be watching the future, that is."

I rolled my eyes, but gave in.

"Okay, I'll follow you. But I've never hunted with anyone before. I'm not sure how much space you need."

"Don't worry about it." He smiled. "We still agree not to attack one another, correct?"

"Of course, but I still don't want to make you feel uncomfortable."

"Don't concern yourself. I've hunted with newborns before, I'm used to it. Also, I trust you not to fight with me, especially over this prey."

I rolled my eyes again. "Okay."

He crouched down, focused on the trail, and moved forward with such silent fluidity it stunned me. I kept my distance and followed him as unobtrusively as I could.

I was surprised at how beautiful and sensual it was, watching him move. He was so strong, so graceful. He glided over the ground effortlessly, and practically floated over obstacles with easy understated movements. When he reached the den he crawled silently into the small hole. There was a muffled scuffling sound, then a surprised growl that broke off with a gurgle.

I waited through the few minutes of silence that followed. Then Jasper crawled back out of the hole. He seemed a little disappointed.

"Are you okay?" I asked, worried that something, I didn't know what it could have been, had gone wrong.

"Yes, I'm fine."

"Something's wrong," I accused.

His brow furrowed. "I think you're better at this than I am." He gestured to his muddy, torn, bloodstained clothes.

"Oh," I giggled. "That's okay. Animals just takes a little practice. It's also harder to keep your clothes undamaged with bears. They have claws." I shrugged. "I'll give you some new ones."

"Miss Alice, that's not necessary. I assure you..."

"Jasper, please! You can't expect me to be traveling with someone dressed like _that_ can you?" I teased. He looked down, abashed and not sure how to respond. I didn't tell him that I already had a new outfit ready for him at my place.

He was speechless. So I bounded over to him and took his hand. "Come on. I want to get home and change into something dry. Also, we have some work to do before sunset."

**Author's Note: To read this from Jasper's POV check out my story titled "Eternal Hope, When Jasper Met Alice". You will also get a preview of what is to come in some future chapters. ;-)**


	20. Power

**April 1918**

Things at the asylum had settled into a slightly more pleasant routine. The meals were much better; no two were the same. With my books to read the days were far less tedious. All that time alone in my room was almost enjoyable now. My bed was much more comfortable to sleep in now that I was warm enough, had a pillow, and the odor was gone. I still wasn't sure if I had a new mattress or if Alaric had somehow managed to clean my old one. And every day I had something to look forward to, a visit from my friend after sunset.

This morning's breakfast consisted of apricot scones with whipped cream, hot coffee and a slice of cold ham. When I was finished with my meal and reading some Dickinson I heard a key jiggling in the lock. I hid my book; it was time for my empty breakfast tray to be removed.

The door opened and after the assistant entered, Dr. Gorton came in as well.

"You have a visitor, Miss Brandon," he announced. "Please, follow me."

I tried to swallow down my dread and rose silently to follow the doctor down the long hallway. He didn't say anything more to me, and somehow the sound of our footsteps echoing in the emptiness was ominous. I felt terror rising in my gut and did my best to beat it back down again. I'd been expecting this, I reminded myself. Mr. Matranga, or one of his goons, was bound to come back to try to persuade me to help him. I knew what I had to do.

We reached the same room as before, where I'd first officially met Mr. Matranga.

The doctor opened the door and gestured for me to proceed. I gulped and nervously entered. Mr. Matranga was there, looking self-satisfied and sitting in the same chair he'd been in the last time we met. I stepped forward and jumped at the sound of the door latching behind me.

"Please, have a seat," Mr. Matranga offered. His voice was pleasant but I sensed hostility in his eyes.

I sat and scowled at him, trying to disguise my fear.

"Have you given any more thought to my offer?"

"I won't work for you," I growled with as much venom in my voice as I could muster.

"You're still upset about your family, aren't you?"

I glared.

"You really care for them." He nodded, trying to look sympathetic. Then a look of speculation came into his eyes. He smiled. "It would be a shame if anything unfortunate were to happen to them."

My show of anger disappeared instantly, terror taking its place.

"With your particular gift I'm sure you could have protected them from many dangers. But you're not with them anymore, are you?"

I couldn't speak. I stared at him in horror; real fury slowly rising, displacing the fear.

"But I..." he continued, "I have resources that can protect them, too. With my friends watching out for your family, I'm sure nothing terrible will happen to them." He eyed me, thoughtfully. "But I have a policy. I don't offer anything for free. I'll need something in return."

I wondered if he meant it. Would he really harm my family if I refused to cooperate? Or was he bluffing? I looked down at the table and concentrated hard. Still determined not to help this horrible man.

He continued blabbering about how sorry he would be if my parents or sister were hurt. But I wasn't listening anymore. It was just a background noise now. A few minutes passed and I finally saw something.

I gasped. Not wanting to believe it was possible, but unable to deny the clarity of the vision. I saw my family - or what was left of them - if I didn't help Mr. Matranga. The brutality with which they would be murdered was beyond torture. It was so horrible I felt my stomach lurch. I clasped my hand over my mouth to keep my breakfast down. When I could breathe again I just sobbed.

"You saw it... didn't you?" Mr. Matranga's voice was impressed, full of wonder and greed.

I continued sobbing.

"The violent people in this world can be quite creative," he commented, back to the detached voice he had been using before. "Of course, with my protection nothing violent will happen to the people you love."

I was still breathing heavily when I looked up to glare at him.

"Then what? Then you own me? I'm not stupid! If I see a vision for you once you might leave my family alone for a few days... maybe. But then you'll be back; you'll want more. Then you'll keep coming back for more, and more. All the while holding my family as _incentive._ And then what happens, one day, when I make a mistake? Or what if the future changes after I advise you and something goes wrong? The future isn't set in stone, you know. Then you'll think I betrayed you and you'll have my family killed after all, me too probably. So forgive me if I'm slow to accept your generous offer. But I think that murdering my family now and murdering me and my family later after using me like a tool for who knows how many years are both unacceptable options!"

He seemed amazed and impressed my my furious speech. Then his eyes narrowed and his expression was calculating. "Perhaps... if a single exchange can be guaranteed, would that be acceptable?"

"What do you mean?"

"You tell me one thing, one very helpful thing. In exchange I offer an unconditional guarantee that neither myself nor my friends will allow any harm to come to your family."

I wondered what kind of game he was playing. Why was he so determined to get even one vision from me? Maybe he was planning on going back on his word.

"You do know that, with my ability, I can tell if you're planning on double crossing me, right?"

His eyes narrowed again, this time it seemed to be in irritation. "Is it acceptable?" he demanded.

I looked down again. I was almost sure he didn't mean it. He was trying to trick me. But, I concentrated for many minutes and it seemed that he was telling the truth. My family would be safe if I agreed to cooperate this once.

I sighed. I hated stooping to this, but I didn't have a choice.

"Fine, I'll tell you one thing," I growled in defeat.

"Take your time. I want it to be very useful." He smiled and leaned back in his chair.

I glared at him, then closed my eyes to concentrate again.

It was very difficult. I hardly knew this man at all and my anger toward him was distracting. The things I saw in his future were not pretty. The things he would do and the things that would happen to him all showed he led a very violent, sordid life. He wanted control, he wanted pleasure, he wanted wealth, and he would do almost anything to get them.

I wasn't sure how long I sat there in concentration. There were so many possibilities and so much time to sort through. I wanted to offer him something useful enough that he couldn't claim I didn't fulfill my end of the deal. But something that he probably wouldn't like, hopefully discouraging him from homing back for more. If I told him a winning lottery number, or where he could buy a yacht for well under market value, he would be back for more very soon. But if I told him that one of his female companions would give him a disease if he was intimate with her... that would likely just irritate him. After sorting through what had to be hundreds of possibilities I finally found something that would work for both of us.

I was very weary when I opened my eyes, my muscles ached from sitting still too long. There was no window in this room and I had no way of knowing how long I'd been unaware of my surroundings.

Mr. Matranga had taken off his jacket and unbuttoned his collar. He was leaning back in his chair smoking a cigar and looking very bored. But when I looked at him he leaned forward expectantly, resting his elbows on the table.

"I'm not sure if you're going to like this, but it's the most useful thing I could find. It will save your life."

"What is it?"

"If you remain the head of the New Orleans crime family, you will be assassinated within the next five years. You need to step aside and let another take over if you want to live for the next couple decades."

For a moment he just looked incredulous, like he was going to deny my claim that he was involved with the mafia. Then he thought better of it, and his expression turned to anger.

"Who? Who will try to assassinate me?" he demanded.

I shrugged carelessly. "I don't know. I couldn't see them well, and I wouldn't be able to recognize them anyway, to tell you who they were even if I could. Anyway, I've done my part. Are you going to hold up your end of the bargain, now?"

He was still furious at the news and I could tell he was wavering. He wanted more information. He didn't want to let me go. I had to play my cards just right.

"If you go back on your word now there's no way I'll ever trust anything you say again," I spat at him. "And if you even threaten my family again there's no way I'll ever agree to see anything for you. Or if I do I'll probably give you advice that will get you killed. That would keep my family safe, wouldn't it?"

He gave me a dark look then rose and knocked on the door.

"I hope you enjoy the remainder of your stay here, Miss Brandon," he sneered. "I was hoping we could leave together, good friends. But I see now that won't happen."

The door opened and he walked out. The doctor was waiting for me and escorted me back to my room. He didn't speak to me and I was too miserable to care what that meant, if it meant anything.

As soon as I was alone I collapsed on the bed and bawled. I couldn't get the images of my family's mangled bodies out of my mind. It wasn't a vision anymore, just a horrible memory. I was also ashamed of myself. I'd committed to not helping that man, but I'd given in. I was weak. I should have thought of some other way out of the mess, but I didn't.

After a while the door opened and a tray of food was placed on the floor. I wasn't sure which meal it was, I'd lost track of time. But I wasn't hungry anyway. I didn't touch it. I didn't even look at it.

More time passed and my eyes ran dry. I just lay, belly down, on my wool blankets feeling miserable and wondering what I could have done differently. Someone came for my tray, but whoever it was made no comment about it not having been touched.

I rolled over and watched the light dim through my prison-style window. For once I was glad that Alaric only came after dark. He wouldn't be able to see my swollen, red-rimmed eyes. Maybe I could keep him from knowing how miserably I'd failed.

There was a tap at the door. I was surprised. The off-balance feeling came suddenly, almost the same time as the knock. And the light through the window was much brighter than it usually was when he visited.

"Come in?" My voice was a little hoarse.

He entered, and for the first time in a month I was able to really see his face. I'd forgotten how devastatingly handsome he was. It took my breath away.

"You've been crying," he noted, with a touch of concern in his voice.

Shoot. It wasn't dark enough yet to hide my eyes. I deliberated and decided that honesty was the best policy.

"Mr. Matranga came to visit me today."

Alaric glided over to the bed - was he always so graceful? - and sat in his usual spot for our conversations. "What happened?"

Horror ripped through me as I remembered the gruesome vision of my slaughtered family. I looked into his eyes. The concern in them grew when he perceived my expression. But I saw something else, too. The light was just bright enough... and he was just close enough... I saw that his dark eyes were not as dark as I remembered. They were ringed with bright ruby. For a moment the agony faded and I was fascinated. His eyes were red!

He saw my expression change and was confused. "What is it?" he asked.

"I never noticed before. Your eyes... they're red."

Awareness dawned on his face and he quickly looked away. His whole body stiffened and I heard his quick intake of breath.

"Is something wrong?"

"Nothing you need worry about," he answered.

"You don't have to tell me," I reminded him. "It's one of your other secrets. I understand."

He heaved a heavy sigh and looked back at me. "What did Mr. Matranga want?" he asked, getting us back on track, or changing the subject away from his peculiar eyes.

"He came to coerce me into helping him." I frowned. "It worked. He threatened my family. If I didn't help him he would have killed them."

My gaze had dropped. When I'd finished speaking I saw his hand clench into a tight fist, his knuckles going white. I heard a strange menacing sound, like a startled intake or sharp exhale of breath, it sounded like a hiss. I looked up at him, shocked. He was staring at the door, jaw clenched, eyes blazing. For a moment I felt truly frightened of him. He looked very dangerous.

"Is your family in danger now?" he asked, his lips barely moving.

"They weren't the last time I saw them. But things can change. I got the upper hand before he left, but he could still think to..." I hated to even consider the possibility.

Alaric waited for me to continue.

"He could take them one by one. He could kill my mother if I don't agree to help him, and still have my father and sister as leverage. I told him that if he threatens them again I would give him bad advice. But he could still instruct one of his men to kill them if I do that. I feel so powerless..."

"You told him something about his future?"

"Yes." I felt very ashamed. "I saw that someone would assassinate him in the next few years. I told him to step aside and let someone else take his job if he wanted to live."

Alaric was still staring at the door, his expression deadly. He turned and looked at me and his expression softened a little. "I think he won't be back soon. If he comes back at all."

"That would be nice." I sighed, not as hopeful as he seemed to be.

"Alice, I'll do what I can to try to make your family safe."

"But what can you do? What can anyone do?" I felt the sobs coming back.

"Your father is a chef, correct?"

I nodded.

"I have a friend in New York who can offer him a job. If he goes there, he'll be under the jurisdiction of another mafia. The Matrangas won't be allowed to pull a hit in that area without starting a war with a rival, and much more powerful, crime family."

For a moment I was just amazed at how much he seemed to know about these things. Then I was amazed that he would go to so much trouble to help my family.

"You would do that for them?" I asked.

His expression softened even more. "Alice..." He smiled a very little. "I'm going to do it for you."

I didn't answer him, but I felt my cheeks warm and my heart was suddenly racing.

"You are a good person, Alice. You're much kinder than any of the people around you deserve. Especially me. Somehow you got involved in all this - " He waved his hand, indicating the room, the mafia, everything. " - but it's not fair. And there's something I can do to help. So I will."

I felt my eyes tearing up.

"If you're going to see them... my family," I murmured. "May I ask one favor?"

"What is it?"

"Can you send a message to my sister? Tell her that I'm okay, and that I love her, and to always keep her secret."

"But, you know that giving them this information is dangerous."

"She already knows that the funeral was a sham. I don't want her to be worried about me still."

His forehead creased. "She has an ability, too, doesn't she?"

I knew I could trust him. So I told him the truth. "Yes. She sees the past. She has to be close to something to see her visions, though. We never told Mother and Father. She keeps it secret from everyone. I was the only one who knew. So at the funeral, when she got close to the casket, I think she saw the past for the body that was supposed to be mine, so she knew it wasn't. She was very upset, but she didn't tell anyone. I'm just so worried about what she must be going through right now."

I looked up at him and Alaric's expression was alarmed. He was completely still, like a statue, not even his eyes were moving.

"What's wrong?"

"Your sister saw a vision of that corpse's past?" His lips barely moved.

"I'm pretty sure. She probably didn't mean to. But sometimes she can't help it, just like me."

"Does that mean she knows everything about it, everything that had happened to it?" Still like a statue.

"No, it's not like that. She gets bits and pieces of information accidentally. But if she's looking for something specific she can find it pretty easily."

He seemed to snap out of it and looked at me curiously, but it was a was burning, intense curiosity in his eyes.

"Do you think your sister can see my past?"

"I'm not sure. But I don't think so. When you came to pick me up she was looking at you kind of funny. The expression on her face pretty much went along with how I felt when I met you and realized I couldn't see your future."

"Hmm..." He thought for a moment, then rose.

"I intended to bring you some new books this evening. But I was a bit hasty in coming to you and forgot." I was confused, and he smiled wryly. "I learned that you hadn't touched your supper and knew something was wrong. I'll bring the books by before you wake."

"That's okay, just bring them tomorrow."

"I may not be back tomorrow. In fact I probably won't be back for several days. I have much to do," he explained. "I'd better be going immediately." He eyed the window. There was only dim moonlight streaming through it now.

"Oh." I felt my heart sink at the news.

"Don't worry," he assured me, with a smile in his voice. "The kitchen staff has strict instructions about the food. You won't be served gruel again." He chuckled, and then he was serious. "I'm going to make your family safe."

"Thank you, Alaric," I said, fervently. "You're a good friend."

He hesitated at the door. "I want to be. Sleep well, Alice." Then he left.

It took me a long time after that to finally drift to sleep. My mind was racing with the events of the day. I could hardly believe how fortunate I was to have Alaric as a friend. If he could truly make my family safe, then Mr. Matranga would have no hold on me. He couldn't make me do anything for him anymore. And, almost as fervently as I longed for that, I wanted my sister to know not to worry about me. If I was ever able to get out of here, I would find her. I could be with my sister again. The thought was soothing.

When I woke the next morning the sun was streaming bright and yellow through my window. I rubbed my eyes and looked around, expecting to see a book or two on the floor. But there were none.

Alaric must have forgotten. I forgave him instantly and reached under the mattress to pull out my Dickinson collection and finish yesterday's poem. My reaching fingers encountered an unfamiliar spine. I pulled the book out; it was Anne of Green Gables. Somehow Alaric managed to sneak into my room and slip it under the bed without waking me.

I smiled and propped myself up against the wall to begin reading.


	21. Traveling

**September 1948**

Finished with our quick hunting trip, Jasper and I dashed to my little shack. As we approached I felt a little embarrassed to have him see my humble dwelling: a wooden one-room building, just big enough for two people to move around in. The only amenity was a fireplace set in the back wall. As we approached, it looked even smaller and less impressive than I remembered.

"It's not much," I admitted, shrugging. "But it's been home for the past five years."

Jasper chuckled. "I'm just amazed that you were able to stay in one place for so long. Don't be embarrassed."

"Okay," I agreed easily. It was hard to feel really uncomfortable when I was still so excited. "Come on in."

We entered and I watched him as he took in his surroundings. The fireplace, the small table by the window, the piles of books and newspapers, the record player with a handful of records leaning against it, the vase of wildflowers over the mantle, the clothes and shoes stacked on every horizontal surface in the room.

"You must really like clothes," he noted.

"Yes, I do," I agreed easily. "They make me feel a little more human. I love shopping, following the fashion trends, and haggling with salespeople over prices." I laughed, it had been a very long time since I'd had real money concerns. "Something about it just resonates with me."

"You want to feel human again?"

I winced a little. So, we were going to have this conversation already. I watched him, gauging how he would react to what I was going to say. At least he wouldn't freak out. "I don't remember being human."

"At all?"

"Nope," I sighed.

"How old are you, Miss Alice? When were you... born?"

I knew he wasn't talking about my human birth. "It was 1920. I woke up at night, alone in Orange Beach, Alabama."

He seemed confused. "You've only been immortal for twenty eight years."

"Twenty eight very long years," I corrected.

"But you should still be able to remember your human life. Human memories fade over time, but not that quickly."

"I know it's not normal." I shrugged. "But that's how it is. I can't remember anything about my human life. I never could."

"You don't even remember the... transformation?" There was an edge to his voice when he asked this.

I shook my head. "All I remember is feeling very empty. I couldn't see, hear, feel, or smell anything. The first real memory I have is seeing a vision, though I didn't know it was a vision at the time. I thought I was dreaming. When the vision was over I became aware of myself. Then I felt the thirst..." I frowned, remembering that first night. I had to cut myself off before I started remembering my first hunt. I shook my head and changed the subject. "I should get out of these wet clothes before they're ruined."

"I think mine are already ruined," Jasper mumbled, looking down at his soaked, torn, bloodied ensemble.

I grabbed his new shirt and pair of trousers from under the table and tossed them to him.

"So we'll throw them away, or burn them. I don't care. Put those on."

He snatched the clothes out of the air and held them gingerly, suddenly wary. I turned away from him, pawing through the nearest pile of blouses, looking for a good sturdy one.

"Don't worry, I got you the right size," I assured him. "And... Would you mind turning your back for a moment?"

That snapped him out of it. He was instantly facing the wall, still holding his new clothes, uncertain. I wondered what he was so uncomfortable about, but I could see he wouldn't tell me if I asked him, so I didn't.

"Go ahead and change, I won't peek," I promised, slipping the wet dress off my shoulders and stepping out of it.

My dress hit the floor and I felt a sudden charge in the air. I wondered about it for an instant, then felt a little hopeful at the possibility I might be feeling Jasper's mood. Did he know that sometimes his emotions leaked out?

I heard the wet clothes slide off his marble skin and had to fight the temptation to look behind me. I longed to see if his body was as beautiful as his face. I knew it was only a matter of time before all the walls came down. But even though I'd known Jasper for my entire life, he'd only just met me a few short hours ago. We had to go at his pace. So even though I could feel a trembling in my stomach, an electric charge running through my skin, an immense desire to close the space between us and run my fingers down his bare chest, tracing his scars. I couldn't. Not yet.

I pulled on the sturdy red blouse I'd been looking for and a wool skirt. I found my black pumps and slipped those on, too. Then I snatched my new leather handbag and began stuffing it with cash.

"Can I be of assistance?" Jasper asked. I looked up and he stepped towards me in his new attire. Just a pair of dark trousers and a button-down shirt, but these clothes fit better than his old ones, highlighting his strong chest and arms, showing the fluidity of his every move.

I swallowed. "Can you start a fire? I'd like to dry out my dress."

He nodded and immediately got to work.

I finished cramming all my petty cash into the handbag. It was straining at the seams when I was done. Then I wrung as much water out of my dress as I could without damaging the material. The fire was coming along nicely, so I draped the dress over a hanger and hooked it over the edge of the mantelpiece.

"What now?" Jasper asked.

"We need to bag up all the stuff we can. We'll drop it off at a thrift store on our way out."

He nodded again and I handed him a large sack from the pile behind the door.

It didn't take long. We worked efficiently, mostly in silence. Jasper was very focused when he had a task at hand and didn't like to be distracted until he was finished. Even so, when he was packing up my small library he did ask me about my book selection. I admitted that I chose some of the titles because I saw that he would enjoy them, and our tastes were not too different.

"I'll read a scholarly journal now and then, especially on languages. So when you found something you particularly liked I would pick it up to take a look," I admitted. "But I prefer poetry, and novels for most of my pleasure reading."

"But I'm sure I've never seen some of these before." His brow furrowed, eying a couple of medical journals, an anthropology encyclopedia, an English to Arabic dictionary, and a thesis on war tactics in medieval Asia.

"You'll like them," I assured him, with a knowing smile. "We'll pick up new copies when we settle down again."

"Oh!" His eyes widened, understanding.

Soon everything but my wet dress was packed. The bags were piled up, waiting by the door. The rest of the room was empty except for the table, an old rocking chair, and my dress hanging from the mantle. I curled up on the floor next to the fire, enjoying the heat radiating out from it. Not that I felt cold, but it was a pleasant sensation nonetheless. I felt my body temperature rising and wondered if it was at all what it might feel like to be a human, to be warm.

Jasper deliberated, then came and sat next to me. I felt a thrill when his arm brushed mine. I looked up at his face, watching the orange light sparkle subtly off his skin, highlighting the scars on his throat, cheeks, and brow. He looked down at me, I saw myself in the reflection of his eyes. My skin was glinting, too, like golden diamonds.

He gently took my hand, and lifted it from the floor, staring into my eyes. My breath caught in my throat, but I didn't say anything. I just watched him, wondering what he could be thinking. This must have been so odd to him, having a perfect stranger show up out of the blue and practically abduct him. I wished I could make it easier. The idea that I might be causing him any sort of distress was... painful. Watching him now, his devastatingly handsome face sparkling faintly in the firelight, looking at me with such patience and understanding in his eyes, I felt I would do anything for him.

He cocked his head to the side a little, his features shifting slightly into a curious expression. I wondered if he was reading my mood with his special gift. I felt a little bit self-conscious. I was afraid that if he could sense how desperately I longed for him that he would be overwhelmed.

But he still held my hand, and his eyes, piercing into mine, were not frightened. They were soft.

"I'm not used to trusting anyone," he said. "But you are so unlike anyone I've ever met before."

I wanted to interject here, but I could tell he didn't want to be interrupted.

"Please, just be patient with me."

"I will, Jasper. I know this is a lot to have dumped on you in one day."

He smiled. "You might be interested to know that right now I'm nearly as happy to have met you as you were to meet me this afternoon."

A wide smile spread across my face.

"Really?"

He laughed. "Yes, really. For the first time in almost a hundred years I feel hope."

I squeezed his hand and sighed. "There is hope, Jasper. If you could only see the things I've seen you would know. Everything is going to be just fine." I rested my head on his shoulder. He froze for a second, and then relaxed.

We sat like that for a long while, watching the flames slowly die down until there were only glowing red embers. The rain softened to a drizzle, then stopped altogether. I saw him consider resting his cheek against my hair a few times. But he decided against it in the end. I would be patient with him as he'd asked. I could feel the contentment rolling off of him in waves, and that was enough for now.

I saw that my dress was dry, but I didn't want to move. I could have sat there, leaning against his shoulder, smelling his warm fragrance for years. But we needed to get moving if we were going to make use of the night.

"We need to go?" he asked.

I eyed him suspiciously. "How did you know?"

"I'm beginning to understand how you think. And I can sense what you're feeling, remember?"

I smiled sheepishly. "Yes, we need to go now while it's still dark enough."

He stood and held out his hand for me. I laughed. As if I needed help standing! I stuffed my dress, now warm and dry, into the last sack that still had room. We each grabbed half of the bags and Jasper followed me out into the cool air.

I moved as quickly as I could while carrying two hundred cumbersome pounds of clothes, books, records, and shoes. We reached the thrift store and dumped our cargo at the back door, slipping away unnoticed into the night. Unburdened, we traveled much faster and were soon out of the city.

"So, Miss Alice," Jasper asked, conversationally. "What's the plan now?"

"Well, I think it would be a good idea to get you used to the vegetarian diet before we find a new place."

"Aren't you forgetting something?" He sounded like he was teasing. I checked to see what he was getting at... and rolled my eyes.

"Really?" I whined, stopping abruptly in our run. Jasper blew past me, then wheeled around, approaching me with a mocking smile.

"Isn't it customary to ask first?"

"But I already know the answer!"

He just smirked, waiting.

"Fine." I took a breath and put on my most pleading face. He didn't buy it, though. He could tell that my emotions were really a mixture of irritation and amusement. Mostly amusement.

"Please will you be a vegetarian vampire and come with me to live with the Cullens? Please, please, please?" I pouted delicately at the end and let my lower lip quiver a little.

His superior smile burst into laughter. "Wow, you're good!"

"Please, Jasper?" I begged, grabbing his hands. I wasn't giving up until he said yes. "Please come with me!"

"Yes, I will," he agreed, grinning.

"Good!" My pathetic expression disappeared instantly, replaced by a grin to match his. "We should keep out of the public eye for a couple weeks I think. But these outfits won't last forever. So eventually we'll have to go into town. That's a good idea anyway. It would be good practice if we mingled with humans regularly, to stay used to it."

He grimaced.

"It does get easier." I promised gently. Then continued, "So let's stay in the wilderness for a little bit. In a couple of weeks, when you're more accustomed to hunting animals and your eyes aren't ghoulish anymore, we can visit Pittsburgh and get new clothes. Then we can find temporary lodging and stay somewhere over the winter."

He shrugged. "Lead the way, ma'am."

**Author's Note: To read this from Jasper's point of view, check out Eternal Hope, When Jasper met Alice. :)**


	22. Treatment

**April 1918**

I didn't get a chance to read very much of my book before my breakfast was served. This morning it consisted of some sort of egg casserole with sausage and vegetables. When I had finished eating, my favorite large, domineering nurse, Miss Margaret, came for me. That was a little unusual. But I just figured that I was going to be allowed to go outside again.

Miss Margaret silently marched me down the long, empty hall. But, to my surprise, instead of taking me downstairs to the back door she led me up the stairwell to the second level of the institution.

I'd never been in this part of the asylum before.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked.

"You're beginning your treatments today," she answered in a detached voice.

"Oh." I tried to stay calm, but I felt myself starting to tremble.

She unlocked a door and led me into a white room with a padded table and medical equipment. When we were inside she locked the door behind us. Then she pulled a strange looking long-sleeved shirt out of a cabinet and held it out to me. It was open in the back and had unusual buckles and straps attached to it.

"Put your arms in," she instructed.

I obeyed, but the sleeves were much too long. Before I had time to comment she was fastening the back of the shirt, pulling the ends of the sleeves taut, crossing my arms over my chest, and strapping them tight with the buckles.

"What's going on?" I demanded but she just kept tightening the straps. My arms were immobile, tight against my body. It was a straightjacket.

"Now I want you up on this table," she commanded. I was helpless. I could only obey. I backed up to the table and sat on it. She laid me back and strapped my feet down. Then put a strap over my midsection.

The doctor came in then.

"Now then, Miss Brandon," he said. "I'm sure you're anxious to begin your therapy and get better, aren't you?"

I didn't answer. I was angry and frightened and couldn't think of anything to say.

"You needn't be frightened, my dear," the doctor soothed. But in his shaking hand he held a syringe.

My heart raced.

"This will be over soon. You won't even remember it."

The nurse stuffed my mouth full of gauze and tied my head to the table with a length of cloth.

The doctor approached, still brandishing the syringe.

I whimpered, tears oozing out of the corners of my eyes.

He pulled my gown up, exposing my thigh. I felt something cold, wet, and rough scrubbing my skin. Then the sharp jab of the needle. A slight burning sensation spread through my flesh at the injection site... then blackness took me.

~)(~

I opened my eyes, but the world was spinning dizzily out of control. I closed them again, feeling sick to my stomach. I didn't know where I was, or when it was. My shoulders hurt, and my elbows, and my hands. I tried to stretch but couldn't. My arms seemed to be strapped to my body. When had that happened?

I tried to remember, and it slowly came back to me. The white room. The straightjacket. But just as I was regaining coherency everything swirled again and I was plunged back into the blackness.

~)(~

I heard voices I didn't recognize. I couldn't understand what they were saying.

I was seeing things too, but I didn't know what it was I was seeing. Someone was talking close to me. It was very confusing.

Then I heard myself speak. What did I just say? Was I dreaming?

The voices were becoming a little more intelligible.

"This isn't working," I heard one voice say.

"We still have many alternatives to try," the other voice answered.

They were familiar now. Where had I heard them before?

"Mary, try to concentrate. I'm going to hold up my hand. Tell me how many fingers I will hold up."

"I don't know," I mumbled automatically, without thinking.

"This is useless!" The other voice said.

The voices became more jumbled. I couldn't understand them anymore. I felt a wave of nausea, then the blackness took me again.

I drifted in and out of consciousness. I couldn't remember most of what was going on. But I had the impression that a lot of time was passing. I saw different rooms, vials of medicine, a glass bottle dripping fluids into a tube. But before I could make sense of anything I would always go under again.

~)(~

I was lying face down. My body felt very heavy. I couldn't lift my head or my arms. I wasn't even sure if I could open my eyes.

My mouth and throat were very dry. My head hurt. My whole body hurt.

I hoped that I was waking up finally. I needed a drink of water.

I waited a long time, but I still couldn't move. I didn't feel any restraints, it was just that my body felt so heavy, like my arms and legs, and even my eyelids were made of lead.

After waiting for an immeasurably long time I finally drifted into the blackness again.

~)(~

When I woke I was in a different position. Did that mean I'd moved by myself in sleep? Or had someone moved me?

I opened my eyes and saw that I was back in my cell. It was daytime and the light streaming through the window hurt my eyes. My head ached horribly. My ears rang.

I pushed myself slowly into a sitting position. The world spun sickeningly and I squeezed my eyes shut trying to make it stop.

I collapsed against the wall and sat there, immobile. My head hurt too much to move again, even though my throat was dry, my mouth was sticky and I felt feverish. I wanted to see if someone had left a glass of water for me at least. But I didn't dare open my eyes again.

I tried to look at the bright side of things. At least I was beginning to be myself again. It seemed I was finally coming out of whatever stupor they'd put me in. Also, even though the treatment wasn't what I expected, maybe they were actually trying to help me now. If that was the case, I might be able to plan my escape. I could gradually work towards being "cured" and released.

I could still see light through my eyelids, and it made my head throb. After a while - a few minutes? Or hours? - I groaned and laid back down, very gently, to bury my face in my pillow. The cool fabric felt good on my hot skin.

~)(~

Something woke me. I thought I heard a noise. Was it a key in the lock? Was it morning again?

With great effort I rolled my head to see what was going on. The movement made me feel sick. It was dark in my room, but my eyes were adjusted and I could see fairly well. Maybe I'd woken on my own.

Then I heard something. A tap at my door.

I couldn't make sense of it. I couldn't think if this was unusual or not, I could barely even think how I should respond, or if I should respond at all. And I didn't have it in me to be surprised, or pleased, or irritated. All I could feel was agony at having to think at all.

I groaned and re-buried my face.

I heard a light creak as the door opened in spite of my failure to respond. Then there was silence. Whoever it was must have gone away.

Then I felt something very cold press against my forehead. The shock of the icy touch on my overheated skin was too much. I gasped. My eyes flew open. The world churned around me. There was a stab of pain in my head and I curled up into a ball. My empty stomach heaved repeatedly but uselessly. Pain raked over me, head to toe. It felt like knives were stabbing into every muscle in my body.

It took a while for exhaustion to end my torment. I ended up on my side, taking quick shallow breaths. I tasted bile on my tongue, but nothing else had managed to come up.

"What did they _do_ to you?" a gentle voice whispered.

I couldn't respond. I didn't have the energy. And I didn't know the answer anyway.

"Your temperature is very high."

I felt a gentle breath of air against the skin at my cheek.

"Madness," he breathed. "What were they thinking?"

There was another moment of silence. I tried turning my head again to see him. But after my fit I was just too weak.

"I will return in a moment," Alaric whispered. I heard the creak of the door but nothing else.

Before I could really wonder where he'd gone I heard the door creak again. He didn't speak but I felt gloved hands moving me until I was lying flat on my back. There was a slight clinking noise, like glass.

I forced my eyelids open and saw that he had several vials of clear fluids and he was preparing a large needle.

"Don't be alarmed. I'm going to help you," he murmured.

My eyelids drooped again. I couldn't hold them up. And I didn't have the energy to care what happened to me anymore.

"Your body is low on fluids. Because of this you aren't able to purge the toxins from your system effectively. I'm going to help by injecting saltwater into your bloodstream. Then I'm going to give you something that will neutralize some of the toxins."

I felt something soft, warm, and wet at the crease in my arm. After a couple minutes I couldn't feel it any more, but I smelled something pungent, like alcohol.

There was pressure on my arm, but I didn't feel any pain. Then a cool sensation slowly spread upward. The sensation gradually spread over my whole body. My head ached less and my face didn't feel as hot. I was able to open my eyes again.

I looked into Alaric's face and felt mild alarm when I saw him. His expression was fierce, determined. He saw me looking at him but didn't say anything. He was plunging some clear fluid through a needle in my arm, directly into a vein. When the syringe was empty he disconnected it from the needle and grabbed another. I saw a small pile of empty syringes at the foot of my bed.

The next syringe he grabbed contained a slightly opaque fluid. He injected this silently, then removed the needle and taped some gauze tightly against the injection site. He folded my arm over the gauze, then gathered up his supplies.

"Keep your arm in that position for ten minutes. I must go now. Goodbye."

He gathered up his supplies, bowed quickly and hurried out of the room.

I kept my arm folded over the gauze, rolled onto my side and fell back to sleep.


	23. Settling Down

**October 1948**

Jasper and I had been traveling together for three weeks, the best three weeks of my life so far. I was usually a little sad, and terribly bored, when I had to move from one place to another. Without shopping, or books, or humans to pass the time with life could be very dull.

Not so with Jasper. There was so much I wanted to know about him. And there was so much to know. He told me about his early vampire life, how he'd been born into an army, how he'd used his special skills to make the best fighters. He told me how his world had been one of blood-lust, violence, and betrayal, ruled by greed and vengeance. I'd seen a lot of that myself in my earlier visions of his life, and he helped to fill in some of the missing pieces.

I was most interested when he told me of his human memories. He remembered being a human and what it was like to live in that world. It fascinated me. I asked him for as many details as he could remember from his life before being a vampire.

His strongest human memories were about his last day being one of them. I begged him to tell me about it. He didn't understand my interest, but he complied.

When he got to the part about the transformation itself he hesitated, then simply said, "I was longing for death every moment."

He had questions for me, as well. He wanted to know about my earlier years, how I'd managed to survive without someone helping me through being an out-of-control, bloodthirsty newborn. He wanted to know about my visions, how they worked and what my limitations were. He asked about the Cullens and I told him as much as I thought they would be comfortable with. He was particularly interested in Carlisle and Edward; Carlisle because he couldn't imagine any vampire with enough self-control to work as a doctor, and Edward because of his ability to read minds.

"It seems like there won't be room for any secrets once we're all together," I mused. "With my fortune-telling and Edward 's mind-reading."

"I suppose not," he agreed, thoughtfully.

We were coming up on Greenwood Indiana and I figured it would be a good place to stop for the winter. There was a good deal of forest just twenty-five miles south of the city. Besides, we desperately needed new clothes.

"We ought to find a place to stay first. Something far enough from civilization so we won't be smelling human all the time, but near enough we can get to the town quickly," I informed him.

"Should I bother looking, or will you just tell me now where we'll find one?" he teased, and I smiled. He was beginning to get used to me.

"Here, let me look." I closed my eyes and began sifting through the different paths we might take. I wanted a place south of the city so we wouldn't have to move through it on our way to the forest. There were thousands of paths we might take and very few of them led to any sort of abandoned structure. And only a handful of those structures were far enough from civilization to be suitable. I examined those. One was an old barn, very large, but not very useable. It would take a lot of work to get it in good enough condition to keep anything dry, but we might be able to use some of the timber from it. Another structure was a tiny woodshed, completely useless. I moved on to the next one and was pleased to find it looked very promising. An old one-room log cabin, the windows were missing but it still had a wood stove in the corner. The logs were in good condition and the frame for the roof looked sturdy. A little work and it would be useable.

I came back to the present and opened my eyes. Jasper was hovering, watching our surroundings carefully, his posture slightly protective.

I sighed, and his eyes flashed to me.

"What do you see?" he asked curiously.

"I see an overprotective, paranoid vampire who doesn't believe what I tell him," I scowled.

His eyes narrowed, defensively. He understood immediately what I was talking about.

"I would rather not take any chances," he explained.

"Jasper, trust me. There's no way anything dangerous could catch me off guard. If something is a threat to me or anyone I care about, I'll see it whether I want to or not."

"But you've admitted that sometimes you miss things when you're distracted," he countered.

"Not _dangerous_ things," I corrected. "If anything dangerous is about to happen, I'll see it."

"But maybe not in time," he persisted. "What if they, whoever they are, don't decide to be a threat until they're already too close for us to run? It's better if we have as much warning as possible."

"Who says I need to run?" I demanded.

He stared, incredulous, then shook his head sadly. "You've never been in a fight before, Miss Alice. Trust me, you need to run."

"Are you suggesting that I can't take care of myself?" I asked, feigning anger. I was actually quite amused. I could see where this would lead.

He hesitated; trying not to smile at the humor he felt coming from me, and not wanting to offend me.

"I just don't want you to be put in that position," he clarified, carefully avoiding a direct answer.

I took a step back, eying him like I was sizing up an opponent. "You consider yourself a good fighter, don't you?"

His eyes narrowed, trying to guess where I was going with this. He didn't say anything, but I knew the answer anyway. He was probably the most deadly vampire warrior on the continent.

"You're very experienced, you're fast, and you know all the best fighting techniques. Someone like me, small, comparatively weak and inexperienced wouldn't have a chance against someone like you, right?"

"I'm not going to fight with you," he said, firmly. His voice was dark.

"I'm not asking you to," I said innocently, raising my eyebrows. "Just try to touch me."

He didn't move; he just watched me, warily.

"I'm not going to attack you either, Jasper!" I rolled my eyes. "We still have a 'no attacking' agreement. All you need to do to prove your point is make any sort of physical contact. So go ahead. You touch me, you win!"

I closed my eyes and waited with a confident smile.

My focus shifted instantly to the very immediate future. A window of about a hundredth of a second to two seconds in advance. I'd only ever tried this once before, shortly after waking up when I'd met that strange vampire who seemed to know me. I didn't know my gift as well back then, and I'd been blinded by confusion and anger. That was not the case now.

I could see exactly how Jasper would move. He hesitated, unsure, but then reached out to touch my arm. I shifted my weight just enough to avoid the contact. He tried again, a little more confidently. I just stepped back, out of reach. He came at me more aggressively. I hopped to the side.

He hesitated again for a short moment, considering his options. He nearly decided to give up. But then, in my mind, I saw him smile a little and shift to a crouch. He was going to really try! My grin widened.

He leaped at me, moving in a complicated pattern that, to the unsuspecting victim, would be very confusing - feigning one direction, then another, and shifting again at the last moment. But I could easily see how to evade him. He missed me, but didn't hesitate on his rebound. His movement continued fluidly into the next advance, and the next. He was using practiced motions, planned advances. It was the simplest thing in the world to shift my weight, move my arm, duck, roll, jump. After a few seconds I started having more fun with it. I kept my eyes closed and laughed as I twirled through his movements, spinning, leaping, dancing.

He tried catching my hand. I left it just within his grasp for the tiniest portion of a second, then my dance took it out of reach with just a hairsbreadth to spare. I felt air flowing around me like a whirlwind from his lightning-fast attacks. I smelled his warm heady scent as his body passed within inches of mine. But we never touched.

He started moving faster, trying even harder to catch me. He made his decisions sooner, trying not to think of them in advance. But I still saw them in time. He might as well have been trying to catch a ghost.

After about thirty seconds of fruitless, complicated attacks; calculated advances and feints; moving in a whirlwind of speed, power, and mastery; Jasper gave up and stepped back, conceding.

I opened my eyes.

"That was fun." I grinned, smug.

He was looking at me with a new sense of wonder. Then he laughed once and shook his head, incredulous again.

"Miss Alice, forgive me but I have to tell you that you are one _frightening_ little vampire! I've never seen anything like you before. You're incredible!"

"Thank you," I chirped. "One of these days I'll show you that I can catch you just as easily as I can evade you." My grin spread wider, showing my teeth. It was a smile and a challenge at the same time. He didn't seem to feel threatened, though. I wondered if he was still underestimating me or if he actually trusted me now.

"I'm sure that will be equally as impressive," he agreed with a small smile. It looked almost shy.

"I saw a log cabin, too, by the way," I answered his previous question. "It'll take some fixing up, but nothing that will take more than a day or two."

"That sounds good. Lead the way."

We got to the old cabin quickly. The roof was mostly collapsed, but as I expected the support beams were still pretty good. The ground inside was overgrown with grass and shrubs, but the stone foundation was still level and strong. The stove was rusted, but with a little scouring would be useable again. That would be good if we ever needed to dry our clothes in the future, which we would. There was no door, we'd have to make one or find a replacement. It was the same for the windows.

"If Esme were here she would love to help with this," I sighed.

"Doesn't she usually take on bigger projects?"

"Yes, but I think she would like to renovate a little cabin or cottage. She's always fixing up big houses because her family is large. Even the houses she renovates for Rosalie and Emmett are big and fancy because Rosalie likes big, fancy houses. And, of course, she and Emmett keep destroying them so she has to keep rebuilding them." I rolled my eyes. "But I've seen her looking at smaller places like she would really enjoy working on one."

"Why do Rosalie and Emmett destroy their houses?" Jasper asked, baffled.

Oops.

"Um..." I hesitated, not sure if I should laugh or feel embarrassed. Emmet wouldn't care if I told Jasper that his love life was so exuberant. And Rosalie probably wouldn't mind either. But I didn't really want to say it out loud. "I'm sure Emmett will tell you. I think he can explain it better than I can."

He examined my emotions, trying to understand. I could recognize the look he got when he was doing that now.

His brow furrowed in thought, then he was suddenly fighting a smile. His eyes flashed back to the cabin and he changed the subject, like a gentleman.

"We'll need some roofing materials, windows, timber, fresh chinking, a door and some hardware," he noted.

"Right," I agreed. Glad for the subject change.

"Let's start by clearing the area so we can see what we're doing," Jasper suggested.

We got to work, ripping up the bushes by their roots and scraping the grass away. There was a lot of stuff hidden under the growth, but nothing useful. Just some old rusted cookware, a few rotted rags, a couple horseshoes, and a bunch of other random junk.

Once the inside of the building was clear and we'd tidied up the surrounding yard we visited the old barn I'd seen earlier. There was plenty of useable roofing material, but we would still need nails. We could use the timber to build a new door, but we still needed new hinges and screws, plus the window panes and the chinking for between the logs.

We carried back the useable materials. It took several trips but by nightfall we had almost everything we needed in neat, organized piles ready for construction.

There was nothing left to do now but wait until morning so we could go into town.

I climbed up into the tiny loft in the cabin to wait out the night. Jasper joined me and we sat there, side by side, gazing into the sky as the stars appeared.

"Do you ever consider going back?" Jasper asked after a while.

I understood. He was talking about giving up animals and going back to the old way of hunting.

"It crosses my mind sometimes," I admitted. "After my first vegetarian hunt was when I was most tempted to give up. And every now and then, when I'm thirsty and a human gets too close, it can be pretty hard to resist still."

"But you don't really consider it? You're always resolved?"

I took a deep breath, luxuriating in the delightful aroma of his body next to mine; wondering how I ever survived on my own long enough for him to find me. It was true that I had the stronger self-control of the two of us. But he needed this life more than I did. I did care about humans, but the normal vampire lifestyle was less destructive to me than it was to him. So, in a very real way, I was doing this for him. And I would do anything for him. So there was no way I could change my mind.

"No, I never really consider turning back. I honestly don't want to."

He didn't make any response. But I saw him dithering about asking another question. He almost decided to, but changed his mind at the last second. He probably didn't want to ask it for fear of offending me.

"You can ask me, Jasper. It's okay."

"It's none of my business," he murmured.

"Sure it is."

He just looked away, feeling uncomfortable.

I answered the question anyway. I'd seen what it was.

"No, I haven't had any slip-ups. Not yet, anyway. Not since I started the... diet. I try to be very careful about where I go and what I do. I look ahead to see if I'll be tempted. But I think it still might happen, in the future. I always see when something dangerous is coming, but a tasty human isn't exactly dangerous. So I can't be sure I'll see the temptation unless I'm actively looking for it."

"I see," he answered, thoughtfully. He was always interested in learning more about my gift. It fascinated him. I decided to ask a question of my own.

"If you could be a human again... would you?"

He considered that for a few seconds.

"I'm not sure. Part of me really wants that. But lately..." His eyes met mine. "I've found something that's made this life worthwhile."

I smiled at him, and he smiled shyly in return.

"Would you?" he asked.

I heaved a heavy sigh. "I would give almost anything to be a human," I answered. "Almost."

"It's a bit ironic, don't you think?"

"What is?"

"Many humans would give anything to become one of us. And we wish we could go back to being one of them."

"They do?" I couldn't imagine it. How could a human want this? Unless it was like it had been for Rosalie and Emmett, and I suspected for Edward and Esme too, and they had no other choice but to die.

"Yes, they do," Jasper answered, surprised that it wasn't obvious to me. "Most humans crave power, beauty, and immortality over everything else. And a fair number of them don't even care much about others of their own kind so long as they're not acquainted with them. So the blood-lust wouldn't bother them much."

"That's so horrible. Don't they even see what they have? Can't they appreciate it?"

Jasper shrugged. "I don't think they would really consider what they'd be giving up."

I frowned at the thought. I'd been fascinated with humans, longing to experience a human life for so long that the idea of a human willingly throwing all that away seemed so... _wasteful_. I could never really go back, even if it was a possibility. Not unless Jasper could go with me. I could never really leave him, not even to become human again. But, next to him, there was nothing I wanted more.

I leaned my head back against the wall, watching the slow progression of stars across the sky.

We sat in silence for a while. But it was a comfortable silence. I scooted nearer to him, leaning against his side a little. I smiled at the pleasure this small contact generated in him.

"Do you know that sometimes I can feel your emotions?"

He looked down at me, a little puzzled. "I've only done that once."

"You helped me once intentionally when I was unhappy. But sometimes I can sense what you're feeling even when you're not doing it on purpose."

"Hmm... I should try harder to keep that under control." He saw my puzzled expression and explained further. "When I spent time with my friends Peter and Charlotte they were sometimes uncomfortable being with me because my... depression seemed to overflow into them. That's when I learned that my moods could affect others unintentionally as well as intentionally. I'd thought that I'd learned to control that phenomenon. I'm sorry if it's been bothering you."

"No, no! It's all right. I actually like it," I assured him.

He raised an eyebrow, skeptically.

"You haven't been making me unhappy at all. It helps me to know what you're comfortable with sometimes. It's a good thing."

He still looked a bit skeptical. "You really don't mind my emotions intruding on yours?"

"Not at all. In fact I'm becoming quite proficient at discerning the difference between yours and mine."

He seemed a little bemused.

"You don't mind me spying on your future, do you?" I asked, reminding him who the real freak was.

He chuckled. "No, I suppose I don't."

I leaned my head against the wall again and he did the same. I felt the contentment pouring out of him and sighed in satisfaction.

"The sky is very clear tonight," he noted.

"It will cloud over by morning," I told him.

"Tomorrow we visit the city," he said, keeping his tone was completely neutral. I couldn't read what emotions went along with this; maybe he was hiding them from me.

"That's right. It won't be a very long visit, though. We'll keep it short at first, just getting the things we need."

He nodded mutely. I could tell he was worried even though he wasn't letting me feel it.

"Don't worry, Jasper. I'll be with you. I'll stop you before you can do anything you'll regret."

This didn't sooth him as much as I'd hoped. I saw he was gritting his teeth. Whether it was in anger or if he was fighting some emotion I couldn't tell.

"Jasper, listen." I slid my arm under his, taking his hand and waiting until he looked me in the eye. When he did his guard must have dropped because I felt a sudden rush of anxiety.

"Don't worry, you're stronger than you think," I assured him. "And it will get easier, too. It just takes time."

He closed his eyes. "I hope you're right."


	24. The Truth

**September 1918**

After Alaric's help I started feeling better, though I never fully regained my energy. Walking down the hall for bath day exhausted me. When I was allowed to go outside I immediately struggled to my rock in the wooded area, collapsed on it, and lay there until we were called in.

The doctor brought me in for treatments regularly. It was never as bad as the first time again, but sometimes I would be unconscious for a day or longer, recovering from whatever drug he was trying on me. I would wake up in my room with bruises I couldn't remember getting.

I was starting to lose weight, too. I just didn't have an appetite any more.

Alaric still visited my room almost every night. He was concerned about me, and offered, more than once, to bust me out if it got to be too much. But I told him no. Partly because I didn't want him risking his job over me - he'd already done more than I could have ever have expected - but mostly I still hoped that I could be released after being "cured".

When Alaric had returned he told me that my family was safely in New York and my father was now working at a five-star restaurant. He also told me that he'd spoken privately to my sister. She knew I was alive, if not well, and had made a promise. She said that when she was old enough to move out on her own she would go back to Biloxi and wait for me there. She also said that if I managed to make it out before her, I should do the same.

This gave me something I could really look forward to and fueled my resolve to "stick it out" at this horrible place until I could be officially released. In my darkest moments I dreamed of Biloxi, of finding my sister and being myself again.

Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months. Little changed. I was used to feeling sick, drugged, and confused most of the time. Alaric started bringing me food at night and coaxing me to eat. I tried, but nothing was appealing. And usually I just threw it up. I felt guilty about that because he was putting so much effort into the meals for my sake and it was a shame to waste the food.

It was late September when something really did change.

It was my day to go out into the lawn again. I struggled to get out to my rock, by now I'd worn a path through the ferns. I barely had enough energy to get there, but I managed somehow. I climbed onto its cold surface and lay on my back, looking up through the leaves. My panting gradually slowed and I relaxed, listening to the birds chirping and the wind whistling through the branches.

I don't know how long I lay there; I was starting to expect to get called in for supper soon. Then something suddenly seemed wrong.

The bird songs I'd been enjoying cut off abruptly. The only sound I could hear now was the wind. I thought that was unusual. I rolled my head to the side, looking past the trees through almost closed eyes. I wondered if maybe a cat had gotten into the lawn and was frightening the birds into silence. But I didn't see any cat.

A few more moments passed and I did see something, but it seemed so bizarre, so fantastic that I was almost sure I'd drifted to sleep and was dreaming. Barring that it could only be a strange hallucination.

It looked like Alaric was coming towards me. He was running very swiftly, almost flying with speed. His face was fierce, angry. He ran right past me but I didn't hear the slightest sound of a footstep. There was a sudden breeze and the hallucination was over.

I wanted to groan. What sort of drugs were they giving me now?

Then the woods behind me erupted with noise. A fierce, feral snarl ripped through the air. A roar of rage seemed to set the trees to trembling. I was so frightened that I actually sat up and looked. I couldn't see anything, though. The sounds seemed to be coming from the other side of the fence. It was a tumult you might expect to hear if two lions were pitching battle, only much more terrifying.

After a minute the sounds died off. I stared into the woods for a long time, half expecting to see some monstrous wild beast emerge. But none did. The sounds must have just been more hallucinations.

The attendants called. I slid off my rock and shuffled back out into the manicured gardens.

I didn't touch my supper, but none of the asylum workers seemed to care. It was with relief that I finally collapsed on my bed again. I waited for a tap at my door, or for sleep to come. I didn't really care which.

I did eventually fall asleep, only to be awoken by an icy touch on my cheek.

I groaned and rolled over. "Do I have a fever again?" I mumbled.

"No. I was just checking."

"That's good," I sighed.

"Alice, I know you don't feel well now. But I must ask you something."

"Mmm?"

"You mustn't go out to the rock in the trees anymore. Not until I say you may. Do you understand?"

"Why not?" I was too sleepy to be bothered by the request.

"Because...it's dangerous." He said. "Here, drink some of this tonic. It will help to restore your energy."

I tried to sit up but couldn't. I felt his hands, hard as stones, lift me and prop me against the wall.

"This is getting ridiculous," he grumbled as he held the cup to my mouth.

I drank some of the liquid. It was sweet and tangy with a slight bitter edge.

"I'm okay. I'm just tired," I said, struggling to open my eyes. He was kneeling next to my bed. I could barely see his face in the moonlight.

"I don't believe you," he told me. "I may need to resort to stealing more antidotes from the doctor's cabinet."

"Why is it dangerous at my rock?" I asked, already feeling the lethargy lift.

"There's a wild beast on the loose out there. It may be able to get into the lawn. I need to make sure it's gone before you can wander out of sight again."

"Oh." Something suddenly made sense. "I think I heard it out there today."

"You did?"

"Yes, it sounded..." I shuddered delicately, unable to think of words for the horrifying noises the creature had made.

"Good, so you'll stay out of the wooded area until I tell you."

"So I wasn't hallucinating. You were there, too." He didn't answer right away. I picked up the cup and drank some more of the tonic. It was working, whatever it was. "You ran so fast, I couldn't believe it. I was sure it must have been the drugs."

"It probably was the drugs." He smiled a little condescendingly.

I gulped the last of the tonic and sighed.

"But the beast wasn't, right?"

"Right. The dangerous beast in the woods is real. Me running a hundred miles-per-hour to fight it off is the drugs."

My head was mostly clear now. I nodded thoughtfully. "You didn't get hurt did you?" I asked.

"What?"

"When you were trying to fight it off. I never said you were running towards it. It never even occurred to me that you were going to fight it off. So why would you bring it up unless it was the truth?"

He glared at me.

I tried to give him a glare of my own. His was much more impressive, though. "Do you want me to trust you?"

He looked down, as if he was admitting a weakness. "Yes, I do."

"Then you need to trust me enough to be honest with me."

"You're right," he admitted.

He looked into my eyes, clear and alert now thanks to his medicine. We were silent for a long moment and it seemed like he was deciding, right then, whether or not to tell me the truth.

"What do you know about me, Alice? Tell me everything," he finally said.

"You want me to try summing it up?"

"If you can."

I thought for a while before I answered. "I can't see your future at all, or any future when you're near. You don't go into bright sunlight. You don't sleep. You're very strong." I remembered him wrestling with the alligator and smiled. "Your skin is very cold, pale, and hard. Your eyes are sometimes black and sometimes red. You can erase people's memories if you want to. You seem bewildered by normal things, like needing to... use a facility. But you're also very intelligent. You seem to understand medicine as well as or better than the doctor. You move very gracefully and when you walk you don't make any sound. And, unless I was hallucinating today, you can run incredibly fast and climb or leap over the high border fence."

He listened in silence. When I was done he nodded slowly. "What do you make of it?"

"I don't know what to make of it."

"You don't even have a guess?"

My brow furrowed in concentration. "I sort of considered that you might have discovered a new drug that can do some of these things. But that seems unlikely, and it doesn't explain my not being able to see your future. Also you don't seem like the kind of person who would experiment with drugs."

"You're right, it's not a drug. But you are closer than you might think."

"A food?"

He smiled. "No." Then he sighed. "I'm going to move to the other side of the room now. If you want me to leave, please don't scream. I don't want you to hurt yourself. Just tell me to and I will go."

I watched him, bewildered, as he walked with unconscious grace to sit on the stool.

"You're going to tell me your secret now?"

"Yes. You already know too much so you may as well know all."

I waited.

He gazed at me with careful eyes, took a deep breath, then spoke. "I'm not human, Alice. I was once, but I'm not now." He watched me for any sign that I might be too frightened, then he continued. "I was born in about four hundred AD, according to your calendars, in a village in Gaul. I was named after our king at the time." His voice sounded ironic. "I came from Teutonic peoples, but my first language was Latin.

"My life's work was farming. But my people went to war and I was called out. I only saw one battle. We were in Narbonne, fighting under a new king, Theodoric. The Romans claimed the high ground, and our king foolishly led us in a headlong attack against them. We didn't stand a chance. I was grievously wounded, as were many others during the battle. When the fighting was over and the field was empty except for the dead or dying... they came."

He paused, examining me for my reaction to his story so far. I wasn't sure what my expression was, but I was eager to hear more. So I nodded in encouragement.

"My eyes were weak and clouded with blood, but the creatures looked human to me. They moved over the field swiftly. It seemed that they were feeding on the fallen warriors. Before I could either make sense of what I was seeing or die I felt myself being lifted, then a sharp pain at my throat. I cried out from the pain and I heard another noise over the sound of my cry. I fell to the ground and it sounded like two of the creatures were fighting. I couldn't understand them, but I was in a great deal of pain.

"Soon the pain took over everything and I knew nothing else. I longed for death; I begged for death. But death never came."

He closed his eyes and shuddered.

"When the pain finally ended I was in a new place. I met the... creatures. The leader's name was Carbo, at least that's what he called himself. The other two were under his authority, members of his group. And I had become one of them."

Alaric took a breath before saying the next part.

"They were what your people call vampires, Alice, blood drinkers. I had become... I _am_ one."

I didn't say anything.

"Shall I continue?"

"Yes," I whispered, not sure how I felt besides being desperately curious.

"We had local mythology about blood drinkers, of course. The _lamia_, and the _striges_." He said the words in an unusual accent. In the easy, comfortable way of one speaking his native tongue. "But our mythology, like most, was far from the truth." He shook his head. "Carbo's group - his coven, if you will - didn't live in the ordinary way of our kind. They were averse to taking human life but they still needed blood, so they followed wars, trailing after and harvesting from the dead on battlegrounds. This was how I'd been introduced to their world. The newest member found me while harvesting from the field of dead. He knew I was near death and... didn't want to wait. He began feeding, but my cry had alerted Carbo. They disputed, but Carbo would not allow the new member to finish me.

"Since I'd been bitten I was infected with the vampire's venom." He winced a little. "The venom spreads, very painfully, working changes in the body until the infected human becomes a vampire himself."

He stopped, but I wanted to hear more. "What happened then?" I asked.

"I stayed with them for many years," he said casually. "I admired Carbo's vision, wanting to live in relative peace with humans. But there were other things to worry about, too." His voice was bleak. "In that time there were two powerful covens that ruled the vampire world: the Romanians and the Italians. Both were strong, but the Italians wanted more. They wanted sole dominion. They wanted to overthrow the opposition, so they began recruiting fighters. They promised to make the world better for our kind so that one day we could walk among humans unnoticed except for at feeding time. Carbo loved the idea. He was a visionary at heart and wanted to live in that better world, to not have to hide anymore.

"These vampires, they call themselves the Volturi now, led an attack on the Romanians. They overthrew them and destroyed their castles. There were casualties in that war, however. Carbo was among them.

"I've traveled a great deal since then, and I've done a great many things. But I never forgot those first years, or the lessons I learned."

I swallowed hard, preparing to ask a very difficult question.

"So, do you... drink...?"

"Only from the already deceased," he assured me. "That's one of the reasons I work here. The asylum loses two or three patients per month. That's usually enough."

I felt a little sick.

"Should I leave?" he asked, sounding worried.

"It's just a lot to take in," I told him.

"I know. But I thought it was for the best. You ought to understand the danger. The beast I warned you of in the woods is no animal. It is another of my kind. But this one doesn't concern himself with respect for human life. And, I might add, you are a particularly appetizing human."

This was a little too much for me. I felt dizzy, and if I had been standing would surely have fainted.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have mentioned that part," Alaric apologized.

"Just... give me a while. I just need time to think."

"Take all the time you need. If you never want to see me again I'll understand."

"No, I - "

"If you do," he interrupted me, "I will gladly come back and continue our conversations."

He paused by the door, and then walked out.

I stayed propped up against the wall, trying to come to grips with everything I'd heard.

Could it be true? The idea that my friend was a mythical creature of the night, a blood drinking monster, was hard to accept. But what other explanation was there for everything I knew about him?

I struggled to think about it analytically. There were really only three options. First, he could be lying to me. Second, he could be mistaken. And third, he could be telling the truth.

I tackled the first possibility. Was he lying to me? If so, why? I couldn't think of anything beneficial that would come to him by telling me such a falsehood, unless he was trying to frighten me. That seemed like a possibility. He didn't want me going into the woods. So telling me that there was a dangerous vampire out there would be sure to keep me away if I believed it. And if he didn't want me to know the truth about the strange things I knew about him, it could be possible that he might tell me this lie as a red herring. But what truth could be more horrific than being a vampire?

So maybe he really believed he was a vampire, even though he wasn't. I'd classified that as a "mistake" in my mind earlier. But there was no denying that such a belief would mean he was insane. Could he be? Could such an intelligent, clear-headed man be so insane as to think he was a mythological monster? That didn't seem possible. Besides, it didn't account for the long list of unusual and alarming things I knew about him.

So... lastly... could he be telling the truth?

I felt my heart race when I considered that. I compared everything I knew about vampires with everything I knew about him. It didn't seem to add up. Vampires were supposed to be corpses that left the grave by night to drink blood, and then return to their coffins during the day. They were supposed to be repelled by garlic, and able to be killed with a wooden stake through the heart. I'd seen Alaric out during the daytime, he frequently made meals with garlic, and if his chest was as hard as his hands and arms, I couldn't imagine a wooden stake being able to penetrate it. He'd said that mythology didn't ever really get it right. Could that be part of a convenient lie, or just the honest truth?

I was feeling more tired now. It was harder to think in straight lines. But as I drifted to sleep I realized that I was being silly. Of course he couldn't be a vampire. Vampires didn't exist. So it was impossible. The truth had to be some sort of combination of the other two possibilities. He must be lying, or mistaken, or both somehow.

The alternative was just too frightening.


	25. Weakness

**October 1948**

Jasper and I had spent the entire night sitting in the loft, my arm through his, and talking about whatever came to mind. At one point he'd told me the names of all the stars in all the constellations we could see. In exchange, I told him when the next meteor shower would be, where we could go to see the next lunar eclipse, and which star would be the next to go supernova.

The clouds had rolled in during the night, just as I'd promised, and now the sun was rising behind them, the sky lightening and the dew forming on the ground. The humans would be waking up and the stores would be opening soon.

"All right. I guess it's time," I sighed. I didn't really want to move. "Our first stop will have to be a clothing store."

"Are you _kidding?_" Jasper protested. Then he quickly added, "Do we really need new clothes already? You still look lovely."

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks, but I've been wearing this same outfit for almost a month now. It's time for a change. And I want to get you a new outfit, too. Then we can get the things we need for the house."

He sighed but didn't argue any further. Wise of him, there was no way he would have won this one.

We ran north through the woods until we got to the outskirts of Greenwood, then slowed to a quick human pace. After nearly a month of not having to slow down, it felt particularly irritating. Maybe it was just because I could feel the annoyance radiating from Jasper as well as my own.

"I'm going to learn to drive and get a car one of these days," I grumbled.

He chuckled. "Is that a resolution, or simply a statement of fact?"

I grinned. "Both. It will be a very fast car, too."

The scent of human gradually grew stronger as we made our way further into the town. After a maddeningly long time we arrived at a clothing retailer. I could tell that Jasper was uncomfortable. He wasn't as used to being thirsty around humans as I was, and he was struggling. We hadn't hunted in over a week. I realized now that we probably should have. It would have made things easier for him.

He opened the door for me and stiffened when the wave of concentrated human scent washed over us. I walked in and he followed after.

I honestly tried to be quick. I grabbed Jasper a pair of wool trousers, a blue button-down shirt, a new pair of shoes and socks, and a jacket. I found myself a long dress, fur coat, hat and winter boots. I would have loved to stay and look around some more, but Jasper was suffering. I paid for the items quickly, keeping tabs on the immediate future, just in case.

When we were back outside I led him around the corner where we could talk. "I'm sorry," I breathed quickly. "I didn't know it would be that hard for you. Maybe we should go hunt again and then come back."

He let out an exasperated sigh. "No, we're already here. We should get the supplies."

"I don't want you to be uncomfortable." I said.

"Was I... did I almost...?"

"No. You were strong," I assured him. "But I know you're suffering and I don't want to push you too hard."

He took a breath through his nose and winced. Was the smell out here on the streets still too much? Maybe after the assault in the store his will was weakening. I scanned his immediate future and my heart dropped when I saw a vision of him returning to the cabin.

"I think I should go back," he admitted, confirming my vision. I felt a twinge of shame from him when he said this.

I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Don't be ashamed. Do whatever you must to resist. I won't think any less of you for it."

He was a little surprised at the embrace, but pleased also. He hugged me back briefly. "Thank you."

"I'll be back to the cabin as soon as I can," I promised.

"I'll be waiting."

It felt wrong to walk away from him. I didn't want Jasper to feel that I'd lost faith in him. I also knew he felt terrible leaving me alone. But he would feel worse if something bad happened here. And there was a distinct possibility of that happening if he didn't leave.

He took the bags of new clothes and walked back along the same road we'd taken into town. I watched him leaving for a moment, then turned and followed the street around the next corner.

I entered the hardware store with a confident stride and told the salesman what I was looking for. It took a little while to convince him that I knew what I was doing and did not need someone to come help me with my big project. He was a little more persistent than he really needed to be.

Fortunately, they had everything we needed right there, so I didn't need to make a side trip. I would be able to get back to Jasper that much sooner.

After today we wouldn't have to return to town for a long while unless we really wanted to. But maybe coming back would be a good idea, anyway. It was harder for me to ignore the human scent than it had been three weeks ago. I'd been able to tolerate it easier when I was accustomed to it. So maybe if Jasper was around it more he, too, could develop some resistance.

I paid for the supplies and assured the salesman that the bags were not too heavy for me and, no, I did not need help to my car, thank you.

Then I began the slow, tedious walk back out of town. I really would need to get a car eventually. It would make things like this go so much faster. And, also, it was suspicious for someone who looked as small and weak as I did to be carrying bags like these out of town by hand. There were difficulties, though. Difficulties I hadn't yet been able to overcome. The humans required legal documents for so many things I would like to have. A car was just one of those things. I'd tried finding a good forger a couple of times. But seeing the future had its limits as to what it could get you.

I'd been able to find forgers, of course, but they weren't really _good_ ones. And I'd been able to find people who knew of really good forgers, but couldn't get the information from them I needed. The "morally challenged" humans tended to be wary of me. And offering a large bribe, in this case at least, only seemed to make them more suspicious.

I was nearly out of the public eye when I decided to check on Jasper. I hoped he hadn't been too bored waiting for me in the cabin with nothing to do. And I hoped he didn't still feel bad about leaving me alone in the city. He would have to learn that I really could take care of myself. He didn't need to feel tormented about silly little things like this.

I leaned against a tree, as if taking a break from walking, and focused on Jasper's immediate future. The very first thing I noticed was that he wasn't where I expected him to be. He was down by a stream, rinsing his hands in the running water. The water was tinged with red. I saw his eyes and gasped in horror.

"Oh, no!" I cried.

I dashed away from the tree and up the road as quickly as I could, a little less careful than I had previously been. But my senses were heightened in alarm and I easily breezed past the few people I encountered completely unnoticed.

Still, I knew my haste was useless. I was too late.

I wasn't sure exactly where he was, so I made for the cabin first. From there I could easily pick up his trail and follow it.

When I reached the cabin I dropped my bags just inside the door-frame, next to where he'd left our new clothes, and circled the perimeter. Finding the point where he'd wandered off, I followed his scent down an old deer trail. What had he been _doing?_ I should have been paying better attention!

After a couple of miles I could smell the faint whiff of blood on the breeze, _human_ blood. I grimaced as the familiar fire burned fiercely in my throat, but I followed the scent, fighting the instinct to crouch and stalk. I _wasn't_ tracking prey. This was _not_ a hunting trip.

As I drew closer I knew he could hear my approach, but still I moved slowly, careful not to alarm him. I pushed through the last few bushes into the clearing where he sat. This was not where the ghastly event had taken place. The only scent of blood here was what lingered on his breath.

He was sitting cross-legged on the ground, his back to me. He didn't turn at the sound of my approach, but I could feel his profound guilt and shame as I drew nearer.

I approached him slowly and rested my hand on his shoulder. He recoiled from my touch and I drew my hand away, hurt by his rejection.

"Jasper..." I choked, but didn't know how to continue.

"I'm... very sorry," he said. I could feel his anguish, agony and despair more powerful than the words alone could convey.

"I know," I told him. "I know how much it hurts you when you hunt humans. I understand how it depresses you." I sighed, angry with myself for letting him out of my sight, for not keeping better track of him. My carelessness had caused him this pain. "I should have come with you," I growled.

I did a quick check to make sure no further damage would be done from his hunt. The humans would find the body eventually, but no one would ever suspect it had been anything other than a rock slide accident. Jasper had covered his tracks well.

"Come on, let's get back to the cabin," I said, still glum. If I'd been paying the tiniest bit of attention earlier today, if I'd made any effort to think in advance that we should have gone hunting before going into town, this could have been avoided.

Jasper followed me back to the cabin, his feelings spiraling through various levels of pain and dismay: horror, anguish, shame, worry, guilt, sorrow. Feeling just the echoes of these emotions coursing through him made me even angrier at myself. I wished I could do or say something to ease his suffering, but I wasn't sure what he needed from me. What could I do? Could I do anything or should I leave him in peace? I was so conflicted I couldn't even see what course I should take, because I couldn't bring myself to decide on anything without knowing that it wouldn't just make things worse. Because of my indecision all I could see was that we would work in silence for the rest of the day.

When we reached the cabin, Jasper went straight to the supplies, gathering what he would need to construct the door. I grabbed an armful of timber, leaped to the roof, and started reinforcing the support beams, pushing the nails through the wood with my thumb. Jasper began fashioning the door, cutting the boards to size with his teeth.

The day progressed slowly and in silence. By dusk I'd finished the roof with a few shingles to spare and went inside to see if Jasper would accept my help with the chinking. He'd already finished the door and windows.

I could feel his tension increase as I drew nearer. That confused me a little at first; then I realized that he must be angry with me, too. I could have prevented him from taking that human's life, and he knew it. My throat tightened, but I stepped closer anyway. We really did need to talk.

"Jasper, I'm sorry. Really. I should have known... We should have taken more precautions. I'm an idiot. Of course we should have hunted first before going into town. And I shouldn't have let you come back here on your own when you were feeling so..." I trailed off when I looked up at him. His eyes were incredulous, his emotions wavering between shock and disbelief.

"_You're_ sorry?" he asked.

"Yes, I am." What else could we be talking about? "I know that I have limitations, but this really should have been obvious to me. If I had stopped to think about what we were doing, that human would still be alive and you wouldn't be suffering like this now." I took another step closer to him, reaching out to take his hand. He didn't reject me this time.

"You aren't angry with me?" Disbelief colored his tone.

"Of course not. I'm mad at myself, at my own thoughtlessness."

He closed his eyes again and shook his head. "You have nothing to be sorry about," he whispered. "I don't think you understand."

"I do, though. I feel the same way when..." I skipped over the last part of that sentence. "I do understand how much pain it causes you."

"But that's not why... not this time." His low voice was strained; he took a deep breath before he continued. "I don't think I can do this. I'm not strong enough to be around humans, to live this life. You shouldn't have to be watching me every moment like you're babysitting a _newborn_. I couldn't even stay with you in town for just a few hours! You leave me alone just once and I..." He growled and buried his face in his hands. "I... I'm not good. I'm too weak!" He groaned. Then he looked at me. His eyes, now a burning orange, like melted gold, were full of agony. "I'm no good for you, Alice. I don't deserve your love. And you deserve much better than me."

My breath caught in my throat. It was the first time he'd mentioned our relationship beyond just companions or friends.

I released his hand and reached up to touch his agonized face.

"You listen to me, Jasper," I said in a scolding voice. "You may have weaknesses. But you are a _good person_!" He didn't answer, but he closed his eyes and I heard his silent denial. "You may have only known me for three weeks, but I've known you all my life. My very first memory is of you!"

He still didn't answer, but he opened his eyes again. He was listening at least.

"You asked me once how I managed to survive my first year. What I told you was the truth, but not all of it. Not the most important part." I paused before continuing, deciding on the best way to explain it. "Before I woke up all the way I had a vision. You remember, I sort of mentioned it to you once."

He nodded slightly, the pain still in his eyes.

"I had a vision that one day you would come to me. I didn't know anything else at the time, not my name, not what was happening, not where I was, not even what I was. But in the vision you came, you took my hand and you smiled. When I saw that I felt hope, even though I didn't really understand it at the time... Then I woke up and started slaughtering people," We both winced and I hurried on. "But I knew that someday you would find me. And that pulled me through it. I knew that eventually we would meet. I knew we would be together. I knew that you would love me. You saved me, Jasper. If it weren't for you, I don't know what I would have become." My voice had grown quiet and solemn.

He was still staring into my eyes, his expression and emotions now unfathomable. I gazed back, very seriously. "You think that you're just doing all this for me. But, I'm doing it for you, too. We're in this together."

He closed his eyes and sighed, bowing his head low in sorrow. "Can you ever forgive me?" he plead.

I wanted to laugh at such a ridiculous question, but I didn't. I leaned in, closed my eyes, and touched my forehead to his. He let out a sigh at the contact and I could feel the wave of relief roll out from him.

"Of course I do," I breathed.

Physical touch always made the transfer of his feelings stronger. His surge of relief swelled and transformed. It grew into something unrecognizable, but very powerful. It was a crazy mixture of joy, sorrow, disbelief, excitement, fear, confusion, and longing.

We stood like that for a long moment, not moving; his emotions radiating to me, resonating, growing stronger, and flowing back to him.

His breathing sped as he considered something. I could see what he was planning and felt a trembling of anticipation somewhere deep within me.

Very slowly, with his eyes still closed, he lifted his hand. I knew he was doing it, but I still felt a shock when his fingers stroked my neck, just behind my ear. So slowly, so carefully, like he was moving at human speed, his fingers fanned out combing through my short hair. His palm cupped my cheek, his thumb brushing lightly against my eyelashes.

I wasn't sure whose emotions I was feeling anymore. Was it my desire or his that had me trembling at his touch? Was the excitement his? Was the anticipation mine? It was impossible to discern.

He slowly brought his other hand up, gliding his fingers around my neck, cradling my head in his palm. He tilted my head back and his sweet, intoxicating breath washed across my face. I could smell faint traces of blood and my throat burned dryly, but at this point I really didn't care anymore. I wanted so badly to close the tiny space between us. But I had to let him do that. I had to go at his pace, even now.

He hesitated for a moment longer, then moved in closer. Very gently, so gently a human might not have been able to feel it, his lips brushed against mine.

Like a dam breaking under too much pressure, the slow build of our joint passion burst at the contact. I sighed and threw my arms around his neck, knowing he would feel the relief and happiness gushing from me. His response was immediate and enthusiastic. His lips fused fiercely to mine and I suddenly found myself caught up in his embrace. His powerful arms wrapped tightly around my waist, his hard chest pressed firmly into me.

His right hand glided down to my lower back, pulling me in tighter. The fingers of his left hand traced up my spine to my neck and I trembled in response. My lips parted and I could taste his rich flavor on my tongue.

He moved his head to the side, brushing his cheek against mine, running his lips against my jaw line until they reached my ear.

"Alice..." he breathed. His voice was ragged, but soft as a moth's wing beat. "You are the best thing that has _ever_ happened to me."

I didn't answer. I didn't have to. I felt I would explode with happiness and I was certain he could feel it, too.

He gently lowered me back to the floor.

"Everything is going to be fine, Jazz. More than fine. It's going to be wonderful," I promised, beaming at him.

His smile shifted into an amused smirk. "You're wrong, Alice."

I was surprised and a little confused. I scanned the future to see if I'd missed something, but was brought back to the present when I felt his fingertips stroking my cheek.

"It is already wonderful," he explained. "I've been in a constant state of wonder since the first moment I saw you."

**Author's Note:**** To read this from Jasper's point of view go to Eternal Hope, When Jasper Met Alice. :)  
><strong>


	26. Belief

**January 1919**

Time moved forward; sometimes in quick jumps, making me wonder where large chunks of it had gone, sometimes dragging so slowly that every day felt like a year.

The "treatments" continued on a weekly basis. No two sessions were exactly the same. The only common denominator being that I could scarcely remember what happened during them. Sometimes they left me nauseated and weak for days on end. Sometimes I recovered almost immediately. Sometimes I would wake up, expecting to be taken to a session, only to find that I'd already been and it was a day later than I thought it was. Sometimes I would receive an injection, sometimes pills, and sometimes I was given electric shocks. They were all just varying flavors of horrible.

I was still holding onto the vain hope of leaving the asylum someday. Surely, after awhile they would figure out that they couldn't make me see visions for them.

Or were the "treatments" really working as they were intended to? Since I couldn't remember what was happening, could it be that, in a drugged or unconscious state, I was doing what they asked? I hoped not. If that were the case I would never get out of here. But it seemed unlikely, anyway. If they found something that worked why were my visits with the doctor all so different? It seemed more like they were still trying to figure out a formula that would force me to submit.

Alaric had come back to my room the very next night after telling me he was a vampire, knocking timidly and asking if he was still welcome. This seemed to confirm the hypothesis that he'd been telling the truth. If he'd been lying, the only explanation could be that he'd been trying to frighten me into not wanting him around anymore. If he was afraid that was the case, it wouldn't add up.

I had let him in, of course. But I was still skeptical. I couldn't bring myself to believe what he assured me was the truth. It couldn't be the truth. It was impossible.

He seemed bemused that I wouldn't simply accept what he told me as fact. And, ever since then, he'd been persistently trying to convince me that he was a vampire. Only I wouldn't be convinced.

I was lying on my bed with my face buried in my pillow, waiting for nightfall. Whatever they'd given me this last time had made my eyes very sensitive to the light. The dim evening luster in my room was painful, even with my eyes tightly shut.

This was one of those times when every minute seemed like an hour. I wished I could just fall asleep, but my heart was racing, blood pounding in my temples like I was sprinting. Sleep was impossible until my body could get rid of whatever cocktail of drugs I'd been dosed with.

Seconds ticked by slowly, painfully. I never lifted my face from the pillow. It felt like the day would never end.

I heard the door open and the shuffle of feet. A nurse or attendant came in and took my untouched tray of food, then left. I was desperately hungry, but I hadn't been able to eat anything. The orange light shining through my window was too much to bear.

More time passed. My heart started to slow a little. That was a good sign. I tried peeking out from my pillow, but the glare of sunlight stabbed into my eyes like a thousand pricking needles. I groaned and thrust my face back into the darkness.

I waited and waited, hoping that either night would come or the horrible drugs would wear off. But I didn't dare remove the pillow from over my eyes to check if either had come to pass.

I was cramping up terribly from staying in the same position for so long when it finally happened. I heard a light tap at my door.

Then I was faced with a dilemma. How could I call for him to come in, with my face buried in my pillow? Could I really trust that the sun was down, and lift my face to speak?

"Please just come in," I moaned into the pillow. I never dreamed he would hear, but I hoped he would come in anyway.

The door creaked open, then closed again.

"Why do you have your face in your pillow?" Alaric asked.

I moaned again. In order to answer him I'd have to move my head and risk the light.

I heard him take a deep breath.

"Is light bothering you?" he asked.

"Mmm Hmm."

"The sun has set. It may be tolerable now."

I slowly rolled my head to the side. The room looked strangely light, even though everything was in shades of grey. I looked over toward the window and winced. The moonlight streaming in hurt my eyes.

"Let me see," Alaric said. He crouched next to me and gazed into my eyes.

"Your pupils are extremely dilated. Do you feel anxious?"

"Yes," I admitted.

"It seems they're experimenting with stimulants again."

"The doctor still won't let you in when he's treating me?"

He shook his head. "Mr. Matranga won't allow it. He's suspicious of me. I think because, on some level, he senses that I'm more dangerous than he is."

I rolled my eyes.

"Why won't you believe me? On some level you must comprehend the truth. Your instincts told you on our first meeting what I was. And now you won't believe me even when I tell you with my own words."

"I might believe you if I could see some sort of proof. But how else could I believe my only friend is some blood-drinking mythical creature?"

"What proof can I offer, here in this room? I certainly can't allow you to watch me feed." He shuddered at the thought and I suppressed a shudder of my own. I'd been trying very hard not to visualize what he'd described: drinking the blood of the recently deceased. "You already know that I'm stronger than humans are, I'm faster, you've seen my red eyes, you've felt my cold skin. What more could you want? What more can I do?"

"Maybe if you drank blood from a cup? I think I could handle seeing that."

His expression looked frightened for an instant, then fierce. "Impossible," he said.

"Why not?"

"Alice, If I was anywhere near you when I was feeding I don't think I would be able to stop myself from attacking you. The instinct would be too strong. And, to be quite honest, you smell much too appetizing."

"I suppose I should say thank you?"

He chuckled.

"What could you do to prove it if we were somewhere else?" I asked, curious because he'd been so specific before, saying 'what more can I do here _in this room?_'

"I could prove it quite easily, I think, somewhere else. As long as you don't require watching me feed. I'm strong enough to pull a tree out of the ground with one hand. I can run much faster than any horse or automobile. I can dive into the ocean and never need to come up for air. I can be shot with a firearm and not bear a mark. If you were to see me in the bright sunlight, it would look to you like my skin was made of crystals, it's quite alarming at first, actually."

"That would be very impressive," I admitted.

He sighed, exasperated.

"Is the other one still out there?" I asked.

"So, you believe the creature out there is a vampire, but not I?"

"I believe that something's out there. And I'll trust you that it's dangerous."

He shook his head. "He's still out there. I can't fathom what he's thinking, though. He seems to be leaving and returning at strange intervals. He doesn't seem particularly interested in feeding from the stock of patients here. But he keeps coming back." He shook his head again. "He won't let me get close enough to talk to him anymore. After our first conflict I think he's afraid I'll attack him. Though he's at least equal to me as a fighter."

"So he's dangerous to you, too?" I was frightened for him, in spite of my disbelief.

"I fear he is very dangerous. I've spent almost my entire existence in peace, avoiding conflict whenever possible. It's not always possible, so I'm not a complete novice in battle. But from what I've seen, it appears he has more experience than I have, even though he's much younger than I am."

I had to remind myself that we were talking about fantasy here. It couldn't be anything more dangerous than a boar, or maybe a wildcat. Someone could go out with a rifle and take care of it. I shuddered anyway.

"There is something else, Alice," he continued, darkly.

"What?"

"I don't think it's possible for me to help you escape anymore, even should you wish it. Not while this one is lurking just beyond the fence. I fear that if he knows you're vulnerable he might seek you out. As I've said. You are a particularly appetizing human."

"What does that mean, anyway?"

He thought for a moment.

"For humans, when you smell a food, does one food smell better than another sometimes?"

"Yes, of course," I played along.

"Which food smells the best, do you think?"

"Hmm... Maybe my mother's rum cake."

He nodded thoughtfully. "Okay, so let's say that you have an ordinary meal waiting for you, whatever your usual fare is. You come home and you can smell your usual meal on the table. You're hungry and it smells good. But you also smell that your mother has made a rum cake. It's sitting on the stove, still warm, waiting to be sliced and eaten. If you were in this situation, which would smell more appetizing to you?"

"The rum cake of course."

He nodded. "In the same way, every human has a unique scent. All of you smell quite appealing, but some more so than others. You, Alice, happen to have a _very_ nice bouquet."

"So, you're saying if this other one knew you'd freed me, he might come after me because I smell so delicious?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying. So, until he leaves for good, I feel it's actually safer for you to remain in here."

"That's a bit ironic, isn't it?"

"A little," he agreed, grimly.

"What if he doesn't go away? You say that your kind is immortal. Wouldn't that mean he could stay out there forever?"

"I think he'll have to move on, eventually. Since he hunts you people - " He gestured to me, " - he can't stay in one place very long before attracting attention. And that's something we aren't allowed to do."

"Aren't allowed to? By whom?"

"Do you remember the story I told you about how I was turned into a vampire?"

"Most of it, I think."

"Do you remember that I told you there was a war between two ruling vampire covens? The Macedonians and the Villanovans?"

I nodded.

"The Villanovan coven, in present day Italy, won the war in the end. And ever since then they have been the sole ruling family. I say family, but they aren't really related. They don't even act much like a family, but they're the closest our kind has to one. They make the rules for all vampires to follow. If we disobey those rules, we are hunted down and destroyed."

He must have put a lot of thought into this make-believe universe.

"Rules?" I asked, hesitantly.

"Yes, the main one being to let no humans know of our existence."

"But... if that's a rule, then you've broken it. Haven't you?"

"Does that mean you believe me now?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Hypothetically, of course," I added, hastily.

His eyes narrowed slightly. Then he sighed. "Yes, I have. So if I ever do set you free I'll have to erase all this from your memory, for your own safety as well as mine. If they found out you knew, you would be destroyed as well..."

"You would erase my memory? All of this? My entire time at the asylum?"

"And a little bit before. You remember our unusual first day together?"

I frowned. "That's too bad."

"I thought you might not want to remember any of your time here. It can't be enjoyable for you."

"No, it isn't. But I don't want to forget you. You've been so kind to me, and you've helped my family so much."

He smiled a little. "It's the way it has to be, I'm afraid. The only ones who are allowed to know about our existence are...ourselves. As long as the Volturi are in power, that is."

"Alaric, I would never tell anyone your secret. You can trust me."

"It doesn't matter to them whether or not you're trustworthy, Alice. The law must be obeyed. That means no human can ever be allowed to know about us. It's risky enough letting you know what you do now. If they found out..." He shook his head, grimacing.

"They'd kill me?" I asked in a breathless voice. It was ridiculous to be frightened. We were talking about a lie, or make-believe.

"Actually, they probably wouldn't."

"I'm confused."

"The last time I had an encounter with the Volturi there was one among them who could sense extra abilities - abilities like mine and like yours. If he were to discover what you can do, I'm fairly certain that they wouldn't kill you; they would change you." He said this as though he were speaking of a fate worse than death.

"Is that a...very bad thing?"

"In many ways, yes it is. There are some who are quite content with this fate. But those who have compassion, who care about people, they have a very hard time with it."

"Do you have a hard time with it? You're one of the most compassionate people I've met."

He half smiled. "Thank you. And yes, I do have difficulty with my existence at times."

"But, if you're telling the truth, it seems you've found a way to exist without killing anyone. So why would it be difficult for you?""

"Hmm, how can I explain?" He frowned, considering. Then continued. "Have you ever been unbearably thirsty, Alice?"

"I guess so."

"Then probably not. If you'd ever been as thirsty as I'm trying to describe, you would know it. So thirsty you would drink almost anything to quench it. So thirsty it would drive you mad, literally insane."

I didn't respond but my eyes widened.

"When someone first becomes one of our kind he is driven so mad with thirst for human blood that he will prey on his own family, his parents, his spouse, his children even. After a while he develops some self-control. But still, human scent is a terrible temptation. Being around a human, smelling the scent of human blood, even through the fragile membrane of skin, it aggravates the thirst. It causes physical pain. And even very mature vampires will occasionally have a lapse in control.

"There are other hardships as well. For you, you'd never be able to rejoin your sister. You would never be able to bear children. Add to all this the risk of exposure. If a mistake is made and the human population grows too suspicious, the Volturi will get involved. They are not forgiving. All of this, and that not even taking into consideration the pain of the transformation itself."

He scowled at the ground, seeming to brood over something.

"Would you rather be dead than be what you...say you are?"

His eyes moved to my face, pained.

"I'm not sure. Sometimes I think death would be welcome. I've been alive for so very long. My life should have ended fourteen hundred years ago, yet here I am."

"If it's worth anything, I'm glad you're here."

He smiled at me. "That is worth something."

Then I frowned, thinking over what he'd been saying.

"What is the matter?"

"It's just that... if what you're saying is true, then you must be in pain right now. Because, here with me in my room, you would be able to smell my blood."

He nodded. "You're beginning to understand. It is worse, being here in the enclosed space with you. But, truthfully, I can smell your scent all the way down the hall. I can smell it when a breeze blows past your window and I'm out in the gardens. If I happened to be in the right location downwind of you, I could be many miles away and still be able to catch your scent."

"I guess it's time to take a bath..." I mumbled.

Alaric chuckled. "It's a very pleasing scent, Alice, as I've said. I'm trying to explain that proximity doesn't make too much of a difference. Of course your blood is more of a temptation when I'm near you, when your scent is strong and I can feel the heat from your body and hear the beating of your heart. But it's nearly impossible to escape human scent entirely. I would have to go into the deepest forest or most remote wilderness. And then I wouldn't be able to satisfy the thirst at all. It's better for me to be here, where I can keep my needs under control by means safe for both humans and myself."

I flinched when he mentioned, though vaguely, his feeding habits. His _pretend_ feeding habits, I told myself. I changed the subject quickly.

"You can hear my heart beat?"

"Certainly."

"From there?"

"Of course." Then something seemed to dawn on him. "Alice. You are telling yourself that I'm fabricating this entire story. That I'm either lying to you or completely insane, correct?"

"Maybe not _completely_ insane."

"You need some sort of proof that I'm telling you the truth."

"But you can't provide any."

"There is one thing that might convince you. It just occurred to me. I want you to listen to my chest."

I stared at him, not sure what my expression was. But it was probably the same expression I would have been wearing if he'd told me there were pink and purple lobsters crawling around in my bed.

"Just try it. Humor me this once, please." He began unbuttoning his shirt, exposing his bare chest. I had to keep myself from gawking at how muscular it was, how perfectly sculpted.

He sat next to me, holding his shirt open.

I eyed him warily, but he nodded in encouragement.

I leaned in, carefully pressed my ear to his chest, and gasped in shock.

The first thing I noticed was how cold he was. I'd noticed the cold before, when he touched me with his fingers. But people's fingers can be cold sometimes. This was more noticeably unusual, like he'd just finished swimming in freezing, arctic waters.

The second thing I noticed was how hard his skin was. It was like pressing my face against the stone wall of my room, only much smoother.

The third thing I noticed was the scent coming off of him. It was such a sweet, pleasing aroma. I inhaled deeply, trying to define it. It had a spicy edge to it, reminding me of the cabinet in the kitchen back home where Mother kept all the cooking spices. Pepper, rosemary, bay, sage...this didn't quite smell like any of them; it was like a unique spice I'd never smelled before.

"Listen carefully," Alaric murmured.

The vibration of his voice resonated through his chest. I listened. I could hear the air flowing in and out of his lungs. But I didn't hear anything unusual. I lifted my face and looked at him, curiously.

"I don't hear anything."

"Really?" He grinned. "Are you sure about that?"

"I heard you breathing." I shrugged, wondering where he was going with this, and trying not to show how affected I was by the contact.

"So...you didn't hear my heart beating?"

This derailed me. I did a double take, opened my mouth to speak, but forgot what I was going to say. I shook my head and started over.

"No, I don't think I did."

"Try again if you like. You won't hear it."

I did try again. His chest was a little bit warmer this time, but only because heat had transferred to him from my skin. He didn't breath; he sat completely motionless. I furrowed my brow in concentration, listening hard. But I heard nothing. He was so cold, hard, and so perfectly still. It was like pressing my face into a statue.

I finally gave up. I took in one last whiff of his scent and leaned back.

"Well?" He awaited the verdict.

I shook my head. "I can't hear it."

"Because it's not beating." He saw my puzzled expression and explained. "Once the transformation is complete, from human to vampire, the heart ceases to beat. My heart has been still for over a millennium. Do you believe me now?"

I scowled at the floor. In my mind the debate raged. I didn't want to accept it. It sounded so crazy, and so terrible. But it didn't seem that I had a choice anymore. The evidence was overpowering. I lost my tenuous hold on doubt.

"What else could explain all this?" I mumbled.

"Nothing that I know of." He shrugged, buttoning up his shirt again.

"I think I really just didn't want to believe you."

"It is quite horrific," he conceded.

"That, and also because it means whoever is out there is not just a wild animal. It's something much more frightening."

He nodded slowly. "All you need to do is wait and not wander off alone. He can't take you from the asylum while you're inside. And when you're outside, if you're within view of the staff, he can't touch you. It would break the rules I explained to you."

"And the others?"

"The staff doesn't venture into the wooded area much, and the other patients not at all. I don't think there's any more risk to them here than there usually is. I'm only concerned for you because you happen to smell so delicious."

I grimaced. Now that I was allowing myself to admit the truth, the idea that I was an appealing food source made me especially queasy.

"Do you need something to help you sleep?" he asked.

"I am a little keyed up," I admitted.

"Your heart is racing," he noted. "Are you frightened?"

"Yes. But it might also be the drugs."

"I'll get you something that will help."

He rose and moved quickly to the door. He opened it and disappeared into the hallway. Before a full minute had passed the door opened again and he brought me a small cup with some mysterious liquid inside.

I took a sip. Whatever it was tasted sweet and heady. When I swallowed it, I felt an intense warming sensation spread from my stomach through my chest. My tense muscles relaxed and the anxious sensation started to recede.

"It's not technically a medicine," Alaric explained with a conspiratorial grin. "But the doctor keeps a bottle of this stuff in his office, and it will help to relax you."

"Thanks," I sighed when I'd finished, I could feel tendrils of warmth radiating from my chest and loosening my tense muscles.

"Now try to get some sleep," he ordered, like a doting father. He took the cup from me and glided to the door. "Goodnight, Alice."


	27. Forger

**Author's Note: Greetings, gentle readers! You can now follow me on Twitter! "B_Messenger". I will post banners to my stories, answer questions, and maybe even give sneak peeks for what's to come!**

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><p><strong>January 1949<strong>

"Call me crazy but I think I'll call." I shrugged casually, tossing my money into the pot. All I had was a pair of deuces, but I knew this hand was mine. I smiled innocently.

Sam's confident grin melted, he threw his cards to the table in disgust. He had nothing, and I knew it. There was a mixture of grumbling and impressed murmurs from the other three at the table.

"Damn it! How the hell do you do that?" Sam exclaimed, angrily.

"Female intuition." I smiled and winked at him, leaning forward to scoop up my cash. I was wearing a low-cut dress and I saw his eyes flash to my cleavage; the irritation in his expression seemed to fade a little bit.

Jasper, who had been pacing outside the front door, gritted his teeth and decided to come in. His discomfort with the situation had been growing steadily for the past couple of hours. He strolled up behind me and I could feel the hostility emanating from him as he glared at the men sitting at the table.

"Sir," he addressed Sam. "I would appreciate it if you wouldn't speak so coarsely to the lady." His words, spoken in his soft southern accent, were civil. But his tone was dark.

For a split second Sam looked like he was going to challenge the request, until he looked up and saw Jasper standing over me, furious, tall, leonine, and dangerous.

Sam's heart picked up and sweat beaded on his forehead. He looked back at me, with a half-terrified half-ashamed expression. "Sorry 'bout that".

"That's okay." I smiled at him, reaching up to take Jasper's hand. "Do you boys want to play another hand or do you want to save some money for your whiskey this week?"

"I... I think I'm done for the day," Sam stammered. His eyes flickered to Jasper, who was radiating hostility in his posture over me. "If that's all right with you, of course... ma'am."

The others all seemed to instantly remember other obligations at the same time.

"...think I'm through, too..."

"...better be gettin' home to the wife..."

"...lost enough for one day..."

"Very sensible." I nodded to them, hiding my irritation. The men all got up and made haste in the general direction of the exit.

"I told you!" I hissed at Jasper, in a whisper too low for the humans in the bar to hear. "You always scare them away!"

"I don't much care for the way these men feel towards you," Jasper muttered back, not the least bit contrite.

"If I'm only allowed to play with people who aren't physically attracted to me I'll end up in a retirement home playing bingo with little old women!"

Jasper started towards the door, dragging me along with him. We stepped out into the evening light and started making our way down the street.

"I don't like the idea of you in those places at all," he confessed. "And I know you can take care of yourself. That's not it. It's just that – " He grimaced. " – I don't like you socializing with that crowd."

I was still a little frustrated, but also touched at his chivalry.

"Well, _you_ could play. But how could you be sure to win? And if you won, how would you know that you weren't leaving someone with five kids to feed completely destitute?"

"There's got to be another way," he growled.

"Sure there is. I've done pretty well at horse races, though that's not always a sure thing. I can make a kill at a casino, but there aren't any of those around here." I shrugged. "Of course if I could find a really good forger we'd be able to go legit. I could open a bank account and we wouldn't have to keep such a low supply of funds on hand. We could even get jobs or go to school if we wanted to." I sighed.

"Maybe I can help to establish the contact?" Jasper offered.

"I wish you could," I answered, skeptically. After all, if _I_ couldn't find one how could he?

"I think I might be able to. I would like to do something useful for once. And it would make you happy. Surely there's no harm in trying."

"It would involve close contact with humans," I warned in a low voice. "You've been doing very well. But you're still new at this. I don't want you to push yourself too hard."

He smiled and lifted my hand to kiss it. "Give me a chance?"

I smiled back. "How much of one?"

He thought about it for a second.

"The sun is setting now. You run off and buy some new clothes, find a good book or two while you're at it. I'll meet you back at the cabin before sunrise."

My smile faded. He wanted to do this tonight? And alone?

"I don't know, Jazz. Are you sure?"

He gazed at me with his warm tawny eyes, light from our recent hunt. "I'm pretty sure I can handle it tonight," he assured me. "If I can't – " He gritted his teeth. " – it's not your fault."

I frowned and scanned ahead for him. I couldn't tell what he would be up to. He hadn't made any decisions yet.

He chuckled at my frustrated expression. "Just trust me, please? I would like to have the chance to at least try."

I lifted my hand to his face and looked into his eyes. I was torn. I wanted to give him the opportunity he was asking for. So far in our relationship I'd been the one in control. It couldn't always be that way. He needed to have the opportunity to "be a man". On the other hand I wanted to be with him, to protect him from making a painful mistake.

He felt confident at the moment. Being in town hadn't bothered him too much this time. But things could change so quickly.

His expression softened under my touch. He put his hand over mine, holding it to his face, and smiled.

"Okay," I sighed. "You can go ahead and try. But I'm warning you; it's harder than it sounds. The people I'm talking about aren't swayed easily by money. And they're very skittish."

"I'll keep that in mind."

I reached into my purse and pulled out a few hundred in cash for him, just in case a miracle happened and he somehow actually found who he was looking for.

"I'll be back tonight," he promised.

"You'd better be," I scowled, mostly teasing. "Or I'm coming to find you."

He leaned in and kissed me softly. I felt the now-familiar ache of desire blossoming in my stomach. Too soon, he released me. He smiled warmly, and then bounded off into the shadows.

I sighed watching him leave. There was still one wall up between us: one irritating, stubborn wall. Not that we could really have done anything here in the public streets, but even in the private of our own personal cabin in the woods... Jasper was a gentleman.

We never really openly talked about it, but I knew basically how the conversation would go if I brought it up. And I knew he really didn't want me to. Not yet anyway. And even though I was seriously frustrated by our current physical limitations, I knew I needed to give him time.

I dutifully headed to the nearest department store and busied myself with stocking up on the latest fashions. I had to be careful not to buy so much that I would look ridiculous carrying it all back by hand. I made a mental note to come back for a few items some other time.

I checked on Jasper periodically, too. He was running quite a distance away from the town. From his present urban surroundings it looked like he must be heading north to Indianapolis.

A couple of hours later I checked on him again. He was in a nightclub. The big band on stage dressed all in tuxedos and playing jazz. Jasper was sitting at a table near the dance floor, speaking with a man who looked terribly uncomfortable in his presence.

I decided to hit the bookstore quickly while it was still open. Neither of us read as much as we used to. We preferred each other's company and conversation most of the time now, but we still enjoyed a book now and then. I found a few promising titles and paid for them just before the store closed.

With my bags in hand I walked slowly back towards the cabin, keeping tabs on Jasper's future. He was traveling again, moving further north. I scanned further ahead and saw that he was heading to Chicago. Had he found a lead? Maybe he'd run into a dead end in Indianapolis and was expanding his search.

I trudged through the streets at the ridiculously slow pace of a walking human. When I was finally in a dark remote area I started running. From there it only took me about ten more minutes to get back to the cabin.

I sorted the new clothes and weeded out the old ones I didn't want anymore. Those were destined for the thrift store. Then I folded and put away our new outfits. Jasper had fashioned a chest of drawers and a standing wardrobe for me a few weeks ago. He knew I didn't like to let clothes get wrinkled.

With the new clothes put away I built a fire in the wood stove to warm up the room. It had been raining in town and I needed to dry my outfit.

I hung my dripping clothes near the hot stove and picked one of the books to start reading while I waited for Jasper to return.

The book wasn't nearly as interesting as I'd hoped it would be. I gave up after the second chapter and tossed the it aside.

I had nothing else to do so I checked on Jasper again. I was surprised to see that he was running in the dark. It seemed as though he was on his way back. I looked ahead and was completely amazed. He _was_ coming back! And when he got here he'd tell me he'd secured a contract with a skilled forger in Chicago. Our order was placed and we'd receive a large selection of very legal-looking documents in about a week.

I wanted to just kick myself. Why hadn't I watched how he'd managed it?

I paced around the room impatiently while I waited for him to return.

Another twenty minutes passed and I heard the sounds of his approach outside. As soon as the door opened I ran to him and leapt into his arms, ignoring the fact that he was soaking wet, and kissed him passionately.

"Thank you!" I exclaimed, releasing his mouth but squeezing him tighter. He was breathless now, though not from running. "I've been trying to do that for years! How did you manage it?"

I let go, dropping to the ground, but he kept his arms around my waist.

"I've found that some humans respond better to fear than to monetary gain." He grinned.

"You didn't!" I was shocked.

"Yes, I did, as a matter of fact. It seemed to make him very cooperative." His pleased expression faded slightly when he took in my expression. "Does that make you unhappy?"

I closed my eyes and shook my head, but not in denial. I was trying to fully grasp what he was telling me. It seemed his simple, understated talent was able to accomplish in one night what I couldn't in years of fruitless endeavor.

"Wow! No. I mean... it's just so hard to believe. Now I wish I'd paid better attention." I looked up at him. His smug smile had returned. "I'm very impressed, actually."

His smile broadened. "The contact is a judge in Chicago. He charges a heavy fee for his services, but his products are impeccable. No amount of scrutiny will be able to reveal them as forgeries."

I frowned, glancing into the future to see just how much a "heavy fee" really was.

"Five thousand dollars?" I gasped.

Jasper nodded, releasing his hold on me.

I paced the room, thinking. We didn't have nearly that much on hand. I'd only given Jasper five hundred. I didn't want to think about how much fear he'd fed to that human to get him to accept such a small percentage as a down payment. We had one week to turn about a thousand dollars into over four thousand.

It was possible to place some money on a sports event. I was pretty good at predicting the outcomes of those. But that would be sure to get us noticed. It would be hard to stay inconspicuous if I placed a large bet and won an outrageous amount of money here where people knew us. And it also wasn't a sure thing. Many small decisions made by the players and the coaches could affect the outcome.

The only sure thing available to us at this point was traditional gambling. But we couldn't do it here. Even the high betters in town weren't betting that high. And we needed to maintain our relative anonymity.

We'd have to find another way. Something with more of a guarantee than sports or racing, like traditional gambling. Somewhere far from where we lived. Somewhere we could win big, fast, and still melt into the crowd.

I stopped pacing and sat in my wooden chair – another gift from Jasper – closing my eyes and rubbing my temples in concentration. I sort of noticed Jasper coming to sit by me, but my mind was largely elsewhere. I wanted to be as sure as possible that we would be successful.

After a long moment I sighed and opened my eyes.

Jasper was watching me intently, his warm golden eyes patient but curious.

"We can do it, I think."

"You _think_?"

"It won't be easy. Well, the money part will be. But I'm afraid this is going to be a bit of a challenge."

"Do you mind filling me in?" His forehead wrinkled a little in frustration.

"How do you feel about going to Las Vegas?"

His frustration shifted to concern. "That's in the south, Alice."

"I know."

"And Nevada is fairly well known for being a sunny place."

"I know that, too."

"And – "

"I _know_ Jasper," I cut him off. "But it's the best I can come up with. We can stay inside during the day, arriving and leaving at night. If we play right, over the course of a couple days we can make all the money we need and leave practically unnoticed."

His eyes popped wide when he heard the word "days".

"I know." I sighed. "We should definitely hunt... a lot... before we go." Looking into his pained eyes I had to give him the option. "Or, if you prefer, you can stay here and I'll go alone. You don't have to do anything you don't want to."

His eyes narrowed and his jaw set. "Not a chance, Alice. When do we leave?"

"We need to hunt, and we need to pack," I mused. "So we won't be able to make it tonight."

"Let's go this weekend, then," Jasper said. "Humans are more likely to go to a casino on the weekend, I think. It will be more crowded, but it's easier to blend into a large crowd." His face was hard, determined. He was probably imagining the all-you-can-eat buffet of delicious blood swarming around him, brushing against him in the confined space. Just thinking about it made my throat ache, too.

I placed my hand on his cheek and leaned in to look him seriously in the eyes.

"You really don't have to come. This is going to be very hard."

"Do you want me to stay behind?"

"I don't want you to be in pain."

He shook his head. "I'm asking if you want to go alone, without me."

"No! Of course I want you to be with me. But I'm not going to let my selfishness hurt you."

"I'm coming," he said, with a note of finality.

"Jasper..."

He just gazed at me calmly. I saw that he was decided. No amount of cajoling on my part could change his mind.

"All right," I sighed.

* * *

><p><strong>End Note: Want to know how Jasper managed to commission the forger? I wrote an outtake for this chapter, a section from his point of view showing how it all happened. Check out chapter 1 of "Behind the Full Moon" to read all about it!<strong>


	28. Confession

**A/N: For those of you who wanted to read Jasper's POV of the previous chapter, check out "Behind the Full Moon". There will probably be more chapters from Jasper's POV in the future!**

**Also, I've submitted an entry for the Age of Jasper contest. Head on over there (author's name "Age of Jasper") and vote for your favorite!**

* * *

><p><strong>August 1919<strong>

Days came and went and I barely noticed. Sometimes I was coherent and could enjoy the books that Alaric brought to me. I'd already read through my own collection twice, so he'd started bringing me new titles to enjoy. I appreciated it.

Of course, sometimes I wasn't coherent at all. I would wake up in a straightjacket, or strapped naked to a table, or just lying in my bed and not know how I'd gotten there or how much time had passed.

They'd shaved my head again. I couldn't remember it happening. Sometimes I was sure Alaric must have used his special gift on me and erased my memory. Sections of time - sometimes weeks - were complete blanks. But he assured me that he never had and never would without my permission; it was just an effect of the shock treatments. He said I might regain some of those memories eventually. I didn't know if I really wanted to.

Today was my day to go outside. After a decent breakfast I was escorted with the rest of the patients in my hall to the lawn. It was a cloudy day, a little cool for August. I spent the morning hours sitting in a chair near the door watching the wind play in the leaves of the trees. I still wasn't allowed to return to my favorite rock. So I closed my eyes and imagined that I was there, all alone in the middle of the forest, far away from the dark cell, the horrible injections and the awful electrocutions.

When it was lunchtime I grudgingly trudged in to eat. I stabbed my meat and potatoes with my fork, forcing as much down as I could. I still didn't have much of an appetite. Actually I was becoming rather gaunt and unhealthy-looking. So I really tried to eat as much as possible, but only managed to swallow about half of my plateful before I couldn't force down any more.

We were let out again and I stood near the entrance to the asylum gazing at the heavy clouds rolling in. I wondered if a storm was coming. I tried to see if it would, but the premonition eluded me for some reason. I tried harder, but didn't see anything.

"Nice day." The familiar silky voice came from right behind me.

"Oh!" I whirled around in surprise. "You startled me!"

"I'm terribly sorry," he said, with a small smile. Then, in a whisper, "I thought you could sense when I was near."

"I was concentrating on something else."

"And what was that?"

"I was wondering if a storm was coming or if those were just rain clouds."

"It's a little early for hurricanes yet," he informed me.

"Oh," I shrugged. I wasn't really interested in talking about the weather. "I'm surprised to see you outside."

"Like I said, it's a nice day. Would you care to go for a walk?"

I grimaced. "I would, but I don't know if I have the energy."

"Take my arm. If you feel faint I can hold your weight."

I took his arm marveling at how hard it felt, like he was made out of marble. We started walking slowly toward the garden. It felt nice to be moving for a change.

"Am I still not allowed to go to my rock?" I checked.

"Yes," He said.

"I am?"

"No. I mean, 'yes, you're still not allowed.' The... creature... is still out there." I looked up into his face. His jaw had tightened, his eyes fierce.

Looking into his eyes I noticed something. They were bright red today. It was more noticeable, more shocking than the last time I'd seen them this way.

"Can I ask you something?" I whispered.

"Go ahead."

"Why is it that sometimes your eyes are black and other times they're red?" I asked in the same low whisper. I'd never ventured on this before, sensing that it was a sensitive subject for him.

I was right. He stiffened and looked away.

"You won't tell me?" I asked, a little hurt.

"I will. I should have told you a long time ago. It was selfish of me not to. It's because..." he trailed off, and then started over in a low voice. "Do you remember when I was telling you about the thirst my kind experiences?"

"Yes."

"When we feed our eyes become red with blood. As time passes after feeding they gradually darken to black. So when you see my eyes black, it means I am thirsty. You should be wary of me then. If you come too close to me too quickly... I may not have enough self-control to handle that. When my eyes are fully red, as they are now, it means I have recently fed. I'm not thirsty."

"Oh," I gasped. He'd told me of his feeding habits, that he only fed on the already deceased. But seeing his red eyes, knowing what that signified, I started to tremble.

"Shall I take you back?" he asked, a touch of sadness in his tone.

"I'm okay. I'll be okay," I assured him, trying hard not to imagine him feeding and not having much success.

"Do you know what the other one wants?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Not yet. He is surprisingly persistent. He must have something specific in mind. I'm afraid he wants a particular person here but hasn't had the opportunity to catch him...or her."

"Do you think he will?"

"That depends. If it is a staff member he's after, I think it's inevitable. Eventually they will be alone and he'll take his chance. If he's after a patient his task won't be so easy. The patients here are guarded when out of doors. And when they are within doors they are locked inside and behind barred windows. It's not easy to disguise a forced entry into this place."

"So it sounds more likely that he's after a patient."

"Maybe. But sometimes our kind has quirks. He could be after something entirely different, something I haven't thought of yet."

"Like what?"

Alaric contemplated that for a moment. "He may be a former patient, from before my time here, and wants to retrieve his records. He could be after a bauble or trinket we have confiscated. He may be related to a patient or staff member here and wants to keep an eye on them. Or he may simply be fascinated by me, because I live differently than most others do."

That was a little comforting, knowing that there were possible reasons the other one was out there besides a desire for blood.

The attendants called us in then and Alaric walked me back, leaving me at the door. The nurses eyed us, walking arm in arm, with surprised, disbelieving expressions.

We patients had our communal dinner, as we always did on lawn day, and were escorted back to our rooms.

Once I was back on my bed I picked up my book and began reading again while there was still daylight. I finished a few chapters and tucked the book back under my bed when the dim light started straining my eyes.

I lounged on my straw mattress, waiting for the tap at the door that always came at about this time.

While I waited I decided to check on the weather. Alaric wasn't here yet and I was still stubbornly curious if we would be getting a storm soon.

I concentrated, trying hard to see. It was taking longer than usual; I was having a hard time feeling the extra sense. I couldn't feel it at all, really. I grasped about in my mind, hardly knowing what I was doing. How could I look for something that wasn't physically there?

The tap at my door distracted me.

Oh, Alaric was here. Of course, that must be why I couldn't see. I should have known.

"Come in." I said, in a very quiet voice. It was a little experiment I was doing. Every day I spoke a little quieter when I let him in. I wanted to see just how good his hearing really was.

The lock clicked and the door opened. Alaric entered silently and sat at the foot of my bed. I couldn't be sure in the very dim light, but it looked like he was amused by something.

"Are you smiling?" I asked.

"You amuse me," he answered. "Are you going to whisper next time?"

"I was thinking about it."

"What is the purpose? Are you trying to determine my hearing sensitivity?"

"Actually, yes."

"You're too curious for your own good." His tone was still playful, but had a dark edge to it. "Would you like to just find out now?"

"How?"

"If you like, I may stand out in the hallway while you whisper a message to me."

I deliberated for a moment. "Okay. But I can't just say 'come in' because you could pretend to hear that."

"Say whatever you like. Or ask a question, as quietly as you are able."

I was suddenly excited for the experiment. "Okay. Get out, I want to try it."

He chuckled once, then rose and walked out of the room. The door closed.

I thought for something really good to say. Something he wouldn't be able to anticipate.

I faced away from the door and barely breathed the words; so quiet that even I couldn't hear them.

"Alaric, I'm curious. I want to know... have you ever changed someone? Have you created another vampire before? Tell me, please."

I turned back to the door and watched it open again. He walked to the bed and knelt down very close to me. I could just make out his features. He looked very solemn.

"Yes," he answered. "Just once, and quite by accident."

"Really? You could hear me?" And then the weight of what he'd just told me crashed down. "And you changed someone into a vampire?" As weak as I was, the words came out surprisingly loud.

"Shhh! Alice!" he hissed.

"Sorry," I breathed. "You did? How? When? Who? It's not... him is it?" My eyes flickered to the wall, toward the lawn.

"No, it's not him. It was a while... Nearly three hundred years ago."

My eyes were wide. I realized that to him three hundred years might not seem like so long ago.

"During that time period the Volturi were still struggling to make good on their promise, that the humans would one day not believe in our existence and thus allow us to walk freely among them. It was a hard time for me. There were not many wars going on and it was difficult to acquire the blood I needed. I tried to feed as little as possible, hoping to avoid taking a life, but it was inevitable.

"I was living in a sewer in London with a few others. Like I said, it was a hard time. They would go out every night to make their kills. This night I could not wait any longer. I had abstained from blood for over two months. I was weak and nearly mad with thirst. I still hoped that I could find someone... perhaps someone had recently died of illness in town.

"I crawled out to the street before the others. Once I was free of the sewer I caught the scent of a large hoard of humans waiting for us." He saw my curiosity and explained. "In those days humans believed in our kind and some even attempted to hunt us. It's not as easily done as they thought, though. The mob was armed with pitchforks and torches. The moment they saw me emerge they charged.

"I called down to the others, letting them know what was going on. I wanted to run. I should have run. But the scent of so many humans was too strong of a draw. I was too thirsty. I turned and attacked the first human I could reach, drinking him in as quickly as I could. But the others weren't far behind.

"When they attacked me I fought back, instinctively. I killed a couple of them and ran off…" He paused and it seemed like he was editing his story a little.

"Later, when my thirst was more manageable, I realized what I had done. I had bitten that first man. But I hadn't finished him. So unless the humans had killed him he would shortly become one of our kind. I believe he did manage to survive somehow."

There was a long silence as I pictured what he'd told me.

"Did you ever meet him after that?"

"No. Honestly I'm a bit frightened to."

"Why?"

"Because that night... it's as if I murdered him, maybe worse than if I had. I stole his life. I feel terribly guilty about that."

"Did you forgive the one that changed you?"

I thought he smiled a little. "Yes, after a time."

"Well, then maybe this one would forgive you."

"Maybe," he agreed.

"Alaric... how many vampires are there?"

"I don't know for certain. But there aren't nearly as many of us as there are you. Perhaps a hundred thousand to one." He shrugged.

We were quiet, and then I heard him stand.

"I'll be back tomorrow night. Have you finished your book?"

"Not yet. I should by tomorrow, though.

"Then I'll bring you a new one. Goodnight, Alice."

"Goodnight. Thank you."

The door closed and I thought over what I'd learned. Alaric had changed someone into a vampire. I wondered if that vampire was still around today. Did he know that the one who changed him was so sorry for what he had done? Or what a good heart he had? Probably not, since they'd never met.

I began to grow drowsy and tried idly to check the weather again. But, like before, I couldn't feel my extra sense. It was unnerving. I must have been still recovering from having Alaric around.

I rolled to my side and curled up to sleep. Just before I dozed off a slightly alarming thought entered my head.

What if I couldn't feel my extra sense because it was gone? What if I'd lost my talent?

The frightening thought lasted for an instant. Then I drifted to sleep.


	29. Proposal

**February 1949**

"There's still room in the luggage," Jasper complained. "How do humans manage to fill these things?"

He'd put several changes of clothes in his suitcase along with three pairs of shoes and two books but still had plenty of space.

"Here, let me help." I was toting armloads of shopping bags from today's trip to the department store. "Humans need more than clothes, you know."

I began packing stuff into our luggage while Jasper watched me dubiously. It was a small chance, but still a chance, that someone might rifle through our things. At the very least the housekeeping staff would need to see that we had all the usual stuff scattered through our hotel room. Jasper's suitcase received a shaving kit, shoeshine kit, comb, toothbrush, toothpaste, pajamas and robe. That about filled it up.

I packed similar items in my luggage: cosmetics, nightgowns, bathroom supplies. Mostly things I would never use. Of course my luggage was already mostly full. I couldn't wait to wear some of the more glamorous things I'd purchased recently. We would only be in Las Vegas for three days at most, but if I changed my outfit once or twice a day I might be able to wear them all. In the small towns near our cabin there was never a good excuse to wear _really_ nice clothes. I was also eager to see Jasper in the good suits and tuxedo I'd gotten for him.

"Do we have _any_ money leftover?" Jasper griped while I forced the lid closed on my suitcase. "I should have come with you."

"It was just a quick shopping trip, that's all. We need to have everything they would expect to see. And, yes, we do still have enough money." I rolled my eyes.

"The room isn't cheap. I hope you took that into account."

The anticipation of our ordeal was making Jasper irritable. He was almost never short with me.

"I know, thirty five dollars per night." I smiled warmly at him. "Thank you for booking a suite by the way."

He shot me a half-smile in return. "You're welcome. I thought you might like to stay somewhere more luxurious for a while."

"You're right. I'm actually looking forward to the trip now. I can't wait to see the room in person." The clasps clicked closed on my suitcase; we were set to go. "We should leave immediately. If we run straight there it will take about twelve hours. But I think we might want to take the opportunity to hunt on the way." I couldn't help grimacing at the idea. I felt a wave of disgust from Jasper as well.

"Do you think it could really help?" he asked.

We'd spent the past several days gorging ourselves on animals, more than we ever had before. I was starting to question whether or not it was possible to force any more blood down my throat.

"I don't know," I answered. "But it couldn't hurt."

It was still daylight when we left the cabin, running swiftly, each toting a suitcase and wearing travel clothes. I'd memorized the landmarks and towns we should pass on the way and made sure we steered clear of inhabited areas, veering slightly north or south when necessary. Even though we were running as fast as we reasonably could, even though we were changing time zones thus gaining several hours of darkness, we were still cutting it close trying to make it in one night.

We couldn't really run all-out. We had to be careful to make sure our outfits were in pristine condition when we arrived at the hotel. We couldn't look like we'd just run over a thousand miles. Also, to avoid civilization we couldn't make a straight shot for Vegas. Our path was serpentine, veering one way and another to stay in the most deserted areas.

We paused for a quick hunt in the strip of forest running through Arizona. Neither of us really wanted to. The scent of the antelope I nabbed was enough to turn my stomach, but I forced the blood down anyway. Jasper drained his elk without complaint.

We followed the forest northwest until it dwindled and we were running through desert. We veered left, keeping in the lowlands, running across miles of sand and over giant beds of crystallized salt.

Then I came to a bit of a dilemma. We slowed as I thought about it, and then as we came near the Colorado River I stopped.

"What's the matter?" Jasper asked.

"I'm trying to figure out how we're going to cross the river." I smiled, sheepishly. "The narrowest point is about five hundred feet across. I know _I_ can't jump that far."

"Nor can I. But what about the dam?"

"Even at this time of night there are cars crossing it. We would cause some suspicion looking like this." I lifted my briefcase and fingered my coat, illustrating my point.

Jasper thought for a moment. "I have an idea... What do you think?" He quickly explained his plan.

"I like it." I grinned.

"Will it work? It's a bit risky."

I examined the future carefully, making sure there was very little risk involved. I knew that if Jasper thought something was dangerous, even a little bit, he would never go through with it. If it were just himself he'd have no problem. But he had this thing about putting _me_ in danger.

"It will work," I assured him. "We have to hurry though, before the sky starts to lighten."

We rushed north to Boulder Dam – Hoover Dam as it was now called – and leaped across the road between cars. We climbed down to the upstream face of the dam, below the view of the passing motorists and out of sight of the workers. To humans we were invisible under the convex curve of the huge cement wall.

It was a little tricky. We clutched the cement surface, gripping with our toes and fingertips, and slowly crawled across the face of the dam. We were about fifteen feet above the water, each carrying luggage in one arm and climbing with the other. It was especially difficult because we couldn't leave any noticeable traces of our passing, and there weren't many easy holds to grab onto, and we each had only three limbs to use. But after a few minutes we made it to the other side.

"That was a great idea," I complimented Jasper, rewarding him with a quick kiss.

"Glad to be of service." He grinned.

We continued northwest. A mere fifteen minutes later we were in the outskirts of Las Vegas.

"Do you know where the hotel is?" Jasper asked.

"It's near the train station."

He looked around at all the people walking about on the sidewalks. "There are a lot of humans about. If we're going to get close without being seen it's going to take awhile."

I closed my eyes and looked ahead, concentrating hard. But our future was a bit too vague and shadowy at the moment. I knew I could get to the hotel in a matter of minutes if I was alone. But my future was tied to Jasper's now, and his unmade decisions confused our future paths. If Jasper could trust me - really trust me - we could be at the hotel very quickly.

I opened my eyes to see him watching me curiously. "Jasper, remember when I challenged you a few weeks after we met? How I showed you what my gift can do?"

"Of course."

"I want to show you something else I can do, but I need you to trust me."

"I trust you, Alice. What are you talking about?"

"We can get to the casino before sunrise, but you have to be right behind me, following my lead. You have to do what I do without hesitation and follow my instructions immediately if need be. I need you to decide that; to commit to it."

He nodded. "Okay."

I closed my eyes again, shifting my attention to my extra sense. I concentrated on a window of time from about a half second to ten minutes in the future. I was looking for a likely route, timing the opportunities to cross streets, seeing where we could scale buildings unnoticed, looking for paths of darkness where we could run and remain unseen.

"Stay as close behind me as you can," I said, not opening my eyes, and started ghosting forward.

I ducked into an alley, scaled a wall, and hopped to the roof of a building. Jasper was right on my heels. We ran over the rooftop, jumped to the ground, flew across a street, and darted around an empty corner just before a car turned onto it. We were really moving now, skimming down a momentarily empty street, back into an alley, into the empty back lot of a store, over a fence. We came to an abrupt stop at the corner of a building.

One, two, three, four, five, GO!

We rushed around the corner, flew through a crowd of people-none of them looking our direction-darted across the street, scaled up a wall, jumped to another rooftop, down to the ground again, rushed through another alley, across a street, and down the crowded road just in time to dart around a corner before being seen.

I opened my eyes. Jasper was watching me intently with a slightly awed expression.

"I think we can walk from here," I told him.

He smiled and took my hand. "Have I told you lately that you are one terrifying little creature?"

I beamed up at him. "No, but I know it anyway."

We slipped on our shoes, which had remained packed for our journey to prevent wear. A few seconds passed and our window arrived. We walked out of the dark corner casually, hand in hand, and joined the crowd of humans completely unnoticed.

One block ahead I saw a large building with a huge neon sign that said "Flamingo" in giant pink cursive letters.

Now that I wasn't concentrating so hard on something else, I noticed the human scent more potently. It wasn't very bad; I was definitely not thirsty. But I wondered if it would be hard on Jasper, especially once we got inside. When the sun rose we would be quite literally trapped in the building, unable to escape the scent.

"How are you holding up?" I asked him.

"I'm doing fine right now. You?"

"Nothing I can't handle."

A warm cloud of tobacco smoke and human scent bombarded us in a concentrated wave when we entered the hotel. Jasper kept a neutral expression and went straight to the counter, weaving through the slot machines and past the blackjack tables without a second glance.

"Welcome to The Fabulous Flamingo, how can we help you?" The man at the counter greeted us.

"Mr. and Mrs. Whitlock. We have a reservation," Jasper announced. I felt a little tremor of happiness at the "Mr. and Mrs." I wasn't sure if it came from me or from Jasper.

The man checked his books. "Yes sir. You're in room twenty two; just down the hall." He snapped his fingers and the bellboy approached. The boy retrieved our room key then he took our luggage. I gave Jasper a meaningful look as if to say, "See? Isn't it a good thing they're not practically empty?" He didn't betray any emotion on his features, but I could tell he wanted to roll his eyes.

The boy carried our luggage into our room and asked us if there was anything we needed. He seemed a little uncomfortable to be alone with us, so I smiled, thanked him and passed him a five-dollar tip. His eyes popped wide when he saw it. He stammered a "thank you", assured us that if there was anything we needed we could contact the concierge with the telephone in the room, then stumbled out the door.

"Wow, look at this place. It's even better seeing it in person!" I sang, taking in our surroundings.

We had a deep porcelain bathtub, a shower, a fireplace, carpeted floors, chairs, electric lamps, and huge windows that looked out into the city. There were large vases with bunches of bird-of-paradise flowers. There were assorted potted plants scattered throughout the room. There were framed paintings hanging from the walls. We had an enormous canopy bed with a thick down comforter and half a dozen decorative pillows...

"What would you like to do now?" Jasper asked.

I swallowed and pushed aside the first thing that came to mind. He wouldn't agree to it. I wondered if he'd sensed my momentary shift in mood.

"Hmm… I think I'll take a hot bubble bath. I've always sort of wanted to try one."

"Go right ahead. I'll open the windows and see if I can chase away some of the scent. Would you like me to start a fire?" He knew I loved to sit and watch a fire burning.

"Sounds perfect."

He lifted my hand to kiss it, smiled warmly, and then went to the windows to open them.

The bubble bath felt amazing. I sat in the tub for a long time letting my body warm up to the temperature of the water. It was nice to scrub down in clean soapy water, too. I was sick of rinsing off in rivers whenever I got dirty. After a while I submerged myself under the bubbles, letting my face, neck, and scalp soak in the warmth for a while.

My body was steaming with heat when I stepped out of the tub. I sighed in satisfaction; it was nice to really be clean.

I rubbed a towel through my short-cropped hair, pulled on my robe, and went to join Jasper in the main room. I was surprised at how cold the air felt to my heated skin when I exited the bathroom. It wasn't unpleasant at all just different, interesting.

Jasper was sitting on the ground next to the windows reading a book. He looked up and his eyes popped wide for an instant when he saw me. Then he composed himself and smiled. "Did you enjoy your bath?"

"Very much. You should take advantage while we're here. It's much more pleasant than scrubbing off in a river."

I went to him and sat on the floor at his side.

"Why aren't you sitting in the bed?" I asked.

"It smells very strongly of human." He grimaced. "It's probably the worst place to be in this room."

"Hmm, that's too bad." I frowned.

Jasper lifted his book to continue reading and I kept silent for him, leaning against the wall and watching the fire. For some reason it was taking him a lot longer than usual to turn the pages.

The fire was crackling in the hearth, glowing orange-red. Behind the closed curtains the windows were open. A gentle breeze rustled the fabric, letting in small shafts of the morning sun. Jasper's neck and arm glimmered when the light touched his skin.

"How do you like your book?" I asked, noticing the title. "I thought you would be interested in the new takes on Civil War history."

"It is interesting. But I'm afraid I'm a bit too distracted at the moment to make much progress," he admitted. His eyes flickered down then quickly back to his page.

"Is the scent getting to you?" I asked, and then looked down to see what had caught his eye.

The front of my robe was slightly open, exposing my inner thigh. Was _that_ what was distracting him?

"It's not too bad," he answered my spoken question. "I still feel rather bloated from our last hunt."

I decided not to make things easier for him this time. Let him be distracted tonight. It might even be good for him to be focused on something other than the smorgasbord of humans surrounding us.

I shifted closer, snuggling in against his side. The motion exposed more of my thigh.

He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me tight, kissing my hair. "You're very warm," he murmured. "And you smell amazing."

"Thanks. They have very good soap here. I like the lavender."

"It's not that. You just have a very pleasant scent on your own. It's stronger now, somehow. Maybe from the warmth." He kissed my hair again, inhaling deeply. "I like it."

I turned my face upward to meet his lips with mine. He was certainly willing to oblige, leaning down to close the distance.

The kiss started out softly, sweetly. But after a few seconds it started to grow. It built up into something more. Without turning his head he tossed his book aside and brought his hand up to my cheek, kissing me slowly, deeply. It was a very intense, serious kind of kiss.

There was no way I could possibly hide my desire, growing in force every second. With his extra sense he had to feel it, but still he continued to kiss me. His cool fingers combed through my damp hair. My tongue grazed along his lips, taking in his delicious scent and flavor. He sighed and shifted, wrapping his arm around my waist, pulling me closer still.

With my senses heightened I could see the immediate future shifting around, flashes of possibilities that hadn't been made reality yet. This time I pushed them back. I wanted to enjoy this in the present. If his will was crumbling, if he was changing his mind, I didn't care to see it. Let whatever would happen just..._happen._

He could feel how eager I was to continue, to progress. And I could feel his desire flowing as if it was radiating from him as heat.

Suddenly, in a movement so fast I almost missed it, he pulled me onto him so I was straddling his lap. His arms wrapped around my waist, hugging me into his chest. I didn't hesitate to return the embrace, pulling his face to me in a kiss I hoped conveyed every ounce of passion I felt.

He groaned, moving his lips down to the side of my neck.

I glided my hands down to his chest, not bothering to undo his buttons but opting instead to rip his shirt open. I slid my fingers down the skin of his abdomen and he shuddered at my touch. I leaned in, gliding my hands around to his back, lightly tracing the scars there.

He raised his hands to my cheeks, trapping my face between them. His lips found mine again, even more urgently than before. Then his hands slowly traced down the skin of my throat, down to my collarbones. He gently pushed the front of my robe open and let his hands glide down further, slowly, tenderly tracing all the way to my ribs. The sensation of his willing touch on my bare skin was amazing, electric, as if a live current was flowing from his fingertips. My eyes rolled back and I moaned softy at the sheer pleasure of it. My head lolled and he kissed down my jaw to my throat. His hands slid around my hips, tracing up my spine.

Then he hesitated.

"Alice..." he whispered roughly. His breath tickled against my skin.

"Don't stop," I begged.

He groaned again. "I'm not strong enough to resist you much longer."

"Then don't." I slid my hands back up his chest, wrapping them around his neck, and kissed him passionately, hoping I could drown his resistance.

He kissed me back eagerly. It seemed he was going to give in. Then he gently pushed my face away. His eyes burned into mine like golden flames.

"Alice, I want you," he gasped, breathing heavily. "You know how much I want you. But what I want more is for you to be happy."

"I am!"

"But there is something that would make you _more_ happy," he insisted before I could attack him again. "I know you well enough to know that."

"I'm happier now... or ten seconds ago rather... than I've ever been before in my life!"

"Marry me, Alice." His eyes burned with staggering intensity.

I gasped, staring at him open-mouthed.

"Be my wife and I will be your husband. You can have a wedding ceremony, whenever and wherever you want. Make it as big and grand as you like. Hire a designer in Paris to make your dress. Invite hundreds of friends and perfect strangers to attend. Afterwards, we'll go anywhere you want to for our honeymoon. And then, on our wedding night..." he trailed off, stroking my still-frozen face with his fingertips. His voice was softer when he continued. "This will make you happy now. But don't try to pretend that wouldn't make you happier later. A hundred years from now... a_ thousand_ years from now, you will be glad we did it that way. And we only have this one chance to get it right."

"You just asked me to marry you," I whispered.

"You practically coerced me into it." He smiled wryly, gesturing to me and trying to keep his eyes from wandering away from my face.

I glanced down. I was still straddling him. The robe was wide open completely exposing my naked body. But I was too stunned to move yet.

My mind worked its way around this new information in slow motion. To have a wedding, a _real_ wedding that meant something more than just a show for the humans; and then a honeymoon, not just a vacation with a lot of sex, but a real honeymoon, a launching point to our eternal commitment of unity...

I had no human memories, but if I was human I was sure this would be something I would look forward to. And the memories generated by our wedding and by our honeymoon would be treasured for my entire mortal life. And the significance of chastity, though lost on many humans, was suddenly clear to me. I could see it even without my gift. To waste our first physical union in a hotel in Las Vegas in a moment of passion would cheapen it. He was right. It would make me blissfully happy right now. And I didn't think I would ever truly regret it. But to save it, to cherish it, to place in it the value it deserved, and then on one special day, after proclaiming our love and commitment to the world... That would be...

Jasper was still waiting for me to respond. He took in a ragged breath, leaned forward to kiss my unmoving lips, and then whispered in my ear.

"Will you marry me, Alice?" His lips tickled my skin and his breath sent a shiver down my spine.

I snapped out of it.

"Yes, yes, YES! A million times, yes!" I flung my arms around him, squealing in delight, hugging him tightly, and kissing him all over his face while he laughed.

"I'm _so_ happy! You can't possibly… Well yes you can, actually… I knew you would… I mean I was pretty sure… but I didn't know when… and now..? but how did you…? I didn't _see!_ Why didn't I see?"

He continued laughing at my rambling exclamation of joy and surprise.

"Snap decision," he answered, confidently. "I knew that was the only way I could surprise you. I wanted to ask you eventually, but I couldn't decide to without you seeing it. So I didn't. Not until a moment before the words escaped my lips."

"How clever. I guess that would work," I mused, leaning back.

Jasper cleared his throat. "Um, Alice, if you don't mind... This really is very distracting and my willpower is weakening by the second," he hinted.

"Oh." That's right, I was still – for all intents and purposes – naked and straddling him. I crawled off of his lap and wrapped the robe back around myself properly, frowning in disappointment. "Maybe I can pull the wedding together quickly."

"That sounds good to me," Jasper agreed. "But I thought you would want to invite the Cullens?"

"Right. Darn it. I guess that means I've got over a year to plan. Hmm…" My mood improved as I considered the possibilities. Forget about hiring a designer, I would design my own wedding dress and the clothes for the rest of the wedding party, as well. Emmett, Carlisle and Edward could be groomsmen. Esme and Rosalie could be my bride's maids. Or was it "bride's matrons" since they were both already married? That would be an uneven grouping. Maybe Edward would find a mate between now and then? That didn't look likely. But I hadn't seen Rosalie or Emmett until shortly before Carlisle changed them…

Never mind. Who could we invite to the wedding? I would love for it to be a big affair, with grand decorations and gifts and hundreds of guests. But, somehow, that would seem too artificial. Part of me wanted the whole world to celebrate with us, but part of me wanted everything to be intimate and sincere, too. I struggled trying to reconcile the two desires, but couldn't. It was a dilemma.

I felt Jasper's fingers stroking my cheek.

"What are you thinking about? You're conflicted over something."

I smiled and leaned my face into his palm. "It's okay, I have a long time to consider it. I was wondering if I would rather have it just be our family, or if I really wanted to invite the whole city."

"Whatever you decide will be fine with me. Whatever makes you happy."

As I looked into his eyes, glowing with love and sincerity, my decision was made for me. I could never invite a crowd of random humans to our wedding. I couldn't because it would cause Jasper pain. We would be standing at the altar, saying our vows to cherish one another forever, and he would be fighting the urge to massacre our guests. I couldn't do that to him.

"Maybe Peter and Charlotte?" I suggested.

"That's a good idea. I'm sure they would be glad to meet you. But if you invite them I would suggest not including any humans on your guest list. Unless" – he chuckled darkly – "you intend for them to be the _hors d'œuvre._"

I snatched a pillow from a nearby chair and whacked him with it. Feathers exploded into the air. "You know I wouldn't do that!"

He laughed and I laughed with him. Then he sighed, closed his eyes, and pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. "Please don't take this the wrong way, Alice, but I really think you ought to put on something else."

"Okay," I sighed, rolling my eyes. I could feel lingering flickers of passion flying between us and part of me was still not convinced that we were making the right decision. But I dutifully went to the bathroom and pulled my new silk chemise out of my luggage. I loved the feel of silk against my skin. This nightgown was baby pink, cut to accentuate my figure, shimmered when I moved, and came halfway down my thighs.

I re-entered the main room and Jasper half-groaned half-sighed when he saw me.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"I'm sorry. It's not your fault. It's just..." he trailed off, his eyes running up and down my figure.

"What's wrong?"

"That nightgown may be worse than the robe," he confessed, smiling sheepishly.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: Yay! They're engaged! :) How does everyone like Jasper's proposal? Would you like to read it from his point of view? Jasper's mind is a little bit more...er "male" shall we say? So his POV might push the envelope for what's acceptable under a T rating. ;) <strong>If you want to read it, let me know in your review and I'll write it out for Behind the Full Moon!<strong>**


	30. Loss

**October 1919**

I'd thought that things couldn't possibly get worse. I'd thought that everything had already been taken from me: my family, my possessions, my freedom, my hair. I'd thought that the only direction things could go from now on was up.

I'd been wrong.

Every day that I was coherent I tried to use my gift. I tried to check on my family. I tried to see what would happen to me. I tried to see the weather. I tried to see if Mr. Matranga would return. I tried to see anything. I couldn't.

It was too much for me. It was one big step much too far. I fell into a deep depression. I could barely remember back to the time when I'd almost wished this would happen. It seemed like an eternity ago. Now that it was a reality it seemed like I was trapped in a whole new cage, one much smaller than the cell-like room in which I was confined. Without my gift the walls around me truly did define my world. I was unquestionably a prisoner. I'd never felt so helpless before.

I lay in my bed trying, in vain, to see my sister, my mother, my father. I didn't pay attention to the breakfast tray when it was delivered. I didn't even bother to turn my head when an attendant came to take it away.

By dinnertime I was thirsty enough to get up and drink my glass of water. I forced myself to eat something, but I didn't notice what it was. I was still trying, trying, trying… in vain.

I lay back down as the light of the day started to dim. Tears oozed from the corners of my eyes, trickling back to my ears, dampening my pillow.

I can't see. I can't see anything. It's gone. And I still can't go home. I've lost everything.

Tap, tap, tap.

"Come in," I breathed.

He entered. I struggled to sit up and wiped my tears away.

"You still can't use your visions?"

My throat tightened at his words, so I just shook my head.

Alaric let out a heavy sigh. "I think it's the shock treatments," he told me. "They've been running electricity through your brain. For some patients it actually helps, but it causes damage, too. I don't think they fully realize how much damage."

I turned away from him, fighting sobs.

"I'm sorry. I won't speak of it any more unless you want me to."

I didn't answer him. I was concentrating on breathing evenly.

"I have something that may cheer you." He told me.

I sniffed and looked up, expecting him to offer me a new book.

"Shall I fetch it?" he asked, a smile in his voice. "I've been working on it for a while."

"Okay." My voice was hoarse, but my curiosity was piqued. Alaric was going to give me a present? Already I was a little bit cheered.

He disappeared, literally. One moment he was in front of me, and the next moment he was gone. I felt a gust of wind and saw that the door was open, slowly swinging shut. Then another gust of wind blew over me. I blinked and saw that the door was closed again. Alaric was seated in front of me as if he'd never moved.

"Here." He handed me a plate. In the dim light all I could see was that there was a lump of something on it. It was sort of rectangular in shape.

"Smell it," he encouraged.

I leaned in and inhaled. With the scent came a flood of memories; my mother's kitchen in Mississippi with sunlight streaming in through the windows; dancing and laughing with Dee; Father coming home from work, calling us his "angels"; Mother smiling at us while she lifted a pan from the oven with potholders, then pouring a glaze over a fresh, hot cake.

"It's rum cake!" I exclaimed.

"Yes. I hope I got it right. Will you eat it?"

"It smells perfect." I inhaled again and suddenly felt ravenous. "I would like to try."

He pressed a fork into my palm. I took a bite of the cake and moaned. It was still hot; so sweet and moist. The rum added just the right edge, a slight burning in my nose, warmth radiating from my chest.

"Is something wrong?"

"No. It's amazing." I took another bite. "Maybe it's just because I'm so hungry, or because I haven't had it in so long, but I think this is the best rum cake I've ever tasted."

"Good. You haven't been eating enough lately."

"I know." I took another bite and moaned again. "This is delicious, though. Thank you."

"You're quite welcome."

When I was finished with the slice of cake he took the plate from me.

"Take care of yourself, Alice," he said, almost reproachfully. "I've come to truly enjoy your company. I would hate to lose it because you starved yourself."

"I'll try." I mumbled, feeling a little ashamed and a little doubtful at the same time.

"Good. Now I need to go. I'll be back tomorrow."

"You're leaving already?"

"Yes. I must... There's something I need to take care of tonight."

I eyed him, confused. What would he possibly have left to hide from me? Then I thought of something I might not want him to tell me about. Something I already knew anyway.

"Oh, okay. I'll see you tomorrow, then."

He glided from the room and I shuddered. I'd remembered the one thing he probably wouldn't say outright, the one thing about him that still disturbed me. He needed to feed. I wondered if I'd ever met the patient that must have recently passed. And, before I could stop myself, I wondered what would happen if I died here. Would Alaric feed on my blood?

I shuddered again. But I guessed I wouldn't hold it against him if he would. It's not like I would be using the blood anymore. It would be going to a good cause.

Before drifting off to sleep I tried once more to check on my family. But I might as well have been trying to stare through the stone walls of my room. I couldn't see a single thing. Tears, once more, began oozing from my eyes. I sobbed quietly and rolled over. After a while, sleep overtook me.

~)(~

The next morning when my breakfast tray arrived I made an effort to eat more than usual. I tried to pay attention to what I was swallowing. Sweet rice pudding with raisins and cinnamon, orange juice, chunks of fresh cantaloupe and strawberries. Normally I would really enjoy a breakfast like this. But it had been a long time since I had any desire to eat my meals.

A couple of hours after breakfast there was a knock at my door. It opened before I could answer and one of the nurses entered. I was surprised to see that it wasn't the usual large, domineering Miss Margaret. This nurse was younger, smaller, probably someone new.

"Miss Brandon, you have a visitor," she said. "Come with me, please."

I got up and followed her. For a moment I was intrigued with the idea that maybe Miss Margaret had been Alaric's meal last night. With her large size she probably had a lot of blood in her body. I found myself almost enjoying the idea, and then quickly reproached myself for it. Of course he wouldn't feed on her. He only fed on the already dead. She was probably just busy with something else right now.

I didn't have to wonder who my visitor was. There was only one person who knew I was here and would want to visit me. It seemed that Mr. Matranga had come back for more. I wondered if he would believe me when I told him I couldn't see my visions anymore. Would he try to kill my family? Would he kill me? Maybe he would try torturing me first? That wouldn't be too much of a change from my normal daily routine. I tried to think of what I should do. What would be my best chance of saving the people I loved and also surviving myself?

The nurse opened the door to the tiny conference room and I walked in with my eyes downcast. I flinched when the door clicked behind me.

I slowly raised my eyes… and practically collapsed. There, standing before me like some miracle, stood my sister. Her eyes were wide, horrified; her mouth hanging open. Tears were beginning to stream down her cheeks.

"Dee!" I gasped.

"Alice!" She threw her arms around me, embracing me tightly. I could feel how much softer she was than me. I'd gotten quite bony during my stay here.

"Alice! You look like hell!" she exclaimed, letting me go.

"I know!" I sobbed, wiping away tears. "I know, but it's so good to see you! How did you get here?"

"It wasn't easy," she answered. Then she eyed me curiously, concentrating. Her eyes widened in fresh horror. She was using her gift to see my past, learning what my time at the asylum had been like.

"Oh my God, Alice! How could they? I can't believe it. Actually, I can. But for someone to do this to you!" She gritted her teeth, balling her fists in fury.

I collapsed in the chair.

"What do you see, Dee? I don't even remember most of it."

She placed her arm over me. Sometimes physical touch helped her see things clearer. She closed her eyes and concentrated.

"At first they left you alone in your room most of the time. Matranga came and visited you in this room… twice. The second time he threatened to kill all of us if you didn't see the future for him. You told him to resign; he didn't like it. After that things changed. The doctor, with Matranga, has been giving you drugs: injections in your thigh and sometimes in your veins. They've been strapping you to a table, with wires and connections, making you convulse. And..." She gasped and shuddered.

"What is it, Dee?"

She didn't answer right away. "Matranga... They've been asking you to see the future for them. But you never do." She shuddered again. "You've been out into the park area behind the building, going there regularly. You used to go to the woods out there, but not anymore. Lately you stay near the door. You read books in your room, hiding them under your mattress. Only… I can't see where you got the books from. Lately you've been asleep or unconscious half the time. And you're always sick, or weak, and don't move much anymore."

"You're getting better," I complemented, looking up at her.

"I've been using it a lot lately," she told me with a hard expression, but fresh tears in her eyes. Dee had really changed since the last time I saw her. She was more grown now, more mature, and not as much the gentle, innocent soul I remembered. "Alice, I'm not here to visit. I'm here to break you out of this place. We don't have much time. We've got to go now. The nurse didn't lock the door and she's not watching. We can go out the front. I have clothes for you and a car."

I was shaking my head.

"That sounds wonderful, Dee." My voice cracked. "But I can't."

"Why the hell not?" she demanded.

"There's someone… bad… out there. If I leave he may kill me. If you're with me, he may kill you, too."

"Is it one of Matranga's men?"

"No, it's someone much more dangerous."

"So look ahead for us. We'll plan to go straight down the road and hide the car in the bushes. We'll go on foot for a few miles until we get to the city. From there we can catch a taxicab. If that won't work we'll think of something else."

I couldn't tell what my expression was. But Dee watched me with expectant eyes that suddenly grew wider. Her mouth opened in fresh horror, then her face scrunched like she was going to start bawling.

"Alice, no!" She squeezed me around my neck, sobbing into my ear. "It can't be true. Say it's not true!"

"I can't, Dee!" I cried. "I don't know when it happened. But it's gone now. It's just gone!"

"No!" she sobbed.

"I can't go with you, Dee. It's too dangerous. Go back to Mother and Father. If the one out there ever leaves I'll escape, I promise. Then I'll wait for you in Biloxi, okay?"

"I came all this way for you, Alice. I can't just leave you here."

"You have to, Dee. It's the only way either of us can get out safely. Trust me. The walls of this place aren't keeping me in anymore. It's just too dangerous for me to leave yet. It's only a matter of time until I can."

She looked at me like she was considering the possibility I might be crazy. Dee had never looked at me like that before.

"I'm serious, Dee. Listen, do you remember the man who came to our house to escort me here?"

She nodded. "Mr. Dwight. He came and spoke to me privately once. He's the one who told me you were still alive." She had a strange expression when she said this.

"Mr. Dwight is a friend. He works here and – "

"Were you ever able to see his future?" she interrupted. "Because I can't read him at all."

"No. Never. He's sort of funny that way." I shrugged, hoping to blow it off. "But listen. He has resources to break me out of here. He wanted to help me run away that first day, before I even got here, but I wouldn't – "

"Why not?"

"I was hoping that I could still go home." I sighed. "That was before I knew Mr. Matranga was involved. Now I know there's no chance of that. And Mr. Dwight has promised that as soon as it's safe he'll help me break out. So you don't need to break me out yourself. Just wait for me or for Mr. Dwight to contact you once I'm free."

"But, Alice, if you can't see then how will you know when it's safe?"

"Mr. Dwight will know."

Her forehead furrowed. "How will Mr. Dwight know?"

"He's been watching the dangerous one outside. He'll know when he leaves."

"And you trust him? He does work here, Alice. I can't see him; you can't see him. He seems well-intentioned, but how do we know he's really a friend?"

"Dee, I know. You can't see what he's done for me or you would understand. He's probably saved my life numerous times since I've arrived. He's a good person. Last night he even made a rum cake for me to cheer me up."

She eyed me suspiciously. "He is very handsome," she noted.

My eyes narrowed.

"And he seems to be very interested in you. Alice, are you..."

"No, I'm not."

"Are you sure? I would hardly blame you. I mean... wow." She raised her eyebrows appreciatively.

"It can't be that way." I told her, firmly.

"Why? Is he married?"

"No, but there are a lot of differences between us. Things that probably couldn't be reconciled."

She shrugged and I got the feeling she didn't buy it.

"You'd better get home soon," I said, though I didn't really want her to leave. I was worried that the longer she stayed the more danger she was putting herself in. What if the doctor came and caught her here with me?

She frowned. "I really miss you, Alice."

"I miss you too, Dee." I hugged her tightly. "I miss you so much it hurts."

"Maybe I can come back and visit again."

I shook my head. "It's really too dangerous for you to come alone. You have to trust me on this one, okay?"

"Who is it out there? Who's keeping you locked in this place?"

"I can't say. But believe me when I tell you he's more dangerous than anyone you've ever heard of. I mean that, Dee. I'm not exaggerating."

She thought about that for a minute, trying to grasp what I was trying to convey. Then she nodded.

"Okay, I'll trust you. But when you get out you'd better contact me."

"I will. I promise."

She hugged me again, kissing my short hair.

"I can't believe they shaved your head," she grumbled.

"I know," I growled. Then I sighed. "Thanks for coming for me, Dee. I know it must have been a lot of trouble for you, and it means a lot to me."

She smiled darkly. "It was a lot of trouble. But it was worth it. I love you, Alice. You're my sister. No matter what happens to us, we're family. I know you would do the same for me."

"In a heartbeat," I assured her.

She went to the door and opened it. It was unlocked, just as she'd said it would be. There was no guard.

We walked through the empty corridor together, into the cavernous entryway.

"Are you going to just go back to your room now?" she asked. She was watching my weak, shuffling movements with concern. Had I really deteriorated so much?

"I don't have any other choice."

"I guess not. Do you need me to help you get there?" She grabbed my arm as I slumped forward, holding me up. Yes, she was very concerned.

"It's quite all right, Miss Cynthia. I will escort your sister back to her room." The warm silky voice came from right behind us. Dee jerked her head around, surprised. Neither of us had heard Alaric approach.

He wrapped my arm around his waist and his arm around my shoulders, carrying most of my weight.

"Thank you, Alaric," I panted. I didn't want Dee to see how horrible my "room" was.

She raised her eyebrows when I called him by his first name, eyeing his arm around me speculatively.

"It was very kind of you to come for a visit, Miss Cynthia. But, as I'm sure your sister informed you, it is not yet the proper time for her to be discharged." His voice was intense and serious.

Dee took an involuntary step away from him and nodded.

"Goodbye, Alice," she whispered, moisture building up in her eyes.

"Goodbye, Dee," I whispered back.

Then she turned and walked away.


	31. Vegas

**February 1949**

I tugged on a simple pink cotton dress, setting aside my black satin gown for later. It wasn't really necessary, but I thought it would be fun to attend a show or sit in on one of the fancy dinners. In the other room Jasper was shrugging into his suit coat.

We'd decided it was a good idea to get out of the room for a while. Even though it was daytime and the sun was shining down on the desert with fierce intensity we would be safe in this building. The gaming hall had no windows, not a bit of daylight peeped in. That was one of the reasons we chose the Flamingo.

I skipped out of the bathroom and gazed appreciatively at Jasper in his new charcoal suit.

"I ought to dress you up more often." I grinned.

"Somehow I feel that's an inescapable eventuality," he chuckled. Then his expression shifted to slightly embarrassed. "I'm not sure if you wanted to try, um... salvaging my other shirt. Or if – "

"Just toss it," I giggled. When I'd torn the shirt from his chest nearly all the buttons had popped off and some of the seams ripped open. I was completely unrepentant about that.

Jasper knew I was kind of quirky about clothes. He couldn't yet distinguish when I would get particularly attached to an article or when one was disposable, but he already knew to treat delicate lace as though it were a live grenade. He was a fast learner.

I skipped over to him and took his arm.

"You look exceedingly handsome in that suit."

"And you are heartbreakingly lovely in that dress," he countered.

I stretched to my tiptoes to give him a kiss. He returned it but I could sense his hesitancy. He became too still, stressed with worry, and broke the kiss off quickly.

I scowled at him. "Jasper..."

"I don't know if – "

"Listen. I'm going along with the whole wedding night idea. I admit, that's going to be totally amazing and I'll appreciate it forever. But that doesn't mean I'm going to give up kissing you in the mean time. So you'd better just get used to it!"

He sighed then smirked, shaking his head. He knew it was useless to argue when I was so set on something.

I reached up to wind my arms around his neck and his lips met mine with willing intensity. After a long passionate moment he released me, lowering my feet to the floor. We were both breathing faster than usual.

He smiled and touched his forehead to mine. "If torturing me like this for the next year and a half will make you happy..."

"Torture?" I raised an eyebrow.

"It is a very nice torture," he admitted. "And you're very good at it."

He spoke the words seriously, but I could feel his amusement under the surface.

"Yes, as a matter of fact it will make me very happy. So kiss me again, you fool."

"Yes, ma'am."

He bent down and pressed his lips to mine. This kiss was softer, but still simmered with all the pent up passion of our near-tryst.

When our lips parted I sighed and opened my eyes. His face was mere inches from mine, his eyes burning with hunger. Not hunger for blood, but a hunger that made me feel like my insides were doing somersaults.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"Anytime. Shall we go fleece the casino now?" he grinned wickedly.

"Let's!"

He opened the door for me and we walked out, making our way into the hazy gaming room.

First we strolled around casually, as though not sure where to begin. But every once in a while I would approach a slot machine, feed it a few coins, and pull the lever. Jasper followed behind with a bucket to catch our winnings.

The slot machines were easy, but the highest winning was only two hundred dollars, and I couldn't make them pay up, I could only catch them at the right time.

Pretty soon a few of the other guests were starting to eye us with suspicion and it was time to change tactics.

"Do you know how to play Blackjack?" I asked Jasper.

"Not really." He shrugged.

"I'll explain it."

I explained the rules to him while we took our bucket to the cashier and converted our coins to cash. On our way to the Blackjack table I told him how I wanted him to play, the same way in every instance without changing his mind so that I could see clearly what would happen.

We sat at the table and bought our chips. The dealer made an effort to maintain the stoic disinterest his position called for. But he must have been at least a little attracted to me, because Jasper slowly started radiating hostility as the cards were dealt. Jasper's animosity spiked whenever the dealer looked at me. After a few hands the dealer had sweat beading on his forehead and his hands trembled slightly as he dealt our cards.

"Take it easy!" I hissed, too low to be overheard by human ears. "We can't win if you give him a heart attack!"

He let up slightly, but the damage was done. A few more hands and I couldn't allow us to torment the poor man any longer. We left the table.

"How much have we made?" Jasper asked.

"Eight hundred twenty two dollars and fifty three cents."

"We're off to a good start then."

"Yeah, but Jazz you can't go around terrifying every creature with a Y-chromosome that sees me."

He scowled. "I can't entirely help it." His voice dipped lower. "I am restraining myself quite a bit. If I had my way I would have ripped the throat out of fifteen – " His eyes darted to the right and narrowed. " – sixteen men so far."

Even though he was completely and deadly serious I had to giggle.

"Don't worry, love. No man has ever touched me. I'm perfectly capable of scaring them off on my own if I want to."

His anger melted at the endearment and his eyes, now warm, returned to my face.

"Why don't you play poker by yourself for awhile? That will keep me out of range of lascivious stares. I'm sure, with your particular talent, you'd do fairly well at the game."

"I thought you were worried about the hypothetical starving children of my opponents?"

"Pretty much everyone here is going to lose all their money in the next couple of days anyway." I shrugged. "I'll sit in the back corner of the bar and watch. If you need help, just let me know and I'll tell you what to do."

"Okay, I'll give it a shot. It would be nice to play a game and actually have a chance at winning." He winked at me.

I grinned. "Just wait until you meet Emmett. He's probably the most competitive person in existence!"

He chuckled and escorted me to the bar. I found an out-of-the-way spot that would offer a view of the distant poker tables and sat, shifting my chair so I could see properly.

Jasper kissed my hand and made his way to the other side of the building. I could still see and hear him perfectly, of course. But no human would suspect that we were communicating at all.

Jasper reached his table and sat, talking with the other men and forcing smiles at their coarse jokes. He was trying to fit in.

Then one of the men complimented him on the "nice piece of work" he'd seen him with earlier and asked if she happened to be available for a monetary fee. I saw Jasper's fist clench and his jaw tighten; his eyes flashed hard as flint. Every man at the table instinctively leaned away.

Jasper successfully communicated that all comments about that particular lady must be spoken in a tone of worshipful reverence. It was a struggle for him to do so without terrifying the men into incontinence.

A few minutes later their game was finally underway, if not in the same carefree atmosphere in which it had begun.

I passed the time idly scanning through the futures of the humans surrounding me. Humans were sometimes interesting. Their futures were never quite as set as vampire futures. Such inconstant creatures, changing their minds for any little reason. Even the tiniest, inconsequential thing could change the future path of a human. Like the ripples after a pebble is dropped into a pond.

I kept tabs on Jasper, too, of course. I was certain he would do well at his game. That was no problem. I was a little concerned about how well he could handle being surrounded by all these humans with no escape. But he seemed to be safe for now.

If things went as I saw them we would have about fifteen hundred dollars by the end of the day. Once the sun went down we could go out and multiply that at some of the other establishments. It would be less suspicious for us to spread out our winnings. Even though we were in a large crowded casino it would still be prudent to be cautious and not attract attention.

So maybe when Jazz had won enough hands we could do something else until after sunset? I flipped ahead in the day's schedule and saw that there would be a party in the ballroom later. It was a dinner event, with a big band and dancing. I grinned. That meant I would have an excuse to wear my new evening dress. And I was pretty sure I could convince Jazz to dance with me!

As I was thinking about these things I noticed something else. A man who had sat at the bar a couple minutes after Jasper left me was watching me and deciding whether or not to come strike up a conversation. He finished his shot of whiskey and his decision firmed. He was coming over.

Oh, great. Jasper wasn't going to like this.

I took a deep breath through my nose and winced a little.

"Thirsty?"

I let my breath out and turned to address the man who had dared to approach me. The fact that he followed through with his decision meant that he was brave, stupid or intoxicated, maybe a combination of the three.

"No, thank you," I answered.

Jasper's eyes flashed to my face when he heard my voice from the other side of the building. I shook my head slightly, telling him to keep playing. I could handle this.

He wasn't happy about it, that was easy to see, but he complied.

"Let me at least get you a drink before you completely reject me," the man pled.

I sighed and looked up at him. He was a slightly older man, in his late forties or early fifties. He looked and sounded Jewish: black hair, an olive skin tone, and a slightly large nose. My mouth watered when I saw the blood pulsing just beneath the surface of his skin at his throat and heard the heavy thud thud of his heart. He really didn't want to offer me something to drink.

"I'm not thirsty, honestly," I told him.

"You've never tried one of Benny's famous Bloody Mary's then!" He called back to the bar, ordering my drink before I could realistically stop him.

I sighed. Maybe I wasn't being convincing enough.

"My name's Moe," he offered, sitting in the chair opposite me.

"Alice," I told him. Then added in a whisper Moe couldn't hear, "Stay there, Jazz. I've got this. He may be annoying but he's no threat."

"So, beautiful, what's your story?" Moe asked.

"You probably don't want to know," I told him, smiling slightly.

"Why's that? A beautiful doll like you in a place like this must lead an exciting life."

"Oh, I do. But it would probably give you nightmares." I smiled widely, baring my teeth at him. Let him sense the danger a little.

He laughed out loud, exuberantly. He thought I was joking.

My drink arrived and he pushed the glass to me. It was a reddish concoction with a stalk of celery for garnish. It smelled like rotten vegetables.

"I'm trying to cut back," I told him, pushing the drink away.

He shrugged. "Suit yourself, doll. So why would your story be so terrifying it would give a grown man nightmares, huh? You aren't an axe murderer are you?"

I smiled demurely. "No, I've never used an axe before."

He laughed again.

Jasper glanced up at me, his expression was dark but he was resigned to letting me deal with my own problems until I asked for his help. I did a quick check of his game and signaled for him to take a card. He'd have a flush.

"Is that why you're here all alone, then? You've killed all of your past lovers and sit here looking for a new one?" As he spoke he raised his hand and traced his finger around the seam at my shoulder in a very suggestive way. "I don't mind being your next victim."

I was focused on Jasper's game so didn't react as quickly as I might have otherwise. The instant his touch intruded on my consciousness I was fighting to repress a snarl of outrage.

Fury simmering just beneath the surface, I spoke as calmly as I could.

"It might be best for you to leave now. My husband is on his way and I guarantee you will have nightmares if you meet him."

That was enough for Jasper. He excused himself from his table for a moment and wove through the crowd as quickly as he could to reach me.

What I wasn't prepared for was the cascade of events that I would set in motion by inviting Jasper to intervene. He was enraged, figuratively charging like a bull. If he made a scene...

Damn it!

This "Moe" was more powerful than I'd known. He must have friends in high places, or be in a high place himself. If Jazz proceeded in some of the ways he intended to we might very well be kicked out of the hotel... in broad daylight. They couldn't physically force us to go outside, of course. But how could we really resist while still pretending to be human?

With the future shifting, flashing, and wavering it looked like right now we had about a seventy percent chance of getting evicted. I had to do something.

All this passed through my mind while Moe was absorbing the new information I'd offered him. Jasper was only ten feet behind him now. I hurried to diffuse the situation.

"You'll get us kicked out, Jazz. Calm down!" I whispered the words urgently, plaintively, through unmoving lips. Begging him with my eyes to see reason. Yes, smashing this slime ball's body against the bar might feel satisfying. Right now I would love to do it myself. But now was not the time to lose control.

Moe was ready to respond to my threat of a dangerous lover. He smirked, confident. Yes, he must be a powerful person to be that sure of himself.

"So now it's your husband who will give me nightmares, huh beautiful? He must be a very powerful and dangerous man." He raised his eyebrows patronizingly while still ogling my figure.

"I can be when it suits her needs," Jasper answered him from behind, his southern accent soft and deadly. His voice sent shivers down my spine. I could scarcely imagine the havoc it wreaked in Moe.

He turned and saw Jasper, his eyes widening.

Jasper placed a hand on his shoulder, as if trying to reason with him. "I believe the lady does not wish to be disturbed," he said. I felt a slight wave of terror course through the air and I knew it would be much more powerful for Moe, being in physical contact with the source. His face paled until it was almost as white as the marble-like hand gripping him.

"There's no need to take up any more of her time, is there?" Jasper purred. He released the terrified human and grinned, baring his glistening venom-coated teeth. Moe scrambled to his feet and made a hasty retreat. The terror in the air instantly vanished.

I sighed and stood, taking Jasper's arm.

"My hero." I smiled, ruefully.

"What was that you were saying about being able to handle things yourself?"

"Well, I could have. But this guy was seriously delusional and wouldn't take a hint. I sort of overreacted when he made that pass at me." I shuddered delicately.

"Why don't you join me at the poker table? I'm sure the men there are too terrified to even look at you." He grinned triumphantly. "Especially now that they saw me send Moe Dalitz running off with his tail between his legs."

"Who was he?"

"It seems he's a very powerful and dangerous man." Jasper winked at me. "In any case, I think I preferred it before, when you were being lusted after right next to me rather than being forced to resist advances at a distance."

"That suits me just fine," I told him, squeezing his arm and letting him lead me back to his poker table. As we walked I sensed lingering frustration seething in him.

"What's wrong?" I asked under my breath.

He sighed. "I would have really enjoyed tossing that... man... into the bar," he growled.

I giggled. "If you really want to destroy something you should at least wait until sunset so we can get booted out properly."

He half-smiled. "You're right, of course."

We were approaching the table. When the men there saw us every one of them stood, the way good gentlemen are supposed to when a lady approaches.

"Gentlemen," Jasper addressed them. The word sounded sort of sarcastic. "This is my Alice."

I liked the way he said 'my Alice'. My smile was radiant.

The other men at the table barely dared to lift their eyes as each acknowledged me with a mumbled "ma'am" in turn.

I didn't join the game, instead I just sat and watched. Jasper seemed to be enjoying himself. We used to play strategy games together – cards, chess, backgammon – but it didn't take long for him to realize he could never actually beat me. Now the only game we played was a slightly varied version of sparring, and neither of us was really trying to win during those matches. It was just me teasing him, dancing inches from his body but always out of reach, until I finally let him catch me. Once I'd fulfilled the promise that I would show him just how easily I could catch him. I smiled at the memory.

~)(~

We were in a moonlit meadow blanketed by snow. He thought he was prepared, certain he could evade me for at least a few seconds.

I crouched, grinning in anticipation.

"Are you ready?" I asked, my voice playful.

His eyes narrowed, but he grinned in response. "Do your worst."

I streaked toward him. He tried to dodge my advance, his movement graceful and efficient, but I saw it coming. I caught him around the wrist, my inertia swinging us both around like pendulums. I was smaller, lighter and whipped around his body.

He twisted, ducking to avoid what he expected my next move to be. He'd been wrong.

I'd tucked my ankle under his arm, and before he could make sense of what I was doing I had both legs wrapped around his chest. We'd tumbled to the ground in a flurry of powdered ice. I pressed my lips to his throat.

"Gotcha!" I grinned triumphantly.

The entire thing had lasted less than a second.

~)(~

Sitting next to me at the poker table, Jasper felt my mood shift and eyed me curiously, struggling to keep his poker face. He could probably guess what I was thinking about.

"Sorry," I lied.

His lips twitched. I knew he wanted to laugh at me.

Then I remembered something.

"Jasper, will you take me to the party this evening?" I asked.

"What party?"

"There's some sort of dinner party going on in the ball room tonight. There will be music... and dancing."

Understanding lit up his eyes.

"It's the Valentine's Day Ball," one of the other men offered. "It begins at four. Ten dollars a plate to attend." He shook his head as if to say, 'Only a fool would pay that much for a meal.'

Jasper smiled at me. "Of course. That sounds like a wonderful idea."

I beamed at him and kissed his cheek. For the next couple of hours I pretended to watch the game, while in actuality I was enjoying visions of us waltzing around a glossy wooden dance floor. Jasper would look dashing in his tuxedo, I was glad I had packed it.

We left the poker table after a few hours and cashed out our chips. Jasper bought our tickets to the party and we returned to our room to get ready.

While Jasper was showering I changed into my dress and tried to decide what to do with my hair. Not for the first time, I wondered why in the world my hair was so short. There were so many things I would love to do with it, but because of its length my options were annoyingly limited.

The water turned off and I heard Jasper step out of the shower. I decided to go in to use the bathroom mirror. I tapped on the door, announcing myself, and entered.

He was wearing a towel around his midsection and drying his hair with another. When I saw him I froze. I'd been expecting to see him without a shirt on, sort of looking forward to it actually. After all, he'd seen me naked; it was only fair. But when I entered the bathroom and saw his bare skin I froze… in anguish.

The scars, so many of them that I hadn't seen before, shocked me. He turned, wondering why I was suddenly so alarmed. When he saw I was staring at his ravaged body he didn't say anything. He just acknowledged me with a look of sad understanding.

I stepped toward him and traced a raised white line that wound completely around his right shoulder.

"Is this what I think it is?" I whispered.

He nodded and I swallowed hard. The scar, circumventing his shoulder joint, was from when his arm had been completely ripped from his body.

"Alice..." He placed his hand on my cheek. "It's okay. I'm fine now."

I just shook my head. I was horrified that anything like this had had been done to him, no matter how long ago it had happened.

He wrapped his arms around me, sending a wave of tranquility through my body.

"Don't concern yourself. It was a long time ago. That life is over, and I couldn't be more happy now."

I allowed myself to be soothed, feeling the warmth from his body after the hot shower, breathing in his intoxicating scent, and relaxing in his calming embrace.

"There, now," he said, feeling me calm down. He kissed my hair and held me for a few seconds longer.

"I'd better go get into that tuxedo."

I let him go and tried to concentrate on my hair. I finally just settled with parting it at the side and slicking it down. It looked okay. I'd have to figure out better ways to do it later.

When I got back to Jasper he was struggling to figure out his bow tie.

"Here," I smiled, tying it for him. He paid careful attention so he'd know how to do it himself in the future.

When I was done he put his fingers under my chin, lifting my face. He gazed into my eyes for a moment, 'tasting' my mood to make sure I wasn't still upset, then smiled.

"May I escort you to the ball?" he asked, holding his arm out for me.

I took it, grinning. "You may."

He walked me down the hall to the ballroom. We waited in line to be admitted, and then we found our table.

The ballroom was decorated all in silver and red: red roses and ribbons; silver hearts and ornaments; most of the women were wearing red dresses. My black strapless number stood out in the crowd.

The music hadn't started yet so we spent some time chatting with our neighbors. Or, rather, I spent some time chatting. Jasper just sat next to me feeling uncomfortable and trying not to show it.

Then the band started playing. My emotions soared in anticipation and Jasper took that was his cue.

He stood and turned to me with a knowing smile. "Would you care to dance, my dear?"

"I would be delighted."

He took my hand and formally escorted me to the dance floor. Then wrapped his arm around my waist and we began twirling to the music.

I laughed.

"What's so funny?" He asked, unable to keep from smiling at my mood.

"I'm just glad you know how to dance. I can't imagine where you might have learned, though."

"Probably the same way you learned. I knew how to dance before I was... drafted."

"Oh!" Of course! This was one of those things that I somehow remembered from my human life. Only I couldn't remember how I'd learned.

Jasper chuckled. "You don't suppose they will play a Quadrille, do you?"

"I don't think so," I laughed.

We twirled gracefully and effortlessly around the glossy wooden floor, Jasper's arm snugly around my waist. My hand rested on his shoulder, right over the spot where his ghastly scar was hidden. I couldn't help feel a twinge of sadness as I thought about it.

He noticed, of course. He lifted me up to his level for an instant to kiss my cheek and murmur in my ear.

"You are not allowed to feel sad this evening, Alice. Not if I can help it; and I can."

I felt peace and happiness flowing from him slowly, just enough to erase all sorrow over my battered soldier.

"Cheater," I accused.

He winked.

The other dancers were giving us a wide berth and we had a large empty portion of the floor all to ourselves. I assumed it was because they felt intimidated by us. That was a reasonable reaction to have when two dangerous vampires with iffy self-control join a human party.

After about a half hour of effortless waltzing the music stopped and we were obliged to return to our table for the meal. I felt a slight bit of uneasiness at this. I didn't know if Jasper had ever tried eating human food before. I should have warned him.

For a brief instant I had a strange, compelling sense of déjà vu. The party; my black dress; the music; the dancing; even Jasper watching the food arrive as though someone was trying to poison him; it all seemed strangely familiar.

I shook it off. Where had that come from?

Our salad was served and Jasper eyed me curiously. I nodded slightly. "Just follow my lead," I whispered.

He watched as I pushed the greens around my plate with my salad fork and he did likewise. After a few minutes our neighbors started looking at us furtively, as if wondering why we weren't eating. It seemed we couldn't get away with faking it tonight.

I skewered some of the roughage and took a small bite. I chewed up the chunky plant material, washing plenty of venom over it, and swallowed.

Next to me Jasper's eyes widened a little.

I smiled apologetically and nodded for him to follow my example.

We sat at the table, trying to make small talk with our neighbors, and swallowing bits of human food for the next hour. After the salad came the main dish: prime rib, herbed potatoes, and asparagus. After that came the raspberry torte and coffee. The humans all complimented the meal excessively, so it must have been delicious to them. We couldn't get away with any expression that betrayed how it actually tasted to us.

When the meal was over the music started again and Jasper took me back out to the dance floor. It was darker now; the lights in the room had dimmed. The music was slower, more romantic.

"I've never done that before," Jasper told me, referring to our meal.

"I'm sorry. I should have let you know what to expect."

"No, it was... interesting."

I laughed softly and rested my head on his chest. He was trying so hard just to make me happy. The whole marriage thing... I was sure that was mostly, if not entirely, for my sake. He probably wouldn't care if we never had any sort of ceremony. And he didn't care about dancing or parties either. He was here with me because it's what I wanted. This whole visit to Vegas, finding a forger to make legal documents, mingling with humans at all, none of it was his preference. He would be just as happy leaving the human world entirely, if that were possible. He was doing it all for me.

"Jasper?" I looked up into his face. He seemed happy and content at the moment.

"Yes?"

"I want you to decide where we go for our honeymoon."

"You do?"

"Yes. We'll go wherever you want to go."

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather...?"

"I'm sure. All that matters to me is that we're together. It's something I'm sure you would like to do. And I think it would be more meaningful if you decided."

He smiled at me and I was sure I'd made the right choice.

"The sun is down now. Do you want to get out of here and hit the other casinos?" I asked.

"Not just now," he said, pulling me back into his chest. "I haven't finished dancing with you yet."


	32. The Hunter

**July 1920**

Nothing had really changed. Days came and went and I hardly noticed. My friend, Alaric, came nearly every evening still to talk with me. Sometimes I was awake and cogent, sometimes not. He tried to get me to eat as much as possible, but it was difficult. Eventually I lost all desire for food; not because of depression, but because I was constantly nauseated and weak. Still, I tried to eat for his sake. And he tried tempting me with anything he thought might appeal to my appetite. But, after a few more months, not even his amazing rum cake smelled appetizing anymore.

One evening when he came, tapping at my door as usual, he handed me something that brought the first spark of life to my existence in a long time. It was a folded piece of paper; a letter from my sister. I'd read it eagerly; shedding tears of joy just to have some news from home.

I kept the letter hidden under my pillow. It was the only thing I ever read anymore. On days that I felt I had the energy I would pull her letter out, reading it over and over.

It was an unusually cloudy day today. Nobody had come in the morning to take me outside; I figured they must be worried about possible rain. Breakfast and lunch had already come and gone. I was starting to feel a little more energy after eating, so I slid my arm under my pillow and retrieved the much-abused piece of paper into the light to read it once more.

~)(~

Dearest Alice,

Spring has come to the big city, for which I am exceedingly grateful. You wouldn't believe how cold it gets here in New York during the winter, snow and rain and ice everywhere.

Father has done quite well, though not as well as he would have liked, I think. He owns a small restaurant in Manhattan now. He no longer cooks, but he still enjoys his work.

He and Mother both miss you very much. But they don't talk about you often. I think it's not because they want to forget about you, but it hurts them too much to remember. I see sometimes that Mother cries at night, and Father, too, when he thinks no one will notice.

I wish I could tell them that you are alive, especially seeing that they both blame themselves, in part, for your supposed death. But your Mr. Dwight explained to me the reasons it must be kept a secret for now. We can't have them coming to look for you under such dangerous circumstances.

Mother was in a certain condition again a while back. We were going to have a little brother. But about a month ago the baby came too soon and didn't survive. His name was Harry. I think we would have enjoyed having a little brother, even though he would have been so much younger than we are. I catch myself wondering sometimes what his 'gift' might have been.

I do have some good news to share as well. I've met a certain gentleman. His name is Walter Clarke, and he's studying to be a lawyer here in the city. Don't let that fool you, though, Alice. He is a good man. I know this to be true in my own special way. He's never once lied to me about anything as far as I can tell. He works hard, he's very intelligent, and he loves me unconditionally.

He's agreed that when he's finished with school he'll join a firm in Biloxi so we can wait for you there. Yes, you understand that correctly. I've told him that you are alive and that you plan to escape. In fact, I've told him almost everything. I haven't told him about your gift. He knows you're special, but I decided the specifics were yours to tell. I have told him my secret, though, and he still loves me in spite of it. He's a trustworthy man, Alice. When you meet us in Biloxi I hope you love him almost as much as I do. I'm sure by that time he will be your brother, so you won't have any choice but to love him.

Mr. Dwight has graciously offered to courier this letter to you. I must say that he is a very considerate man. Even though I can't 'see' him, I can see why you admire him so much. He obviously cares very deeply for you, so I'm sorry for my previous doubts regarding his character. I only hope, once you are free, that he is able to find work nearby. It would be hard for me if you always lived so far away. But, be that as it may, I now have no objections to your Mr. Dwight as a future brother. There, you are now free to think of him however you like.

Eternally your devoted sister,

Cynthia Desiree

P.S. I simply must tell you this. Walter adores my freckles!

~)(~

I smiled a little at the end. It seemed like such a very long time ago when I used to tease my sister about staying in the sun too long. I tried figuring out how long ago that was.

It was hard to focus on anything. My mind didn't work as well as it used to, but I concentrated. When was it now? What year? What month? I tried hard to remember. All I could come up with was that I was pretty sure it was nineteen twenty now. So did that mean I'd been here two years? That seemed about right. But then I remembered that, depending on what time of year it was when I left home; I could still have been here less than two years. I couldn't remember when I left. I thought it was winter, or maybe spring. And I knew it was warm outside now, so did that mean it was summer? Could it be a warm spring or fall day?

I lost focus then. The problem was too complicated and all the information slipped out of my grasp.

I read the letter again. There was more information in it than I could hold in my head at one time. This time I picked up on her parting paragraph.

I wasn't sure if I should be amused, worried, or angry at what my sister assumed my relationship with Alaric to be. I couldn't really be angry with her. She was usually a very perceptive person; this was an unusual lapse for her. So I decided that I would settle on being worried. I hoped she wouldn't be too disappointed when nothing came of our relationship. And I did hope that, when I escaped, Alaric would stay in my life somehow. I would miss him if I never saw him again.

I sat up and tried to force more food into my stomach. I made it a goal every day to eat at least half of the food offered to me. I hoped I was gaining a little bit of weight back.

A knock at my door announced that someone was here to take me somewhere. If they were coming for my food tray, they never knocked. And Alaric only tapped, so it couldn't be him.

The door opened and Miss Margaret was there. Was it time for me to be shaved again? My hair was a full three inches long at least, so maybe.

I struggled to my feet and followed her as quickly as I could down the hall. When we got to the entryway I saw that I wasn't the only patient out. There were about six others congregated there, most of them in straightjackets.

"Here she is," Miss Margaret announced.

A man in a nice suit turned and looked at me with a pleased smile.

"Thank you, Miss Margaret," he said in a smooth, pleasant voice.

I studied him, curiously. Why did he seem so... familiar? I was pretty sure I'd never seen his face before. He was of average height, with short brown hair. His skin was very pale, paler than mine. It looked almost unhealthy, ghostly pale like Alaric's skin. His eyes were dark, too, with purple bruise-like circles underneath. Just like Alaric when he was thirsty.

I stood there, trying to put the pieces together, struggling. I knew it had to be so simple, it was an obvious thing but my mind wouldn't cooperate. Something was going on, here, but what? I had a feeling that I was in mortal danger. But I knew that there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn't run; I could scarcely walk. And I couldn't even figure out what I would be running from, or why.

"I believe this is everyone on the list," the stranger said. "This should be enough to free up some rooms for you. Our facility has ample capacity for more. Should you ever run out of space for your patients, don't hesitate to have your administrator call me at this number." He handed Miss Margaret a card.

"Now," he addressed us patients. "If you will all kindly follow me to the truck we will be on our way."

A few nurses helped herd us towards the front doors. Then I heard a strange sound echo down the hall from my left. It sounded almost like a wild snarl.

We all looked up and saw Alaric coming towards us, walking quickly down the hall, his face livid.

"I believe a mistake has been made," he said when he reached us.

"Sir," The stranger answered with a mocking smile. "I assure you there has been no mistake."

"Allow me to peruse your patient docket."

The stranger handed him a clipboard with an official-looking document. Alaric glanced at it and handed it back.

"Just as I thought," he said. "This girl isn't on your list." He put his hand on my shoulder, drawing me closer to his side.

"Of course she is." The stranger smiled pleasantly. "Right here. 'Mary Brandon, room one nineteen.'"

"Mary Brandon died shortly after admittance. We have the documentation here to prove it. This girl's name is Alice. There must be some clerical error. She stays here."

The stranger's eyes shifted back and forth between Alaric and me.

"I see. Is she the only one not on the list?" he asked. His smile was changing; he almost looked excited.

Alaric's eyes narrowed. I felt his fist clench against my shoulder.

"It appears so," he answered.

"Very well, then." The stranger's smile broadened, as though he'd just been given a wonderful gift. He turned and continued escorting the rest of the patients out the door to his waiting truck.

We stood in the entryway, watching them leave. Miss Margaret looked like she wanted to demand an explanation from Alaric for his interference, but she was too intimidated. He was standing over me, watching the retreating stranger with stone-cold hatred in his eyes.

When they were gone, Alaric led me back down the long hallway to my room. On the way there something finally clicked in my mind.

"It was... him... wasn't it?" I asked.

He didn't answer right away. I heard a low growl rumbling in his chest.

Fear made my mind work faster. I put another piece of the puzzle together while Alaric set me down on my bed.

"So he does want the patients here. He's going to... those other people... I would have gone with him and -" I wasn't really crying yet, but I was starting to hyperventilate.

"Yes, Alice. But I think it may be worse than that." The growl was still rumbling in his chest while Alaric paced, very quickly, back and forth in my room. Watching him move so fast, so surreally graceful, I wondered how I'd ever believed he was human.

"Worse?"

"The way he was looking at you, especially when I was protecting you, suggests that he wants you specifically. Maybe he always has."

"Me?" I whispered. My sluggish mind finally dredged up another possibly relevant piece of information. "Because I smell so good?"

"That may be part of it. But I think it may be more complicated than that."

I frowned. I wasn't good with complicated things lately.

"I've met others like him in the past. They don't live for blood only, they want sport."

"I don't... I can't understand!" I grimaced, grabbing tight handfuls of my hair in frustration.

"It's okay, Alice. I will try to explain so you can understand."

I looked up at him, feeling my eyes water and my throat tighten.

"Humans sometimes enjoy hunting, think of fox hunts, or big game hunters in Africa. The challenge of tracking down an animal can be fun."

I nodded. I was following him so far.

"For some vampires," he murmured, "The challenge of tracking can also be enjoyable. They don't track animals, though, they prefer more challenging quarry. They'll hunt other vampires, for example. Or even humans, if they are well protected. Because you are so well protected, you are a challenge to him. That makes him want you more."

That was a lot of information. I struggled for a minute, but eventually it made some sense.

"He wants me... because you're protecting me?"

"That's right."

"And if you stop protecting me?"

"Then I think he'll take you anyway, because you smell so delicious."

I put my fists over my eyes and groaned. My head was starting to ache.

Alaric pressed his icy hand to my forehead. The cold felt good. He lightly touched the burn marks on my temples where the shocks had been administered.

"What are we going to do?" I moaned.

"I'm going to think about that," he answered in a low voice. He stayed with me, silently pressing his cold hard hand to my head, thinking. He didn't move at all. He was crouched next to me, so still he might have been a piece of furniture. After an immeasurably long time he finally looked up.

"Alice..." he began. His voice sounded pained.

"Hmm?"

"I know it's difficult for you to think right now. But I need to ask you a very serious question."

I frowned, then sighed and said, "Okay."

He waited. Silence filled the room for so long that I wondered if he changed his mind and wasn't going to ask me anything after all.

He took a deep, unsteady breath.

"Alice..."

"Yes?"

"Would you rather be... dead. Or be like me, a vampire?"

I couldn't think around the question. I couldn't make any connection between what he was asking and what had happened today. I didn't have it in me to wonder why he was asking the question at all. It was hard even to think about the significance of each choice he offered me. But I tried.

Death? Or life as a vampire?

"I think I would rather be like you than die."

"Tell me why."

I grimaced and he placed his other hand to my head. The cold helped.

"Because I don't want to die. And even though you might have done some bad things, you can still be a good person. So maybe I can live like that. Maybe I can be a vampire but not a bad one. And also, if I'm like you then we can be together… We can still be friends, I mean." I hoped what I said had made sense.

He looked into my eyes for a long time. His expression was unfathomable. Or maybe my brain was just so fried I couldn't read it.

He stood and paced the room again. He mumbled something that sounded like "...can't believe I'm even considering..."

I lay down on my bed. His back and forth movements were making me feel dizzy.

"It is of no consequence now," he finally said. "We're going to wait to see what this young one does next. In the meantime I'm going to make some preparations, just in case."

He may as well have been talking to himself. I didn't even try to follow his train of thought.

He looked at me, lounging listlessly on my bed. Then came and knelt next to me again.

"I should have ignored your request that first day, Alice."

"What do you mean?"

"I offered to help you escape before you even came to this horrible place. You didn't accept my offer. You claimed that you wanted to take the chance to be with your family again. And I was all too eager to give in to your silly delusion. I was selfish, Alice."

I just looked at him, confused. I understood what he was saying, but I couldn't imagine why he thought he'd been selfish. He seemed to understand what I was thinking.

"I was selfish because I wanted to keep my job here. I was comfortable with this life I created. It had taken a lot of work to achieve the level of ease and freedom I enjoy here. I didn't want to risk loosing it all to help a little girl, a stranger. Even though I couldn't bring myself to ignore the injustice entirely, I gave in far too easily to the first excuse you offered me. I told myself that I was bringing you here because it was what you chose. Even though that was partly true, I can't deny that I had an ulterior motive. If I had been concerned only for your well-being I would have ignored your request and hidden you away that very first moment."

He shook his head, distraught.

"Now look where it's brought you. This path that you couldn't see, because of me, has been nothing but torment and destruction for you. And now!" He growled. "Now you might have a sadistic hunter after you – also because of me; at least partly." He shook his head again. "No, entirely because of me. If I hadn't brought you here in the first place you would not have been in his path to begin with. And if this one is after you, Alice – you specifically – I don't know how I can really protect you for long. The only thing I can think of..." he trailed off, grimaced, and looked away.

I had paid as close attention as I could. I could tell that what he was saying was important. And I understood some of it. He felt guilty for bringing me here. He thought everything that had happened to me was his fault. He was worried about the dangerous one that had visited the asylum today. He thought he wouldn't be able to protect me.

I wanted to comfort him, but I wasn't sure how.

I reached out my hand and touched his shoulder. He slowly turned to look at me. I looked into his eyes, ringed with ruby but not as bright as I'd seen before.

"Don't worry, Alaric. Everything is going to be okay in the end. We knew when you brought me here that I might die anyway. That's the worst that can happen, right? It's not so bad. Everyone dies sometime."

I'd hoped that my little speech would be comforting. I'd wanted to let him know that I was okay with death and that I didn't blame him for any of this.

But when the words escaped my lips his face hardened. His jaw set and he looked abruptly fierce.

"What's the matter?" I asked, weakly.

"I need to go prepare. Remember to eat your food and drink your water, Alice. You need to be strong."

"Prepare for what?"

"I'm going to do everything I can to save you. I promise. Hopefully the other one won't return." He sounded doubtful. "But if he does, I won't let him touch you."

"But, Alaric, what preparations?"

"I'll explain when the time comes. It may be too much for you now. Just, please, eat your food and drink your water. Do that for me."

"I will."

"Good. Shall I bring a book for you later?"

"No, thank you. I can't read much anymore."

He sighed, closing his eyes. "I'm sorry; more sorry than you can possibly know." He went to the door. "Goodbye, Alice."

"Will I see you tomorrow?"

"I have much to do, but I'll try to be here."

"Goodbye, then, Alaric."

He left the room and I closed my eyes. I wanted to make sense of the day, but there was so much information I couldn't wrap my head around it all.

After a while I was sure of two things. First, the other vampire, the dangerous one, was probably hunting me. And second, Alaric seemed to have some plan in mind to protect me from him.

As I lay on my hard straw mattress beneath the itchy wool blankets; so skinny I was shivering despite the warm weather; having difficulty thinking in clear straight lines; unable to see my loved ones; feeling sick to my stomach like I did every hour of every day; I wondered if death might be a nice change after all. Would it hurt very much to be a vampire's victim? I hoped not.


	33. Cullens

**March 1949**

"It's tii…iime!" I sang, pirouetting into the living room. My voice echoed off the empty hardwood floors and stark bare walls.

"We're all finished in here," Jasper answered, looking around the impeccably cleaned rooms one last time. He followed me out to the driveway, locking the door to our rental home behind us and dropping the key through the mail slot for the owner. We'd only lived in that home for about a year, but we had never intended to stay for long anyway.

I'd made a killing in Vegas. Our first day there we'd made over a thousand dollars. That night I easily turned our one thousand into three playing at the craps table at The Pioneer Club. The following morning, in one easy move, I bet all three thousand straight up on number twenty-five at the roulette wheel. We won, of course, and just like that our three thousand dollars became over a hundred thousand and we were fabulously wealthy.

We were so wealthy in fact that, to my utter delight, Jasper purchased an extravagant engagement present for me, a Jaguar XK120 imported from Europe. It was the fastest car on the market anywhere, with speeds reaching up to one hundred and twenty miles per hour. And it was gorgeous, too; I loved it! I could hardly wait to get Rosalie to supercharge it for me.

We had no trouble acquiring our forged legal documents from the judge in Chicago. And with those documents in hand we decided to move to the west coast sooner rather than later. All the better to plan a wedding!

We rented a small house in Naselle Washington, just seventeen miles north of Astoria where the Cullens were planning to migrate next. Jasper insisted that we be very careful not to leave any trace of our presence where the Cullens would detect us. He couldn't help but notice that their family was five strong and there were only two of us. He was particularly concerned with Emmett and Edward. Since he looked at everything from a militaristic point of view he was naturally wary of the enormously strong vampire and his brother who could read minds and, thus, anticipate his opponent's attacks almost as well as I could. He insisted that we wait until those two were away on a hunting trip before we showed up at the house. I didn't bother arguing with him about it. I actually wanted it to be a surprise, and if Edward was there we'd never be able to get close without him noticing.

The Cullens had moved into their new house in Astoria last week. Since they were entering new territory Emmett was excited to challenge Edward to a race through the unfamiliar terrain. Yesterday they'd headed off into the wilderness to the east to hunt and would be returning home this afternoon. I was pretty sure Edward would win the race home.

Hitched to the back of my Jaguar was a small trailer full of a few of our belongings with which we didn't want to part: a sofa, the wardrobe and chest of drawers which Jasper had made for me, an ornate full-length mirror I'd found in an antique store and fallen in love with, a collection of Jasper's favorite books, and lots of clothes.

I couldn't help dancing down the steps and to the car. My heart may not have been beating, but it was definitely soaring. I was almost as excited as the day Jasper had finally found me. Not quite, but almost.

I hopped over the door and landed in the passenger seat. It was a cloudy day, but it wouldn't rain, so we had the canvas top stowed. People might think we were odd for driving a convertible in such a chilly and wet climate, but I really enjoyed riding along with the wind on my face.

It was only a thirty-minute drive to the Cullens' new house if we drove the speed limit, which we never did. We never got speeding tickets; I could always see beforehand if a police officer would pull us over. I was a little curious to see how easily I could get out of a ticket if I let that happen, but that was a little too risky. If I didn't succeed, then we would have a mark on our record. And we'd worked too hard to get our names 'legalized' to risk damaging them.

Jasper sat to my right, in the driver's seat, his darker mood intruding on mine a little bit. He was worried.

"It'll be fine, Jazz. I promise they won't fight with us. Carlisle is a pacifist, Esme wouldn't hurt a fly, and Rosalie will be too worried about messing up her hair to get aggressive."

"I know, Alice. I trust your judgment on that."

"Then why are you still so anxious?"

He started the car. I smiled at the sound of the powerful engine roaring to life.

"I know this is very important to you," he answered. "I just hope everything goes smoothly."

I watched him for a few seconds, trying to figure out what was really going on. It sounded like he wasn't saying exactly what he meant. He was worried that things wouldn't go smoothly. But he believed me that there wouldn't be a fight today. So what else could go wrong?

"Jazz you're not… Are you worried that they won't like you?"

He didn't answer.

We were barreling down the road now at about seventy miles per hour. Not as fast as running would have been, but fast enough that we blew past all the other cars on the road.

"Is this because of what happened last month?"

Still no answer.

Jasper had suffered a lapse in self-control recently. Fortunately he was very skilled at hiding his evidence. He still felt terrible about it, though. It was worse now that he was with me than when he'd been on his own. He felt that any sign of weakness on his part was letting me down and proving that he didn't deserve to be with me. Perhaps, now that we were joining the Cullens, he felt that they wouldn't accept him as I had; that his weakness would make him unworthy of being a member of their family.

His eyes still had a faint tinge of orange to them from that last mistake. There was no way this would go unnoticed by Carlisle and the others. But Jasper had nothing to worry about. They would accept him with open arms… after a few minutes of being absolutely terrified of him, that is.

"They'll love you, Jazz. Really. If you could see the things I see you would…" My voice trailed off.

"What's the matter?"

"We're almost there," I said in a low whisper. "They can probably hear our speaking voices now. Turn right onto the gravel road ahead."

He did as I instructed and we followed the winding road deep into the trees.

The road opened up to a grassy lawn and a large wood-paneled house with a peaked roof. There was a giant cedar out front, a stone pathway leading up to the door and a small covered deck.

We parked out by the garage and heard the slight shuffling sounds of the three Cullens hurrying about in the house. Jasper looked at me curiously, wondering why no one came out to greet us.

"They know we're here," I promised. "But humans wouldn't have been able to hear us pull up this far from the house, so they think they need to wait for us to go up to the door and knock. Also, they're moving boxes and wrappings into the living room, trying to make it look like they're still moving in. They've only been here a week and I guess it takes humans longer than that to unpack from a can hear me, though. So now they know that we're not just a couple of humans coming to sell them life insurance or something."

I giggled and hopped out of the car. Jasper jumped out and rushed to position himself in front of me, maintaining a slightly protective stance as we approached the house.

The front door opened and three nervous vampires came out to greet us. Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie were surprised to have visitors at all, let alone vampire visitors. But when they saw the battle scars covering every inch of Jasper's exposed skin, their eyes widened in alarm. Carlisle moved to position himself in front of Esme and Rosalie in a protective stance much more obvious than Jasper's. Then they noticed the yellow color of our irises and disbelief mixed in with the alarm in their expressions. Jasper, sensing their emotions, tensed, ready to defend me if need be.

I murmured into his ear. "Maybe everyone should just calm down a little bit?"

He nodded and sent a wave of tranquility through our group.

Carlisle, seeing that we weren't about to attack and feeling the effects of Jasper's remarkable talent, shifted out of his protective stance and took a step toward us.

"Welcome to our home. I am Carlisle, this is my wife, Esme, and my daughter, Rosalie." He gestured to Esme and Rosalie who nodded, but didn't take their eyes off of Jasper. "To what do we owe the pleasure of this visit from fellow animal-drinkers such as yourselves?"

"I am Jasper, and this is Alice-"

I peeked around Jasper's elbow and waved, grinning widely.

"We have… We are here because…"

"We're here to join your family!" I announced, bouncing a little with excitement.

Three pairs of yellow eyes flashed to me in shock.

"So which room can we move into?" I asked.

"What?" Rosalie was the one who broke the stunned silence.

"Oh, come on, Rosalie. You didn't think the family would stay the same size forever did you?" I rolled my eyes, skipped around Jasper – easily evading his restraining arm - and bounded forward to give Carlisle a hug.

"It's so good to finally meet you, Carlisle! I've been waiting so long! And Esme!" I grabbed her next in a tight embrace. "I just love what you're going to do with this house. I think you should make the garage a little bit bigger, too. You see we brought an extra car… Rosalie!" The stunning blonde was still frozen with shock while I hugged her. "We're going to have so much fun shopping together! And when you're ready I really want you to supercharge the Jaguar for me, okay?"

"But… I don't work on cars!" she protested.

"You will!" I sang. "I'm going to go in and find us a room, Jazz. You can fill them in on the rest."

I sprang into the house and up the stairs while Jasper, feeling a bit awkward and nervous, tried to explain what was going on to the three Cullens. I laughed; it was such a thrill to finally be here!

When I got upstairs I noticed something that I hadn't really thought about. There were only three bedrooms: one for Carlisle and Esme, one for Emmett and Rosalie, and one for Edward.

Hmmm. This wouldn't do.

We couldn't move into Carlisle and Esme's room. Carlisle was the leader; that would be much too presumptuous. We could move into Rosalie and Emmet's room. Emmett might laugh it off, but Rosalie would take that way too personally. It would be decades before she'd get over it. That only left Edward.

I went into his room and looked around.

He had a brand new leather sofa, a desk, a bookshelf full of classics, and a record player with several hundred records stacked next to it. His window looked out onto the lawn and the surrounding forest. I could see the river, and from here we would be able to see both the sunrise and sunset; it was a lovely view.

I picked up the leather sofa and started hauling it downstairs.

Jasper was just wrapping up his explanation of who we were and how we got here.

"You see; Alice doesn't live in the present," he was telling them. "In her mind, once she sees a vision, that vision becomes her reality. So when she saw that we would join your family… to her that was the day she met you. And in her mind she's… we have been a part of your family ever since, regardless of whether or not we've actually met in person."

"We can move into Edward's room," I told him as I hauled the sofa out the front door. "He won't mind too much."

All four of them looked at me, shocked again. But Rosalie quickly recovered and suddenly was stifling laughter.

"I'll help you!" she offered, snickering.

Esme gave her a slightly reproachful look.

"What?" Rosalie asked her. "There are two of them and only one of Edward. The needs of two clearly outweigh the needs of one." She flitted upstairs to gather more of Edward's things.

I snickered, too. "Thanks, Rosalie." I didn't know what Edward had done to piss her off lately, but I was glad for the help.

"What are you going to do with his things?" Esme asked, concerned.

"I was going to just leave them here on the lawn and let him decide what to do with them."

"Oh, dear! I don't want it to look like we want him to leave. Oh, I wish we'd gotten a bigger house!"

I hadn't thought of that. Of course Esme wouldn't want Edward to see even the appearance of rejection. She was still hurting from the time he'd left them to become a vigilante. Did he know just how much he'd hurt his adoptive mother when he'd done that?

"How about the garage?" I offered. "He can stay there until we build additional rooms in the house."

"I suppose that will do."

So Rosalie and I emptied Edward's room while Esme carefully arranged his things, trying to make the corner of the garage look like livable quarters.

When the room was empty Jasper helped me unload the trailer and transfer our furniture and clothes into the house. We finished just in time.

"They'll be here soon!" I announced, springing down the stairs. "Edward will win the race. Sorry, Rose. Emmet didn't have much of a chance. Edward is very fast."

Our three new family members were still a bit stunned. Carlisle was taking it very well. Perhaps he'd lived long enough that he'd already seen almost everything, so few things could faze him for long anymore.

Esme was doing okay. She didn't like familial conflict, and I could tell that she already was thinking of Jasper and I as adopted children, albeit sudden, unexpected, and somewhat strange adopted children.

It seemed that I'd won over Rosalie fairly quickly with my little bedroom stunt. I guessed anyone who irritated Edward was in her good graces. But she didn't seem to be warming up to Jasper yet. Whenever she looked at him I got the idea that she had some unmet expectation from him, like he wasn't fulfilling some social requirement. She wasn't planning on saying anything about it, so I couldn't tell what that was about.

"Can you hear them already?" Esme asked me, listening.

"No, but I can see them." I checked the vision, concentrating on the clock, seeing when exactly they'd enter the room. "They'll be here in about twenty seconds. Or Edward will. Emmett will be here about five seconds after him."

"That's remarkable!" Carlisle exclaimed.

I was still focused on the vision. I'd shifted to the immediate future, watching the boys' race.

"Edward can hear our thoughts now." I laughed at his expression. You're not the only one with a gift anymore, brother! I thought at him.

I giggled again and pushed the vision aside. Carlisle was watching me with a growing smile on his face.

"This is fantastic. Amazing!" he exclaimed. "Miss Alice, I have seen many talents in my times and travels, but yours is truly remarkable."

"Jasper didn't tell you about what he could do, though." I smirked up at Jasper, who just sighed. He'd rather not have the spotlight pointing at him.

"You have an ability, too?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes, sir. I have the ability to sense and manipulate the emotions of those in my immediate vicinity." The way he said it sounded like a soldier addressing a superior officer. He definitely didn't feel comfortable yet.

"He used his gift when we first arrived," I added. "Did you notice how you all calmed down so quickly after we showed up?"

"That was you?" Rosalie asked him.

"Yes, ma'am. I thought it would be for the best, given the circumstances," Jasper answered.

Just then the front door opened and, like a flash of lightning, Edward was before us. His bronze hair was wild and windswept, his eyes wide and incredulous.

"What is happening?" he demanded. His eyes flashed to Carlisle and Esme. They didn't say anything but their expressions were a bit confused and helpless. After a few seconds Edward didn't look any less bewildered than he had when he first heard our thoughts.

"Allow me," I offered.

Edward looked at me. I closed my eyes and shuffled through my store of life memories. I started at the beginning: waking up alone, not knowing who I was; seeing visions of the cloaked vampires and learning to hide evidence of my kills; seeing visions of Jasper in the southern army; seeing visions of Jasper and I joining their family; learning to hunt animals instead of humans; trying to live with humans as though I were one of them; finally meeting Jasper; helping Jasper learn how to be a vegetarian vampire like they were; making money in Las Vegas; moving to Naselle; seeing that Edward and Emmett would be away today; and driving here to meet them.

I searched for visions of our future to show him also: Edward teaching me how to go to high school in Astoria; he and Jasper trying to beat each other in sparring matches; me using my gift to help forewarn the family if the locals were getting too suspicious; Edward playing piano while I sang accompaniment; all seven of us together in a field, playing baseball.

I opened my eyes and looked around. Everyone was staring at us. Behind Edward, Emmett was standing, frozen, with his mouth hanging open.

"What the hell?"

"Really, Emmett. I just explained everything to Edward…" I griped. He raised his eyebrows at me.

"They're joining us, Emmett," Edward explained.

"Okay… But who are they?"

"I'm Alice and this is Jasper." I looked up at Jasper. "Maybe this would have been easier if we'd waited until they were all here at once."

Jasper didn't say anything. He just stood over me, very much in evidence, probably daring either of the new arrivals to try anything.

"Alice sees the future," Edward explained. "She saw us in a vision and so she and Jasper decided to come join our family."

"A psychic? Seriously? Are you sure it's not a trick?" Emmett asked, narrowly eyeing Jasper's scars and moving to put himself between him and Rosalie. Maybe that's why Jasper was suddenly being a bit more protective. He could sense Emmett's distrust.

Edward shook his head. "Everything she's said is the truth." He looked at Carlisle. "The things she showed me… there's no way she could have made some of them up. And no way she could have seen some of the others… She's seen the Rochester house, Carlisle. She perfectly recalled some conversations we've had there. She would have had to be inside the house with us to see the things she showed me."

Carlisle's eyes lit up with the new information.

"So, um, Jasper," Emmett asked, casually. "What's with all the scars?"

I rolled my eyes. Maybe Emmett didn't know about the newborn armies in the south. Or if he did, maybe he hadn't made the connection.

"I used to train the armies that control the central south territory. Or, at least they did control that territory three years ago. It may have been overtaken since I left. I received almost all of my scars warring with the other covens and newborn armies, accumulating the twenty-five thousand square miles of territory we came to control in southern Texas and northern Mexico."

Emmett's eyes grew very large and he whistled appreciatively.

"You only just left three years ago?" Esme asked, tender concern in her voice.

"This lifestyle must seem very difficult to you," Carlisle observed.

"It is hard, at times," Jasper admitted. "After so many years of instant gratification I'm finding self-control to be rather difficult. But it's worth it." He looked at me and I grinned up at him.

"Well, I certainly look forward to getting to know you two better," Carlisle announced.

Esme smiled at the acceptance implicit in Carlisle's statement. "Welcome to the family!" She exclaimed.

I squealed and jumped up to hug Esme and Carlisle again. Jasper shook hands with Edward and then Emmett, who squeezed harder than necessary for a friendly handshake. Jasper just smiled and sent a sharp pang of fear into him. Emmett jumped back and Edward and I laughed while Jasper explained what he had done.

I pulled Rosalie aside to tell her all about a new fashion designer in Seattle. I wanted to plan a weekend trip soon because there was this lovely dress design that would look absolutely gorgeous on her.

We were in the middle of our discussion when Edward, who had gone upstairs, suddenly shouted:

"What happened to all of my things?"

"They're in the garage," I answered, casually.

Rosalie started giggling and Emmet roared with laughter.

Edward flew down the stairs, but stopped before he got too close to me. Jasper was standing protectively at my side.

"And… Why are my things in the garage?" he demanded.

I shrugged. "Jasper and I had to move in somewhere. And your room had the best view."


	34. Target

**September 1920**

Things had changed. A few weeks after the dangerous one had come for me, pretending to be an official from another asylum and taking several other patients with him, a piece of terrible news spread through the asylum staff.

I was having lunch in the communal dining area after spending time outside when I first heard the gossip. The assistants were pacing through the aisles, serving us our meals and murmuring to one another in voices they hoped we couldn't hear or understand. After a short while I understood the gist of what they were talking about.

One of the female staff members had gone missing. It seemed that she had left the asylum a few days earlier to go home, but had not returned to work. No one had heard from her and no one was able to contact her. The entire staff was worried about it. What could have happened to her?

About a week later there was another disappearance, a male staff member. Only this time there was evidence as to what had happened to him. A few days after his disappearance, his body was discovered in the woods outside the asylum. He appeared to have been killed and mutilated by a wild animal.

The staff was very frightened by this point. It appeared there was a killer animal on the loose in the woods outside. The staff took precautions to not go off the grounds alone and to carry weapons when entering the wooded area. The police and animal control were called in hopes the beast could be captured or killed. But no one could find any trace of it.

A week after that there was yet another disappearance. This time a patient went missing from the garden, within the fenced-in lawn and only just out of sight of the staff. Later her body was also discovered in the woods, mangled almost beyond recognition. Supposedly the wild beast had killed her too.

Fear grew into terror when the asylum employees realized that they weren't safe even within the fenced lawn. None of the staff was allowed to go outside alone. And the patients weren't allowed to go outside at all anymore.

Weeks passed and the body count steadily rose.

Alaric confirmed my suspicions when I asked him about it. He was certain that this was no animal we were dealing with. It was the other one, the dangerous one. Only Alaric wasn't sure what he was trying to accomplish, or if he'd simply gone mad.

"He is being very careful," Alaric explained. "So far all of the victims look like simple disappearances or slayings by some wild beast. Still, if he keeps this up… surely he realizes that he's going to grab the attention of the Italians sooner or later. He could be thinking that he will pin all of this on me. But that will never happen."

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because Aro, the leader of the Italians, also has a special gift. It is similar to mine but much more powerful. He can read thoughts, every thought that has passed through your mind, even the ones you can't remember, so he would be able to know that I am not guilty of these murders…"

His voice trailed off and he looked pensive.

"So, if the Italians do come they will kill him?" I asked.

"If they think he's risking exposure too much, then yes."

I thought about that. Knowing how rock-hard Alaric's body was, how incredibly strong he was, and how he'd explained that he didn't need to breathe and couldn't be poisoned … I had to ask.

"How? How is it possible to kill… one of you?"

"It's not easy," he said, so quietly I almost couldn't hear him. "The only way to permanently destroy a vampire is to incinerate him. But even that is difficult. You can't simply throw a vampire onto a fire and be done with him." He looked at me, seeing the burning, morbid curiosity in my eyes.

"You see, our flesh is very hard, as hard as diamond. But cushioning each cell of our diamond-hard body is a fluid. Just as your body has fluids making it possible for you to move and fuel your muscles, so does ours. Only our fluid is highly inflammable. This fluid must be exposed in order to combust."

"You're saying you have to be injured and bleeding in order to catch fire?"

"Well, we don't exactly bleed. But you understand the general idea. Our flesh must first be broken, exposing the fluid, and then we must be burned. That is the only sure way of destroying one of our kind."

After that night Alaric didn't come to visit me as often as he used to. He told me that he was making preparations; but he wouldn't elaborate on what those preparations were. I hoped he was planning our escape, but I was pretty sure that if that were the case he wouldn't have any trouble telling me about it. So I could only speculate about what he was up to.

In the past two months I'd scarcely left my cell at all.

I was no longer being taken for treatments. It seemed that the doctor was either too concerned with the killings to pay me much mind, or perhaps he and Mr. Matranga were finally giving up on me.

The nurses didn't even come to bathe me or shave my head, even though my hair was longer than they'd ever allowed it to grow before. I could actually twist my fingers in it, something I hadn't been able to do since I first arrived at this awful place. I figured that this was because of how short-staffed they were after all the "wild animal attacks".

So I sat alone in my cell, day after day, waiting to hear news from the outside via hushed conversations outside my door or for my only friend to come visit me and tell me what was really going on.

One night I was having a particularly hard time sleeping. Alaric had not come to me and it seemed that I'd come to depend on his visits to help me relax before retiring. I would sit on my mattress and watch the light through my window fade, shifting colors from bright blue-white, to yellow, to orange. I would wait, listening for any sound of his approach, though there never was any aside from the tap at the door. And when that came my heart would jump into my throat and I would have to swallow it back down before calling for him to come in.

But this night there had been no tap on my door. So I stood by my window and tried to look out into the darkness. There was a tropical storm raging outside. The wind howled against the building and I could hear the downpour of rain on my little barred window. All I could see through the sheeting rain was the dim glow of the nearly full moon behind the clouds.

I wondered if Alaric was out there trying to prepare a way for us to escape. Would the rain bother him? Even though I now believed what he told me about himself, it was still hard to accept all the implications. He'd proven to me that he could hear the faintest whisper through thick walls, yet I still had the urge to raise my voice so he could hear me when he was outside my room. I'd felt how incredibly solid and cold his body was, like a stone floor in winter. But I was concerned that a little rainstorm would make him uncomfortable.

Perhaps, once we were away from this place, I would be allowed to really see what he was capable of: his speed, his strength, his invincibility. Maybe that would make it all more real to me.

I smiled to myself, pleased at the thought. But I couldn't deny that it also frightened me a little, too. Even though I really liked Alaric, and even though I truly believed that he meant me no harm, I could never completely shake the creepy feeling I had in his presence. Just when I'd think it was gone for good he'd do or say something unexpected and I'd feel chills running down my spine.

As I stood by my window, musing to myself about my uncertain future, I heard something... unexpected.

The sound was like a roar. It wasn't like a lion's roar, though. It was much more wild than that. It sent chills down my spine, raised goose bumps on my arms, and made my stomach tremble. It was the same sound I'd heard in the woods the last time I'd been to my favorite rock.

The roar came again, it was some distance off but I felt a powerful urge to run away as fast as I could. Only there was nowhere I could run. I was trapped.

Then I heard a boom, like a roll of thunder echoing through the trees. Snarls followed, every bit as terrifying as the roars, and then more thunderous booms. I never saw any lightning.

I was fairly certain that I knew what all this meant. The other vampire was out there, and Alaric was fighting against him. He was fighting to protect me.

A conversation we'd had a long time ago came back to me. Alaric had told me that this other one was dangerous. Not just dangerous to weak and tasty humans, but dangerous even to himself. He'd explained that this one was likely a "tracker". And he'd told me that a tracker was the closest thing his kind had to a serial killer.

The horrible sounds of battle continued to echo in the night outside my cell. My stomach trembled again, but not just in fear for myself. Alaric was out there. He was fighting for me. My friend was in danger.

Hearing the sounds of vicious battle raging outside, I felt a powerful urge to run out there and put myself, weak and defenseless as I was, between him and the danger he was facing. If I could have done it, if I wasn't locked away behind a series of bolted doors, I would have.

_Don't hurt him! Please, don't hurt him! I begged silently._

The snarls, roars, and thunderous booms raged on.

Hours passed and eventually the sounds died away. I waited for either Alaric to come and tell me he was okay, or for the other one to come and kill me. Neither happened, though, and I was left alone to worry about whether or not my friend was unharmed or even alive.

The next day my breakfast tray was delivered on time and without comment, as were my lunch and dinner trays. Perhaps nobody else had noticed the horrible noises last night. I ate all of my food even though I was almost physically sick with worry.

I couldn't bring myself to read. I was so anxious I couldn't think about anything else. I just sat in my bed, tapping my fingers together and staring at the door, hoping to hear something that would tell me that Alaric was okay. If I had the energy I would have been pacing back and forth in the tiny space. But even though I'd been eating significantly more lately I was still too weak to walk very much.

The daylight finally started to fade. This made me even more anxious, though. What if he didn't come? Would that mean he was dead? I felt a lump swell in my throat at that thought. Would the other one come? What would I do if he did? Was there anything I could do?

Each minute that passed made me more anxious. Eventually I was bouncing in place trying to keep my nerves under control. The sky outside turned a fiery orange color.

Before it was really dark outside I heard a tap at the door.

"Come in?" I whispered the words. Hardly able to hope it could be him.

The door opened and Alaric glided in, more graceful and more beautiful that I'd ever seen him before.

"You're okay!" I cried. I leapt off the bed and ran the three steps it took to close the distance between us. I threw my arms around his rock-hard waist and wept in relief.

"I... was... so... worried!" I sobbed into his chest, inhaling his spicy-sweet scent.

"You were worried about me?"

"Of course. I heard what was... happening. I'm so glad he didn't hurt you."

"Alice..." He had gently wrapped his arms around my shoulders. Now he gripped them and pushed me away. "Things have changed."

"What do you mean?"

"Last night I went into the wilderness outside of the fence. I wanted to speak to this other one, to discern what his motives truly are. He was surprisingly cooperative. He told me immediately what it was he was after and what he would do to get it…" He growled quietly and lowered me onto my bed.

"We did fight; it seems you heard that. I was able to chase him off, but not permanently. He will be back. He will keep coming here until he gets what he wants."

His expression was tortured.

"What does he want, then?" I asked, in a meek voice. I was pretty sure I already knew.

His eyes flashed to my face, his expression somehow becoming even more pained.

"He wants you. That's why he's been targeting the asylum, killing staff and patient alike. He's been putting pressure on me, on where I work, trying to draw me out because I'm protecting you. It is you he wants and he'll do anything to get you."

"But… What can we do?"

He buried his face in his hands for a long moment, not moving or even breathing as far as I could tell. Then he looked up at me again, took a deep breath, and answered.

"It's up to you, Alice. If you stay here I can't protect you for much longer. I think I'm beginning to understand this one. The only reason I was able to fend him off last night is because he prefers a game to a fight. He would rather try to outwit me, to break through our defenses, than to kill me and take you easily. If you stay here, one way or another I believe he will get you."

"So we have to run." I had really been hoping for this option all along.

Alaric surprised me by looking very grave and shaking his head.

"If we run... Alice, I cannot protect you out there."

"But I can't stay in here. You already said that."

"There are only two options before you that I can see, two terrible options. It's your choice how we proceed from here on out. I won't force anything on you."

"What choices?"

"You can stay here and live for as long as possible before this other one comes for you..."

"Or?"

He took a deep breath and looked me in the eyes. In the late afternoon light I could see his face clearly. His eyes were bright red, the shadows underneath almost completely gone. I thought I could even detect a faint flush in his cheeks.

"Or I can change you," he stated, simply.

"Into a vampire?" I whispered the words.

"If you become one of us, he will no longer have any reason to come for you."

I thought about it for a long minute.

"I believe," he murmured, grimacing. "I'm not certain, of course, but I believe that I may be able to alleviate some of the pain of transformation."

"You can?" I asked, though I wasn't paying much attention anymore. I was still trying to wrap my mind around what he'd just said: changing me into a vampire?

"You remember that special talent of mine?" he asked.

"Erasing memories."

"That's right. If I were to take some of your memory, your mind would shut down for a time while adjusting to the change. During that time I believe you would not be able to feel any pain."

"I don't want to lose my memories." I whispered automatically. I was still in shock.

"There is another, more pressing, decision that needs to be made first. If you want to escape, we should do so soon. The hunter is away now, but I do not know how much time we have before he returns."

"I do want to escape! Please, help me get out of here!"

"That means – "

"I don't know yet…about…_that_. But I do want to get out of this place."

"Alice, he will find us out there. He is a very skilled tracker. We won't be able to evade him for long, not while you're still human. I believe the only way for you to survive at all is to become something he's not interested in hunting anymore."

"Okay, I know that." I balled my fists over my eyes. "It's just... I need time. Just give me some time, please?" I looked up into his red, warm, caring eyes.

His face grew hard, but he nodded. "I'll be back tomorrow night, ready to break you out of here. Think hard on what you want, Alice. I'm sure it's fairly obvious what I want, but this is your decision, not mine."

"I will, Alaric."

"Try to sleep, if you can. I still have many preparations to make. But I promise to be here for you tomorrow."

"Thank you. And… Alaric?"

He turned to look at me, already halfway through the door.

"I'm glad to have you as a friend."

"As I am you. I will see you tomorrow, Alice."


	35. Wedding

**March 1949**

Everything was ready. The chairs were neatly arranged on the bright, open lawn, small bouquets of miniature calla lilies tied to the end of each row. The gazebo was festooned with ivy, tulle, and thousands of white flowers of every variety. A thick trail of white and pink rose petals wound its way down the center aisle between the chairs and circled the area where we would be standing.

The surrounding wilderness was all in bloom. Cherry blossoms, pink dogwood, lupine, and phlox filled the air with their sweet aromas. Scattered about the soft green lawn were thousands of tiny wild daisies.

I was glad that I had chosen to have an all-vampire guest list. As exciting as having thousands of people come to our wedding would have been, it was much more meaningful to arrange it so we could all just be ourselves. I was having a garden wedding on a sunny day, something that really would not have worked with humans present.

Our guest list was very small. I'd asked Carlisle to invite his friends. Tanya, Kate, Irina, Carmen and Eleazar, who currently resided just outside of Ketchikan. They were old friends of Carlisle's from before he'd changed Edward, and were excited to come visit him and meet his growing family.

Jasper's friends, Peter and Charlotte, were also glad to join us. They were surprised to learn that such a amazing things had happened to their friend so shortly after his leaving them. And they were curious to meet the mysterious female that had cast such a powerful spell over the dark warrior they had previously known.

I dressed Rosalie and Esme in their long white gowns and helped them with their hair. Rosalie suggested that I do my hair up in pin curls. I was very pleased with how it turned out and decided that would be my go-to formal hairstyle until I could figure something else out. Then I dressed in my wedding gown. It was a white tea-length dress with shoestring straps, a Chantilly lace bodice and full circle skirt of Chantilly tulle organza. It was elegant and feminine, yet practical and fun.

Rose and Esme stayed inside with me to keep me company while the boys waited for our guests outside. We'd only been with the Cullens for a couple of weeks but we fit right in, just as I had known we would.

Jasper and Emmett were becoming fast friends. Emmett was thrilled to have a sparring partner who couldn't "cheat" the way Edward could by reading his mind. And Edward was glad to have a brother with whom he could have deep intellectual debates. Not that Emmett was slow, by any means. But our new big, burly brother was more a man of action than a man of words. And, though Carlisle was highly intelligent, Edward respected him far too much to try really challenging any of his philosophies.

I absolutely adored Esme. Being with her almost felt like being able to know my real mother. And having Rosalie as a sister was actually a lot more fun than I'd expected it to be. She could be cold on the outside. But once you broke through that icy layer there was the potential for a decent person underneath. It was also nice to be able to have some girl time finally. We'd had three shopping trips already and they were much more fulfilling than any shopping experience I'd ever had with Jasper.

Outside, on the lawn, the guests were arriving. Jasper greeted Peter and Charlotte and introduced them to the Cullens. His old friends were incredulous when they saw his golden eyes and heard Carlisle's story. I could see that they weren't yet ready to go vegetarian. But it was possible that someday they would.

Carlisle's friends arrived next. Tanya's family hadn't seen Carlisle in over a hundred years and they were excited to get caught up and meet everyone. I wanted to go out and meet them, too. But it was bad luck for the groom to see the bride on the wedding day. Not that I really believed in all that, but we had this one chance to get it right and I wasn't going to mess it up just to run out and say 'hi'.

Then it was time for the ceremony to begin.

Edward started playing the piano, which had been moved out onto the lawn for the occasion. The song he played was his own composition, light and playful, yet also serious and beautiful. He'd written it especially for Jasper and I. It fit the scenery, the mood, and our love perfectly.

The curious guests sat down in the white wooden chairs. Carlisle, Jasper and Emmett, whom Jasper had asked to be his best man, took their positions under the Gazebo. Inside the house, Rosalie smiled at me and Esme kissed my forehead, then my two bridesmaids slowly marched out to the music, taking their positions.

The music swelled and changed. Edward started playing Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring, a song composed of two separate melodies woven together to form a new, seamless piece of music, just like marriage. That was my cue.

I stepped out onto the porch. Our family and friends, all glimmering in the sunlight, turned and rose to their feet, watching me curiously. This was the first time many of them had seen me. My new family smiled. Esme and Rosalie were breathtaking in their white silk gowns. Carlisle, Emmett, Edward and Jasper were dashing in their white tuxedos but I was really only watching Jasper. His smile was warm and radiant, when he saw me. His eyes, buttery yellow from his bachelor's party last night, sparkled with excitement.

I stepped down onto the grass, into the sun. My exposed skin burst into light, sparkling brilliantly and casting thousands of tiny rainbows all around me.

Our guests murmured to one another appreciatively at the sight. My grin broadened.

It didn't take long, following the rhythm of the song, to reach Carlisle and Jasper under the gazebo. When I did Edward stopped playing and came to take his place as a groomsman, right behind Emmett.

Carlisle was officiating the wedding though he wasn't technically ordained. It didn't matter to us if the human world considered us married or not. It would have just been one more false piece of paper to add to our forged legal documents. What mattered was that we were having a real wedding. What made it real was that it was real to us. Besides, Carlisle was a minister... once upon a time anyway. He had been ordained in his human life, three hundred hears ago in London.

The service only lasted about ten minutes. Esme sang a lovely song for us. Our vows were simple but heartfelt. And then Carlisle pronounced us "man and wife". Our guests cheered and applauded. Edward dashed back to the piano and played the Wedding March while Jasper and I proceeded back up the aisle together.

The reception immediately followed the wedding in the back yard. I changed out of my wedding dress and into a light, playful, two-piece party ensemble. There was no food at our reception, of course. But I had decorated the yard with long garlands of vines and flowers and hundreds of white candles of all sizes. And there was dancing! Emmett helped Edward bring the piano out back - Not that it was heavy for them, but it needed to be supported in multiple areas to prevent it buckling under its own weight. - Then the family took turns playing dance music from every era represented. We waltzed; we danced a quadrille; we danced swing with Peter and Charlotte; we assembled in a ring and danced khorovods with Tanya, Kate and Irina; Eleazar and Carmen even showed us an old renaissance-era Spanish wedding dance.

The dancing and talking and laughing lasted for hours. Peter and Charlotte said they would like to continue to visit us in the future. The Canadians were thrilled to meet all of us and glad to see Carlisle again. Tanya suggested that sometime we should all try moving in together for a while. She knew of a place in Denali Alaska that had plenty of wild game for all of us to share. The way she looked at Edward when she suggested this gave me the impression that, when this happened, she was hoping he would be more than just her friendly companion. But, unfortunately, I didn't see that happening.

The sun was setting when we finally said our goodbyes. Our family and guests showered us with rice while Jasper and I dashed to the Jaguar. I waved and blew kisses out the passenger-side window while Jasper peeled out onto the long gravel driveway, our car towing a trail of once-used shoes.

Once we were out on the highway Jasper gunned the engine and we practically flew up the road.

"Was it everything you were hoping it would be?" he asked.

"It was, and so much more! That was the most fun I've ever had!"

"I'm glad for it," he chuckled. "I knew you would enjoy yourself."

"Of course!" I laughed with him. "So does this mean I'm 'Mrs. Jasper Whitlock' now?"

He stopped laughing and thought about that for a moment. "It doesn't really matter to me what surname you prefer. I don't have any particular attachment to the name Whitlock myself. But you can have it if you like."

"I only like it because it's yours."

"It's only mine because it is the name I was born into, in a human family I barely remember. If you would like a family name, why not take on the Cullen name as Edward, Esme and Emmett have?"

"I think I might do that… if it doesn't bother you."

"Why would it bother me?"

"Because I married you, not Carlisle."

"I know you married me. You know you married me. That's all that matters." He smiled and I grinned back.

"I did marry you." I leaned into him, taking his arm, and kissed his cheek. "So where are you taking us on our honeymoon?"

"Don't you know already?" he asked, smiling.

"I've been trying not to peek," I admitted.

"Admirable of you." He raised an eyebrow at me curiously. "I'm taking you to a little place I know of in Jasper National Park."

"_Jasper_ National Park?"

"Merely a coincidence," he chuckled.

"What's in Jasper National Park?" I asked.

"I went there to go hunting once, shortly after we arrived on the west coast. I came across a particularly beautiful place and I thought it would be nice to share it with you. Now... will you tell me something?"

"What do you want to know?"

He looked at me curiously again. "You never let me keep secrets from you if you can help it. Why so much self-restraint this time?"

I smiled. But if I could have I would've blushed. "If I had looked I would have seen a vision of us…on our honeymoon. And in our new household our thoughts… and my visions… aren't exactly private anymore; not with Edward around."

Jasper chuckled. "I see." Then he frowned slightly. "Perhaps I should be more careful with my thoughts around him, too."

"I think it's pretty much unavoidable." I smiled, wondering what thoughts he wished he'd kept from Edward. "With Emmett and Rosalie around he's got to have a very strong stomach, I'm sure."

The sun was set now but Jasper kept the headlights off and raced up the highway as quickly as we could go. We were pushing our European racing car to its limit, but we still had to stop for gas once in a while. So in the end it took us nine hours to drive what would have taken about thirteen if we had been abiding by the traffic laws.

When we finally reached the park it was in the small hours of the morning. We wound our way up the steep mountainside and when the foliage outside started looking frosty Jasper drove out onto an old hunting road and parked in a secluded corner. The car was well hidden by low brush, the park rangers wouldn't find it.

Jasper took my hand and led me through the trees, racing even further up the mountainside. Pretty soon we ascended the peak and started running downhill again, into the cleft between the peaks of two great mountains.

Something strange happened then. The air started warming. I could smell heavy minerals and hot steam jumbled together with mist from freshwater spray. I also heard the thunderous noise of crashing water. A waterfall?

Jasper squeezed my hand. "Have you peeked yet?"

"Not yet," I smiled. "I figure since I made it this far I might as well let it be a surprise."

He slowed to a stop, and then watched me closely while he pushed aside a thick mass of branches in front of us.

I gasped in wonder at the vision before me. The hill we were descending continued down into a narrow valley. On the opposite side of the valley a steep cliff rose to meet the next mountainside. Six majestic waterfalls poured into a white, boiling river beneath us.

I looked closer and saw, in the purplish light of night, that tucked in the far corner of the valley from the falls natural hot springs steamed thickly, sending the scents of their minerals into the air.

"Are you pleased?" Jasper asked, looking a little worried. And no wonder, all I felt so far was stunned.

"It's so beautiful!" I gasped.

"The humans haven't found this place yet. I think it would be very hard to get to for them. So we have it all to ourselves for as long as you like."

"Oh, Jazz. It's perfect!" I jumped up and squeezed his neck, kissing him fervently.

He kissed me back and chuckled. When I let him go he looked at me, gazing seriously into my eyes for a long moment. I felt his joy, contentment, wonder, and even a tiny bit of amusement. I'd been with him long enough now that I didn't mistake his feelings for mine, even though mine were pretty much identical to his. I smiled up at him, letting happiness swell within me so that he could feel how thoroughly pleased I was.

He smiled and held out his hand. I took it and we ran down the hill together. When we reached the bottom Jasper let me explore on my own for a little while. I hopped from stone to stone across the river and skipped over to the swimming-pool-sized hot springs. The steamy water was crystal clear and bright blue. I picked up my skirt and waded in up to my knees, enjoying the intense sensation of the hot water on my icy skin.

"I thought you would enjoy these," Jasper said. "Though they're not exactly a bubble bath…"

"They're better," I grinned. We could both fit in these, and if I had anything to say about it we would.

He must have sensed my mood and possibly guessed at my thoughts, because he cleared his throat and changed the subject.

"There's somewhere I would very much like to show you, it's my favorite place here."

"Ok."

He took my hand again and led me back up the river toward the waterfalls. We ascended a mound of slick wet boulders beneath the largest of the falls, the thunderous noise would have been deafening to a human. He took me behind the cascading water and a short way up the rocky cliff face where a giant cave was carved right into the wall behind the falls. The cave was like a small amphitheater but the opening was entirely concealed from the outside by the thick curtain of falling water.

I just stood, mesmerized by the shifting colors and tones of light shimmering through the waterfall. It was breathtakingly beautiful.

Jasper stroked my cheek with his fingertips and I looked up into his eyes.

"I'm glad you like it," he murmured, with a small smile.

I didn't say anything back. It would have been pointless. Jasper knew me well enough by now that he almost didn't need his special ability to read my moods. So I just gazed into his light golden eyes, reached up, and stroked his face as well.

Neither of us looked away, our eyes remained locked together. But after a moment the sound of Jasper's shirt hitting the floor could be heard. My dress followed, then his pants. One by one our articles of clothing were shed, falling away like so many walls that had been standing between us when we first met.

When the final physical barrier was cast off I stepped toward him, closing the last little distance between us, and traced the scars on his chest and arms, kissing the special one that wrapped around his shoulder. His breath trembled when my fingers grazed down his stomach.

He placed his hands around my waist and slowly slid them up to my shoulders, to my neck. His fingers grazed over the solitary crescent-shaped scar on the left side of my throat, and then he lifted his hands further, cradling my face between them. He bowed down and kissed me softly, seriously.

I reached up, wrapping my arms around his neck, holding myself tightly to him. Our kiss deepened, our breathing sped. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling my body even tighter against his. Every touch of his skin against mine felt like an electric shock. Every kiss spoke wordless volumes. Then, all at once he lifted me up into his arms and the last wall between us finally came crashing down.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: This might be my last update for a month or longer. I apologize to all of my loyal readers. However, sadly it is unavoidable. I'm moving overseas and it might take awhile for our household goods, including my computer, to arrive. I promise to update again as soon as possible.<strong>


	36. Flight

**Author's Note: I apologize for how long it's taken to post this next chapter. Our family is finally settling in over here on the other side of the world (from most of you, anyway). Enjoy!**

**September 1920**

I slept fitfully that night, waking often. I kept having nightmares about burning, red eyes and sharp, glistening teeth. When I woke shivering in my small, cold room I felt even more desolate than usual with the weight of this latest revelation on my mind. I tried to cheer myself with the one piece of good news from last night.

We would be escaping soon. Just one more day in this horrid place and I would be out.

Of course I didn't forget that my life was in danger and I had an important decision to make. Alaric seemed very sure that I couldn't survive for much longer as a human. Since this other one decided to make me his latest quarry that left me with only two options. I could die as a human or live as a vampire.

That made it sound so simple; too simple. I knew that life was almost always more complicated than that.

If I did ask Alaric to change me into a vampire there would definitely be a lot of hardships ahead. He'd said that being a vampire would make me very thirsty for humans; so thirsty that I would gladly feed on the people dearest to me; so thirsty that I would kill Dee just to satisfy my desire for her blood.

I shuddered and redirected my thoughts.

I wouldn't ever be able to have children. I didn't have any desire to be a mother just yet. My life had been much too complicated for me to even consider the possibility for the past two years. But I knew that didn't mean I would never want to have a baby. Alaric said that he had lived for over a millennia and he still looked like a young god. A thousand years is a long time. It would be silly to think that it was impossible, or even unlikely, that I would never want a child of my own in all that time.

And, on top of that there was the pain of transformation to be considered. Alaric had said that he was longing for death the entire time he was changing. I didn't know how long the transformation would take, but it sounded like it was more than just a few seconds. And it sounded like it hurt… a lot.

I spent a few hours considering these things, weighing them against the possibility of death.

My family didn't really attend church regularly. We would go for Christmas Eve and Easter. We went to the church once for my cousin's funeral after he was killed in the war. From the small knowledge I'd gleaned from my experiences I understood that if I died I would go to Heaven. That didn't seem so bad. Not that I wanted to die; of course I didn't. But I didn't see death as the ultimate evil in the world. Mere infants faced death every day, why should I balk if it was my time to go?

The sun was high in the sky, streaming brightly through my window. The clear, bright day was in stark contrast to the storm we'd had two nights ago. My mind wandered to the events of that stormy night and trembled.

The dangerous vampire outside had said that he would do anything to get to me. How good could I possibly smell that he would want to drink my blood so badly? But, no, Alaric had explained that it wasn't entirely about my blood. It was about the sport; the same way a fox hunter would spend a great deal of energy and money on equipment, training their hounds, risking their lives with dangerous horsemanship, and wasting an entire day just to hunt one little fox.

So if it weren't really about me, then what would he do if Alaric spoiled the game for him?

I didn't know much about this dangerous vampire or the world in which these mythical beings lived. But I couldn't help thinking of what would happen if a weak but well-intentioned child interfered with one of the cruel games of the school bully. He'd get pummeled.

My heart started beating faster when I thought of that. What if, by saving me, Alaric was risking his own life? He'd said the other one was… not stronger than he was… but more dangerous, more skilled in fighting. So if my metaphor applied, my friend would probably be attacked. And he would probably lose that fight.

My insides clenched and my throat tightened at the thought.

No. If that was how things were I couldn't let it happen. Alaric had been such a good friend to me, there was so much goodness in this ancient being; I couldn't let him sacrifice himself for me.

I suddenly heard a commotion outside. There was screaming and shouting that didn't sound like the usual wailing of my fellow inmates.

I crept to my door and stood on my tiptoes to peek out the narrow barred window. The hallway was empty, but I could see a gray haze creeping along the ceiling. It smelled like smoke.

In a flash, bright red eyes obstructed my view.

"I'm coming in," Alaric said.

I stepped back from the door and he entered, very swiftly.

"We must go. Now."

"Now?" Before I finished saying the word he'd scooped me up in his arms and we were facing the door.

"I'm not supposed to be here right now, and you're not supposed to be leaving. So it would be best if nobody saw us, wouldn't you agree?" He spoke the words so swiftly I almost couldn't follow what he was saying. He was peeking out the door, looking down the hall towards the clamor of shouting people in the smoke.

"Did you start a fire?"

"Yes."

And suddenly we were flying down the hallway at an impossible speed. He took me to the far end of the hall and down a dark stairway that looked to have been used only by the asylum staff.

Then we were outside. He carried me along the wall, within the thin strip of shade provided by the building. His skin looked strange in the indirect light of the bright, sunny day.

In mere seconds he was carrying me into another room. It was a large, white room with a cement floor, narrow steel tables, and strange tools hanging from racks on the wall. The floor was slightly slanted and there was a drain in the corner by the wall that led to the outside. I looked around, not understanding what this room was. It was remarkably clean, compared to most of the other rooms I'd seen.

Alaric set me gently on my feet and opened a closet.

"What is this place?"

"This is where I do much of my work."

I looked around more. The metal tables with metal gutters around their rims, the stacks of white sheets in racks along the walls, the oversized sinks and cabinets...

Alaric found what he was looking for, an enormous coil of rope. He wrapped it over his head and beneath his left arm, then picked me back up and carried me out through the large double doors.

"That was the morgue, wasn't it?"

"Yes," he admitted, his tone neutral but strained.

I shuddered slightly.

We paused at the edge of the shade provided by the building. Alaric stared up at the windows; smoke now pouring out of every one of them.

"Is the building going to burn?"

"It shouldn't. The fire was well contained in one room. It's only creating a lot of smoke."

I almost felt disappointed that the asylum wouldn't be destroyed. Then I remembered all the other patients in there who probably wouldn't make it out alive if it were.

After a few more moments of standing perfectly still, watching the windows, Alaric darted forward. He moved so suddenly that my head whipped back and bashed into his stone-hard shoulder.

I cringed in pain, gritting my teeth and squeezing my eyes closed, waiting for my ears to stop ringing.

"Alice! Are you hurt? I'm terribly sorry!" Alaric exclaimed over the wind he was creating by running so swiftly.

I groaned softly. "I think I'm okay."

And then I opened my eyes.

I was speechless. I literally couldn't put any words together in my head for what I was seeing.

Alaric was carrying me at a much swifter pace than any automobile I'd ever been in. The trees on the side of the old dirt road we were using darted past us at a mind-blowing speed.

But what really affected me was his face. We were flying over the ground in direct sunlight now. His face, turned down to me with an expression of profound concern, was sparkling, glimmering like it was made of millions of tiny diamonds. From what he'd told me that was almost exactly the truth. His shoulder-length jet-black hair was blown back by the wind. His eyes, brighter red than I had ever seen them before, burned down into mine.

"Are you certain that I haven't hurt you?" he asked in an even voice, not even breathing hard from the running.

He probably thought my dumbfounded expression was a result of head trauma.

I blinked a few times. "I'm okay, really. I've just never seen you in the sun before."

"That's right." He almost smiled. "I'd forgotten. My mind is a bit preoccupied today. The effect is rather remarkable, isn't it?"

"It is." I wanted to stare closely at his skin, to see if I could distinguish the individual facets reflecting the light, but looking into his face for very long overwhelmed me.

He ran in silence for a while; the wind whipping through his hair and roaring in my ears. I shivered in the cold. I was only wearing the one-piece nightgown that the asylum provided for me. And being pressed up against Alarics chilly body certainly didn't help me stay warm.

After about a quarter hour I started to smell the briny scent of the ocean.

"What are we doing?" I asked over the roaring wind. I couldn't hear my voice, but Alaric could.

He slowed to a walk, then stopped and set me down again.

"First you need to tell me what you've decided," he answered. His tone was almost scolding.

"I…I'm not sure."

Alaric…growled at me. There was no other way to describe the terrifying noise rumbling in his chest. I quaked in fear.

"There is no more time for hesitation, Alice. If you do not decide now, he will decide for you!"

"I know. But…"

"What?"

"But if you change me… What if that makes him angry? What if he decides to hurt you…or kill you because of it?"

He looked stunned. "That's all you're worried about?"

"Well, not all…"

He was suddenly right in front of me, his hands on my shoulders, eyes burning into mine.

"Don't you to worry about that. Do you understand what I'm saying? I need you to consider your options and tell me what it is you want. Don't worry for me."

Looking into his eyes, hearing how he spoke, something about it made me think that he'd known losing his life was a possibility all along. And he didn't care. My throat tightened up again.

"Tell me, Alice! Please! Tell me what you want!" he nearly shouted, shaking me slightly.

"I… I want to live! I don't want him to get me. I want you to change me!" I sobbed, closing my eyes. Tears started trickling down my cheeks.

I heard him gasp. Then he sighed heavily and pulled me to him in a very gentle embrace.

"Thank you!" he breathed. His icy breath tickled on my neck.

The next thing I knew he was darting around the forest, moving very swiftly, I heard loud snaps and cracks and saw that he was methodically felling the trees around me.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to build you a raft."

I watched him in amazement. He was ripping up the forest as though the trees were nothing more than matchsticks.

"Why are you building me a raft? Are we sailing to Africa?"

"No," he answered, snapping the trunk of a tree in two with his bare hands.

"If you're on the water it will be harder for him to find you. You won't leave a scent trail."

"Oh." Like a bloodhound, I guessed.

I continued to watch him. Even though he was working impossibly fast it still took a while for the raft to be completed. I sort of dozed off for a bit, and when I woke I was surprised to see the remarkable craftsmanship of his creation.

He'd somehow hewn the fresh timber into thick boards, complete with notches for his rope to wrap around. He'd expertly lashed the wood together with his rope and tied it securely. The finished raft looked remarkably sturdy.

He lifted the raft with one hand and walked to me. Easily carrying the weight of three trees in his right arm he lifted me into his left. He carried the raft and me a little way further, over the last hill to the waterfront. He set me down and laid the raft out into the gentle waves. In the orange-red light of evening his skin sparkled like gold.

"Come, Alice!" he called, holding the raft steady for me. I walked down to the water's edge and stepped onto the wooden planks.

Just then Alaric's head whipped to the side and he hissed. It was an incredibly threatening sound. My heart raced and I trembled, even though he was clearly not directing his anger at me.

"He's near," Alaric growled. "Hold on."

I lay down on the raft and gripped the edges. He pushed my little vessel out into the waves. When it was too deep for him to walk anymore he swam, gradually increasing his speed until the wind was blowing against me, the waves sprayed into my face. The sky was turning pink and purple behind us. The sun had just set.

"We don't have long, but I must explain this to you now. I believe the only option at this point is for me to erase your memory."

"No!"

"Please, be silent Alice. He may soon be able to hear us. And that is the crux of the situation. If you are unable to remain silent during the transformation, erasing your memory is the only alternative. That way you will be immobilized and anesthetized during the procedure. If I'm unable to stall this young one long enough… If he were to hear you he could find you easily. And, even though scent does not travel well on water, sound is another matter."

"I'll be quiet. I won't make any noise," I whispered, urgently. "Just, please don't take away my memories."

He stopped paddling and hopped up onto the raft next to me.

"You don't know what it is you're getting yourself into, Alice. It may not be possible for you to remain silent. This level of pain… it's unlike anything you've ever experienced before."

"Let's just try then. Please?"

He sighed heavily. When he spoke again his voice was dark. "We can try. But if you make a sound I will have to do what is necessary to keep you alive."

Moisture was starting to build in my eyes again. It was almost time. I could feel it.

"If I must go to that extreme, I promise to leave as much of your memory as possible. And, if I am able to, I will find you when this is over and tell you anything you wish to know."

"If?"

His eyes flashed up, scanning the distant shore. Then he grabbed my shoulders and lay me down on the wood. He loosened some ends of the rope and began tying me down to the raft.

"If I'm not able to come to you, you must rely on your visions to guide you. Remember that, if you can. Follow your visions, let them guide you along safe paths."

"My visions? But, Alaric…"

"When this is over your mind will be healed. Your brain has suffered injury during your procedures at the asylum. But vampire venom heals all injuries. You will see your visions again, Alice, better than before."

I almost felt like I would cry, hearing this news. It almost made this whole mess worthwhile.

Alaric had tied me to the raft at my wrists, my torso, and my ankles. Now he leaned over me.

"This is your last chance to change your mind, Alice."

"Go ahead, I'll be quiet," I promised.

He looked very sad. He rested his palm against my cheek for a moment and it looked as though he would be crying if that were possible.

"When this is over, I believe you will not remember me at all. And I also believe that this is the last time I will ever see you. So, for this one moment, I want you to know something. You should know that you've touched an ancient, stone-cold heart and made it come alive in impossible ways. I love you, Alice. And I'm sorry… for everything that you've been through because of me."

I was so stunned that I couldn't speak for a moment. I wanted to say so many things at once that they all jammed together in my mind and none of them came out. I wanted to say that I certainly would remember him, because I was going to keep quiet and he wouldn't have to erase my memory. I wanted to say that he had better not go off and die fighting to protect me. I wanted to say that none of this was his fault. It was my own fault for not taking his offer when he wanted to help me escape in the first place. And, most of all, I wanted to say… to tell him that I also loved him.

But before any of those things could finally escape my lips, Alaric pushed my chin aside, exposing my throat. He leaned in and I felt his icy teeth grazing against my neck. I caught one strong whiff of his delicious spicy scent and then I felt a sharp jab of pain.

I gasped but then clamped my lips. I couldn't make a sound; I had to remember that.

It felt as though someone had stuck me with a branding iron. I could see what he meant about the pain.

It burned terribly. And he was still at my throat. The pain started to spread up my neck, growing even stronger. I stifled a moan and writhed against my restraints.

Alaric finally released my throat. It felt sort of like he licked the skin there, but the burning pain there made me unsure of that. And it was growing stronger.

I writhed more, forcing my mouth shut and willing myself to stay silent. It almost felt like my skin was on fire, and it was spreading further. My neck, my head, and down into my torso were all blazing, as hot as an iron, as hot as a stove, and spreading further.

The pain spiked and I couldn't contain it any longer. I screamed in agony.

The fire was growing even hotter. Hotter than anything I could think of. I couldn't think. My mind was entirely consumed with pain. There wasn't room for anything else.

"Kill me! Please, kill me!" My eyes were open, I thought, but I couldn't see past the pain. It was spreading down into my legs now. Like I was being burned alive.

I was sort of aware when my head was immobilized. A tiny fraction of my mind remembered that Alaric was with me and could do something about the pain.

Then the pain receded a little. I could think a little clearer. Alaric was with me. I wasn't able to keep silent so was going to erase my memory. No! I'd failed!

The pain receded a little more. I felt sort of drowsy. I could see him now, leaning over me. His hands were on either side of my face. I remembered what he'd said just before he bit me. He was going to go sacrifice himself as a diversion to keep me alive.

"Don't go," I whispered, pleading. "Don't let him kill you, please. I love you, too."

"I'm sorry, Alice," he whispered back, almost choking on the words.

I felt a heavy wave of lethargy wash over me. I fought it. I didn't want to forget. Alaric was going to go fight to keep me alive and probably get himself killed. I didn't know what I could do to change that but I wasn't about to just give up without a fight.

Another wave of lethargy crashed over me. I was in an agony of sorrow. But I felt almost disembodied. It was hard to concentrate on anything. The sensation grew stronger. I couldn't quite recall what was going on. I knew that Alaric was changing me into a vampire and he was doing something to ease the pain. And I knew I was very sad about something. I didn't seem to be in much pain at the moment but I remembered it. I certainly hoped that whatever he was going to do to keep me from being in pain again would work.

And then I was drifting. I couldn't tell what was up or down, if it was dark or light, if I was warm or cold... I was frightened, and sad... very, very sad...


	37. Maria

**November, 1956**

It was a cold autumn night. Jasper was lounging on the living room couch reading a book on early modern medievalism. I thought the book was rather dull, but it interested him so I was making some effort to let him enjoy it, even though there were so many other things I'd rather be doing. I leaned against the back of the couch resting my chin on my arms with my cheek grazing against his, reading along with him.

He was making slower progress than I, so when I got to the end of the page I flitted slightly forward to the future in my vision and read ahead of him. The minutes ticked by in silence.

When I was about fifteen pages ahead of Jasper, Edward came downstairs and went into the next room to play the piano. He was composing a piece for Carlisle and Esme, a gift for their upcoming anniversary, but was having some trouble with the bridge.

Do you want me to just tell you how it will turn out? I offered, shifting my vision to his immediate future to see his reaction. He frowned and shook his head; I guessed he wanted to go about it the hard way.

I sighed softly and went back to reading the boring book with Jasper. Time dragged on.

Carlisle and Esme were away on a hunting trip, which is why Edward was taking this opportunity to work out the kinks in their song. Emmett and Rose were off having some "alone time" five miles away in a house that Esme recently constructed for them. Their "alone time" would do significant damage to the structure. So far Esme had generously built or renovated fifteen houses for their own private enjoyment; and every one of them had been demolished by the sweethearts' violent lovemaking. Carlisle would soon put a stop to the endless cycle.

We'd moved up to Calgary, Alberta after only six years in Astoria. Carlisle said that since Jasper and I had lived so close during the year prior joining them, it would be better to leave that area a little sooner than usual to avoid risking local suspicion.

I was thrilled that we were living in Calgary, though. We were only two hundred and fifty miles southeast of Jasper National Park. Whenever we had the opportunity Jasper and I would run up to our waterfalls and hot springs together to re-live our honeymoon, over and over again. In fact, that sounded like a fabulous idea right now.

I sighed softly again and flipped further ahead to read the final page of the book. Jasper still had about a hundred pages to go.

I reached up and shyly twirled a lock of his wavy golden hair between my fingers. He stilled beneath my touch for an instant, and then continued reading. It seemed I could distract him from his book… easily. But Edward was in the other room playing the same segment of music over and over again in slightly different ways each time. Jasper would never consent to what I had in mind if our mind-reading brother was within a five-mile radius of us.

_Maybe Edward could just decide to leave…?_ I hinted, watching Edward's immediate future in the next room to see his reaction.

He scowled and stubbornly continued working on his composition. I knew what he was trying to tell me. If we wanted privacy there was the whole world right outside the door and we were welcome to go avail ourselves of it whenever we chose.

I frowned. But then I grinned mischievously, rising to the challenge, and combed my fingers through Jaspers hair, caressing his scalp with my fingertips. He turned his head and looked at me curiously from the corner of his eye, smiling when he saw my smug grin. I could feel how easily I was distracting him. I leaned in to kiss his cheek softly, and then his lips. We didn't have to go out to the park. There were so many things we could do… right here. I let my mind wander over some of the more adventurous ideas I'd come up with recently, visualizing just enough detail to completely repulse the begrudging eavesdropper in the next room.

"Ugh! Okay! I'll go!" Edward hollered. He rose from the piano bench and stormed out into the night. I laughed, congratulating myself on my victory.

The moment he was out the door Jasper reached up and caught me around the waist, flipping me over the couch and into his lap.

"You are a wicked little thing, aren't you?" he murmured between kisses. He'd known all along what I was up to, of course.

"You're only now discovering that?" I asked, playfully.

He chuckled and rolled on top of me, sliding his hands under my blouse. I sighed as his capable fingers stroked my sensitive skin and his lips explored my throat.

I was about to stop him so I could suggest one of my adventurous ideas when suddenly…

Our family was assembled on the front lawn. The atmosphere was tense, every one of us positioned defensively, eyeing the woods surrounding the house as if waiting for an attack from some enemy.

And then they came. Eight graceful figures emerged from the trees, red-eyed and wild. They all looked to have been Hispanic in their human lives. I recognized the leader; I'd seen her in my visions of Jasper a long time ago. She was small, dark-haired and very youthful-looking. She looked at Jasper and a greedy, victorious smile spread across her face.

"Alice?" Jasper's worried voice sounded hollow and distant.

I blinked hard, snapping out of it. Edward was back, staring at me with a look of half-terrified confusion.

"What does it mean?" Edward asked. He must not have been out of range yet when the vision overtook me.

"What did you see?" Jasper demanded.

"She's coming here," I gasped.

"Who?" Jasper and Edward demanded, in unison.

"Maria," I breathed.

Jasper froze, his alabaster skin paling even further. Edward's eyes flashed to him, taking in the significance that name held for him. After a brief moment his eyes widened and his mouth fell open.

"She's coming here?" Jasper choked out.

"Yes."

"When? Why?"

"Three days. I… I'm not sure why." I shifted back into the vision, trying to hear any bits of conversation I might make out. "I think she wants you back."

"That's not going to happen," he growled.

"Who are the others?" Edward asked.

"Others?!" Jasper demanded.

"I don't know." I shook my head. "There are seven others coming with her," I explained to Jasper. Immediately his face transformed into a fierce, deadly expression. A growl rumbled in his chest.

"They all look to be near or over their year mark," Edward added, perhaps trying to calm Jasper.

"We need numbers," Jasper murmured, the deadly expression on his face hadn't faded one bit. "Perhaps we can contact Peter and Charlotte. If we act now we can choose our battleground, gain an advantage…"

"Wait… Jasper," Edward interrupted.

Jasper's eyes flashed between Edward and me, burning with intensity.

"I think we had better wait until Carlisle returns. These decisions are really his to make." His voice was gentle but firm.

The growl started rumbling in Jasper's chest again and he glared at Edward for a long moment.

"I understand that, Jasper. But there was no sign in the vision that they intended to start any violence. And we do have three days' warning. There is still time to discuss this together."

There was another long moment of silence while they gazed at one another. Jasper pulled me tighter into his side.

"Yes," Edward said, nodding. "If it comes to that then I suppose you will just have to do what you must."

The three of us waited, mostly in stressed silence, for the next several hours. I scanned the future, trying to figure out what Maria was up to. I hadn't been watching her at all since Jasper left that world behind, years ago. But it looked like she'd killed off her entire army and created a new one. The seven she had with her were all new faces. I concentrated on their immediate future. They were all speaking in Spanish. I didn't understand much Spanish at all. I knew how to say a few words, but that was about it.

"They're tracking his scent," Edward murmured.

Jasper and I looked up at him.

"You may not understand Spanish, Alice, but I do," He half smiled, but the expression didn't quite reach his eyes. "Keep watching and I'll let you know what's going on."

So I kept watching. Jasper wrapped his arm around me, rubbing my shoulder and gazing into my face. Now and then Edward asked me to go back or scan forward. I watched as Maria and her entourage moved from building to building, always at night, searching for traces of Jasper's scent. They were heading north into Canada and would soon find our trail.

The sound of Carlisle and Esme's approach finally distracted us. They entered the living room and were immediately alerted by the tense atmosphere.

"What is the matter?" Carlisle asked while Esme's eyes worriedly flashed to each of our faces.

Edward rushed through an explanation while Jasper and I remained silent.

Carlisle was quiet for a long moment after Edward finished. Then he nodded to himself.

"Esme, darling, please go bring Rosalie and Emmett. We will meet in the dining room and discuss this as a family."

Esme's eyes were still wide with worry. She nodded and touched Carlisle on the arm before rushing out to find the happy couple. The rest of us made our way into the dining room and sat around the large oval oak table.

Jasper held my hand, stroking his thumb along my knuckles soothingly. I kept scanning ahead, trying to see if I could learn anything that might be helpful.

We soon heard the approach of our last few family members. And then Esme, Emmett, and Rosalie entered the room and took their places at the table with us. Emmett and Rosalie looked more curious than worried, but I was sure Esme had filled them in on the way.

"Now that we're all here," Carlisle spoke, taking control. "Please, Alice, tell us all what you saw."

I took a deep breath. "The female, Maria, who created Jasper, is going to be paying us a visit in about three days. Accompanying her will be seven others, two females and four males. All of them look like they are near or past their first year. They will arrive here at night. It will be a cloudy night so I can't tell by the stars exactly what time they will arrive. But it will be very dark, not near morning or dusk. I'm finding it very difficult to tell what will happen when they get here. But the one thing that is certain is that she is coming for Jasper. She wants him to return with her to the south."

Carlisle waited for a moment, considering all the new little details I'd provided while allowing Emmett and Rose to absorb the information.

"Are they looking for a fight?" Emmett asked, grinning stupidly.

I shook my head in frustration, rubbing my temples with my fingertips. "It doesn't seem like that's what Maria wants. But I just can't be sure. It's like there's a decision that hasn't been made yet."

"Her entourage is probably just for her personal protection," Jasper offered. "Maria would never go anywhere alone. There are too many others seeking her life. But, still, they are dangerous. Their newborn strength is beginning to wane, and they are beginning to gain some self control, but for the most part they are still newborns." He'd wrapped his arm around me again, holding me tightly, protectively.

Emmet's grin widened. He was excited for a little action. Rosalie just looked up at him, worried and irritated with is nonchalance. Esme's eyes widened and she placed her hand over her throat. Edward's face was hard and grim. Carlisle just took in the information with calm acceptance.

"They will be experienced fighters," Jasper continued. "If it turns into a fight," his eyes flashed to me. "Then I'm afraid there may be a high cost. I recommend we call in assistance, whomever of our friends that we can contact and are able and willing to come."

Carlisle regarded Jasper for a long moment. Then he looked at me.

"Alice, are you able to see what will happen if we call our friends?"

I concentrated, filtering through the thousands of possibilities presenting themselves. With Carlisle open to the option of calling reinforcements I was able to see, but it didn't look promising.

"It looks more likely to turn into a fight if we do call for help. The young ones are nervous and short-tempered. If they sense that we're preparing to mount an attack they'll jump into the offensive."

Carlisle nodded, thoughtfully, and Jasper's eyes narrowed.

"I appreciate your advice and respect your opinion, Jasper," Carlisle said. "But in this instance I believe it is best to listen to your wife."

Jasper nodded, stiffly. "I wouldn't have it any other way," he said. But he was clearly unhappy with the outcome. We would be outnumbered.

"Can we run?" Esme asked breathlessly.

"We could try." He shrugged. "But I know Maria. Once she gets an idea in her head, it's near impossible to convince her otherwise. I'm sure she will keep coming for me for a very, very long time." He frowned and lowered his eyes, as if ashamed.

"Aside from calling our friends, what would you recommend we do, Jasper?" Carlisle asked.

"We should hunt, to be at the peak of our strength. And starting tomorrow we should all remain close to the house. Should they arrive earlier than expected we would not want to be caught separated."

Carlisle nodded.

"And when they do arrive, try not to make any moves that may be interpreted as aggressive. Don't do or say anything that might anger the young ones, either. Newborns have very short tempers. I don't know what Maria is thinking, so let me speak to her first, but after that I suppose we'll have to play it by ear."

Everyone thought that was a wise plan of action. But, really, who would have argued with Jasper's century of experience in that world?

The conference ended, but the atmosphere was still highly stressed. We all sat in the dining room in silence for a while. The only one who seemed to be at ease was Emmett. He was excited, hoping it would turn into a fight. I wanted to smack him upside the head.

One by one our family members left the room. When it was finally just the two of us, Jasper looked down at me with sad eyes and took my hand.

I saw what he was about to suggest, so I nodded and rose with him. We rushed out into the snowy night and sprinted northwest, heading toward our own private oasis of peace in the mountains.

It took a few hours to get there, though we ran swiftly. While we were running our future seemed to be shifting around, fuzzy and indistinct, the way it looked when Jasper was being indecisive about something. He was only ever this indecisive when he was trying to keep something a secret from me. I frowned.

We flew over the peak of the eastern mountain, raced down to the top of the waterfalls and stopped, looking down into the white boiling river.

We stood there in silence for several minutes. I wanted to ask him to tell me what he was thinking.

"Jasper…"

He turned to look at me and his eyes were burning with such intensity that the words caught in my throat. He closed the space between us and his mouth was on mine in an instant, urgent, needful. I groaned and reached up, twining my fingers in his hair, completely forgetting whatever it was I had been about to ask him.

Dawn was just breaking in the east. Jasper and I were entwined in an intimate embrace in the hot, steaming water of the smallest natural spring. Jasper gazed deeply into my eyes, stroking my cheek with his thumb. I was so relaxed and euphoric I was practically floating.

"Alice…" Jasper murmured.

"Yes?"

"I want you to stay here for the next few days… please."

Ire and indignation instantly exploded in my chest. Jasper's brow furrowed and he frowned in response.

"Please, Alice. I can't bear the thought of you there when she arrives. I can't bear to have you in danger."

My mood softened at his words. He was worried for me, my overprotective fool.

"I can take care of myself, Jazz. You know that."

"Yes, I now that, Alice. But I cannot allow you to be in danger. I just can't."

His expression was pained, desperate. I wrapped my arms around him, pressing the length of my body against his, listening to his breath moving in and out of his lungs.

"And do you think I can just stay here by myself and let you face her without me? Jasper, I love you far too much for that. No, I'm staying with you."

He tightened his arms around me; burying his face in my short, damp hair.

"Alice," he groaned. "I can't. I just can't bear to have her anywhere near you."

"Perhaps a compromise?" I offered, looking up into his honey-gold eyes.

He waited, listening.

"I'll be there, but waiting out of sight, perhaps in the house?"

"I don't like it."

"Of course not." I frowned. "But that's the best offer you're going to get. So take it or leave it."

His eyes narrowed and he clenched his teeth. "Very well, then."

I touched his face, running my index finger over his lips, which parted slightly.

"Please don't be angry with me. It's the only way. We have to be together, you must understand that."

"Of course I do, Alice. If you stayed here, it would feel like ripping myself in half to leave you. But it will feel worse, so much worse, if anything were to happen to you because of me."

"If I stayed behind and anything were to happen to you, I could never forgive myself," I told him.

He closed his eyes in acquiescence. It seemed we were at an impasse. So I just stretched up to kiss him softly, reassuringly.

"Together," I insisted, against his lips.

"Together," he agreed.

We stayed in our little paradise until sunset. When dusk fell we raced back to the house to rejoin the others. Jasper was still very worried, but he held my hand tightly the whole way.

Everyone was waiting for us in the living room, and breathed a sigh of relief when we finally arrived.

"Anything new?" Carlisle asked me as soon as we entered.

I focused hard on our future, closing my eyes and rubbing my temples. I still saw the family waiting out on the lawn at night, posed in varying defensive stances. The only difference was that I would be in the house when this happened. I frowned slightly at the vision. The eight southern vampires stalked toward us through the dense trees, Maria in a calm, self-assured gait; her seven escorts crouched low, eyes bright red, teeth bared.

"It's the same," I answered. "Unless something changes they'll be here in about two and a half days."

"Everyone, stay close to the house. Alice, please keep us informed, let us know if you see any change."

Everyone nodded. I closed my eyes again, rubbing my temples and concentrating, skimming back and forth and back again in time, watching Maria and her not-so-newborn entourage, hoping I could find something new or helpful. I felt Jasper take my arm and lead me somewhere. He gently lowered me onto the couch and sat next to me, wrapping his arm around me and rubbing my shoulder, sending a steady stream of calm throughout my body. I relaxed a bit, comforted by his touch and by his gift.

We stayed there, sitting on the couch for a very long time. I was almost completely unaware of my surroundings. Now and then I would catch the flash of a vision from my family; Emmett and Rosalie setting up a house of cards; Edward reorganizing his record collection, Carlisle coming into the living room to see if there was anything new and Jasper shaking his head in response. But my mind was almost entirely consumed by my visions. I watched as Maria and her groupies raced through the night, tracking the faint traces of Jasper's scent through Oregon and Washington. They crossed the border into Canada, but the sun was rising again and the southerners, especially the young ones, weren't comfortable with staying outside in daylight, even when it was overcast.

The day dragged on, painfully slow. The southerners hid in a dark cave until sunset, talking to one another in Spanish. It irritated me to no end that I couldn't understand what they were saying. Then the day darkened and they crept back outside, racing north once more. Jasper's scent was growing stronger the closer they came to Calgary. They were getting excited, running faster. Maria called out to the young ones and they fell back, following behind her like a pack of wolves.

I could tell the time was coming closer. My visions were getting clearer and clearer as they approached. They would be here in mere minutes; I could see the vision with crystal clarity now.

"They're coming," I whispered, eyes still unfocused, watching their approach.

Instantly the entire family rushed into the living room, I heard them assemble around me expectantly.

"They'll be here in two minutes. Go quickly!" I breathed.

There was a moment of hesitation.

"She's staying inside," Edward murmured to the others. "Let's go."

There was another slight moment of hesitation, and then they all left, assembling on the lawn, just as I had seen in my vision, leaving me alone in the living room.

With my eyes closed, sitting on the couch, I could see my family perfectly. Jasper was taking the point, with Emmett slightly behind him and to his right, Edward to his left. Carlisle was next to Edward, and Rosalie and Esme were in the protected pocket of space behind them all.

They watched the trees, shifting slightly back and forth, not sure where they would be coming from. I skipped ahead to see, they would arrive from the east, following Jasper's most recent trail in.

"From the east," Edward spoke. Of course he would be watching my visions with me. Everyone turned to face the proper direction.

I felt like I would explode with frustration and fear. It felt so wrong having Jasper out there on the front lines while I was hiding inside. But this was our compromise, and I did understand his point of view. If it were up to me I would have locked him away in our mountain retreat and faced Maria and her young vampires all on my own, even if it meant that I would have to fight them off by myself, even if I had to rip them all to pieces and burn them to ashes to protect him.

Another thought suddenly dawned on me. Could I fight them off?

In my sparring matches with Jasper he'd never been able to touch me. And every time he let me attack him it took nearly no time at all for me to win. Jasper was one of the most skilled warriors in the vampire world. If I could beat him, surely I could win against young and relatively unskilled fighters.

But in all of our sparring matches, it had always been only for fun. I had never tried to kill one of my own kind before, ever. It was one thing to tackle Jasper, planting a victorious kiss on his scarred throat, and tumbling into a glorious romantic embrace. It was another thing entirely to sink my diamond-hard and razor-sharp teeth into an enemy, rending his head from his shoulders and ripping his body into shreds with my bare hands.

I shuddered slightly at the thought.

And then they came. From the thick trees eight deadly, graceful figures appeared. Maria was out front; her slight, youthful form was in contrast to the large, well-muscled forms of her escorts. She saw jasper and a greedy, victorious smile lit up her face. Her companions were spaced evenly, flanking her in a military-style formation.

Maria's eyes were wary, she eyed the group surrounding Jasper speculatively. I suspected that everyone's golden eyes confused her. She couldn't be surprised by our numbers, though; she had to have noticed the seven distinct vampire scents while they were tracking us here.

Maria and her followers stopped when they entered the lawn. There was a moment of silence as the two groups sized each other up. I felt a wave of calm wash over me and I knew that Jasper was using his gift to help defuse the situation.

"Maria," he murmured, bowing slightly in formality. "Why have you come here?"

"Jasper." She cocked her head coyly. "You abandoned us so suddenly. I believe you are the one who must explain yourself."

"I left you because you were planning to turn on me. And I would rather be on my own than be forced to kill you."

Behind her the young ones hissed angrily. They didn't like what Jasper was implying, that he could unquestionably and easily kill their leader.

"You're right, Jasper. Of course, you are usually right about things of that nature aren't you?"

"After I saved you from Nettie and Lucy, after I helped you to destroy them, how could you choose to turn on me?" His voice was slightly pained.

"I was jealous, Jasper. You knew that. I believed that it was my own greatness delivering so many victories to our cause. Yes, I wanted to kill you. But I was wrong, Jasper! I see that now. Without you, we have nothing. We need you, Jasper."

"I don't want to go back with you, Maria. I was never more than a tool for you to use. Here I have a family that cares for me, and I for them. There is no war up here in the north, Maria. No one builds armies or launches attack to gain territory. You can leave that world of greed and vendetta behind, if you chose to."

Her eyes went as hard as flint. "Andrés took Monterrey, Jasper. Don't you remember how hard we fought to gain that territory? Don't you remember how glorious it felt when we were victorious? We were the most powerful vampires on this side of the world, feeding five times a day, ten times a day if we wished. No one could touch us! You want to leave all that behind? Impossible! Come with me, my old friend. Come and we will reclaim what is rightfully ours."

There was a long silence. The male that was standing behind and to the right of Maria glanced at one of his companions. They exchanged a meaningful look and suddenly the future shifted. I saw with perfect clarity what would happen next.

Jasper would refuse to go with her. And Maria's bodyguards would turn on her. She'd promised them a great General, a leader who would bring them into decadent prosperity. But she was not delivering on her promise, so they would take her down.

Even though Jasper felt no particular affection for Maria, he wouldn't stand by and let her be assassinated. He would jump into the fight, trying to protect her. And then the young ones would attack him, also.

This vision took less than a second for me to process. I felt a surge of some mysterious energy swell in my chest. My arms and legs tingled as though charged with electricity. I clenched my fists at my side, my eyes popped wide, but I was not seeing the room around me in the present. Instinctively I was watching the window of time from a thousandth of a second to five seconds in the future.

Jasper opened his mouth to answer her.

"No," he said, gently and calmly, but with finality.

_NO!_ I screamed in my head.

Edward was turning towards the house. I wasn't sure if he was going to try to stop me or help me, because he wouldn't get the chance to do either.

I launched myself through the wall, like a wrecking ball, and streaked toward my first target. He'd turned on Maria, all right. But he barely had a chance to even move in her direction. I caught him around the head and savagely ripped it off tossing it into the trees.

The others were so shocked that they didn't act right away. That gave me time to break the now-headless body in half before launching at my next target.

Jasper saw what was happening. He was moving toward the fight, furious and terrified at the same time. But I was focused on the task at hand.

I dispatched my next enemy with ease, her wrecked body went sailing through the air and, unfortunately, collided with the house, tearing through four walls as if they were made of paper and landing on the far side. One of the males chased after the body I'd just tossed. I launched at him and we collided in the house with a thunderous boom. I ripped him limb from limb. When I was certain that he was sufficiently dismantled I hurled myself out of the house, if it even could be called a house anymore. There was only one enemy left.

"Stop, Alice!"

It was the only voice that could reach me in the wild state I was in. I froze and Jasper approached me slowly, putting his hands on my shoulders, looking into my eyes.

"Come back to me, Alice," he pled, shaking me slightly.

I blinked and refocused, coming back to the present. I realized that I was glaring balefully, teeth bared at a terrified Maria. The other four young ones were already taken care of, obviously by Emmett and Jasper.

For an instant I panicked. Had they hurt him? I quickly looked over Jasper's form, and relaxed when I saw that he was undamaged.

Now that I was back in the present I noticed that everyone was staring, wide-eyed and open-mouthed at me. I looked at them all in turn; feeling a little surprised at myself as a matter of fact, and said the only thing that really seemed appropriate at the time.

"I'm really sorry about the house, Esme." I smiled apologetically.

Just then there was a loud crackling groaning of heavy wood under too much stress; a few large pops and snaps; and then our house came crashing down in a giant cloud of dust behind us.


	38. Justice

******Author's Note: Just so none of you are confused at first: this chapter is written in Alaric's point of view. Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>September, 1920<strong>

Thick, rich, living blood pumped hot and wet into my mouth. The sensation was indescribably beautiful. I swallowed deeply and concentrated, trying to resist the instinct that drove me to continue drinking, gorging myself until there was nothing left.

It was a great challenge to release the throat at my lips and pull away, but somehow I managed it. A stream of blood spurted from the wound, wasting onto the steel embalming table and trickling into the gutter.

I returned for another attempt, drinking in delicious gulps of fresh blood only to tear myself away after a few seconds. I was practicing, only it felt more like torture.

I was breaking the rules. Not the rules laid out for my kind by the Italians, nor even the rules set forth by my human employer. I was breaking Carbo's rules, my own rules. I was taking a life, and not for the last time.

The elderly man on my table was suffering from a deadly case of pneumonia. His lungs were almost completely filled with fluid and every breath he took was agonizing. If I hadn't gotten to him he would be dead in a matter of hours anyway. Doctor Gorton had known this, as well. He'd told me to do whatever I could to "ease this man's passage" as he put it. We had several patient fatalities in the past few days and needed to ship their bodies to their families. It would be cheaper for the asylum to ship them all at once than to wait for the dying to die and send them in a separate shipment. And Doctor Gorton always looked after his own welfare before the welfare of his patients. Admittedly that was one of the reasons I'd chosen to work under him. I'd known there would be many deaths, an abundance of blood to satisfy my thirst. But actively taking a life was never a light decision for me.

I would be taking two more lives before the day was over. However, I looked forward to those killings with eager anticipation.

I released the man again, panting in the effort that small act required. His blood was weakening; he was nearly gone. The man lay motionless on the cold steel slab, his breathing shallow, his eyes closed peacefully. I fervently hoped this meant he was not in any pain. I'd wiped his mind clean before bringing him to this room. If I abandoned him now he would be asleep for a very long time. And then when he woke he would remember nothing, not how to speak, nor eat, not able to recognize anything he saw, nor even be able to distinguish himself from his surroundings. He would know even less about the world than a newborn baby. He would also be a vampire.

Even now I heard his heart picking up pace, beginning the transformation.

I returned to his throat again, gulping down the last of his blood. His heart stopped. He was deceased.

I licked the wound at his throat, sealing it closed with venom, and then began preparing his body for shipment.

Vampire venom makes a superior embalming fluid. This man's body would look and smell much better than the others, which I treated in the usual way: draining their blood into buckets before replacing it with formaldehyde, methanol, and ethanol.

I placed the four bodies in simple pine caskets and loaded them into the hearse. I was supposed to be taking the next two days to personally escort the bodies to their families. But, instead I'd hired others to do the job. I had my alibi, which was all that was needed.

I hopped into the hearse and drove out into the night. It was very early in the morning when I arrived at the nearly empty train station. I met my contact, a young man of about seventeen, and went over the paperwork with him. He seemed a bit inexperienced but everything was in order for him. Each of the caskets was marked and the addresses of the families were clearly written in the paperwork. There should be no problem. I paid the man handsomely and left, hastening back to the asylum before the sun could rise.

When I returned I had to remain well hidden. None of the other staff could be aware of my presence amongst them. I was supposed to be away and everyone knew it.

First I glided down the lower corridor in the east wing, to a room that had become very familiar to me in the past three years. I peeked into the narrow, barred window of room one-nineteen.

The girl was in her bed, curled in a ball under her blankets. She tossed and whimpered in her sleep. I didn't want to imagine what nightmares haunted her this night. This would be the last night her heart beat, her last chance to sleep and dream. Tomorrow she would be one of us or…

I shook my head. It hurt to think such thoughts. If she didn't choose to accept my offer… how could I continue to exist when I had failed to protect her? My whole existence would be a nightmare of a nature that would put whatever monsters roamed now in her head to shame.

I gazed at her for a moment longer, then moved stealthily downstairs into the morgue. I grabbed a large leather satchel, filling it with glass bottles of flammable chemicals, two pistols, and a lighter. One of the pistols was legally purchased and registered to Doctor Gorton; the other was stolen.

Now I simply needed to hide and wait for my opportunity.

I would have chosen to act sooner, I needed time to free the girl, after all, but the doctor had a meeting scheduled for three thirty in the afternoon. I happened to know that the man he intended to meet with was Mr. Matranga. And I desperately wanted to catch them together, alone.

I hid in the shadows, moving quickly through the halls when they were empty. I paused once in front of the girl's door again and peeked in. She was sitting on her bed, deep in thought. It seemed that she never read her books anymore. I wondered if perhaps that was a symptom of the damage the shock therapy and drugs were doing to her mind. Or perhaps it was a symptom of depression.

She shuddered once. In response to something she was thinking? Or was she cold?

I didn't dare knock and enter her room, though I would have liked to. I had a mission to complete first and the girl had a way of distracting me.

I rushed down the hall as swiftly as I could and hid. I waited motionless and silent in the deep shadow in the corner beneath the stairs. After an hour Doctor Gorton entered the building. He bid a gruff good-morning to a passing nurse and went into his office.

I waited and listened. There was still one more fly that must land in my web before I could act.

The doctor made a few phone calls. He was speaking to his lawyers. The asylum was up for audit and the doctor was very concerned about the recent streak of fatalities among his staff and patients. It was nearly noon when he received a phone call that would greatly disappoint me.

"Ah, Matranga!" he answered into the receiver, feigning a pleasant demeanor. My fist clenched involuntarily. "Yes, of course we can re-schedule… Wednesday will be satisfactory, the same time as usual. I'll be sure to have a bottle of Hennessey and a box of Cubans ready… Yes, of course… I will see you then." He hung up.

So… Matranga would not be here today. I clenched my teeth in frustration. I had so wanted to end that man, to make him pay for every bit of suffering he'd caused in that poor girl's life, to prevent him from polluting the world any further with his existence. Wednesday would be too late. There was no helping it.

I rose and stalked out of the shadows, heading straight for the doctor's office. I opened the door without knocking and entered. Doctor Gorton looked up in surprise when he saw me.

"What the devil are you doing here?" he demanded. "Weren't you supposed to be escorting those patients back to their families?"

"They will make it back safely. I have business here that needs to be attended to." My voice was quiet as I thought over my next actions. Things had changed. I would not need both pistols anymore. Perhaps I wouldn't need either. And I wanted to make sure this man knew the motives behind my actions. He needed to know why.

"Well, I suppose that will have to do, then. If you have the time, please assist Nancy in the library with organizing the patient files. We must have everything in perfect order when the auditor arrives, damn them."

I cocked my head slightly at the request. "You're concerned about the auditor finding your asylum lacking. Things seem to have gone downhill in the past few weeks, haven't they? I wonder at your surprise, though."

"Of course I'm concerned. First a mysterious representative from some non-existent hospital abducts six of our patients and we can't find any trace of them. And then our staff and patients start disappearing, only to show up as butchered carcasses, and we can't track down the damned beast responsible. And four patient fatalities in the past three days! I wouldn't be surprised if they shut us down, Dwight." He shook his head, despondent.

"But, Doctor, surely you know," I reached behind myself and locked the door, his eyes widened slightly in surprise. "If you make a deal with the Devil, all Hell will break loose. And yet… you don't even recognize it when it walks through your door and stands before you."

His heart started pounding faster. My mouth watered in anticipation.

"What are you talking about?" he stammered, backing away from me. He was looking into my face, into my deep red eyes. I smiled at him, showing my glistening venom-coated teeth. He should be afraid. How afraid was the girl when he strapped her to his table and injected her with poisons, nearly killing her?

"You made a deal with Matranga, Doctor. Don't insult me by pretending otherwise. You took in a patient, not with the intention of curing her, but with the intention of helping a known criminal enslave her. You took her from her family; you locked her in a cell; you drugged her and electrocuted her; you nearly killed her. You would have if I hadn't intervened."

He had his back to the wall now, trembling in fear. But he tried to regain his courage.

"You? Interfering with my patients without permission?"

"Silence, fool!" I spat at him. He still didn't know how much I knew, or what I intended to do.

"When you drugged her that first time, how easily did Matranga convince you to leave her alone with him? Did he pay you more for the benefit of deflowering a helpless, innocent, dying girl? Surely you knew that is what he intended to do with her. He couldn't exert his will over her mind, so he would have his way with her body!"

The doctor was a broken man, now. His back pressed into the wall, trembling and cowering in fear as I stepped closer. Vengeance had come for him. He could feel it.

"My one regret," I growled. "Is that I am not going to be able to exact retribution on Matranga. I would have loved to rip his heart out of his chest and drink his blood for what he's done. But perhaps his time is yet to come." I smiled hopefully and set my bag on the desktop.

"What are you going to do to me?" The doctor whimpered.

"I'm going to kill you," I answered darkly, smiling in anticipation.

His heart stuttered, then picked up again in double-time. I could smell the adrenaline pumping through his system. He shook his head but couldn't make any other response, paralyzed with fear.

My smile grew larger, baring my teeth. I crouched low, watching as his eyes widened in terror, sweat beading on his forehead.

I launched at him, streaking across the last few feet separating us, grasping his body and crunching my teeth into his throat in one swift motion. He started to yell, but it choked off with a gurgle before it was loud enough to alert anyone else.

The force of our impact knocked the bookshelf down from the back wall. It crashed over us; bottles of liquor shattered on the floor, soaking the books and carpet. That might have been loud enough to alert someone. I listened carefully for any sound of approach, but heard none.

I didn't erase the doctor's memory as I had the elderly patient I killed. I wanted him aware of his evil and aware of the burning pain that was my justice acted upon him.

I was truly not thirsty at all. But still, the act of drinking in his blood was compulsory. It had been so long since I'd hunted in the usual way. Dead, cold, congealed blood was nothing in comparison to this. If I survived, it would be difficult to go back to feeding on the dead.

All too soon his body was empty. I dropped the limp corpse to the floor and looked around. It seemed most of my work was already done.

The carpet was soaked with flammable fluid. The walls were made of brick, so a fire would be fairly well contained. There was even a lit pipe smoking with hot embers on his desk. I took the pipe and dropped it onto the carpet.

It didn't ignite the carpet, but it could have. I pulled the lighter out of my bag and set fire to the room. Waiting long enough to make sure that the doctor's venom-laced body was fully ablaze. Tossed the bottles of accelerant on top of the rubble, feeding the flames, and tossed the leather bag with the pistols into the corner. Let the humans make of that what they would.

I listened carefully to be certain that the antechamber was vacant. Then I stole out of the room, allowing the door to the office to remain slightly ajar. Thick smoke started seeping out from the crack. I rushed to the east wing hallway and scaled the wall, hiding in a dark corner of the ceiling, out of sight in the shadows.

I had to wait several minutes for one of the staff to notice the thick smoke billowing out of the office.

"Fire! Fire!" she yelled, and others came to her aid. They were scurrying about in a panic, not sure if they should fetch water or call the fire department. My distraction was working.

I crawled along the ceiling, down the hall to room one nineteen.

I felt very unsatisfied with my work. Yes, killing the doctor assuaged my sense of vengeance and justice a bit. But Matranga was the one I really wanted to get my hands on. After what he'd done to the girl, he would not have such an easy end as the doctor. If I did ever catch up with him, I would make him suffer greatly before delivering him of his life.

I approached her room. I heard her breathing and heartbeat near the door. She must be wondering what all the commotion was about.

I dropped to the floor and looked through the window, finding myself gazing into her warm hazel eyes.

"I'm coming in," I said, as calmly as I could manage. Any moment one of the humans might look down the corridor. And if they did, they might recognize me. My alibi would be ruined.

Fortunately she didn't argue, but stepped back allowing me to enter. Her heart was racing; she must be frightened. I longed to stay with her and comfort her, but we had little time. I reminded myself that it was for her safety that I must act quickly.

"We must go, now." I didn't wait for her response. I gently lifted her delicate frame in my arms – how fragile she felt! – and looked out the door, making certain that everyone was still distracted by the fire.

"Now?" the girl gasped.

"I'm not supposed to be here right now, and you're not supposed to be leaving. So it would be best if nobody saw us, wouldn't you agree?"

"Did you start a fire?"

Oh, how astute her mind was! Even though poisoned and burned nearly to the point of death she was so quick to see and understand. Still, I would rather her not know all that I had been up to during the last quarter hour.

"Yes," I answered, honestly. I hoped that she would not ask any more questions or I would be tempted to lie to her.

I saw my window of opportunity and took it. I walked swiftly down the hall, being careful to not accelerate too quickly and risk injuring the girl. I took her downstairs and around the building into the morgue where I'd stashed a large coil of rope.

She looked around the room; her eyes alight with curiosity. I hoped she wouldn't ask any questions about this place. I would have much rather taken her through the kitchen, but this was the only room I could guarantee would be empty.

"What is this place?" she asked.

Of course she did! And if I told her the truth, what would be next? "Please, Alaric, show me how you drain corpses of their blood?" Was there no end to her curiosity?

I kept my face averted to hide my grimace and told her as much of the truth as I could without going into details.

"This is where I do much of my work."

I gathered up the rope and slung it across my chest, then lifted her in my arms again – how warm she was! – and carried her outside.

"That was the morgue wasn't it?"

I should have expected as much.

"Yes," I answered, trying to keep the stress out of my voice.

She shuddered delicately in my arms but didn't ask any further questions. Thank Heaven! Since I'd met this girl she had done nothing but systematically peel away every mask I had in place to reveal the darkness beneath. I marveled that she could still stand to be near me.

The sun was descending, but still high enough that the eastern lawn was mostly illuminated. I paused at the edge of light and shadow to look into the windows. I had to be certain that no human, no matter how mad, was watching us when I took my next step.

"Is the building going to burn?" She sounded almost hopeful.

"It shouldn't. The fire was well contained in one room. It's only creating a lot of smoke."

She still hadn't asked me why I started the fire. I had a reasonable, and true, answer ready to give her should she ask: it was a diversion, to give us cover for our escape. That wasn't the whole truth, though, so it would still feel like lying. I vowed that I would tell her everything later… if I was able to.

She'd said she wanted to stay with me. The words hung like golden bells in my heart. She wanted to stay with me. This beautiful, gifted girl, so bright that even though she'd been thrown into the darkest pit imaginable she still shone like the morning star, wanted to be with me.

I almost dared to hope… But no, she'd called me her friend. And in this age it was possible for human females and males to be friends and nothing more.

And she still hadn't given me an answer.

No one was watching. I darted forward, into the sun. My mind was so distracted that I almost didn't notice the soft touch of her head on my shoulder.

I looked down, wondering if perhaps she was falling asleep, and noticed that she had her eyes screwed shut, cringing in pain.

I gasped. No! That soft touch must not have been so soft to her. I'd carelessly sprinted forward without taking into account her weak muscles and delicate flesh. I'd hurt her!

"Alice! Are you hurt? I'm terribly sorry!"

She didn't answer right away. I looked closely at the red mark on her head where a bruise was slowly blossoming; where the impact had occurred. She wasn't bleeding, but there could be internal damage. What if I'd ruptured a blood vessel in her brain? She would be dead before I could change her! No! Please! Please speak, Alice!

To my utter horror she groaned in pain.

"I think I'm okay." Even her words sounded like a groan. At least she was coherent, though. How hard had she hit me?

She lifted her eyes to mine and gasped softly with a dazed expression on her features.

"Are you sure I haven't hurt you?" It looked like I'd given her a concussion. I needed to get her talking so I could be sure she was not seriously harmed.

She stared at me for a moment longer, then blinked several times. "I'm okay, really. I've just never seen you in the sun before."

Oh. Of course. I didn't even notice the thousands of little rainbows scattered across her face before, distracted as I was with concern for her welfare. Her response to the phenomenon was reassuring. She gazed at my shining skin with wonder, but was not repulsed as I had expected her to be. She was still not frightened of me. She still wanted to be with me. I almost smiled - despite the danger we were in - when I replied to her.

"That's right. I'd forgotten. My mind is a bit preoccupied today. The effect is rather remarkable, isn't it?"

"It is," she answered. I looked into her beautiful hazel eyes, seeing my reflection in their fathomless pools, trying to make out the secrets they held. What did she truly see when she looked at me? A friend? A man? A monster? No, surely not that, or she would not dare to be in my presence.

He heart started beating faster and she looked away, breaking the connection. Perhaps her instincts still recognized the truth about me, even though she counted me as her 'friend'. On some level she still knew that I was a monster.

I ran southeast as swiftly as I dared, heading toward the ocean. I had a plan in place, but it hinged on two things. Alice must make the decision I wanted her to make. And that vile beast that was after her must keep his word.

During our last encounter, after he'd bested me in battle, the hunter told me that he had no intention of killing me. He wanted his sport. He would give me one full day to prepare the game for him, and then he would come for my 'little pet' as he called the girl. He was hoping I would challenge him. And I fully intended to.

For the first leg of our journey I ran along a wide dirt road, keeping in the sun. I knew this road well and the habits of the humans who used it, so I was not concerned about being caught by one of them in the sun; even if I was, I could simply pause long enough to erase a small portion of their memory, just enough to cover my tracks. If the hunter was like most others of our kind this might hinder him until dusk. He would be wary of venturing near enough the sunlight to follow our scent.

I took us into the protection of the trees before the wide dirt road joined the paved streets. It was cooler in the shade and the girl trembled in my arms. I chastised myself for not thinking to bring a blanket for her. But there was no help for it now. I held her closer, hoping to shield her slight body from the wind.

It was time. Before I could follow through with the next part of my plan it was essential to have her consent. What would I do if she refused? What was I capable of doing? Nothing! It would be the end. I would defend her with my life, but it wouldn't be enough.

Could I blame her, though, if she chose death over this existence? No, I couldn't. It was her choice to make, even if her choice felt like it would crush my cold, dead heart within my chest.

The sound of the waves and seagulls was growing louder. The beach was just over the next hill, only a quarter mile away.

"What are we doing?" she asked.

I slowed and lowered her to the ground in a small clearing where she could be in the sun.

"First you need to tell me what you've decided."

It was an effort to keep my voice even. What would it be? Had she considered the options and decided that having a few hours of freedom as a human was enough? That she would wait here for death to come for her? Or would she give me permission to save her, the only way I knew how?

She looked down to the ground, her expression… ashamed?

"I… I'm not sure."

What? After all this she still hadn't chosen? Granted, it was a big decision. But she didn't have time to be so irresolute. With a mind as bright as hers, didn't she understand this?

A growl of anger escaped my chest before I could rein it in. She shrank away from me in fear. I tried to control the fierce emotions coursing through me so I could explain.

"There is no time for hesitation, Alice. If you do not decide now, he will decide for you."

"I know. But…" She trailed off, as though she wasn't planning on finishing her thought.

"What?" It took a great deal of self-control to keep from shouting at her. How could she be so hesitant when her life was at stake?

"But if you change me… What if that makes him angry? What if he decides to hurt you… or kill you because of it?"

At first I was just amazed that she'd been able to come to this conclusion on her own. I'd never told her of my thoughts on this matter, how wildly vengeful our kind could be, or any of my past experiences with such hunters. And then I was amazed at her concern. She would lay down her life to save me? Why?

"Is that all you're worried about?" I asked, hardly able to believe it.

"Well, not all…"

She was minimizing the risk to herself, the pain of transformation, the unbearable thirst I'd explained to her, the fact that she would be barren for eternity, because she was concerned for me! But I had to know that she chose this, for herself.

I grasped her shoulders and looked into her eyes, not letting her look away. I had to see her, to be sure she was answering me truthfully.

"You don't need to worry about that. Do you understand what I'm saying? I need you to consider your options and tell me what it is you want. Don't worry for me."

She gazed back into my eyes. Her heart stuttered, then raced. Her pupils dilated and her eyes started to well with tears. But she didn't respond.

"Tell me, Alice! Please! Tell me what you want!" I demanded, trying very hard not to shout at her.

Her face scrunched up in pain.

"I… I want to live!" she bawled out. "I don't want him to get me. I want you to change me!"

She closed her eyes and her tears poured over, streaming down her cheeks.

I couldn't contain the profound relief and joy that I felt in that moment. It was like an enormous weight had suddenly been lifted from my chest. I drew her soft, fragile body to me in a sweet embrace, for the first time allowing myself to enjoy the sensation of holding her in my arms.

"Thank you," I breathed against her neck. She trembled slightly, but did not try to move away from me.

Now that I had her consent, the urgency of my task became more apparent. I released the girl and set about my work, felling trees and hewing them into logs fit for a raft. I was very meticulous about the raft construction. It must be strong and sturdy enough to withstand several days at sea with it's precious cargo. I did not make any attempt to disguise my work or hide our scents. I wanted the hunter to discover this little area and follow us to the water. That was a part of the plan.

"What are you doing?"

Always curious, wasn't she?

"I'm going to build you a raft."

She watched me work for a moment, curiosity still dancing in her eyes.

"Why are you building me a raft? Are we sailing to Africa?"

If only that were all that was required to save her!

"No. If you're on the water it will be harder for him to find you. You won't leave a scent trail."

"Oh," she mused. But she didn't ask any more questions.

After about an hour of laboring I noticed that the girl had fallen asleep on a tuffet of grass in a little patch of sunlight. It was comforting to see, though I wasn't certain if it was because she was trusting of me, or simply sheer exhaustion that prompted her slumber.

I finished the flatboat, taking time to be certain of its soundness. The girl woke when it was finished, perfect timing on her part. I carried both she and the flatboat over the last hill to the waterfront. I set her down on the sand, to be certain that she left a strong trail of scent here, and lowered the flatboat onto the waves.

"Come, Alice!" I called. It still felt a little rude calling a girl… a woman by her given name. It felt as though I were debasing her to do so. But I knew she enjoyed it. It probably helped to take the sting out of being forced to leave her family.

She walked toward me and nimbly alighted onto the raft.

Just then I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. A tree in the distance was swaying against the wind, moving in a rhythm different than the trees surrounding it. It was about twenty-five miles north west of us, very near the still-smoking asylum.

I hissed in rage. He was early!

"He's near. Hold on."

She lowered herself onto the wood and gripped the edges. I ferried her out into the waves and gradually increased our speed, heading far south and east. I wanted to be as sure as possible that her little boat would not get caught in the heavy offshore current and end up in Greenland. But I wanted her to remain at sea for at least three days and to come ashore after sunset. It was a very precarious task, but I'd lived near these waters for over a hundred years and knew their currents well. With the weather we'd been having lately, and the way the water felt at the moment, the temperature the air was, and how the sky looked I had a fairly decent idea where I had to place her boat so that she would wash ashore at the right time on a beach that was almost always deserted this time of year.

The sun was setting now. The hunter would probably be comfortable following our trail through the open road soon. I needed to hurry.

"We don't have long, but I must explain this to you now," I murmured. "I believe the only option at this point is for me to erase your memory."

"No!" Her fervent refusal was much louder than anything I'd heard from her in a long time.

"Please, be silent Alice. He may soon be able to hear us. And that is the crux of the situation. If you are unable to remain silent during the transformation, erasing your memory is the only alternative. That way you will be immobilized and anesthetized during the procedure. If I'm unable to stall this young one long enough... If he were to hear you he could find you easily. And, even though scent does not travel well on water, sound is another matter."

"I'll be quiet. I won't make any noise," she whispered, as if trying to prove her point. "Just please don't take away my memories."

Of course I didn't want to erase her memories. But I was afraid I had no other choice. She simply didn't understand.

I'd paddled her far enough out now, so I climbed onto the flatboat with her, hoping I could explain in a way that she would understand.

"You don't know what it is you're getting yourself into, Alice. It may not be possible for you to remain silent. This level of pain... it's unlike anything you've ever experienced before." I stifled a shudder at the memory. It had been over a thousand years, and yet I still remembered the searing agony with crystal clarity.

"Let's just try then, please?"

She looked at me with… those eyes, brimming with moisture, begging me. How could I resist her? When had I lost my backbone? What had she done to me? I sighed heavily; knowing the pain that this would cause her.

"We can try. But if you make a sound I will have to do what is necessary to keep you alive. If I must go to that extreme, I promise to leave as much of your memory as possible. And, if I am able to, I will find you when this is over and tell you anything you wish to know."

"If?" She was pressing for information, or perhaps a promise of return, but I couldn't give her either. I scanned the shoreline. He hadn't made it there yet. Good. Perhaps he was taking his time. And time was all I asked.

I laid the girl onto the wood and tied her down, being very careful to not tie too tightly or too loosely.

"If I'm not able to come to you, you must rely on your visions to guide you. Remember that if you can. Follow your visions, let them guide you along safe paths."

If I took her memories I must also leave her some clue that will help her… I would figure that out later.

"My visions? But, Alaric..."

"When this is over your mind will be healed. Your brain has suffered injury during your procedures at the asylum. But vampire venom heals all injuries. You will see your visions again, Alice, better than before." Much better than before. Oh what a glorious immortal she would make! I couldn't fathom what she would be capable of with a vampire mind at her disposal.

Tears, once more, welled in her eyes. But she was smiling. She was radiant. Even now, weak, cold, strapped down to a wooden flatboat in the middle of the ocean with a vampire about to bite her, she still shone so much brighter than any star in the sky. The night would not be dark with her illuminating it. Like the full moon rising would be her accession into the vampire world.

I leaned over her, gazing into her bright, shining eyes, and gave her one last opportunity to escape.

"This is your last chance to change your mind, Alice."

"Go ahead," she breathed, trembling. "I'll be quiet."

Our time together was ending. In a moment she would be leaving me; and if she ever did see me again she would no longer know me. Perhaps it was selfish of me, but I so wanted to tell her, even if she would not, or could not return my feelings. Still, I wanted her to know.

"When this is over, I believe you will not remember me at all. And I also believe that this is the last time I will ever see you. So, for this one moment, I want you to know something. You should know that you've touched an ancient, stone-cold heart and made it come alive in impossible ways. I love you, Alice. And I'm sorry... for everything that you've been through because of me."

She looked stunned. And, for once, she didn't speak. I waited for a moment, looking into her beautiful moist hazel eyes one last time. And then I pushed her jaw aside, grazing my teeth along her throat. She shuddered slightly at the contact. I concentrated hard, fighting the instinct to bite into her carotid artery, which would pulse hot, rich blood strongly into my mouth, emptying her of her life-fluid quickly. Instead I aimed for the weaker jugular vein. I wanted the venom to travel towards her heart, not away from it.

I found the vein and softly, delicately, sliced through her fragile flesh with my teeth.


	39. Denali

**June, 2003**

School. I hated school. I loathed school. I detested school. At first the novelty of it had made it exciting. I was thrilled to get the chance to learn what human youths did during the day. I loved anything that made me feel more human. But the novelty wore off after the first few decades, abhorrence taking its place.

It would be one thing if I could actually learn something once in a while. But the monotony of reviewing the same material day after day and year after year, combined with the disgusting chore of eating cafeteria food, compounded with being forced to move like a slow, clumsy human all day was downright deplorable.

I sat in the small cafeteria at Tri-Valley school in Healy Alaska, fiddling with my french fries and eyeing my unopened carton of milk with disgust. We were all sitting at a long table together: Edward, Emmett, Rosalie, Tanya, Irina, Kate, Jasper and I. Eight of us, all together in one place and surrounded by humans. The sight would have been quite shocking to any normal vampire, but to us it was just the same old thing we'd been doing for years.

It had taken me very little time after joining the Cullens to be ready to attend school. Since I'd been practicing for so long already, and had such a comparatively short time hunting the usual way I'd had a head start. My ability to see the future also came in quite handy in that respect… if I was paying attention that was.

I frowned slightly as an unpleasant memory once more intruded on my mind.

About twenty years ago I'd had an…"accident".

We'd been living outside of Chicago at the time. It was a late winter night and I'd been on my way back home from a shopping trip, taking a short cut through the deserted park. At least I had assumed it was deserted.

And why would I have even bothered to check to be certain? I was in control of myself, and confident that I would be able to handle almost anything. I wasn't even thirsty, having hunted only the night before.

I was just entering the park, intent on racing through the night as quickly as I could to get back to the house.

It hit me out of nowhere, like a meteor falling from the sky. One moment I was my usual, sane, controlled self. The next I was a wild, savage, monster.

The scent was so strong, so compelling that it was impossible to ignore it. It was the most intense, delicious, mouthwatering human blood I had ever encountered. My throat ripped into flames, burning with a thirst hotter than I had ever experienced before, hotter even than when I had been a newborn. My mind was completely consumed with thirst, my every thought bent on quenching that thirst and putting out the flames in my throat. It was eerily reminiscent of my very first hunt, only much stronger.

My victim was a homeless man. He'd been taking shelter under a tarp, wrapped in dirty newspapers and cardboard to keep warm. His life ended so quickly he probably didn't even notice what was happening. Drinking his blood was the most pleasurable thing I had ever experienced. But the guilt I felt afterwards - the horrible guilt, sorrow, and shame of having taken his life – completely nullified that pleasure.

I'd stayed in the park for a long time after the incident, too ashamed to go back; ashamed that I had given in; ashamed for my family to see the red in my eyes; ashamed for Edward to hear my thoughts; ashamed to face Carlisle, who had never once hunted a human in his more than three hundred years as a vampire.

I wondered who the man had been. When I found him he was dirty and alone, homeless. But at one time he had been a little baby. He'd probably had a mother and father who loved him, maybe even brothers or sisters. Perhaps he had children of his own before circumstances or poor decisions led him to that state.

Jasper eventually found me, still crouched over the lifeless, drained body. He had been concerned that I hadn't returned when I said I would and had followed my scent into the park.

He didn't say anything as he approached; it was obvious what had happened. But I felt the sympathy and confusion radiating from him as he drew near. Even though I'd told him once that I thought I might slip up sometime, he never really expected it to happen.

"I… don't know what happened," I whispered. "I wasn't even thirsty. But… I couldn't stop myself." I took a long, slow breath. "I didn't even try."

I looked up into his worried, compassionate eyes, seeing my reflection in them. Seeing my own eyes, reddened with human blood.

He sat next to me and drew me into his arms, comforting me and infusing me with calm, erasing my shame.

"It will be okay, Alice. You know that none of us will hold it against you."

With him embracing me it was impossible to feel my previous shame. I let him help me to my feet and lead me back to the house.

Jasper didn't understand what had happened. But Emmett and Carlisle did. They told me that, once in a while, a human would come along who smelled so good to one of us that it was nearly impossible to resist their blood. Carlisle, of course, had never given in to the temptation. But Emmett had. He told me not to let it bother me; it was already in the past so there was no use worrying about it.

I couldn't let go of things with such ease as he could.

Since that incident I'd paid much closer attention to my own future. I wanted to be sure I would see if any temptation like that were in store before it happened. What if next time I was in a public place when I came across the scent? I would destroy everything that we'd been working to build for ourselves, not to mention the life of yet another innocent human!

For Jasper it had taken much longer to develop the self-control necessary to attend school. He'd spent so much of his vampire existence feeding on humans that the habit was much more deeply ingrained. Even now he needed to be well fed on animal blood before he could endure six straight hours surrounded by human youths. Carlisle was going to suggest that Jasper challenge himself by going to school thirsty. I didn't like the idea. I didn't want him to have to suffer like that. And, even worse, what if he wasn't able to tolerate the temptation? But Jasper would be willing to try. He hated to appear weak.

Here in the Denali Borough, Carlisle, Esme, Carmen, and Eleazar were choosing to play older roles. Carmen and Eleazar were taking a philosophy tele-course online through the University of Washington.

Carlisle was working as an independent Family Practitioner through the AAFP. There wasn't a hospital within a reasonable driving distance of Healy, so he was operating his own private practice. All one thousand residents of Healy – the largest town in the Denali Borough – were grateful to have such a skilled doctor nearby.

Edward tapped the table with his fingernail, disrupting my daydreams, and very deliberately lifted his cheeseburger to take a bite.

Ugh! Was it going to be one of those days again?

The student population of Tri-Valley school - which accommodated preschoolers all the way through the twelfth grade - was only one hundred and sixty strong. Our table of eight vampires made up a significant percentage of the high school students present. Everything we did, or didn't do, was invariably noticed.

I lifted my burger and casually took a bite, chewed it thoroughly and washed it down with a swig of milk, suppressing a shudder. Honestly, which human in history looked at a cow and decided to drink the white fluid that came out of the dangly things between her legs? It was so gross!

Edward sighed and rolled his eyes at me.

_Are they more suspicious today?_ I asked, chewing on a french fry.

He nodded slightly, the motion too small for a human to notice, even if they were paying attention.

I nudged Jasper next to me to let him know he needed to start making the untouched food on his tray disappear.

_The students?_ I asked Edward.

He shook his head and looked across the room, towards the cafeteria staff. The principal had entered and was talking with the food servers. They were eyeing us furtively. I listened in on their conversation.

"…hardly eat anything. I'm starting to get concerned. What if there is some sort of abuse going on that we don't know about?" Mrs. Cole was murmuring to the principal.

"They are excellent students," he assured her. "Every one of them, always polite, highly intelligent, well groomed, well dressed. I don't think there could be something like that happening, it just doesn't fit the symptoms of abuse. They probably just don't like the cafeteria food."

"But they're the only ones who act this way," Ms. Newman chimed in. "Just look at them; they've hardly touched their food today. And I've noticed several times when they throw out their lunches without even taking a bite. It looks like they aren't getting enough sleep, either. Look how pale they are and the circles under their eyes…" she shook her head sadly.

We were all paying attention now. When she mentioned "eyes" we all shifted slightly to avert said eyes from the group of school employees scrutinizing us.

"If it was just one or two of them I might not have taken notice, but all eight show the same symptoms. Overly adult behavior, extreme compliancy, lack of sleep, and the food thing… That may be a symptom of depression. We just think it would be wise to have someone pay a visit to their house, make sure they're being properly cared for. It may be necessary to contact Child Protective Services."

Seriously?!

Edward looked up at the rest of us, getting our attention.

"I think it may be time for us to move soon," he murmured.

Irina, Tanya and Kate looked at him, their eyes widening.

"Is it that bad?" Tanya asked, surprised.

"It isn't terrible. But we'll discuss this with Carlisle. I'm afraid we don't want to risk letting their suspicions get any farther than this."

Rosalie sighed. "We only had one year left until we graduated, too." She pouted prettily, looking forlornly at Emmett. They were planning on taking another honeymoon trip to Paris after graduation.

"Don't worry, baby. We'll still have this summer. I'll take you someplace nice," he assured her with a grin. She half-smiled at him, not completely appeased, though.

"There are only a few weeks left in the school year," Kate said. "Will you have to leave immediately?"

"We probably will stay at least until the end of the school year. The humans would think it strange if we all just up and left suddenly," I told her, sifting through various future possibilities.

I was much more adept at my gift now than I had been forty years ago. Now I was able to see things indistinctly with my gift while still seeing the world around me in the present. Edward described it as seeing the future with my peripheral vision while still focusing on reality. It came in very handy when I was trying to look normal to the humans… or even other vampires for that matter.

Tanya, Irina and Kate seemed to relax a little, knowing that we wouldn't be packing up that night, at least. Each of us made an effort to eat a significant portion of our respective lunches before dumping the leftovers in the trash.

When the lunch hour was over, Rosalie, Emmett, Tanya and Kate went to the Junior's classroom while Edward, Irina Jasper and I ambled off to the Sophomore's class. There were so few students that each grade level was a classroom to itself. Edward and I saw the same sixteen classmates for every single class. And each teacher taught his or her subject at several different grade levels. There was no blending into the crowd at this school.

During our chemistry class I could tell that Edward was distracted. He was probably spying on the principal's or the teachers' thoughts, gauging how bad the situation was. I scanned our future, trying to see what I might be able to as well. We'd known for a while that it was coming to this. It had only been a matter of time.

While scanning the future, I saw a representative from CPS coming to visit our house next week. He would say they received a report that us "kids" weren't being well cared for and was just coming by to make sure everything was okay.

Our more distant future was becoming slightly clearer also. Edward was more convinced now than he had been at first that a move was necessary. His certainty made our future firm up quite a bit. Even though he didn't think of himself this way, we all understood that Edward was the second-in-command under Carlisle. We all trusted his judgment, Carlisle especially. If Edward thought it was time to go, then it was probably time to go.

And, even though I could take him down if I wanted to, I still did my best not to cross him. Irritate him? Yes, absolutely. That was one of my favorite pastimes. But I never wanted to make him truly mad at me. The hierarchy was instinctive, but very firm. I wondered if it was a part of vampire nature to have a pecking order within covens.

"Concentrate, Alice… please," Edward muttered grouchily from his desk behind me.

Next to me, Jasper tried to stifle his irritation. He didn't like Edward bossing me around.

I wanted to roll my eyes, but Edward was right. I needed to concentrate. I went back to scanning the future, looking for what we might be able to do to make things go smoother. There wasn't much. I only came back to the present to respond to our teachers. Twice, Jasper muttered the correct answer to me because I hadn't heard the question.

When school was over we piled into Tanya's black Mitsubishi 3000GT, a gift from Edward, and Emmett's enormous Jeep Wrangle, also a gift from Edward. Everyone assumed the cars belonged to Carlisle.

I felt a familiar small pang of sadness as Jasper and I crawled into the back of the Mitsubishi. I missed my Jaguar. We'd taken excellent care of it and the car would be worth a fortune today, but it had grown out-of-date and we couldn't keep it without raising too much suspicion, especially in places like this. I had made sure it went to someone who would appreciate what he had and held onto a hope that, some day, I might be able to buy it back.

I really wanted a car of my own again. But it would be very suspicious up here if all of us had a vehicle. Tanya's Mitsubishi was ostentatious enough way out here in the middle of Alaska. Maybe when we moved I could get Edward to buy me a new car. Not that I didn't have the funds to buy one myself, but Edward had good taste in cars and I really liked getting presents.

We drove up the long winding road to the house. The Denali sisters - as I thought of them - lived in an enormous three-story log home. Their house - or perhaps mansion was a better term - was endowed with seven bedrooms, seven full and two half-bathrooms, a gourmet kitchen, a separate dining room, a living room, a family room, a game room, a den, a library, a loft, a huge attic, and a basement. From the Kitchen there were enormous windows looking out toward Mt. McKinley. From the entryway a wide spiral staircase wound up the three stories. There was a large deck that spanned the entire width of the house on the second floor supported underneath by giant stone columns. There was even a separate, heated ten-car garage, powered by solar panels. Rosalie used most of that space to work on the cars, something she loved to do in spite of the grease.

Even by Cullen standards the place was extravagant. To the small-town Alaskans it must seem like a fairytale castle made of trees.

We filed out of the cars and into the "castle". Carlisle was in the central living room reading a medical journal with Esme at his side. When he looked up and saw Edward's face he knew something wasn't right.

"Has it gotten... worse?" Carlisle asked, perhaps thinking more than he said.

Edward nodded.

Carlisle sighed, thoughtfully. "Carmen, Eleazar, will you please join us in the dining room?" he asked, sadly. Two stories up the Spaniards heard him and made their way downstairs to join us.

We all filed into the dining room and sat around Esme's giant oak table, which had miraculously survived the incident with Maria in Calgary, suffering only a few scratches and dents. After a little sanding and re-varnishing it was practically as good as new.

Two other survivors of the house-crash were Carlisle's father's cross and my large antique mirror. Pretty much everything else that was breakable had been destroyed when I tore through the structure like a savage beast. Emmett would never let me live that one down. Although he now looked at me with significantly more respect than he had before.

When everyone was present Carlisle motioned for Edward to explain what had happened today.

"The employees at the school are starting to suspect that there may be something different about us. Today we heard them discussing the possibility of abuse or neglect. And Alice saw visions of an official coming to the house to investigate these claims."

All eyes turned to me.

"A representative from CPS will coming to the house next Tuesday to investigate. They want to make sure our parents are treating us well."

Tanya and Irina scoffed. Carmen and Eleazar looked from me to Carlisle, seeming confused.

"It's not that unreasonable," Carlisle acquiesced. "There are so many of us here that our differences are understandably much more apparent to the humans."

"So you are going to move?" Tanya asked, quietly. Her eyes flashed briefly to Edward.

"I have been worried about this for some time now," Carlisle said. "With what Edward has been telling me of the escalating suspicions at the school. I believe it will be safer for us all if we separate."

"So soon," Kate murmured. "It's too bad. I've enjoyed having you all here."

"As have I," Irina said. "But we mustn't risk exposure. If there is the slightest suspicion within the human population, Carlisle is right. We can't stay together."

"Where will you go?" Eleazar asked.

"Please don't go far," Carmen pled, as if finishing Eleazar's thought.

"Why not Washington?" Esme suggested. "It's been about seventy years since we left Hoquiam."

"That's an idea," Carlisle agreed.

Emmett snorted. "Do you really want to go back there with the wolves?"

Wait a minute… wolves? "What are you talking about, Emmett?" I asked, baffled by his words and tone. Jasper was eyeing him with a perplexed expression to match mine.

"Yeah, you weren't with us the last time. There are these freaky, big, hairy, smelly, wolf-men living there. They demanded that we stay out of their territory. We outnumbered them, too. I can't believe we agreed to that stupid treaty." He scowled.

Jasper and I stared at him as though he was speaking a language neither of us knew. I looked around at the others for help.

"Carlisle has told us of these wolf-men," Tanya said. "But we haven't met any in person. We don't usually travel into that region."

"It's true?"

"You didn't see them when they found us in 1938?" Esme asked.

"No, I didn't see them. I saw some visions of you when you lived in Hoquiam, but I never saw any mutant dog-men."

Emmett chuckled.

Now I was terribly curious.

"Are they… werewolves?"

"Not exactly," Edward explained. "It depends on your definition. If by werewolf you mean a man that turns into a wolf sometimes, then yes. But there are true werewolves out there that infect others by their bite, as we do, and change only during the full moon. These wolf-men in Washington change when they lose their temper, and later - after they have learned some control - at will. Also like us, they are very dangerous and unstable at first."

"I would really like to have a sample of their DNA," Carlisle murmured, shaking his head as if that were an unfortunate impossibility.

"Are they dangerous to our kind?" Jasper asked, edging closer to me.

"A large enough pack can be dangerous. I think it would take more than one wolf to take down one of us, unless that wolf is very skilled," Edward assured him. "And the treaty is still in place. So there should be no trouble."

That would explain Emmett's reaction. Living so close to worthy adversaries and yet not being allowed to challenge them would seriously irritate him.

"I can't believe I never saw that," I griped, still stuck on the fact that my family had met a group of wolf-men and I'd missed it.

"We did outnumber them," Edward said. "So perhaps there was no real danger to us. If you weren't watching at the time, that could explain why you didn't see."

"It must be. But I would really like to have seen that."

"Seventy years is a long time for humans," Carlisle mused. "Perhaps we shouldn't assume that the treaty still stands. Alice, can you look ahead for us, see if there are any wolves waiting there for our return?"

"Sure," I chirped, eager to see these freaky, smelly mutant wolves. Would they be huge? Man-sized? Or normal wolf-size?

"They're pretty big," Edward assured me with a smile. "About the size of a small horse."

"Really? Wow!" I scanned forward eagerly.

Carlisle wasn't set on us going to Washington yet. So there were still thousands of other possible futures to sort through. A few decades ago this would have been a real challenge for me. But either I was becoming more adept at using my gift or my talent was growing stronger. I took a couple of seconds to gather up all the possibilities that didn't include moving to western Washington and pushed them aside. It didn't make things as clear as they would have been if Carlisle were firmly decided, but nearly so.

With those possibilities dismissed I sifted through the remaining futures, finding a few timelines that looked promising. I narrowed them down further and compiled the information into the most likely outcome. We were moving south, settling in a little town called Forks. Even though it was a very small town it was still more than twice the size of Healy. Esme would find a nice old house to renovate; we would enroll at Forks High School; Edward and I starting over as freshmen.

I looked carefully and found when Carlisle and Edward would be showing Jasper and I the treaty line. It seemed the wolf scent was no longer there or very weak, and no wolves came to greet us. We still did not venture into their territory. Carlisle would insist that we would hold up our end of the treaty even though there were no longer any wolves to enforce it. I scanned further, looking to see if any wolves showed up later, years into the future. After about a minute of fruitless searching I was certain we would not encounter any giant wolf-men in Forks.

"I don't see any." I pouted in disappointment, shaking my head and snapping out of the vision.

"The gene doesn't activate until puberty," Carlisle said. "It's possible that there may be boys who have yet to make the initial transformation."

"She searched ten years ahead," Edward told him. "There was no sign of them. The gene must have died out."

"Ah. That's too bad." Carlisle's sighed, unhappily.

Edward, Rosalie, and Emmett looked at one another with wry expressions that told me they didn't share in Carlisle's assessment of the situation. Jasper relaxed at my side and I knew that he also was relieved. Edward had said the wolves were dangerous, and Jasper always overreacted when he thought there was some risk to my well-being, no matter how slight.

"We will stay here at least until the school year is over," Carlisle announced. "We must assuage what suspicions we can. In the mean time I will see about relocating us. Washington does seem like a good possibility." He smiled down at Esme. "If we do go there I will need to contact the Quileute elders and alert them to our pending arrival."

"But, Alice said the wolves aren't there anymore," Irina protested. "Wouldn't talking to their elders break the rules… if they're just human now?"

There was a long, pregnant pause while Carlisle thought this through.

He'd spent some time with the Volturi - the ruling Italian vampires who were powerful enough to destroy all who opposed them – during the eighteenth century. He knew how they operated.

After thinking it through for a moment he looked up at Eleazar, who also had spent a significant amount of time with the Volturi, though he'd actually been a member of their guard.

Eleazar nodded as though he shared in Edward's talent and knew what Carlisle was thinking.

"If they are no longer members of the supernatural, so to speak, then it would be violating the rules to contact them in this manner," Eleazar said.

"Yes, of course. It's just that it seems so callous… if there are some remaining who know the truth still, though the gene has died out, it would be abominably rude for us to simply move in and not announce ourselves to them."

"Be that as it may," Eleazar answered. "The facts remain. And you and I both know how Aro will see it if word ever reached him."

"Not that we would ever say anything," Carmen emphasized, placing a hand on her mate's arm.

"But the rules must be followed. They're there for good reason." Irina insisted, Tanya and Kate nodding in agreement.

"Please don't risk breaking the rules," Kate begged, leaning in to take Carlisle's hand. "You are all like family to us."

"Of course not, Katrina," Carlisle, soothed.

Esme pulled Kate into a hug and kissed her straight blonde hair. "We always play it safe in that respect, Katie. You know that." She looked up at the others. "None of you need to worry about us. We won't risk exposure. And just think how close we'll be!"

They were soothed for the most part. It looked like our plans for moving were firming up nicely. Carlisle would start looking for a job in that area in the morning. He would find a promising position at a hospital in Forks: the rainiest part of the rainiest state in the contiguous United States. They wouldn't be able to pay him nearly what he was worth, but that didn't matter. We were after their climate and our own anonymity, not money.

The next several days were stressful. When we returned to school we had to be extra careful to act as human as possible. We fidgeted and blinked and talked about the weather and ate our lunches. We were honestly trying to fit in. I wasn't really sure we were doing a very good job, though.

When the following Tuesday arrived the CPS official came to our house, just as I had seen.

We had to pretend that we weren't expecting his visit, of course. So we all "just happened to be" in the middle of various human activities when he rang the doorbell. Emmett, Jasper and Eleazar were watching football on the giant flat-screen TV. Tanya, Edward and I were working on our homework. Esme and Carmen were preparing a prime rib with au jus, steamed king crab legs with garlic butter, herbed new potatoes, grilled vegetables, fresh biscuits, and a hot, sticky marmalade roll for dessert: the normal human fare, of course.

Kate, and Irina were playing a game of cards on the dining room table.

Carlisle spoke cordially with the representative when he arrived and even invited him to stay for dinner. The man declined the invitation - with difficulty it seemed. He gawked openly at the extravagant building and gawked even more at the females of the house, especially Rosalie. But she always had that effect on men and liked it that way.

When all of his questions were answered and he'd had a chance to look around the house the CPS official left, seeming a bit dazed from the experience.

The moment he was gone we all looked at Edward.

"He was impressed," Edward said. "But also a bit suspicious. It's hard not to notice the differences when we're all in one place like this. He doesn't believe we're being abused. But he suspects that perhaps we're chronic insomniacs, or that we all share a similar illness. He won't be returning."

"That's a relief at least," Tanya sighed.

"Yes. But it's good we're leaving now," Carlisle answered. "We wouldn't want to let their suspicions go any farther than this. If they did then you all might be forced to leave as well."

For the remainder of our time in Alaska we were all on our very best behavior; hunting frequently to keep our appearance as human as possible, eating large portions of human food during lunchtime, trying to look more clumsy and less graceful whenever we walked, being a little slower than usual with the correct answers when called on in class.

We spread the word around that our adopted father was taking a job in Washington because the Alaskan winter was too harsh for our mother. The residents of Healy were unhappy that their favorite local doctor was leaving. But the news was in no way suspicious, or even really unexpected.

The school year ended, thankfully, and we busied ourselves with making all the little meticulous preparations for our move.

In the peripheral of my vision I was seeing glimmers of something. I wasn't sure if it was something I should act on or something I ought to just ignore and leave well enough alone. Surely Edward already knew - or at least had a good idea of - what was probably going to happen.

I stood in our bedroom and contemplated the dilemma of which belongings I would be bringing with us to Forks and which I would leave behind. Some of my blouses might fit Irina, and I could let Kate keep some of my shoes. Carmen and Tanya might like some of my handbags. I would be keeping almost all of my jewelry. Jewelry was never disposable. I would leave all our bath oils and soaps behind, though. There wouldn't be room for them in our communal bathroom where we were moving.

Edward returned home from a long run and made his way upstairs, heading toward his room to finish packing his CDs. I decided that it would be better to warn him of what was coming. Better for both of them.

_Edward, Tanya is planning to confront you tonight. You probably already know what it's about. Don't say I didn't warn you._

He paused and mumbled a "thanks" under his breath.

There. My good deed was done so I would do my best to ignore them now.

Jasper returned from his hunting trip with Emmett soon after and joined me in our room to help with the packing. His things were already taken care of, but I still had a mountain of stuff to sort through.

"We won't have our own bathroom in the new house," I told him when all of my hats, shoes, and handbags were boxed up. "And we only have a day left to use it." I grinned at him, knowing he would take the hint. He smiled back.

"I'll go start the water. Lavender or white jasmine?"

"Lavender, please. It reminds me of Vegas."

He chuckled and touched his lips to mine.

"Me too," he murmured and kissed me again, stroking my chin with his fingertips. I felt a tingling of anticipation, his and mine. He knew what hot baths did to me. Then he headed into our bathroom to fill our more-than-ample Jacuzzi tub with hot water.

A few hours later, while Jasper and I were still entwined in the warm sudsy water, a disturbing vision interrupted my thoughts.

"Darn it," I griped.

"What's the matter?" Jasper was instantly worried.

"Tanya's on her way here. She wants to talk to me."

"Tanya?" His worry dissipated, but now he was confused.

"Yes, right now. So unless you want her to see us… like this…we should probably get dressed."

He grudgingly obliged, but was still confused.

"What does Tanya want to talk about at this hour?"

It was generally understood among the family that nighttime was "alone time" for all of us matched pairs. We were generally not interrupted unless there was something important going on.

"You probably don't want to know. It's a girl thing."

"Hmm. All right. I'll go see what Edward is up to. Find me when you're done."

"Edward probably won't feel like talking much right now. But he'll appreciate the company."

We were dressed and standing by the door. A slightly frantic knock sounded, alerting us that our visitor had arrived.

Jasper opened the door and Tanya was standing there in the hallway. She looked a bit flustered. Jasper felt her emotions and looked between the two of us.

"Are you sure I can't help?" he asked me.

"Like I said. Girl thing."

He nodded and left.

"Come on in, Tanya." I smiled at her warmly.

"I'm so sorry, Alice," she nearly stammered. "I didn't mean to interrupt…I don't know what I was thinking. I just needed to talk to someone and I thought that you would…"

"It's all right. I understand. You need to talk to someone. So let's talk."

Tanya's eyes wandered towards the bathroom; she noticed the warm humidity and the lavender scent still hanging heavy in the air.

"I'm really sorry for interrupting you. This could have waited until morning."

"Don't worry about it."

She looked at me contritely for a moment, and then went to sit on the couch.

"You know what happened?" she asked.

"I have an idea. But I wasn't watching."

"It was probably silly for me to entertain the thought, wasn't it?"

"Edward is a very unique vampire. He definitely has his own ideas about things. But he's usually fairly chivalrous. Did he ever lead you on?"

"No, he never gave any indication that he was... inclined toward me in that way. But like you said, he's a gentleman. I thought that maybe if I told him… I even offered to leave my sisters, and Carmen and Eleazar, to join your family in Washington if he would prefer it. I'm just not used to…Why wouldn't he be interested in me?"

I had to giggle at her. Tanya and her sisters were all well over a thousand years old. And they shared a common taste for human men. The three of them were the source of the myth of the succubus, tempting men to forbidden pleasures followed by a deadly feast. Over time they developed a conscience, and now the men they loved actually lived.

Tonight Tanya had approached Edward to declare herself. She offered to leave all of that behind if he would stay with her. He'd obviously told her that he wasn't interested in the offer. Though he probably did it in a polite gentlemanly manner.

"I don't know, Tanya. Really. Maybe he's just not interested in anyone he's met so far. Maybe he will never want a mate. Or it may be that he was just too young when Carlisle changed him." I shrugged.

"I really do like him," she mumbled, as if almost ashamed of the fact.

"I know, Tanya. A lot of us were really hoping it would work out between you two. You know Esme would be thrilled to have you as a daughter-in-law. And I really think Edward needs to have a woman in his life."

"Tell me about it!" she laughed.

"Don't let it bother you too much. You've had far too many successes to let one little failure get you down. Especially when it's Edward." I rolled my eyes dramatically and she laughed with me.

"You're right, of course. Thanks for letting me gripe, Alice."

"Any time, Tanya. You are practically family anyway, you know."

"I'll always feel that way, too." She hugged me. "Now I bet you want to go find Jasper. Tell him I'm sorry for kicking him out, will you?"

"It's not necessary, he could tell you needed to talk. But I will."

She rose to leave. "We're really going to miss all of you. Promise you will come and visit us often."

"We will, definitely," I promised.

She smiled and left. I headed out to find Jasper and Edward, the silly fool. Tanya was a bright, beautiful, kind, fun, good-hearted, and highly eligible female practically throwing herself at him. What was he thinking? Why wasn't she good enough for him?

I had to quash those thoughts before I got into range of the finicky mind-reading vampire. He wouldn't appreciate hearing my opinions on this matter. And I supposed it really was his decision to make.

I sighed and shook my head while I ran along, following Jasper's most recent trail.

Edward could be so exasperating sometimes.


	40. Last Battle

September, 1920

Oh, the girl's blood was intoxicating! The decadent, rich fluid entered my mouth, filling it with the sweet essence of Alice, driving every other thought from my mind.

I heard her soft gasp of pain and then she stiffened under me in her effort to remain silent. Being aware of her torment helped me to concentrate. I focused on my task, pouring as much venom as I could into her bloodstream, trying mightily to avoid spilling more of her precious life-fluid.

The draw of her blood was so powerful, so consuming, that I had to fight mightily to keep from reverting to my natural, monstrous state. Sweeter and more desirable by far than the elderly men I'd fed on the previous night. Her young, fresh, vibrant blood called to me, beckoning me to drink deeper, to forget all else.

The girl moaned softly and fought against her restraints. Her pain was growing stronger, just as I had known it would.

The knowledge of her suffering helped me to retain that last bit of sanity that was necessary to stop.

I released her throat and glided my tongue along the wounds my teeth had made, washing venom over the open incisions. Her flesh closed, fusing together almost instantly as my venom healed and changed it, sealing the burning fluid inside her body.

I leaned away and gazed into her face, amazed that she had managed to stay silent for so long. It had been nearly twenty seconds. Most others would have broken their vocal chords with screaming by now… only to have them healed by the twelfth hour and thus be able to resume their screaming.

Her face was scrunched up in pain, her white lips pressed tightly together. Her flesh was taking on a bright red hue. She wasn't breathing. Holding her breath when stressed was a habit with her, I'd noticed. She probably didn't realize she was doing it.

I was thoroughly impressed with her fortitude. Another ten seconds had passed and still she was silent. It was a testament to how ardently she desired to retain her precious human memories. She writhed in agony, but didn't make a sound.

I could see that the pain was growing stronger. Her writhing was becoming more frantic. I placed my icy hand against her cheek, wishing that the cold of my touch could ease the burning she was experiencing, but knowing all too well that it was a useless gesture. She probably didn't even feel my hand.

Then her agony must have reached a critical mass. All at once she opened her mouth, gasped in a deep breath of air and screamed in agony. The sound was chilling, almost inhuman. It was the sound of someone being burned alive. I'd heard that sound, under various circumstances, many times before. But hearing it now ripping from her throat… that was too much for me. And in addition to that motivation the hunter could easily be within earshot by now.

I had to stop her suffering. I didn't hesitate, but leaned in and placed my other hand on her face as well and focused.

For the first time, I dared to pass through the outer surface of her skull and delve into this beautiful girl's mind. Many times I had wished to do so. To see the memories and explore the complex workings of Alice's mind was a gift I didn't believe I deserved, but one I would have given much to receive.

With my eyes still open, and while seeing her tortured expression inches from my face, I dove deep into her memories.

It took me far less than a second to realize that I was out of my depth. Nothing was where it should be! Her familial memories were mingled together with her worldly possessions. Her fears were tangled together with her childhood adventures. And her memories of her sister tainted absolutely everything! Her languages, her motor skills, even her food preferences, were all inextricably entwined with memories of her sister. I had only ever seen something remotely similar to this once before, when I had altered the memory of an identical twin.

I balked. How could I do this quickly and still maintain enough of her "self" in the final result for her to survive?

Just then she opened her eyes. Her moist, hazel orbs burned into me, blood vessels rupturing as she screamed.

"KILL ME! PLEASE, KILL ME!" I heard the crack of her vocal chords snapping under the stress of her exclamation.

With her voice broken she wouldn't be able to make any more noise for a while.

Could I leave her to endure in silence for the next twelve hours until the venom healed her voice? If she cried out in pain then, would it be late enough in the process for the hunter to give up on his victim if I wasn't able to stall him long enough? I didn't think I could risk that.

She wanted to retain her memory; that was sure enough. But she hadn't figured on the level of pain she would be experiencing. And she wasn't able to remain silent.

It was obvious that she would rather die than continue to endure this torture. Living without memory was certainly preferable to death. Her human memories would fade over time, anyway. I could scarcely remember a thing about my own past. Would it be so different for her, when all was said and done?

She continued to writhe under me, the air hissed through her throat in silent screams of agony.

I focused once more on her mind and started slowly leeching out what I knew would be innocuous: old memories already forgotten. I could tell that they were already forgotten because there was no connection to these memories in her mind. When something was remembered, there was a bridge that led from the mind's awareness to that memory, in that way it could be retrieved. But a human's mind held countless thousands of events in their storage faculties that had lost their access to the surface.

As I worked, excavating these memories, her writhing slowed.

I focused harder, trying to distinguish the important areas of her mind from the trivial. I started arranging her mental information into sections, preparing to wipe out large chunks of her past in stages to help avoid doing any damage. Her mind was a vast complicated labyrinth and it was my task to navigate it quickly in order to save her.

I decided to separate actual events from their effects on her personality. In this way she would not remember ever learning how to ride a bicycle or to dance, but she would still remember how to do both. She would not remember her father or mother, but she would have an idea of what a father and mother should be based on her experiences with them. She would not remember how she had come to understand the English language, but she would remember every word and rule of grammar and syntax she now understood. She would not remember her sister, but the idea of her sister would, undoubtedly, permeate every aspect of her character. I'd had no idea before of the strength of their attachment one to another!

It would be a sloppy job. I was very rushed, and the girl's mind made about as much linear sense as a mass of cobweb… provided the spider had been intoxicated during construction.

I focused on the first section of memory, isolating what was to be erased and what was to remain untouched. With one, swift, invisible act I wiped it away.

The effect on Alice was instantaneous. Her body relaxed, her breathing slowed.

I looked into her eyes and was surprised to see that she was still aware. This had never happened before. How could it be that I'd just wiped away nearly ten years' worth of memory and her mind was still functioning? Perhaps her mind was even more peculiar than I'd imagined.

She was obviously still in a great deal of pain. Her breathing was coming in shallow gasps; her face was nearly as pale as mine. Her eyes still watered; there was even a trace of blood in her tears.

She looked into my face and, in spite of the pain she was obviously experiencing, her expression was full of sorrow.

"Don't go," she whispered, hoarsely.

It was miraculous that her brain was still able to function with everything happening to her right now. Even as I continued to work I could feel the changes of the venom taking effect in the soft grey flesh of her mind.

I gazed back into her eyes, willing her to understand. I had to go. I didn't have a choice anymore. Surely she understood that. After what I had just told her, knowing how I loved her, she had to understand that I couldn't let the hunter come for her. If he killed her… if I failed to protect her, it would destroy me.

"Don't let him kill you, please. I love you, too." Her whisper was gentle, but urgent. It stabbed through my heart like a dagger.

She did care for me. She cared for me as I'd hoped she would; and now I hated myself for hoping such a curse would befall her.

What good was her affection now, when I would no longer be here to accept it or return it?

In an instant the future seemed to flash before my eyes, almost as though I was borrowing her gift. I saw us together, immortal and free. I would teach her to resist the urge to feed on the living and she would retain her innocence. We would explore the darkest and most beautiful places in the world, glorying in the sacred night. Our love would be a thing of legend, if there were any who knew of it to write such legend.

But that future could not be. It was a future that might once have been a possibility, but no more.

The only thing that came as a result of her declaration was a sharpening of pain, a new sorrow.

I had been cherishing a hope that I could leave a bit of myself in her memory. I wanted her to know who had created her, and that this had been her choice. But now…I couldn't let her remember me. My memory would only be a cause of pain for her.

I examined her mind once more; selecting every bit of memory I could find that involved myself. I was surprised at the almost violent tenderness associated with those memories. Seeing myself through her eyes brought a new wave of anguish. She cared for me far more than I deserved. And this was the last time she would know me, the last time I would speak to her. This was the end.

"I'm sorry, Alice." I managed to choke the words out, sobbing in the strange, tearless way of a vampire.

Her eyes widened in fresh horror at my words.

Then in one great sweep I ripped out the remainder of her memories.

She went limp on the flat boat as if I had struck her; her mouth fell open and her breathing relaxed. To any other observer she would appear to be merely in a sweet sleep.

I gazed at her for one more long moment, not wanting to leave her. She seemed so small and vulnerable. I had to leave her some bit of protection.

Her gift would be her best protection when she woke. But she would not remember her gift or how to use it. And there was no telling what her gift would be like when she first woke up. Would it intrude on her mind when needed? Would she have to put forth an effort to use it? It seemed that her gift initiated itself automatically whenever she was in danger. That was a promising sign. If she followed the normal pattern for gifted vampires then her first vision would probably arise out of self-defense. I had to let her know to heed that warning.

I selected a patch of smooth wood near her right shoulder and etched a message deep in the soft grain with my index finger.

ALICE, FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS

That should be specific enough to get the message across - I hoped - but vague enough that it should mean nothing to any human who might read it.

I then reached down and ripped a strip of fabric from the hem of her nightgown: a part of my plan to protect her. I rubbed the fabric gently over her exposed flesh, wiping up her tears and her sweat, dabbing saliva from her lips, strengthening her scent on the strip of linen.

With my token in hand I moved to leave, but paused.

I glanced back at her face, relaxed in sweet repose. I bent over her sleeping figure and, oh so gently, kissed her lips. Her scent, so strong and sweet, made my throat burn with thirst. But I hardly noticed it. The pain of my thirst was nothing in comparison to the agony in my chest.

I silently slipped into the water.

I swam ashore as swiftly as I could while keeping her scent above the waves so it wouldn't wash away.

It was in the dark of the night when I waded ashore several miles east of where we'd cast off.

I fetched a second small flatboat that I'd hidden in the trees at this spot and cast it into the waves. It would wash ashore again soon, thoroughly rinsed of any scent other than the briny, pungency of seawater. I hoped it would be enough to convince the hunter that I was stupid enough to come back ashore with her so close to where we left the land.

There was a northwesterly breeze; that would be useful. I waved my piece of fabric, casting the girl's scent in the wind so the hunter would catch it and follow.

Carrying my strip of fabric loosely, I raced north, heading inland. I kept on fairly level ground and ran carefully and slowly, as I would if I were carrying the girl with me. I swam through every lake I came across, changing direction while in the water so the hunter would have to circle the shore to try to find where I'd come back to land.

As the hours passed I was beginning to travel into Appalachia and still he'd not caught up to me.

I found the caverns I was looking for and darted into their dark depths, trailing the girl's scent behind me.

In the dank caves there was a strong odor of moisture and saltpeter. Things looked differently than the last time I'd been here; these caves must have been mined for gunpowder, perhaps during the Civil War.

I ventured deep into the caverns, past the mineral-rich pools, past the native burial grounds. To human eyes I would have been in utter darkness, but I could yet see.

I climbed a wall and squeezed into an opening behind a mass of stalactites, a shower of rubble scattered to the floor below me.

I crawled through my narrow tunnel and into an adjacent cavern. It was so dark I could scarcely see anymore. Everything was in the deep off-purple hue of infrared light. This part of the cave seemed to have remained untouched by the humans. I easily found my way into the next tunnel and descended deeper into cooler earth.

I followed the cave for several miles until the floor disappeared before me. I balled up my scrap of fabric tightly in my fist and jumped into the empty cavern below. I fell for nearly ten seconds before landing with a great splash into an underground river.

I let the water carry me along for several more miles, occasionally grazing my scrap of fabric along the wall to mark it with Alice's scent.

After several more minutes the water quickened and, with a great rush, the river cast me over a fall into a great subterranean lake all aglow with white-blue bioluminescence.

The lake was actually quite lovely. Under more pleasant circumstances I would have wished to bring the girl, Alice, to see it. I was certain she would have appreciated its serene beauty.

These caverns were very far beneath the surface. I could set off a ton of dynamite down here and no human would notice. Even if the sound did manage to reach the open air somehow, it would do so in a completely uninhabited region. This was a safe place.

I swam to the far side of the lake and made my way into the adjoining chamber.

I ran over to the far wall and crawled partway into a small opening near the ceiling. I tossed the scrap of her fabric into the dark hole and then I doubled back, hopped up onto an outcropping of rock over the entrance and waited, watching the passageway that led to the lake from whence I'd just come.

If my plan worked as I hoped the hunter would follow me here, thinking I had the girl with me. Even if I hadn't fooled him, even if he could tell somehow that I was traveling alone, I hoped he would follow me anyway in order to find out where she was. I couldn't imagine how he would be able to track her scent in the open ocean.

The thought of her out there, all alone and unconscious, exposed to the sea and the sun, so vulnerable… I wanted to race out of this place and find her, to keep her safe. But I couldn't do that. I was keeping her safe. If I went to her now it would be the end of her.

And so I waited, motionless and silent. With every moment that passed I felt equally more confident and more anxious. If he was following me, each second that passed was making Alice more immortal and less vulnerable. If he wasn't following me, but instead searching for her out at sea, then every moment I waited he could be getting closer to her.

The conflict was torturous. The day must surely be coming to a close now. Why was it taking so long for him to find me? Perhaps he'd given up?

When that thought crossed my mind I had a fleeting glimmer of hope. Perhaps he had found her after all and decided to give up? If I hadn't fooled him he may have gone out to sea to seek her out. Perhaps he had - though I couldn't imagine how – found her. And if he found her, seeing that she was well on the way to becoming an immortal, she might no longer be of interest to him. Why even bother following me at that point?

At that moment I heard a sound, a distant splash of something large falling into water.

He'd made it to the river. He was coming after all.

I steeled myself for his arrival, reminding myself that this is what I'd really hoped for. It was better that he had followed me. I would rather be torn to pieces this moment than to ever let him get near her again.

Another twenty minutes passed and there was no further sign of him. He was taking his time, it seemed. He must be letting the current carry him, making certain that he was following the correct path. Good. Every moment that passed the girl drew nearer to sanctuary.

I heard the slight rush of water as he went over the falls, and the splash as he dropped into the lake in the next cavern.

He swam to the shore and I heard his wet footfalls as he circled the water, checking for any secondary path we might have taken.

And then he followed my scent into the chamber where I waited.

I saw him enter below me, following my scent trail toward the far wall. I wanted so badly to jump at him, attack him, and catch him off guard. Though I'd been in fights before, even wars, I was still no match for this one in battle. My best chance was to avoid conflict altogether. And so I let my enemy pass beneath me unharmed.

He seemed to notice that something was unusual. Something about the way he was stalking forward told me that he was waiting for the unexpected. Like a listener who any moment expects to hear the punch line which will make sense of a long drawn-out joke.

When he got to the far wall I decided to speak.

"You will not find her. I've hidden her well."

He whirled around, surprised, and stared at me, then leered.

"So, you have hidden her. I thought as much. Her scent has been growing weaker. And I doubted you would bring your little pet here, unless you were completely ignorant of the effects of carbon dioxide poisoning in humans."

"True," I admitted. "And it is rather too cold here for one so small and weak as she."

My calm answer seemed to make him more wary. He paused, studying me for a moment before answering.

"You're wrong, though. I will find her. You'd better not let your guard down now. No matter where you've hidden her I will seek her out."

"She smells that good to you, does she? Do you expect her to taste as pleasant as she smells? Will that be reward enough for all your trouble?" Keep him talking. He thinks he has all the time in the world. I know better.

"This isn't about her blood, you old fool," he growled with narrowed eyes. "Her blood will be a sweet reward, but this is about the hunt. I only wish there were more of you, and better skilled, to defend her. This game is almost too easy."

"Is it, now? How have I failed you, my master?" There was a sneer in my voice. He sneered back.

"I've known since I came across your little clear-cut logging area that you've been leading me on. If you really intended to flee with her over the water you would have taken food and warm clothing for your human, and you would have hidden your efforts to build her a watercraft rather than laying it out for me so obviously. Though… it was plain that she did board your little raft."

He seemed to lapse into thought as he spoke.

"The trail you left for me, leading me here, seemed to me designed to slow my progress, but not to get me off your track. The girl isn't with you, and yet you took no provisions for her from the asylum. Not even a blanket to keep her warm."

"We have been having warm weather of late," I noted, interrupting him. He just glared at me in response.

"The raft I found washed ashore could have been a duplicate. If so… I'm guessing that you left your little pet out there on the water, all alone, so you could lead me away from her. Am I right?"

"That hardly seems likely. As you said, I didn't bring food, or water, or warm clothes for her. And what if she should fall overboard and drown? Is it not more likely that I threw you from our trail when I left on a side-venture to hide the girl on the way here."

He continued as if I hadn't spoken.

"But maybe she doesn't need human provisions anymore. Maybe you knew she wouldn't need to eat or drink. Maybe you've been leading me as far away from her as you can, on a path that you knew would take time to follow, because you only want time. And a full day has already been wasted in following you."

As he spoke his expression shifted from amused speculation to dark hot rage. I waited, feigning calm disinterest, wishing that I could simply will him to calm down as well.

He looked hard at me.

"You've fed recently," he accused.

I shrugged. "An elderly man passed away at the asylum the night before we left."

He closely examined my eyes and inhaled deeply. You've had more than just one old man. You've had at least two. Probably more. And I'd bet that they were alive when you drank them."

I couldn't help my shock. "How do you know that?"

He grinned savagely.

"Because you've been practicing. Haven't you? Practicing on people you felt were worthless so you could save your precious little girl. Well if that isn't a load of hypocrisy!"

I glared at him in return.

The hunter eyed me darkly in the light from the lake, which filtered softly through the passageway. His lip curled over his teeth and his brow furrowed. For a vampire, he was exceptionally ugly to begin with. This expression made him even less attractive.

"You really did it, didn't you…? Of course you did!"

I crossed my arms and looked down at him through half-closed lids.

"What are you accusing me of now? If you're saying that I've consumed her then you're entirely mistaken. I wouldn't ever let harm come to her. I actually care for her. I don't suppose that's something you could possibly fathom, though."

He bared his teeth and his glare transformed into a mask of pure hate.

"You've changed her!"

I stood motionless for a moment, gazing at him impassively while he waited for my response.

"Once we were free of the asylum I changed her the first chance I had. She is lost to you now. So leave and find yourself some other source of amusement."

His anger only seemed to build as I spoke.

"Idiot! I will destroy you for this! And when I've finished with you I will still find her and drain what's left of her blood!"

His threat against the girl, at last, elicited a snarl from me.

He seemed to take that as his cue and launched up at me, roaring in rage.

I dodged his attack, jumping up to the ceiling and crawling through the stalactites like an insect. He pursued me, of course, ripping the columns of stone from the ceiling as he came. The cavern shook from his violence and filled with thick dust.

Soon there was no more refuge for me and I jumped back down to the floor. He was faster than I was and caught up to me. But I was yet not without skill. I'd learned many defensive techniques in the wars and battles of my time. Some I'd used on him already and he would probably be expecting, but there were yet many others in my arsenal.

I fended him off as best as I could. But he struck at me swifter than a cobra, more rapidly than a hummingbird's wings. He was lethal.

I felt sharp jabs of pain as I lost several fingers, then an ear, and then a piece of my nose.

He was taking me piece by piece, in spite of my best defenses. Soon I wouldn't be able to fight anymore. My life would end very quickly after that point was reached, and then he would seek the girl. Would she be safe by the time he found her? I couldn't be sure, so I had to do whatever I could to buy her more time.

He took my left hand then and I knew it would soon be over. I couldn't delay in this way any longer.

He was faster than I was, and more skilled, it was true. But I was more desperate than he. And I could do something now, completely unexpected, and perhaps slow him down for a good while after I was no more.

He came at me again, aiming for my right hand this time. Instead of blocking his advance I darted in. My unexpected movement did catch him of guard and he missed my arm completely, grabbing my head instead, because I'd ducked down to grasp his left leg.

He had my neck in a firm grasp and could perhaps rip it from my shoulders in an instant. Before he had a chance to do that I heaved mightily on his thigh with both arms, kicking against his waist with my legs for added force.

He keened out a sharp cry of pain as I ripped his leg from his body and the sound of stone being torn apart mingled with his lament, echoing off the walls.

I felt his hands constrict painfully around my throat and he pulled hard, though he didn't seem to have leverage enough to do the job.

I took my small moment of opportunity and heaved his leg, with perfect accuracy into the small hole at the far end of the cavern. That hole descended straight down for miles before meeting its end in another subterranean lake, in blackness so completely void of light that even vampire eyes could not see. He would have a very hard time finding that limb again. And he would undoubtedly not leave this place without it. Hopefully that would be all the time she needed.

His cry of surprised pain transformed into a roar of renewed outrage when he realized what I'd done.

He threw my body violently down to the rocky ground.

I caught a glimpse of his face, now contorted by pain and fury into something truly ghoulish. He grasped my head again. My efforts at fighting him off were useless now; he had me pinned and completely helpless.

My final thought was about the girl. I hoped I'd done enough for her.


End file.
